@Davies813

TAT2MAMI

Thinking of you and hoping your betas come back perfect! Please update when you can!!!!

Davie813

It's...not looking that great.  Beta #2 was 33.  The nurse said they were looking for it to be at least 30 today, so I guess the issue is that's it's just kind of borderline?  Also, my progesterone was low (11).  Anyway, she said it could go either way at this point, but that they're also worried about an ectopic.  So I'm supposed to increase my crinone to 2x/day, call them immediately if I have symptoms of an ectopic, and avoid sex and lifting heavy objects.  I feel awesome about doing both of those things yesterday, now...  

I'm supposed to come in for another beta Wednesday afternoon, which raises the question of what to tell my boss. 

And now I know why they call it beta hell.

ETA, thanks for thinking of me, @TAT2MAMI!  I appreciate it!

WinoGrrl

hugs @davie813

tmorash

@davie813 I guess just above the borderline is more hopeful that below it, though? Just trying to look on the brighter side I guess. And don't beat yourself up about anything you did yesterday -- you weren't to know. Big hugs.

URMySunshine77

I'm sorry that the betas weren't as high as you had hoped. Keep positive. 

I hope that your boss is flexible with you and that you can keep the reason for the office visits elusive. XO

tlc35

I'm sorry you are in beta hell.  We are thinking of you.

wannabmama23

Sorry for the added stress. Sending good thoughts!

CML11

Thinking of you, I was hoping for great news for you today! Big hugs!

Davie813

Thanks, all.  I know I should try to stay positive.  On one hand, this might only be 14 DPO (not totally clear when I actually started/finished ovulating, but per trigger shot timing it should be 14 DPO), so a beta of 33 just doesn't seem that bad.  And the 41 hr doubling time (I calculated it) seems respectable. 

On the other hand, the nurse I talked to was really negative, so I feel crappy.  What she actually said was "well, it went up, but it didn't go up like it should have.  We would have wanted to see at least 30, and it's 33."  Huh?  Then she started listing ectopic symptoms.  But I am worried that the low progesterone (after a BFP on a medicated cycle) indicates something wrong with the embryo. 

On the other other hand, the Doctor said Ganirelix has a tendency to do that to you.  So I don't know....

I know the nurses need to be measured in what they tell people to avoid false encouragement, but--geez, lady.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent; you all are the best!

hooligans4

You had a 41 hour doubling time and that's awesome!!!!!
I thought vaginal progesterone doesn't show up in blood tests???? I could be wrong but as long as you are taking your progesterone you should be ok.

Think positive.
Your baby is fine and snugging in nice right now.

When your betas double nicely in two days you will feel better.

I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.

flyliceandcoffee

I say ignore the damn nurse and focus on the fact that you did in fact double! Besides, I bet that nurse is just bitter she didn't make it to medical school and isn't the doctor. (Not that all nurses are that way, just this one)

Radiantly

Hugs and prayers!

CML11

Focus on the positive...your over 30. You are higher than where you need to be. Sending some good positive vibes your way!!

kindershlitz

Good luck on Wednesday! I don't know much about numbers but I know 33>30!

lcwed

Hugs for the uncertainty.  FX your numbers continue to double.

obscurereference

FX for you and more doubling betas!

emsmama15

Fingers crossed. Like others said, it was over 30!

wvarn

FX and good luck and wishes for those Betas to rise. 

meredithcarole

Thinking of you. FX for good numbers on Wednesday.

WinoGrrl

Hugs!!!

Davie813

Thanks, everyone.  I've been doing exhaustive Internet research, and it really doesn't look like this is going to end well. 

Now I'm just hoping it's not an ectopic and that things are resolved sooner rather than later.  I've been taking HPTs religiously, and as of this morning the lines are looking a little lighter rather than darker, so I think it will be. 

I'm sad, but I keep reminding myself that experiencing a chemical pregnancy now is at least not as bad as having it draw out and ending up with a later loss or worse.  Also, I found this while I was searching last night, and while I know many don't find it a comforting idea, I do:

"If a chemical pregnancy occurs after an in vitro fertilization cycle (IVF) or an intra-uterine insemination cycle (IUI), it can be a good sign. Keep in mind that assisted reproductive technologies can only give you the opportunity to get pregnant. Whether or not implantation and pregnancy occur are up to the body’s and the embryo’s natural processes. We do not have the technology to make that happen. It has to happen on its own. So the fact that those processes occurred is always a very good sign. It is for this reason that we draw our bHCG’s earlier than most clinics in order to see if the patient has a chemical pregnancy. If the patient has had a chemical pregnancy there is a high likelihood that she will achieve pregnancy eventually."

(Formatting theirs, full link here.)

