Well, this was quite a shitstorm. And it was all started because The Bumb decided that we needed to "officially" be called jerks.
Pro tip: If you've already sent your cronies to do your dirty work, don't wait until the dust settles to wave your authority in their face over the same issue. Because now YOU are the one starting shit.
Also, lol at the toddler comment. Pot, meet kettle.
amy052006 Do you deny repeatedly and publicly leveling a bigotry charge when specifically asked to use the reporting forum? Do you deny grinding an axe against another poster for their religious beliefs? Do you deny being specifically told that we do not report warnings of other posters to you or anyone else?
I told BumpMay not to humor this. I went to add an ETA to the post and somehow the message was highlighted and deleted. But here it is again, for you to fully see, understand, whatever.
@Rumbera28 I do not post often and usually only lurk. I have no particular loyalty to any poster. That being said I reported this public attack on Amy's character. You have no business being a mod after flinging this shit around.
@outnumbered the proper way to discuss a mod you feel has been unfair or has violated the Terms of Use is to email BumpMay: communitybump@xogrp.com.
If further discussion about ANY mod is brought up in this thread, I will close it immediately and you will receive an official warning regarding your disregard of my request above. This doesn't just apply to you, here today nor just to this situation. Any discussions about any poster or mod needs to be handled OFF the public board. You can PM another mod or BumpMay or, as I've said above, use the email address provided to you.
amy052006 Do you deny repeatedly and publicly leveling a bigotry charge when specifically asked to use the reporting forum? Do you deny grinding an axe against another poster for their religious beliefs? Do you deny being specifically told that we do not report warnings of other posters to you or anyone else?
I told BumpMay not to humor this. I went to add an ETA to the post and somehow the message was highlighted and deleted. But here it is again, for you to fully see, understand, whatever.
@Rumbera28 I do not post often and usually only lurk. I have no particular loyalty to any poster. That being said I reported this public attack on Amy's character. You have no business being a mod after flinging this shit around.
Really @PetraStonegirl I really do think that is awesome. I am glad somebody saw the logic there and could see the forrest through the trees. Thank you.
I'm glad I had the opportunity. What bothers me most about it, I explained this weekend in the Ask A Question thread. From what I see, the mod acted within the bounds of the TOU agreement (which they are supposed to do) and let an opinion go and reprimanded a statement of fact (exactly like they are supposed to) and the end result was just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It left everyone feeling squicked out, and rightfully so.
So, the TOU needs careful revision on that point. Hopefully now it will get it.
But in *this* post, there have been 2 statements (both on page 1 I believe, and I won't name names for obvious reasons) that when something is "true" it cannot be defamatory, and when something is "fact" it is not rude.
But then in the above quote we are told that according to TOU the statements of fact *should* be reprimanded.
So even it is agreed that the TOU need careful revision, if we need to play by the rules as they stand right now, clearly we are up to our eyeballs in confusion at ALL levels.
People are acting like idiots here, and it's not the lowly peons. The double standard here is ridiculous. We did use proper channels to report a heinous attack on a poster. The problem is no one cares because the person being reported is a moderator. Peace out people acting like bitches!
@outnumbered the proper way to discuss a mod you feel has been unfair or has violated the Terms of Use is to email BumpMay: communitybump@xogrp.com.
If further discussion about ANY mod is brought up in this thread, I will close it immediately and you will receive an official warning regarding your disregard of my request above. This doesn't just apply to you, here today nor just to this situation. Any discussions about any poster or mod needs to be handled OFF the public board. You can PM another mod or BumpMay or, as I've said above, use the email address provided to you.
amy052006 Do you deny repeatedly and publicly leveling a bigotry charge when specifically asked to use the reporting forum? Do you deny grinding an axe against another poster for their religious beliefs? Do you deny being specifically told that we do not report warnings of other posters to you or anyone else?
I told BumpMay not to humor this. I went to add an ETA to the post and somehow the message was highlighted and deleted. But here it is again, for you to fully see, understand, whatever.
@Rumbera28 I do not post often and usually only lurk. I have no particular loyalty to any poster. That being said I reported this public attack on Amy's character. You have no business being a mod after flinging this shit around.
So you can call out anyone but mods? Just trying to keep this straight. If mods do something totally agains TOS we are to email an address that is never answered?
A mod attacking amy like that is disgusting. Someone posts a gif saying to let it go and gets banned, meanwhile a person in a position of authority attacks a regular poster and youre going to say that it is not harassment? I understand being blunt but under the tou, you cant say everything that pops into your head (regs have been banned for less). But nice to see a total stranger sent to calm the situation come and directly attack someone when they are obviously entirely unfamiliar with the situation.
