lost a pet while having young kids?

chickaboo1974

In my GTKY post I mentioned that my old girl, Gracie, was diagnosed with cancer.  It has been about 2 weeks and I have come to accept it.  However, my boys are going to be 4.  Gracie has been a part of their lives from the day we brought them home from the NICU.  She has developed a very large tumor on her back/side.  They know it isn't right to have the bump, so they ask about it.  I told them it was a boo boo and she was very sick.  I selfishly am hoping that she passes one night in her sleep, but if  not then I do have a vet that makes house calls so she will be surrounded by things that she loves and is comfortable with if I have to make the call to stop her suffering.

If you have lost a pet, how did you explain it to your young children?  My boys love to run into the den (where she sleeps at night) in the morning to greet her and our other two beagles.  I am dreading the conversation because I will be heartbroken and crying myself.  

Cherryblossoms07

I am sorry to hear about Gracie!  I wish I knew the answer.  We have an elderly lab.  DD adores him!  Every morning she runs downstairs to give him his morning hug, a milk bone, and to let him out to the bathroom.  She is the first person to see him every morning.  I worry about her being the first to find him, but also how I will be able to handle it myself since he has been with me since before DH and I got married. 

DaisyZH

I'm so sorry about your dog.  I think you've done well preparing them by explaining about the bump and that she's sick.

I would look for a book at the library or amazon, they have some great kids books that explain death and even pet death in particular.  

I'm really sorry you're facing this, it's so hard to lose a pet.  Our cat passed nearly 3 years ago and we still miss her so much.

Ilumine

Books?

I am so sorry about it.  And I wish I had something to offer. I have been blessed in this regards, that we were able to live near a number of real working farms and petting zoos when DD was a baby going onto toddlerhood.  Plus Daddy takes her fishing and she has seen her "grandfather" bring back a deer from hunting.  

Asivec

There was a Sesame Street episode called "goodbye mr. Hooper". It was highly researched to choose the best wording and ideas to teach young children about the concept of death. Maybe that could help if you can find it somewhere. I can remember the episode and I think that's how my parents explained the passing of my grandpa.

Here's the wiki on it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Hooper#.22Death_of_Mr._Hooper.22

Guennie

Oh I'm so sorry you're going through this. It isn't fair that we outlive our pets. Big hugs to you for the loss you will soon face and the difficulty of explaining to such young kiddos.

One of the families I nannied for had to put their dog down when their daughter was 5. They talked to her about it beforehand and they had a really good book about losing a pet although I can't remember the name. It was hard for her and she cried but the book really helped. I like other posters' idea of finding a good book.

mylittlesunshine

Lurker here.

I am so sorry to hear about your pet. We had to put our dog down last spring. I have two girls (4 & 1 at the time). We were very open and honest to our girls about what was happening and I tried to answer any questions my (then 4 year old) daughter had at the time about death to the best of what she might understand. While we didn't have them present during her passing, we opted to bury her in our yard. My oldest was able to view her body and say her goodbyes. Like your children, she had known our dog since she was born and had a tight bond.

After her passing we cried together. I think it is ok to cry with your children... As long as you aren't going overboard in front of them. There is a book I saw at the library that I wish I would have seen around the time of her passing. I will try and look it up.

I really believe being honest about the whole process is best. My daughter had us tape pictures up of our dog and I always make myself available when she wants to talk about our dog and happened to her.