~ Loss Check-In ~

CherryPicked

Hi ladies, I hope you have been kind to yourselves this week.

Welcome to the check-in! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support?

mrslucid

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Still seeing the grief counselor once a week which helps.  Got a memorial tattoo last night for Ava.  My husband is talking about getting one too, would be his first.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Just trying to make it through the holidays without losing it.  Ava's school had their annual Halloween costume party yesterday.  We live right down the street so it was impossible not to notice it was going on and she isn't here to participate.

QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support?

My parents and SIL have been the greatest support.  We just spent  a week up north visiting my parents. 

Littleowl913

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? DH and I just came back from Vegas. It was nice to get away and relax. The trip allowed ourselves to just have fun and not be consumed with grief. What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still need to lower my blood pressure. I'm pretty sure Vegas did not help. I know I have to be stricter with my low sodium diet so I planned out my dinners for the week and bought low sodium products . QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support? Definitely DH. He's my rock even though he's just as devastated over the loss of our baby Ronin.

shandorfml2

***siggy warning

hi ladies ((hugs)) to those who need them

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I don't think any specific steps, but I do feel like I am dealing with things...working through something. Not sure how else to describe it. Lots of dreams and random thoughts of Ana. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Hmm. Thinking about the holidays. 

QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support? my husband and my Mom

Maybe Joleisa

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

To put together memory cabinets with Anthony & Benjamin's crocheted gowns, hats, blankets, birth cards, pictures, etc....  My excuse/barrier right now is time. I'm working a lot of hours covering a vacant position and lack time to think about what I want it to look like. I'm also a horrible decorator, so something this important I don't want to rush/half-a$$.
QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support?

While DH has been very supportive, what I'm about to say might sound ridiculous. My sweet dog **see siggy** has rescued ME from the loss of both grandparents, my mom, a mm/c and the loss of my boys. 

**sad story alert** 

She is such a sweet love bug, has helped me through so much grief and now I am losing her. She started acting odd last Sunday; fast forward to 3 vet visits, 1 doggie neurologist appointment and an MRI all this past week and yesterday we were told she has 2 inoperable brain tumors. She is not even 7 yo, so we weren't quite prepared for this devastating news.

stefuge

@Maybe Joleisa‌ - I'm so sorry for the awful news about your dog. I have had to say goodbye to pets in the past and it is awful. My kitties have been such a huge support for me this past year, I can't even imagine having to lose one of them, and I'm so sorry you are going through this. ((Hugs)).

msunshine123

@Maybe Joleisa - I am so very sorry to hear about your dog. So many hugs to you during this time.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We attended a conference on Grief with a workshop on "how to survive the holidays after a loss." It was really informative and it got my husband and I talking about what our plan will be so that we can survive this year.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We are still meeting with our counselor and support groups, but other than those no other new plans on the horizon. I saw a few workshops for "writing, music and mediation for grief" so I plan to look into those more possibly after the holidays.

QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support?
My husband. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have him here with me and us going through this together.

CherryPicked

@mrslucid - I would love to see a picture of your tattoo for Ava!  What a special way to honor her.

@Littleowl913 - A trip to Vegas sounds like a great getaway. My DH and I are thinking about taking a long weekend around the holidays to get away.

@shandorfml2 - I'm glad that you've had visits from Ana in your dreams : )

@Maybe Joleisa - I'm so sorry that your dog is sick.  Animals are part of the family.  ((hugs))

@msunshine123 - That conference sounds amazing.  Any nuggets of wisdom from it?  I do not know how to handle the upcoming holidays.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

I've survived another month without Caroline.  She would have been 7 months old on Sunday.  I can't believe how fast time is going, yet how slow it's going.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

I am still working on getting healthy and have been eating better.  Trying to keep it up!

QOTW: Who or what has been your greatest source of support?

Definitely DH.

msunshine123

@kderoy - the biggest thing was to give yourself permission to do things differently and really whatever way you need. Just because you do things one way this year doesn't mean you have to do it the same way next year or the same way you did last year. They also suggested incorporating your child into the holiday in a special way. Another thing was to plan ahead - try to give yourself down time for yourself and plan an exit strategy if you are going somewhere.

mrslucid

@kderoy 

CherryPicked

@msunshine123 - Thank you for sharing!  I think time alone and an exit strategy is going to be key for me.

@mrslucid - That is incredibly beautiful and so special.  I love the words "living love" - such a perfect way to describe your ongoing love for Ava.

shandorfml2

msunshine123 said:

@kderoy - the biggest thing was to give yourself permission to do things differently and really whatever way you need. Just because you do things one way this year doesn't mean you have to do it the same way next year or the same way you did last year. They also suggested incorporating your child into the holiday in a special way. Another thing was to plan ahead - try to give yourself down time for yourself and plan an exit strategy if you are going somewhere.

We really used this advice last year about doing something different at holidays. We switched up where we went for thanksgiving, and christmas. We included Ana by buying her an ordiment and lighting candles for her.