Gross.
A mod attacking amy like that is disgusting. Someone posts a gif saying to let it go and gets banned, meanwhile a person in a position of authority attacks a regular poster and youre going to say that it is not harassment? I understand being blunt but under the tou, you cant say everything that pops into your head (regs have been banned for less). But nice to see a total stranger sent to calm the situation come and directly attack someone when they are obviously entirely unfamiliar with the situation.
Gross.
All of this.
The way you guys handle this and continue to handle this is beyond stupid. Mods with sticks up their asses because they take their unpaid volunteer job WAY too seriously. Almost all of the mods over here need a bump cation. You guys are telling us what to do, telling us to use proper channels, but then attack regs. The mods on here (besides Petra, she's the only one that seems sane over here) are acting like a bunch of uppity bitches with their panties twisted so much so that they can't even think straight. Go ahead and ban me. There is nothing you guys will ever say that will convince me that you handled this situation with any finesse whatsoever. This is poorly mishandled all around and the mods are in a position of power over all the posters here and you guys have your version of what happened and we have ours. It's a difference of opinions and I have no desire to come back here.
So thanks..? It's been....interesting...that's for sure.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
amy052006 Do you deny repeatedly and publicly leveling a bigotry charge when specifically asked to use the reporting forum? Do you deny grinding an axe against another poster for their religious beliefs? Do you deny being specifically told that we do not report warnings of other posters to you or anyone else?
I told BumpMay not to humor this. I went to add an ETA to the post and somehow the message was highlighted and deleted. But here it is again, for you to fully see, understand, whatever.
You told bumpmay to ignore repeated requests to address hate speech? Cool. Im glad petra gives a shit about bigotry and brought it up because your comments are way over the line for a person in an authority position.
Well, my first post went all #modabuse and vanished (J/k...too soon?) so let's try this again.
What is your (collective SHAM posters) goal? What is the resolution? You have raised valid concerns about many topics in the past couple of weeks. Some may be fixable, some may not be. I don't have the authority to do anything about it, but I am interested in what might help everyone move forward. Hopefully someday this can be a bump urban legend like Irish Twins girl, Dolores, and cockasaurus.
For starters, the mods personally attacking regs in this thread shoukd be removed from their position. That was beyond unprofessional.
@loislayn In my opinion, Mandymack should step down and the recent bans should be reversed. I don't know if that would fix everything for everyone, but I think it would go a long way in restoring faith that we are valued. It's a pipe dream, I'm sure. And this wasn't meant to harass Mandymack either. I've never had issue with her until this all blew up. You asked and that is what I think should happen. Is that the goal of the responses in this thread? I won't speak for everyone.
@loislayn I speak for myself when I say this, the only reason I'm still here is to prove a point. AG never would've been banned if the bigot warnings hadn't got used against her. I want XO and the mods to recognize that hate speech is way more harmful than calling someone a bigot. At the very least, make them the same so that the person who is being called a bigot can't spew hate speech like an asshole *generalization here*.
The beef with MM is something that collectively the SAHMs just in general don't believe the bullshit. There is nothing that can change that as mods see it one way, we see it another. TB has been a place of great fun for me and connecting me with other moms. At this point, beyond trying to get this hate speech point across to mods and the workers of XO, I have no sense of community to this board. After I feel someone (a mod or employee) had heard out voices and will make the change that needs to happen, I will be done and have my account deleted if I'm not banned first.
TB shouldn't have a LBGT forum if you guys openly allow hate speech. It's bullshit, the members are calling bullshit, and we want mods and employees alike to notice this and either change the TOU or take down the LBGT forum. You can't pretend to supporting something and allow all types of families, but allow hate speech to be spewed at certain families. Whether or not you think that reporting hate speech will solve it, it hasn't and certain posters here have said rude things about gay people/gay families. You guys (again, generalization here) need to change it so it absolutely doesn't tolerate that whatsoever in any way shape or form.
If that happens out of all of this ginormous pile of bullshit, then I'll be happy. And I will take my ball and go to the place that shall not be named.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
Well, my first post went all #modabuse and vanished (J/k...too soon?) so let's try this again.
What is your (collective SHAM posters) goal? What is the resolution? You have raised valid concerns about many topics in the past couple of weeks. Some may be fixable, some may not be. I don't have the authority to do anything about it, but I am interested in what might help everyone move forward. Hopefully someday this can be a bump urban legend like Irish Twins girl, Dolores, and cockasaurus.
For starters, the mods personally attacking regs in this thread shoukd be removed from their position. That was beyond unprofessional.
This would be good as well, but certainly never going to happen.
