feeling detached.... or just emotional!!!! help

mjungman

I'm 23 weeks pregnant tomorrow and my motivation is at an all time low. I don't want to clean house, don't want to work, socialize, take bump pics, work on the nursery or even finish the registry. Im easily irritated at stupid things and I've even gotten to the point of getting angry with our two dogs and putting them outside just so I don't have to deal with them. (When the weather is nice). My husband and I lost our son at 17 wks last April ( he was diagmosed with a fatal cromosomal abnormality at 13 wks) and we're surprised with this pregnancy 3 months later. Our current Baby boy is healthy and kicking... very active, and I enjoy the time I get laying on the couch feeling him move but I can't help but feel guilty for my happiness. I feel like I'm detaching from this pregnancy not believing it's real or just trying to Ignore it because I feel overwhelmed with my to do list which includes moving across state shortly after baby cameron is born. Either way holidays begin this next week with a family reunion and then baby showers are right around the corner and I can't seem to get excited. I don't make a habit of complaining but any advice on how to get back to enjoying the fact that I have a healthy baby boy on the way and being happy rather that fighting depression.

lawsonellis

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with such heavy emotions!!

There's a *really* supportive PGaL board here on TB that you might benefit from. There are several women out there going through what you're experiencing and there's nothing more important than having a strong circle of support.

((Hugs to you))

urani

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It sounds like you could benefit from talking to a counselor or even a trusted friend or family member. Your grief is still very fresh. Try not to feel guilty about your joy for baby Cameron, it doesn't lessen the love you have for your first child.

::hugs::

mwerren

Very sorry for your previous loss. I have to agree with PP and especially with what @MandJS‌ said. Please talk to your ob. You're definitely not the first woman to go through this and they can help get you back on track to a happy and enjoyable pregnancy.

lisap0924

I am so sorry about your loss, but I agree with @urani‌. Try not to feel bad about your current joy. You love both of your sons

Bostonchelle

I'm really sorry for your loss. Pregnancy can be really overwhelming add on to that a previous loss, moving, holidays, winter (the darkness alone can make you feel unmotivated) etc etc and it only feels more overwhelming. If it gets to a point that you feel you aren't functioning through those feelings it is always a good idea to bring it up with your doctor. I find that a little exercise- especially if you can do it outside can give you a little boost of energy and can go a long way.

I've had several losses in the past few years and absolutely understand feeling detached. Detaching is a way of protecting yourself, I find myself in the same situation. I have a toddler and felt some of the same detachment when I was pregnant with her (after 1
of 3 losses) but as soon as she was born and I knew she was healthy I was able to let go of the fears that were causing me to detach.

Also as pp said there is a pregnancy after loss board that is really helpful.

Christina80xoxo

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think your feelings are valid.
I had five miscarriages before this baby. At first I was "whatever" about everything with it because I just refused to let myself get hurt again
Even now, sometimes I detach myself because I'm just so afraid of feeling that hurt again
I think what you're going through sounds a little more serious than just the normal blues. I would definitely talk with your dr and get some help.
I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, just wishing the best for you and getting help may be really beneficial in your situation.
Good luck and lots of hugs !!!

mjungman

Thanks so much for the support guys, I took the advice on exercise and did schedule me and my husband for counseling. Today was the first session and it seemed to help. Again thanks for the love.

smithers01

Sorry for your loss! I completely understand though as far as no energy. I swear I have less energy now than the first trimester. Don't beat yourself up about it. Things will get done. I know it's still stressful but you got this. Happy holidays!