1st Trimester

I don't know how to handle this situation. ..

I am pregnant w number 2 and happy about it, but not excited. With my son we had tried for a long time and on cloud 9 when I got my BFP. This time around I'm more or less feeling "meh" about everything. I just hate pregnancy. I know a lot has to do with hormones and the fact I feel like crap. Anyway, we told our families last when week and since then I've pretty much avoided everyone. Except last night we saw his parents and all I heard was "how do you feel" "you look tired" "aren't you so excited for 2 kids?" "Have you thrown up" "do you want a boy or girl? You should want a boy because they are easier" "what names have you picked out?". Errrrrr I know they are not mean questions or comments but I just don't feel like discussing my pregnancy right now. The only thing I can think to do is keep my distance. My husband knows how I am feeling and he just tells them I'm not feeling well, but I know know I can't hide the whole time. I also don't feel like it's any of their business to know how I am feeling about being pregnant. Am I wrong/how would you handle if you were in my shoes?

Re: I don't know how to handle this situation. ..

  • The novelty wears off with the second and even more so with the third. I think what you're feeling is completely normal. For some, pregnancy is awful. Just focus on the end result, which is a beautiful addition to your family and remember pregnancy is temporary.
  • I don't enjoy talking about my pregnancy so I bean dip. Example: are you wanting a boy or a girl? Me: I haven't thought about it, hey this bean dip is really good, have you tried it? Or have you seen that new movie? Ect ect works like a charm
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  • I'm dealing with similar. I'm not an emotional person with my family and never have been. Or with my husbands family. I get really put off when I get asked when my appointments are and how they went. Baby is still alive, I peed in a cup and answered the standard questions. And once we found out it was a girl (which I'm over the moon about!!) my MIL called and was all "OMG!!!" And then proceeded to call my aunt and complain about how Unexcited I sounded. My husband shut that shit down fast.

    I just change the subject or give quick answers. I'm sure it doesn't make much sense why I'm so open with my friends and strangers and not my family. You're not alone in your feelings.
  • dojo1dojo1 member
    edited October 2014
    I agree with PP, the novelty definitely wears off.  And you have a rough idea of what's in store for you so you may be dreading the worst.  On top of all that you have the added responsibility of another LO whose needs do not stop just because you're not feeling up to it.  It's ok to not be excited.  It's ok to feel differently about this pregnancy than you did the first time around - we readily accept that our pregnancies can feel differently and that our children will be different from one and other, so we should also recognize that our feelings towards the pregnancies can be different too.  

    I have no experience with depression, but if it is a concern for you, even a niggling thought in the back of your mind, I encourage you to speak with your DH and your family doc/ob/midwife. 

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