I think my DH killed his sperm!

stacylynnn

Hi Ladies,  Thank you for letting me vent.  I am really freaking out right now.  I was so excited this past cycle because I finally O'd for the first time after being off of the pill for 5 cycles.  I thought we actually had a chance to conceive.  Now AF is here and I am getting ready to try again, which is exciting too.  We have a spa at home and my DH uses it every night!!  Last cycle it occurred to us that this might be a really bad idea and he stopped right before I O'd.  A pediatrician at work told him that it takes 1 week for the sperm to regenerate, so when my fertile period passed he returned to the spa.  Since AF has appeared today I was going to have him stop the spa again but I decided to do some research just to make sure we are doing this right.  To my horror, when I did a Google search, I read a lot of articles that say it takes 60-70 days for sperm to mature.  Which means that if he stops now, he will be shooting blanks for a minimum of 2 cycles.  Luckily, he did take a semen test on Monday, although we don't have the results yet.  I am hoping that by some act of God he has super sperm and we don't have to back burner ttc for 2 months.  I am particularly upset because as more months pass I get closer to my next birthday.  I have this thing about wanting to get pregnant and give birth with my first while I am 36.  I will turn 36 in April.  I know that the older I get the harder it will be and the more ridiculous it seems to try for a second baby.  I feel like the longer it takes to the first, will make it harder for the second or that I/we may not want to try the second at that point. Please don't be insulted.  I know that many of you are older than me and have had success.  That is what encourages me.  I am just being honest about my fears.  I don't necessarily think that they are valid.

That being said I also know that a few extra months of ttc won't kill us and might even be part of God's plan.  I know that while I may not like what is happening that doesn't mean that is not how things are supposed to happen.  It will give me more time to treat with the back pain that I have been struggling with this year and also give me more time to get my pre baby body to weight that I feel comfortable with.   I also know that Google can be dangerous and that I should wait to talk to my OB regarding the sperm development (he will be available to take questions tomorrow afternoon and I will be calling) before I do actually mourn the temporary loss of his sperm.  

Thank you for letting me vent. I hope I have not offended anyone.  I'm not sure what I am looking for but I am glad that I have a place that I can share the journey.

KateLouise

I just wanted to say best wishes for the sperm test, I hope things look really good, and that either way you are able to conceive easily.

I think everyone here knows the anxiety of age, and what that might mean for current TTC plans and any hopes for further children.

I've heard it can take a couple of months for sperm to develop too (although I have no solid facts about that), and know nothing about what spa pool use does. Always best to let the OB to tell you facts rather than google stuff, no matter how tempting it is

meredithcarole

I understand your concerns. I would wait and see what the SA says. I think it is possible you are jumping to a worst case scenario.

kelley72

echo what @Rumbero28 states, and best wishes for a healthy conception soon!

vh2014

Agree with above, wanted to add you'll never know how you feel about trying for more children until you reach that age. I set a deadline of 30 at one point in my life. ..had it all figured out. Then when I hit 40 with then BF (who wasnt in my life at 30 but had been for 5 years) I thought it better happen that year or we wouldn't have any together. ..after he agreed he proposed a month later and shortly thereafter we benched ourselves until after the wedding... and I turned 41. My current cutoff is 43, but I know there's always that chance the longing will be there and it will get pushed out again... I guess my point is, don't focus on the "deadline", try and take it one month at a time (I know. ..easier said than done)

kelley72

@vh2014  I can relate to the moving "deadline".. I had my life planned 4 boys all by 30... then divorce, remarriage and oh my gosh can we possibly?  I had my last child at 41 and have also moved the end date of ttc to ? July 15 I'll be 43 that is probably it.  I was so hoping I'd be pg before the end of '14... we'll see

sonpetitlapin

Good Luck with the SA!  I agree, it is so easy to let our minds get away from us.  Wait for the the results from the SA, then you can address any concerns!!  It helps with that insanity thinking (I am so guilty of it) and unessarry stress!!  

stacylynnn

Thank for the advice ladies!  Now we are just struggling to wrangle is his test results from the facility.

gscoville

What's done is done, and while worrying about it is inevitable it's not going to change things. It does take about three months for sperm to develop, so the sperm he's ejaculating now would have been affected by whatever he was doing three months ago, certainly nothing you can do about that. Focus on the fact that you now knowing he should avoid the spa indefinitely while you TTC is something proactive you are doing to increase your chances, and even if his SA results come back poor you know that those numbers will only get better through the coming months. You don't have to 'back burner' TTC altogether, either, I don't quite understand that line of thinking - in the end it truly does take just one sperm to get through, you never know what can happen. A friend of my mom's years ago had her tubes tied after having four boys, got divorced, then at 41 met and married a guy who had had a vasectomy years before. Lo and behold, she ended up with another boy at 43. 

Truly OP, calm yourself and, as others have said, try not to obsess so much about age/deadlines, they're just arbitrary numbers in the end and will only stress you out.