My belly is giving me away, but I'm too paranoid to announce...

ladyteach0505

People at work are starting to notice my stomach and ask my friend at work if my IVF worked. (Everyone knew about it thanks to one gossipy person.) I am 13 weeks now and really excited about my belly, but as I'm sitting here Pinteresting pregnancy announcements I feel like a nervous wreck- like I'm going to announce it only to have to unannounce it. When did you announce? How do you cope with this "other shoe dropping" fear?

Pintobean39

I will announce once I reach my loss milestones, which could be 11 weeks. I had a loss at 14 weeks but I never got a hb on the Doppler. So once I go to the Dr and get to hear the hb then I'll let my guard down.

I'm not doing announcements or even putting it on FB because it's not my style. I have already told some close family and a few friends. I'll just tell a few more friends and give everyone the ok to talk about it.

dp21

I announced at work around 12 weeks (to everyone), but I'm a nurse and can't take certain pts etc.  Some people knew I went through IVF, needed support from co-workers but they didn't tell anyone and kept my secret of being pregnant for weeks.  The charge nurses knew as soon as I was pregnant because I wasn't going to take the risk of getting something from work and my manager knew because I needed Easter day off to do egg retrieval.

We did announcement photos around 17 weeks and announcement on fb the day of our anatomy scan and sent out announcement cards.  My co-workers were great and didn't let anything slip on facebook.

pblge

Only a few people at work know, and I have no immediate plans to change that. Maybe after the a/s? I'm going to have to dress carefully for a while to not give it away, but I don't care if people think I'm just getting fat. I'm very happy that I made it through last night's gathering of work people without the truth coming out, although I'm sure some of them wondered why I wasn't drinking.

southernyankeegirl

I pushed myself to tell early. I realized that I wasn't celebrating the pregnancy as much as i wanted because I was so nervous, and that if I miscarried I'd still be open about it (I am an extrovert who celebrates and suffers best with support). I also realized that telling people wasn't going to jinx anything. So I told, and it was great!

ladyteach0505

Good points. I suppose I figure at this point the people I'm close to know and then there's everyone else. But as someone else mentioned, by not talking about it I feel like I'm holding myself back from being excited. It's a catch 22- you can't have it both ways. I do have a doppler, which I'm sort of paranoid to use even though the OB said it's fine, and was able to get the HB yesterday at 151, so that was pretty reassuring.

Hmmm

hopeby2015

Sometimes you just need to fake it till you make it! I know it's easier said then done but at this point for you - you're pretty much in 2nd tri and there's a very good chance nothing bad will happen. I was still nervous to say anything even at 16w, let alone 14w but my boss needed to know to make arrangements and my mom couldon't contain herself. So the cat was outta the bag at 14w. Sometimes, you gotta hold your breath and just dive in trusting your doing the right thing. GL!

ladyteach0505

thanks @IFinTN‌ !

runawaylaurel

I told at work at 13 weeks after a midwife appt where we heard a nice heartbeat. I had gained some IVF weight that I carried mostly in my tummy. My coworkers all said something along the lines of "we were wondering why you gained weight!" which stung (stupid body image issues), but sharing my excitement with my work family (I work with my husband AND my dad!) was great. 

intheplanningstage

There's no right or wrong answer of when you should tell. I had one loss at 5 weeks and had only told people who knew we were doing IVF (family and close friends). Then, I had a loss at 8 weeks and had told the same amount of people. After that, I went public on facebook about infertility and miscarriage awareness-I had to acknowledge the babies I lost. Therefore, with this pregnancy, I decided to tell people after our first sonogram (7.5 weeks). I decided that if, God forbid, I lose another child, I wont' keep it a secret. He/she would have existed and I would have shared my struggle, just like I did before. It was liberating and so much easier than people asking questions having no idea what we were going through. But I think it's a very personal decision. Just know that saying/not saying anything won't "jinx" you. Enjoy every second

chucktgirl

Oh wow. We finally told our parents at 15 weeks, after a perfect NT scan. We JUST started telling our closest friends & family at 19wks, after a perfect anatomy scan. Yes, I'm starting to show a little bump, but that's no one's business. I will not be announcing at all. Not on FB, not at work, not via mailed postcards. Those who need to know will be told and those who don't need to know can guess it when it's obvious!