While I would obviously be ecstatic if a miracle occurred and this was a viable pregnancy (and I'm still taking my progesterone just in case), I'm prepared and ready to move on to the next cycle.  I'm definitely prepared not to be heading out to the suburbs for blood draws every other day.  I have a job (other than obsessive Googling) and I need to be here to do it!

Anyway, thank you all so much for your kind words and good vibes.  It really helps a lot! :x

Davie813

hooligans4 said:

You had a 41 hour doubling time and that's awesome!!!!! I thought vaginal progesterone doesn't show up in blood tests???? I could be wrong but as long as you are taking your progesterone you should be ok. Think positive. Your baby is fine and snugging in nice right now. When your betas double nicely in two days you will feel better. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.

You are right, but they feel that on a medicated cycle I should have progesterone levels above 15 on my own, not counting whatever I'm getting from the suppository. 

Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts.  I'm glad you are!

Davie813

b0710 said:

I have never experienced this myself....but my math minor tells me that if you are supposed to be at 30, and you are at 33 that is a positive change!  Maybe that nurse has the common problem of word vomit.  I hope that your betas continue to rise and your little bean continues to grow!

After doing more research, I think the issue is that 30 would have been the baseline for a 48-hour doubling time.  But with such low starting numbers, a 48-hour doubling time (at the beginning) doesn't indicate a viable pregnancy or allow the HCG to get where it should be in a timely fashion.  Doubling times for really low first betas that turn out OK seem to be more like 24 hours.  Then, as the betas rise, doubling time slows.

URMySunshine77

@Davie813: I respect and admire your optimism in the face of this waiting period. 

tlc35

I'm sorry, limbo sucks.  I am thinking of you.

SillySally24

Thinking of you and hoping for a good Beta #3.  

meredithcarole

I'm sorry you're in Beta Hell.  I really hope you're research isn't right and that tomorrow's draw shows a good jump.  

I'm not well versed in ectopic pregnancies, why do they think it might be?  From the limited research I did on it, it seems like they normally start out very similar to regular pregnancies as most aren't caught until further along.  

kindershlitz

You have a great outlook.  Sending you positive vibes as well.

Davie813

meredithcarole said:

I'm sorry you're in Beta Hell.  I really hope you're research isn't right and that tomorrow's draw shows a good jump.  

I'm not well versed in ectopic pregnancies, why do they think it might be?  From the limited research I did on it, it seems like they normally start out very similar to regular pregnancies as most aren't caught until further along.  

Thanks!  They're worried because of the low betas, which are associated with ectopic pregnancies.  Apparently both AMA and conceiving via fertility treatment are, too. 

I think most ectopics aren't caught until later because most women don't have beta tests.  I didn't see my OB when I was pregnant with DD until the first ultrasound at ~7 weeks.  If I didn't know about the low beta numbers, I wouldn't suspect that anything was amiss with this one, so I wouldn't have seen a doctor this time either.

TAT2MAMI

@Davies813 - I agree with others that you have an awesome attitude about this. Sending you big hugs!!

lcwed

Sending you hugs and still hoping you get a miracle.

wvarn

Love your optimism @Davies813 hoping for a rise with next draw.  Keeping you in my thoughts. 

wannabmama23

Thinking of you. I hope there's happy news for you soon!

sonpetitlapin

@davis813 Good luck today!  You are in my thoughts!  FX for great beta numbers today!

meredithcarole

Yes, good luck. I hope it's a nice strong beta.

emsmama15

Good luck @Davie813!  My fingers are crossed for a strong beta today!

verdongirl

Almost! Xo

kindershlitz

Thinking of you today!

tmorash

All my digits are crossed for you today @Davie813!

Lesliem0901

Hey lady. @Davie813 - You are in my thoughts...I sure have missed reading your posts and hope your next one is good news!

Davie813

Thanks, everyone.  Your support means a lot!

I just had the blood draw, and should get the results tonight.  I'm getting some spotting, which could be the progesterone, but probably...isn't.  But based on hpt darkening, I'm expecting them to come in at just about double what they were Monday--still very poor outlook, but just enough to keep this whole process dragging on.  Grrrrr.

Side rant: I honestly think that interacting with people is the worst part of this.  I feel like the staff at the RE's feels sorry for me right now.  I hate waiting for the phone calls.  I feel embarrassed about needing fertility treatment in the first place (and yes, I do know how incredibly stupid that is).  I'll feel embarrassed if I get upset when I get the news, and embarrassed for holding on to hope when they (OK, and I) knew better all along.  And then I'll feel more embarrassed for making whoever calls me uncomfortable.  We'll all be embarrassed and miserable and I want my dignity back and why, oh why, can't they invest in some sort of online portal?

End rant.  Thanks so much for letting me vent!