However, XO needs to think about how it wants to be represented though and if said mods in this post and others have been representing the company with professionalism. I don't think actual employees would be happy with how their volunteer employees have been portraying them.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
I'm a long time reg on here, but I missed the original banning/exodus/shit storm b/c of Canadian Thanksgiving. I love all the regular posters on here and consider them friends, but hadn't moved over to their, ahem, new location because I felt loyal to TB (hey, it's been a pretty great 3 years). So, I've just been lurking, hoping my friendsies would come back and this would all blow over, as things tend to do in this place.
That was how I felt. What's gone down in the last few days, particularly in this thread, is craziness, people. Yes, some of the posters here have been in the wrong, that can't be debated. TB has handled this incredibly poorly, however, and as someone who wanted so much to stay, I feel really let down and frustrated. I KNOW some posters on here haven't acted like they should have, we get it, but the moderators should be impartial peacekeepers who all agree on what the rules are and how they should be enforced. People are butt hurt, yes, and keep going on and on about this, sure, but it's because the issues that initially upset them haven't been properly addressed yet, and in the process even more stuff has happened that is equally upsetting and confusing.
Getting another mod in here to help our current one was a great idea, and Petra was doing a great job this weekend. And, fine, maybe BumpMay's post wasn't necessary but we get what was meant by it. But having a bunch of random other mods who we don't know come in here with guns blazing and having already made up their minds about us wasn't appropriate and only served to further the hurt feelings and sense of confusion and frustration.
These ladies have been part of this board for years, and we've all gotten along really well. I've felt a wonderful sense of community and belonging here, and learned a lot from these women. We know and care for one another - they're great ladies. That it's over now really, really sucks ass. You've lost some awesome women. Sure, some people got carried away with the butt hurt, but it was handled so incredibly poorly on TB's end that it made everything seem justified.
We want to feel heard. We want just one, clear message about what is expected from us and what we can expect from you. We want an apology, dammit. We want someone to admit what we already all know - you messed up. We didn't handle it overly well, sure, but you messed up and you should handle it like the business you are and issue a formal apology. These women aren't shit stirrers or grudge holders or prone to any of the crap that has gone down here lately - they're lovely people who don't feel like you care about them or about what has happened to the beautiful community they had here.
I've made an account where they all are now, and will be posting there instead of here. Because I love those bitches.
Well, my first post went all #modabuse and vanished (J/k...too soon?) so let's try this again.
What is your (collective SHAM posters) goal? What is the resolution? You have raised valid concerns about many topics in the past couple of weeks. Some may be fixable, some may not be. I don't have the authority to do anything about it, but I am interested in what might help everyone move forward. Hopefully someday this can be a bump urban legend like Irish Twins girl, Dolores, and cockasaurus.
For starters, the mods personally attacking regs in this thread shoukd be removed from their position. That was beyond unprofessional.
This would be good as well, but certainly never going to happen.
However, XO needs to think about how it wants to be represented though and if said mods in this post and others have been representing the company with professionalism. I don't think actual employees would be happy with how their volunteer employees have been portraying them.
No, it wont happen. They wouldnt even get rid of the pedo-lover (yeah i used nanda's term, your deletions have no effect on me).
@BumpMay if you would delete mine as well, that would be wonderful.
I've tried to make my point and I think I've said everything that needs to be said. If XO doesn't figure it out, then it's on them because I can't spell this out any clearer.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
For starters, I think MandyMack should be remove as moderator. I don't care who the new moderator is, but Mandy is at the center of all of this drama. Had she been around and stepped in during the original issue then this situation would not have spiraled out of control. Posters have said she spent time PMing them and fueling the fire but at no time during that did she speak up on the board so that everyone knew she was aware of what was going on. She is not above reproach and should be held to a higher standard as moderator.
I'm a reg, using a different account since I asked for my main one to be deleted.
I personally want MM removed. NOT because I hate her, not because I am a grudge holding bitch, but because she so clearly represents everything that is wrong with this board. She is the center of this mess. How long are all the mods going to babysit her board? How long is XO going to protect her. I can *almost* promise you that if she would be removed the storm would calm down. It would go a long way to show faith that XO hears it users. Are they really prepared to have a board that doesn't function as more than a place for yelling, AEs and general non sense? For how long? It just doesn't make sense. Notice how banning regs haven't calmed down anything. Anyone interested in trying another approach?
