My Christmas b**ching for the day

Ago

Okay, so I participated in the ornament exchange and loved using Elfster.  DHs family does a cousins gift exchange at Christmas (I think we are all too old for it, but whatever), and I suggested to a couple of cousins over Thanksgiving that we use Elfster, since many of us are all over the country and because we didn't get together last year, some gifts were literally exchanged 11 months after Christmas.  They were fine with it, I set it up, and DH's uncle immediately starts bitching about it.  He thinks it will send him too much junk mail and it isn't the way his mom used to do it (keep in mind, he isn't even one of the COUSINS).  But his precious boys (both eagle scouts, one an Ivy League school member) can't do ANYTHING themselves, so he has to sign them up himself, hence his complaint about the junk mail.  Also, he sent me privately a message saying "well, you probably don't know this, but mom would rig the pot so certain people get certain names.  I need to get so-and-so's name because I found the perfect thing for them" then he sent an email to the group saying he is against Elfster and we should keep it simple by doing a spreadsheet and having someone in charge.  I just feel like he was telling me I stepped out of my bounds as a non-member of the family by doing it differently than the family used to do it (I have been in this family almost 10 years).  So I send an email to the group saying I deleted the Elfster exchange and that it looked like uncle so-and-so was volunteering to head up the exchange.

FIL (the uncles brother) texted me to tell me "Let him lead."  Then an aunt jumped in, said she was in charge of the name drawing, and would conduct it like years past.  Fine. 

Ago

Yes, exactly @pegacorn.  God forbid someone who isn't even a member of the family suggest a CHANGE.  This uncle is the baby of the family and he really is the baby of the family.  Two of his siblings came to his rescue, so all is well. 8-|

michelle615

jse25 said:

Wow. I feel you on extended family drama. Holidays seem to be more stressful than necessary when it's more than immediate family. Mine still wants to make a big production with all the cousins, aunts/uncles, and my rapidly aging grandparents every year. It's only a success of certain members are present and anyone with other family stuff catches hell (screw the underlings and their previous commitments). All the cousins are over 30 with families of their own but some still want to go back in time to when we were children and spent 8 hours every holiday together at my grandparents' house.

I couldn't agree more.  I have no problem getting together with my family and H's family during the holiday season, but the gift giving and expectations are way too much.  Times change.  Let's find new traditions

dmlk413

He sounds like a real winner. 

We have always drawn names with DH's family and this year SIL and I decided to cancel it.  Thank goodness!

Ago

I would love to cancel as well.  We even talked about just doing the next generation instead of adults too, but no, the adults want presents too!  Sheesh. 

The youngest of the first cousins is a junior or senior in high school, so while there is a big age spread, I think he could take it well.  He is the uncle's youngest son.  Those boys do EVERYTHING on their parents dime (parents have no money now) and don't lift a finger, and the parents keep enabling them to do it.  Seriously, Ivy League Schools, eagle scouts, and European trips.  I reached the end of my rope with it when the uncle was fundraising for a European trip for the oldest, hounding us daily for money.  Finally I donated when I was there in the city for another reason, and the dad told the oldest "She just donated some money to your trip" and the kid just muttered a thanks on his way to the kitchen.  Hey, no problem kid!  I can't fathom ever being able to go to Europe on my paycheck, but you have fun with that! 

skategirl128

Yikes! That's crazy! I'm sorry some of you are dealing with all the craziness!

dmlk413

Dude, who seeks donations to finance their trip to Europe?! Klassy.

[Deleted User]

Stuff like this makes me want to get no one presents. Except DS of course. Sorry you're dealing with such dumb drama.

Ago

dmlk413 said:

Dude, who seeks donations to finance their trip to Europe?! Klassy.

It was some sort of private school trip.  Maybe a choir trip?  I don't remember.

Ago

YellowWallpaper12 said:

I'm dying at an Ivy League student not being able to set up an Elfster account. Prayer circle for the poor woman who ends up marrying him.

ETA: Also for the future wife of the brat who can't properly thank someone for financing his European vacation. wtf

Both the same kid!  He is one smart asshole.