Unexpected Emotions - Loss Mentioned - Mostly venting

LilLizzy1487

I am TTCAL. My first pregnancy.  We had a very early loss of pregnancy and it was rough on both of us.  We did what we were supposed to do and waited for my first normal menstrual cycle after the loss and it came as planned.  This month though, we got a little caught up in a moment and weren't protecting against pregnancy (which is fine, after all we are still TTC).  But I am feeling so emotionally different about it than I was the first time.  The first time, just the thought that I might be pregnant made me ecstatic and I was happy the whole time, until the loss of course. This time, I am noticing some possible symptoms of pregnancy and I want to be happy about it but I am mostly just feeling nervous and scared to be happy about it.  I'm sure this is probably normal (especially so soon after the loss).  But, it makes me sad that I feel this way.  I can't wait until it's time to take the pregnancy test, unless my menstrual cycle does come.  And if it does come, then how will I feel?  These thoughts are making me crazy.  I wish I could just stop them and be happy no matter what. 

Has anyone else had this emotional problem and how do you calm yourself down?  If I am pregnant again, I don't want to be scared about it all the time.  That can't be good for baby. 

mflowers929

Unfortunately a loss seems to take the wind out of our sails, so to speak. I don't think anyone who goes on to be PGAL goes without those worries. There's a lot of mantras from what I can see.
You might want to pop over to the other side and see what they say.

rslh10

What @furrypaws said (she said it nicer than I could have right now).

Nikolie93

I'm sorry for your loss, it sure does suck

I echo what furrypaws said as well. Good luck!

buggirl72

I am sorry for your loss.

If I'm understanding what you are asking/saying, you are in your 2WW and are only saying that you might be pregnant because you had unprotected sex this month.  Please keep in mind that many of the symptoms you are feeling could just be normal post-O symptoms caused by progesterone.  Both after a loss and while knowingly TTC it is very common to symptom spot and be hyper-aware of these symptoms. 

What you are feeling is normal. You now know on an emotional level that a second line on a test does not equal a take home baby.  Since the loss was so hard on you and your husband, going another few cycles without trying would not be a bad thing. Grieving the child you loss takes time.

LilLizzy1487

I'm not apologizing for anything.  If you thought that just the mention of possibly being pregnant is insensitive, then why does this group even exist?  There should just be PREGNANT boards and NOT PREGNANT boards.  I still am TTC to the best of my knowledge. I felt comfortable enough withthese boards to seek support. My fault I guess. 

When I was going through the worst of my grieving, I was posting on the loss boards because that was logical to me.  Posting about feeling symptoms that may or may not be there, logically to me, was something you would post in a TTCAL board.  Guess not. 

I also know that TTC especially after a loss, can take months/years for some people.  And that it is a rough thing to experience.  But how do all of you expect to bond and share so many intimate things about yourselves on this board and then just move over to another board, and what?  You never speak to each other again?  That's horrible. 

Me personally, I would be so happy to hear that someone may have "graduated" from TTCAL (whether they were first-time posters or not) since I wouldn't wish all the turmoil of TTC for long periods or having a loss or TTCAL on my worst enemy.  

The responses I have gotten here are by far the worst things I have seen on this site to date.  Even the people I was speaking with on the loss boards were congratulating others on positive tests and possible pregnancies.  And those people were still actively, physically going through their losses as was I. 

So, no apologies from me here.  And shame those of you who were jumping down my throat when I could have used a little more support.  I made a honest mistake and thought that's what this board was for.   Your responses were way more insensitive than my post.

This will be my last post here.  Best of luck to all of you.

Menrandes

Why...why why...do people come on here and not read the sticky in huge caps that makes it painfully obvious that, hey, maybe you should read that first!?
It's not a difficult concept.  At least, I thought.
OP, no one was rude to you.  They were just stating how things are in this community.  It works for us.  It protects us, usually.  If you stick around for a while you will see why those rules are here.
You clearly do not like it, so by all means, leave.  But going to a board that is full of people that came from this board and complaining about the ladies here was not the wisest choice. 

