Late Term and Child Loss

Can we skip past Christmas this year?

It seems wrong to be planning Christmas celebrations this year. My due date was Christmas Eve of this year. How can I face that day knowing how it should have been? Will the holidays ever be the same for me again?
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Re: Can we skip past Christmas this year?

  • I'm trying to answer the same question. I think its safe to assume we're going to need our alone time. I'm trying to let my family know ahead of time that I will need that space and I will need their understanding when I'm not in the typical holiday cheer. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there was more that we could do, but internet hugs shall have to do for now (((((Big hugs))))) Just know you're not alone. 
    BFP #1 12/19/13 We lost our Fenix 7/31/14 at 36 weeks due to torn umbilical cord
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  • This will be our first Christmas without Ava, the first one she would have really gotten it.  Instead we are going away for the week with my parents and our sisters.
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  • We have told our families that we won't be making plans with anyone Christmas Eve or day. We will let them make plans and if we feel up to it, we will join them. I wish we could just sleep the day away but that isn't fair to dd. If it is anything like my nephews first birthday party yesterday then I will be a mess. Hang in their ladies.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • ****siggy warning



    I share your question. I'm already dreading the holidays. Actually, I'm not just dreading the days, I'm dreading my lack of holiday cheer and having to force a smile. I feel like I just want to hide under a blanket until it's all over. Let's all just have a group hug and continue it until January.
  • I love Christmas! I love everything about it. This year though I have been having anxiety just with the holidays coming up. Husband and I are avoiding family this year and taking a snow skiing trip during Christmas with just the two of us (we also went snow skiing together for the first time together after Trenton's services to get away). I may just be weird but constant family consulting our loss just makes it worse. I like to handle it on my own between my husband.

    Cancer robbed me of my son and I am going to try not to let it ruin the holidays for me as well. We are going to have a separate Christmas tree for Trenton going forward and family and friends are welcome to get ornaments for it if they want.

    ((Hugs to all))) this year is good to be rough.
    Married my rock - April 29, 2011
    BFP - June 4, 2011 EDD February 3, 2012
    Super T born @ 37 weeks - January 13, 2012
    Super T diagnosed with stage IV high risk Neuroblastoma nmyc-amp - January 2, 2013
    Super T cancer free - June 19, 2013
    Super T relapsed - January 2, 2014
    Super T earned his angel wings - January 3, 2014
     
    TTC for #2 beginning November 2014
    BFP #2 - Chemical Pregnancy - Confirmed May 29, 2015
    Diagnosed with PCOS; HSG - Clear; SA - Clear
    Clomid #1 - BFN
    Femera Cycle #2 - BFN
    Femera Cycle #3 - BFP 11/10/15 - EDD 07/14/16
     
     
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  • I was just thinking about this. I am usually expected to host & just don't think I can do it with my pregnant SIL. She has been wonderful & supportive, but I can't handle her opening baby stuff in my house when we were planning to announce to everyone at Christmas (end of first trimester -- just lost this week). I'm hoping my husband will agree to take a mini vaca with just the two of us.
  • Im with everyone else, I just want to hibernate until the end of January. My husband is well aware that starting with Thanksgiving going through Hanukkah and Christmas (DH family is Jewish) that when I say we need to go it means we drop everything and leave. I think he is handling our sons loss a little better than me but not much. I usually love the holidays but not this year.
  • Yes, and Thanksgiving too. I'll be home alone for both, pretending they're not happening.
  • Last year was our first Christmas without Colton and it was pretty awful. I know now I should have stood up for myself more, planned ahead and given myself some space, but i didn't, and we ended up at my ILs which was not a good idea. I nearly had a panic attack Christmas morning, and we ended up coming home early. My ILs were total a**holes about it, like "what's the big deal, why is she so upset?" and anyway, we won't be going there this year. As December ended, and the new year began, I literally felt as though a weight lifted off of me - the holiday season was just so hard.

    I don't really have any advice, I feel the depression sinking in again already this year, but try to just take it day by day, don't commit to things you don't want to do, and allow yourself space. We did try to include Colton in the holiday last year - hung his stocking, bought his "baby's first Christmas" ornaments, gave gifts in his memory - and that was nice. This year I think we will also decorate the tree we planted for him in our backyard, maybe make that a Christmas Eve tradition that we can do every year.
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
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