Moms of two or more, I need advice

bsmerelda@yahoo.com

My son is 4.5 years old I'm getting baby fever, but I am on the fence. My husband would love to have another baby, but me I'm not so sure.

-I'm only 24 and though established in my career I often dream of starting my own business (DH by the way is 28)

-Emotional stress on the marriage, DS still throws a fit when its bedtime and often wakes up during the night at least one time.

-Though we have a three bedroom house, I would love to get a bigger house.

-I love my me time and our date nights and with one its so much easier to find a babysitter.

-Kids are expensive. Though we could afford another child we might not be able to take family vacations like we do now.

**Reasons to have another child:

-My son would have someone to grow up with, some one to play with, and someone to always have his back.

-When me and DH are dead and gone, DH will not have to make hard decisions alone or go through it alone.

-With more than one kid their are more chances to be a grandma one day :P

-My sister and I are 10 years apart and have never been close and I've always wanted a relationship with her.

Any advice would be appreciated. What are the pros and cons of having one child versus two? TIA!

 

 

ashiscute

It's hard to answer your question because the answer for everyone is different. For me when DH and I were trying to decide for #3 I made pros and cons list with him. But no matter what or how much I put on my cons list I still wanted another baby. The cons seemed petty in comparison.

It's ok if you don't want another or don't want another yet. I think a better list would be things you would ideally like accomplished before having another child and seeing how that list looks. If it's really long then maybe it's not right. Good luck.

jnnfrrose6

My first piece of advice:  If that's your email address, change your username ASAP.

Second:  No one here can tell you the pros and cons for you having a 2nd child (or not having a second child) as it is different for each person and family.  For example, your "pro" about your child having someone to go through the loss of you and your husband isn't even on my radar for a reason to have a kid.  A:  That will hopefully be a long way off.  B:  I hope to raise well adjusted children who, even if they choose not to have a significant other, will have friends that will be there for them.

HippoTooth

bsmerelda@yahoo.com said:

My son is 4.5 years old I'm getting baby fever, but I am on the fence. My husband would love to have another baby, but me I'm not so sure.

-I'm only 24 and though established in my career I often dream of starting my own business (DH by the way is 28)

-Emotional stress on the marriage, DS still throws a fit when its bedtime and often wakes up during the night at least one time.

-Though we have a three bedroom house, I would love to get a bigger house.

-I love my me time and our date nights and with one its so much easier to find a babysitter.

-Kids are expensive. Though we could afford another child we might not be able to take family vacations like we do now.

**Reasons to have another child:

-My son would have someone to grow up with, some one to play with, and someone to always have his back.

-When me and DH are dead and gone, DH will not have to make hard decisions alone or go through it alone.

-With more than one kid their are more chances to be a grandma one day :P

-My sister and I are 10 years apart and have never been close and I've always wanted a relationship with her.

Any advice would be appreciated. What are the pros and cons of having one child versus two? TIA!

 

 

I think that most of the reasons you have listed not to have another child are valid.  I don't think any of the reasons to have another child are valid in the least.

-Your child will have friends to play with and close ones to have his back.

-Your child will have other family members (assuming you have family members) to help him make hard decisions (that's why you have a Will)

-Your child will not necessarily be close to his sibling even though you wish you were closer with your sister.

-Your child(ren) may decide not to have any children of their own.