TashaCN

LilLizzy1487 said:

I'm not apologizing for anything.  If you thought that just the mention of possibly being pregnant is insensitive, then why does this group even exist?  There should just be PREGNANT boards and NOT PREGNANT boards.  I still am TTC to the best of my knowledge. I felt comfortable enough withthese boards to seek support. My fault I guess. 

When I was going through the worst of my grieving, I was posting on the loss boards because that was logical to me.  Posting about feeling symptoms that may or may not be there, logically to me, was something you would post in a TTCAL board.  Guess not. 

I also know that TTC especially after a loss, can take months/years for some people.  And that it is a rough thing to experience.  But how do all of you expect to bond and share so many intimate things about yourselves on this board and then just move over to another board, and what?  You never speak to each other again?  That's horrible. 

Me personally, I would be so happy to hear that someone may have "graduated" from TTCAL (whether they were first-time posters or not) since I wouldn't wish all the turmoil of TTC for long periods or having a loss or TTCAL on my worst enemy.  

The responses I have gotten here are by far the worst things I have seen on this site to date.  Even the people I was speaking with on the loss boards were congratulating others on positive tests and possible pregnancies.  And those people were still actively, physically going through their losses as was I. 

So, no apologies from me here.  And shame those of you who were jumping down my throat when I could have used a little more support.  I made a honest mistake and thought that's what this board was for.   Your responses were way more insensitive than my post.

This will be my last post here.  Best of luck to all of you.

Oh hell no. This is a shit ass day for me, and possibly/probably many other ladies here;  and this is a shit ass response to some very kind and patient advice and information as to what this board is meant for. I can't even...

mrspipp

OP, the ladies who responded to your post gave you good advice for continuing on this board, after your insensitive original post. I purposely didn't respond, bc my response would not have been as nice as theirs. Had you taken that advice, read the stickies and apologized, there would have been no issues. Instead, you come back with guns blazing, insulting the women who took time to respond to you. This does not seem to be the place for you, but keep in mind that others can see your post history when you go to other boards.

Frenchteachermama

meredithcarole

Seriously? OP, this was in very poor taste to begin with, but temper tantrums (that's what it is called when you stomp your feet and refuse to admit a mistake) are just ridiculous.

welly01

LilLizzy1487 said:

I am TTCAL. My first pregnancy.  We had a very early loss of pregnancy and it was rough on both of us.  We did what we were supposed to do and waited for my first normal menstrual cycle after the loss and it came as planned.  This month though, we got a little caught up in a moment and weren't protecting against pregnancy (which is fine, after all we are still TTC).  But I am feeling so emotionally different about it than I was the first time.  The first time, just the thought that I might be pregnant made me ecstatic and I was happy the whole time, until the loss of course. This time, I am noticing some possible symptoms of pregnancy and I want to be happy about it but I am mostly just feeling nervous and scared to be happy about it.  I'm sure this is probably normal (especially so soon after the loss).  But, it makes me sad that I feel this way.  I can't wait until it's time to take the pregnancy test, unless my menstrual cycle does come.  And if it does come, then how will I feel?  These thoughts are making me crazy.  I wish I could just stop them and be happy no matter what. 

Has anyone else had this emotional problem and how do you calm yourself down?  If I am pregnant again, I don't want to be scared about it all the time.  That can't be good for baby. 

I'm so glad I missed this stupid shit yesterday.  I love how PgAL reacted to her post.

LilLizzy1487

If anyone happens to still read this or come across it, I do formally apologize about this whole episode.  It was an emotional outburst at the wrong people in the wrong place.  I have since read everything I needed to read.  I apologize for having a tantrum.  I was also an emotional newbie and reacted.  Again, I'm sorry.  If I could just delete my post, I would but I can't.