How do you co-parent with someone when you have a 1 year old?

laurenlalap

I'm so lost and hurt. I'm sorry if this isn't the proper place to put this. I am literally in the middle of a miscarriage and my husband is being horrible and awful today. We have an almost 1 year old son and as horrible as this sounds, and I know it might be flameworthy, I think this M/C was my sign that I should not have any more children with this man and leave.

He is currently on paternal leave and he took today to tell my how he feels trapped, cagey and like he has no life. He says he hates his life and admits he is an alcoholic as he "needs to escape." He doesn't drink while caring for our son, but he gets drunk and plays video games every single night.

When I received the phone call from the doctor's office today and started to cry, my husband's first reaction was to tell me it's karma because I told my family when we were 4 weeks. He then proceeded to tell me that he can't listen to me cry all day and when he snapped and said WHY ARE YOU CRYING WHAT DO YOU WANT. I told him I just need a hug. He said he can't do that because he "does everything around the house and gets no help."... Yes - this is the time he tells me he's unhappy with his household chores - 3 minutes after my doctor confirmed my miscarriage.

Fast forward to 2 hours later. We both calmed down and I told him how upset his comments made me feel. He denied them and accused me of taking them out of context, and then apologized "if I took things the wrong way." I went for a nap with my son and woke up to massive clots. I thought I was going to pass out. 

Of course my DH was playing video games so I'm yelling at him to come up and watch our son (who is now up and crying) and I'm on the toilet passing clots the size of my fists. 

He does not come up. 

I  yell down again - and he yells back, "WHEN MY FUCKING GAME IS OVER!"

I then go down, clotting and everything, and tell him how urgent the situation is. Of course he snaps, grabs our son and brings him down. He's yelling at me, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!??! I'M TRAPPED IN THIS HOUSE!! WHEN CAN I LEAVE!?!?!"

I've been locked in my bedroom ever since. 

If we didn't have our son I would be out of here and divorce him in a second, but I can't get over custody arrangement. I'm sure he will get joint custody and I just can't see that working. I can't imagine not seeing my son for a week at a time, not to mention I don't trust my husband to care for him when I'm not there.

I am beyond lost, heart broken and I feel so guilty for my sweet baby who is in the middle of all of this.

I'm sorry this is such a ramble. I just don't know where to go from here.

MinnesotaMomma91

What @becwheat said. Yes the situation sucks and it sucks to go through a divorce but a divorce is better then raising your son in a volitle enviroment.