Tough weekend

Mrs.EvilQueen

So this weekend is the Baby Show, my husband and I had planned to attend with my mom, so we could buy our stroller.  Instead it is the month anniversary of when we lost Journey.  Side bar, what do you guys call that day?  I don't want to say birthday, because that seems wrong, I'm not sure if anniversary feels right.  Does anyone who had a still birth have something different that you're calling the day you delivered?  Anyway, back to what I was saying.  I know that the next while is going to be difficult.  I keep thinking about the path my life was supposed to be on, and how derailed and wrong everything seems now.  I'm having trouble coping with all these little events that now are not to be.  Any coping mechanism suggestions?

dadalou

I had a full term stillbirth. I call the monthly anniversaries Nathaniel Days. I didn't do anything the first one and since he was born in February it was also the same day of the week. It was a terrible day. The next month I decided that I needed to plan something fun to do on that day. It has really helped make the day not so sad. It doesn't matter what we do, it just needs to be something fun for me. I have tried to do new things or at least go places that we don't go all the time to make the day special. We just had our last one on Thursday. 9 months and I was surprisingly not sad at all that day.

stefuge

I'm so sorry. We don't really have a term for the day of the month, we just refer to it as the 28th, and most friends and family know that day is hard every month. My biggest coping mechanism has been writing. I write on my blog, share photos, quotes, song lyrics, whatever helps to express what I am feeling. Every month on the 28th I write a letter to Colton telling him how we are doing, what we have been doing, what we are missing without him, whatever is on my mind. We also light a candle every month in the evening on the 28th and take a photo which i post on the blog so that we have them all in order. I think everyone handles that day differently. Some do things that they would have done with their children, some light candles, some do random acts of kindness, some people write letters. Whatever seems appropriate for you. ((Hugs))

forevermyfenix

Our loss of was on the 31st, so we don't always have a "Monthaversary." Though at the end of every month it gets hard. It's only been 3 months so far since our 36 week loss. I try to keep myself busy so I don't fully consciously think about it being yet another month since our world changed forever.  (((Big hugs)))

jenn.schott

I have heard it called angelversery. The day each month is so very hard but we haven't called it anything. It is coming up on one year and I plan on just locking myself in the house for his diagnosis/relapse and angelversery since they are only one day apart.

issytex12

I just celebrated noahs 1st birthday on the 1st of this month, i couldnt help but call it a birthday because thats what it should have been he wasnt a stillborn but a NND but my husband and wanted to try and do something positive so we let off 12 lanterns one for each month we have missed him. When im having a crappy day i write down everything thats making me feel that way then burn the letter and let all the pieces fly away it helps me a lot. Deep breaths and one day at a time it will get easier in the end, not because you care any less or it hurts any less but our body finds a way to move forward and make us stronger inside i guess. Hope you feel better tommorrow xxxxx

msunshine123

I am sorry you are having such a hard day. It's so unfair. We haven't really called our day anything. It's only been 5 months since our son was born sleeping the day I went into labor. He had been alive and moving just before my labor started. It's a hard day each month because it's such a sharp reminder of all that I am missing and that somehow time is moving forward. ((hugs))