As an aside- all of this could have been avoided. All of it. If someone (not using names) noticed the co mod voting poll, realized that wasn't how it should be done that someone should have spoken up. Someone should have said, "hey guys, this is the right protocol, let me help you do it the right way". Instead all we got was a sorry, my bad, not happening. If the reason was that the 2 top people wouldn't pass the mod test, someone could have said, "hey guys, your top 2 aren't going to cut it. Vote again or I will assign someone to you". Instead we got a lecture about hurt feelings. Whatever.
This was never an attack on MM. NEVER!!! I don't know how else to say that. We weren't trying to replace her. It started because another mod came in modding us and we didn't like it. We would have complained to our mod, but she was not around. Which fine, she doesn't have to be here all the time. 3 hour requirement and all that jazz. BUT we thought it smart to find another person to help in her absence. That's all. Nothing more. All the mud being throw around in her direction is a direct response to her lack of leadership/helping us/answer questions. She left us out to dry because her feelings were hurt. Not cool. Not mod material, IMO.
@loislayn In my opinion, Mandymack should step down and the recent bans should be reversed. I don't know if that would fix everything for everyone, but I think it would go a long way in restoring faith that we are valued. It's a pipe dream, I'm sure. And this wasn't meant to harass Mandymack either. I've never had issue with her until this all blew up. You asked and that is what I think should happen. Is that the goal of the responses in this thread? I won't speak for everyone.
They already said that the idea of SAHMB getting a new mod was discussed and dismissed. MM will stay on as mod.
So comments with no TOU violations are just going to be deleted at will? Im more than positive I didn't write anything that was against the rules but my comment appears to be gone now.
So comments with no TOU violations are just going to be deleted at will? Im more than positive I didn't write anything that was against the rules but my comments appears to be gone now.
Re: Updates
Pro tip: If you've already sent your cronies to do your dirty work, don't wait until the dust settles to wave your authority in their face over the same issue. Because now YOU are the one starting shit.
Also, lol at the toddler comment. Pot, meet kettle.
If further discussion about ANY mod is brought up in this thread, I will close it immediately and you will receive an official warning regarding your disregard of my request above. This doesn't just apply to you, here today nor just to this situation. Any discussions about any poster or mod needs to be handled OFF the public board. You can PM another mod or BumpMay or, as I've said above, use the email address provided to you.
Thank you.
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
But then in the above quote we are told that according to TOU the statements of fact *should* be reprimanded.
So even it is agreed that the TOU need careful revision, if we need to play by the rules as they stand right now, clearly we are up to our eyeballs in confusion at ALL levels.
So you can call out anyone but mods? Just trying to keep this straight. If mods do something totally agains TOS we are to email an address that is never answered?
The way you guys handle this and continue to handle this is beyond stupid. Mods with sticks up their asses because they take their unpaid volunteer job WAY too seriously. Almost all of the mods over here need a bump cation. You guys are telling us what to do, telling us to use proper channels, but then attack regs. The mods on here (besides Petra, she's the only one that seems sane over here) are acting like a bunch of uppity bitches with their panties twisted so much so that they can't even think straight. Go ahead and ban me. There is nothing you guys will ever say that will convince me that you handled this situation with any finesse whatsoever. This is poorly mishandled all around and the mods are in a position of power over all the posters here and you guys have your version of what happened and we have ours. It's a difference of opinions and I have no desire to come back here.
So thanks..? It's been....interesting...that's for sure.
BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013
The beef with MM is something that collectively the SAHMs just in general don't believe the bullshit. There is nothing that can change that as mods see it one way, we see it another. TB has been a place of great fun for me and connecting me with other moms. At this point, beyond trying to get this hate speech point across to mods and the workers of XO, I have no sense of community to this board. After I feel someone (a mod or employee) had heard out voices and will make the change that needs to happen, I will be done and have my account deleted if I'm not banned first.
TB shouldn't have a LBGT forum if you guys openly allow hate speech. It's bullshit, the members are calling bullshit, and we want mods and employees alike to notice this and either change the TOU or take down the LBGT forum. You can't pretend to supporting something and allow all types of families, but allow hate speech to be spewed at certain families. Whether or not you think that reporting hate speech will solve it, it hasn't and certain posters here have said rude things about gay people/gay families. You guys (again, generalization here) need to change it so it absolutely doesn't tolerate that whatsoever in any way shape or form.
If that happens out of all of this ginormous pile of bullshit, then I'll be happy. And I will take my ball and go to the place that shall not be named.
However, XO needs to think about how it wants to be represented though and if said mods in this post and others have been representing the company with professionalism. I don't think actual employees would be happy with how their volunteer employees have been portraying them.
I've tried to make my point and I think I've said everything that needs to be said. If XO doesn't figure it out, then it's on them because I can't spell this out any clearer.
Yep, and that is unfortunate.
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013