NCDR: Decide my Life

TJ1979

Obv I'm not basing one of the biggest decisions of my life on you guys, but just for funsies... what should I do?

bumpuser9353653

Colorado! So then when we move there we can have play dates with the girls!

CLLDLL

MK's commune, with the rest of us. 

unaveragejane

Another vote for the commune!

CLLDLL

theultimatesak said:

I need more details about your visit before I can advise.

If the commune is not a viable answer, then I agree with this.

Oooo...now you look like Sgriff instead of the poster formerly known as SAK. 

welly01

I voted stay in Houston, cuz duh, I live in Houston too.  But I do think that Houston is a great place to live.  LCOL, usually low unemployment, there's a ton of culture and entertainment here.

abby8279

I didn't vote and I can't see the results (like usual).  Anyway, I wish I knew more about your situation so I could chime in.  I lived 2 hrs outside Houston for 2 yrs and I really liked visiting Houston.  However, I don't know much about Oklahoma.  Have only driven through it.

SuperTinkerham

I voted Houston... because I'm in houston. I would rather live in a thriving coastal location than in OK. I would feel like OK would be a huge change from the stuff I love about Houston. Houston is busy and has a really great job market right now. To move to OK where the market might be ok for just oil- do not want.

And you know when a hurricane is coming. A tornado can flatten you at any time!

Mandmeesh

I say move.  And my reason is because of the ridiculous work commute that you have.  If moving helps end that commute, it's so worth it

sarenu1

If the more would benefit both of you and is an amazing opportunity, I vote move.

As much as it's a pain to move young kids and to move in general, it will be easier at this point in the kid's lives to pick up and move somewhere different.

stoneycakes

What does your H want? Is he super excited about this new job opportunity? Or is he wishy washy, too, but is being swayed by money? Because money doesn't make you happy. Mo money mo problems.

TJ1979

Okay, so we visited this weekend.  And I'll be honest, I didn't hate it.  Everyone was SOOOOO nice.  Like, not just the people related to the job and the move, but every single person we met was super friendly.  Except one bitch who hassled me about having my baby outside in the cold.  But how else am I supposed to get her from the car into the hotel?  Magic?

Anyway.  Yes, Stoney, MH is super duper stoked.  Like, giddy.  Not just about the money, but the job, the team he would be working with, the quiet, rural area we were looking at living in, the easier commute.  And he would be happy for us to be closer to my family, whom we visit more frequently.  It would be half the distance we currently are from them.  And yes, Meesh, the commute would be half what it is now too.  And it would be mostly driving, not mostly sitting.

The biggest cons are leaving my job which I've been at for 10 years and love, leaving my bff whom it took me 30 something years to find, but she is my honest to goodness soulmate, and losing our nanny. 

TJ1979

Really?  Every time I look it's 50/50.  Y'all are not helping.

TJ1979

stringy813 said:

Cost of living/housing comparable?

There are certain things that are higher here, or higher there, but I think overall it's going to end up just about the same.

CLLDLL

I think I'm with Stringy on this one.  It sounds like overall it would be better for your family, with a couple downsides that might turn into good things.  (Change is scary, but in the end you grow as a person with some change in your life.) 

Plus I'm a huge advocate of moving while the kids are little.  We drug our feet on moving 30 minutes away when D was still in preschool.  Now we have to figure out how/when to make a move happen without uprooting his entire world by making him change schools, not be by the friends he's had across the street his whole life, etc. 

sarenu1

My husband once asked me if I would ever consider moving every few years (basically he would be a project manager and move as projects came up).

My answer was simply, "Sure, if the money was there so that I would not need to line up a job before moving and if he thought he could really love the job."

I find it scary to move and try to figure out a new area, but in reality I'm not tied to one area.

ElleBeeDub

Moving's not so bad. In fact, I think it's kinda fun to get a new perspective sometimes Plus, in my experience, if your DH is happier with his job, the whole family benefits.

bumpuser9353653

I suppose OK is closer to CO than Houston is...

I've lived in the same place since I was 2. I have seen tons of growth here, but it still doesn't change the fact that I've never lived anywhere else (besides college). Just out of principal,I want to move in a few years. To see a different part of the country. Different culture. Different view.

I vote move !

stoneycakes

It sounds like the only cons are that you're scared to make a change. Your BFF will always be your BFF no matter where you live. I say move.

redrockmama

As much as I'm not a fan of OK, I say move. Sounds like there are more pros than cons.

stoneycakes

Mapleme said:

My bff and I went to school together in 6th grade and since have never lived less than an hour apart. She now lives about 3000 miles away. We've gone through our relationship ups and downs, but she might as well be my sister in that distance has nothing to do with our emotional closeness.

I agree.  There are so many ways to communicate now, it's easy to stay close.  You can even make a date to have drinks together using Skype

I also think the fact that your H is psyched about the new job and you won't have the long commute anymore seriously adds to your quality of life.

stoneycakes

TJ, when do you have to decide?

TJ1979

We just did.

stoneycakes

TJ1979 said:

We just did.

Well what is your decision?!?!?!?!?

TJ1979

I should probably tell my family before I tell the internet, right?

stoneycakes

TJ1979 said:

I should probably tell my family before I tell the internet, right?

No.

Into+the+Kitty

Comgratulations on deciding.

stoneycakes

Mapleme said:

This is big news and I keep wanting to tell DH. But then I realize that he probably doesn't care if one of my imaginary friends is moving from one imaginary location to another imaginary location. Even if it is his favorite cocaine snorter/nose picker.

ITK's H cares, though, because he might have to update his SS.

Into+the+Kitty

stoneycakes said:

Mapleme said:

This is big news and I keep wanting to tell DH. But then I realize that he probably doesn't care if one of my imaginary friends is moving from one imaginary location to another imaginary location. Even if it is his favorite cocaine snorter/nose picker.

ITK's H cares, though, because he might have to update his SS.

Guys, don't worry, he's just a figment of my imagination anyways.

TJ1979

I can't believe NO ONE quoted OK's cd reqs in DC for this. Wouldn't that be a huge factor?

sarenu1

TJ1979 said:

I can't believe NO ONE quoted OK's cd reqs in DC for this. Wouldn't that be a huge factor?

Since I'm lazy, lay it on me. Cause I have no clue.

nanabanana06

https://www.clothdiaperoklahoma.org/daycare-centers-that-accept-cloth-diapers.html

Boom! YWIA

Mandmeesh

Okay TJ. You've had plenty of time to tell your families.

Now tell us what your decision was

stoneycakes

Seriously.  I keep getting all excited when I see a yellow flag!

TJ1979

stoneycakes

welly01

Congrats!  I hope this will be a good move for your family. 

bumpuser9353653

yay how exciting! Hope the move is smooth for everyone!

hopeby2015

Congrats! Hope the move won't be too stressful!