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gabbigeo
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Moving Far Away from Family, Preggo with 1st
gabbigeo
member
Hello all,
I'm just curious if anyone else has ever been in a similar situation. DH is wanting to move out of state, and up until the BFP I was really excited and looking forward to moving. But now I'm starting to think it's a bad idea. We're going to have our first child in July and looking to move in January, we haven't told anyone yet about the pregnancy because then they'd be even more opposed to our moving. This is something he has wanted to do for a long time. He wants to even more now that I'm pregnant and I don't really know that its what I want to do now. Being 1,000 miles away from all our family and friends throughout my entire pregnancy and thru the birth of our child sounds to me now like we'll be setting ourselves up for hard times and stress. I'd like to have our families around while I'm pregnant and especially after the birth. I would like for our family to get a chance to be close to our child, not to mention I know we'll need their help after the birth as most new parents do, right? (Big fat) BUT this is something he has wanted, and I did want, for a long time, as I said. I can't tell him no now can I? Not when we are finally so close to achieving our long time dream of getting out of here? Just fyi, there is no obligating reason why we need to move, I did apply to grad school and was planning to go but I could go to a school closer to our families too. We just both wanted to get out of Houston and live in a place that fits our philosophy and lifestyle a little better and Co Springs seems perfect, or seemed perfect I should say. Anyone else have their first child far away from all your friends and family? How did you cope? Should I tell him I want to stay, when I'm not sure either way really? Should we tell our families before we move so that they at least give us their opinions? I should tell you too, my mom has been wanting me to have a baby for a while now and also has been saying she's going to kidnap me so I can't move, and she doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet! Anyway, help! Advice? Eye openers? Similar experiences? Thanks in advance.
I'm just curious if anyone else has ever been in a similar situation. DH is wanting to move out of state, and up until the BFP I was really excited and looking forward to moving. But now I'm starting to think it's a bad idea. We're going to have our first child in July and looking to move in January, we haven't told anyone yet about the pregnancy because then they'd be even more opposed to our moving. This is something he has wanted to do for a long time. He wants to even more now that I'm pregnant and I don't really know that its what I want to do now. Being 1,000 miles away from all our family and friends throughout my entire pregnancy and thru the birth of our child sounds to me now like we'll be setting ourselves up for hard times and stress. I'd like to have our families around while I'm pregnant and especially after the birth. I would like for our family to get a chance to be close to our child, not to mention I know we'll need their help after the birth as most new parents do, right? (Big fat) BUT this is something he has wanted, and I did want, for a long time, as I said. I can't tell him no now can I? Not when we are finally so close to achieving our long time dream of getting out of here? Just fyi, there is no obligating reason why we need to move, I did apply to grad school and was planning to go but I could go to a school closer to our families too. We just both wanted to get out of Houston and live in a place that fits our philosophy and lifestyle a little better and Co Springs seems perfect, or seemed perfect I should say. Anyone else have their first child far away from all your friends and family? How did you cope? Should I tell him I want to stay, when I'm not sure either way really? Should we tell our families before we move so that they at least give us their opinions? I should tell you too, my mom has been wanting me to have a baby for a while now and also has been saying she's going to kidnap me so I can't move, and she doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet! Anyway, help! Advice? Eye openers? Similar experiences? Thanks in advance.
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Re: Moving Far Away from Family, Preggo with 1st
Also, you're not done with school yet? How will you do school long distance?
We've been trying for almost 2 years now, so in the grand scheme of things not that long I suppose. He can work remote from anywhere with his job. The school won't be long distance as it's in Colorado, and is why we had originally planned to move there but I could go to a school here in Texas, it would just mean starting the application process over again but that's no big deal.
We love the area we live in, husband has a great job, we have a house and a few good friends. Since we are limited to move, we try to convince our families to move to us. It would be more fun, cheaper in travel costs, and just better for our happiness if we were close to family.
I did not need family support for pregnancy but it was nice to have my MIL with me for labor and birth. And after baby girl was born I could have managed without family help but it was great to have them anyway. If you are unfortunate enough to end up with PPD or something similar I think having more local support is helpful. People over estimate the ease of finding new friends in a new place that you are close enough with and trust to help you with a new baby.
If you move, find a local moms club. that is a good start to building a new support system.
Good luck.
We've thought about moving back to be closer to family but we wouldn't be able to give DS the lifestyle we want for him if we did. I'm a big believer in doing what is best for you and your family, if you have been dreaming of this move then go for it while you are young and healthy. If it doesn't work out you can always go back