Daycare & Your Desired Routine/Methods

cachoque

We start at a daycare/preK center mid November. LO is 11.5w now & will be 15w then. I'll be honest, we interviewed them months ago when LO was just a twinkle in my eye & other than the communication on confirming dates, I haven't bothered to discuss much about LOs routine with them. It's on my to-do list to inquire about a re-introduction or orientation of sorts before we start.

But all the recent threads about routines, timing of feeds, timing of naps, hunger cues, sleep cues, we all know it goes on and on! It's got me thinking a lot about how I'm about to NOT be in control of these things for the entire day!

So what have your conversations been like with your DC providers on routines & such? What should I expect, request, or perhap demand?

I just feel like I actually get it all now all of a sudden and can have an actual informed decision/conversation on what I hope my LO will experience.

Lastly, regarding the time I DO have complete control over - evening & MOTN - I'm not sure if I should consider things like sleep training until I fully understand how the routines at DC will affect LO. Or in your opinion does it not matter - go with what I want to try regardless?

I don't know, am I overthinking all of this?

Would love some DC insights/experiences from others!

SoSayWeAll

Following because I have no idea what to expect as a FTM. My plan is to make sure that he is going to be fed on demand. The rest of the routine I am fine with whatever works and will do my best to replicate when he is home with me.

Vieve831

With DS1 his night time habits changed a lot when he started DCP - at first he started sleeping better, then worse. Of course the timing coincided with the 4mw so who knows! Anyway - I figure it's pointless to try to establish a sleep routine before dcp starts since it will probably change. As far as a daytime routine I think it's more about learning the routine at DCP vs them adopting your LO's routine. I think a lot of them say they are baby-led but in reality they only have so many staff to a lot of babies so "baby-led" to them means something different than "baby-led" to mom.

CanadianintheSouth

Mine started daycare last Wednesday and she now sleeps for an 8 hour stretch at night! But I had no demands other than feed her when she is hungry, and they are great about keeping my updated throughout the day and she seems to be adjusted well.

Stephy129

With the daycare our oldest went to we didn't get to dictate what happened at daycare. They were amazing but I couldn't expect them to follow our schedule and take care of other babies who all wanted to follow a different schedule. They are limited in what they can do. We kept our night routine the same though.

With this LO I have very little control over his days since he has visits during the week and the times always change. I just shoot to keep the routine from 4 to bedtime the same each day and he does alright. Some days are hard but for the most part he is good. I just try not to stress about what I can't control.

ETA: clarify words and add that my first paragraph sounds mean but it isn't meant to be.

MC03

My advice from having DD1 in daycare the past few years is to be as flexible as possible and just go with the flow. Things for the most part fall into place.

However, that being said, decide if there is anything that is really really important to you and don't be afraid to express that to daycare. Example, with DD1 I was really afraid she would be hungry so I sent extra milk and some formula for emergencies. However they fell into the classic trap of over feeding a bf baby and fed her way too much (DD1 was home with DH for 7 weeks before she started so we knew how much she ate and they fed her way way more). I got really upset and didn't express my feelings and let them bottle up to the point where I almost pulled her out.

Finally I got up the courage to talk to her. I gave her a handout on bottle feeding breastfed babies and told her I really didn't think she needed more milk than I gave her and even if she did only a little more. She was so nice and receptive and really respected my wishes. We have had a wonderful relationship since then. Sorry to be so long winded, just wanted to give my experience. Be flexible but don't be afraid to speak up if you think something really really matters.

shevaCC

I learned with DD that I'm way too opinionated to have an infant in daycare. We're paying a small fortune to get a nanny this time around, at least until DS is a toddler.

I
had to teach them several times about bottle feeding a BF baby. DD only ever took 20-30 minute naps unless in a stroller which they tried to fix by sleep training her there without consulting me. It's not a bad place overall and they did take good care of her in spite of those few incidents.

I generally stayed as informed as I could about her time there and spoke up quite often. I figured that I was paying them a lot so they could listen to me politely express my opinion when it differed from their standard procedure.

kimberlybethh

They only things I really communicated to the daycare provider was how often they were supposed to eat and to try to get them down for a nap if they have been awake 2+ hours. They have their own routine so we have tried to copy that at home. We got a really specific communication log with dd about when she ate, what she did that day, # of dirty/wet diapers, etc. With our current daycare, I just ask the provider about how much he ate and how much he slept.

I think its helpful to remember that regardless of how fabulous the daycare you picked is, they aren't going to do things exactly the way you do and most of the time that's okay. I learned a lot from our first daycare provider about developmental things to look for at different stages, signs of illness, etc. I really valued their advice since they spent a significant amount of time with dd and had been doing daycare so long.

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courtniko

We have always done everything on demand with DD, no attempts what so ever to put her on any type of schedule. This is her 4th week in daycare, and they really do seem to let everything be on demand as well. I get a detailed log of when she slept, ate and diaper changes everyday. On the same sheet, when we drop her off in the morning there are spaces to specify specific time requests for things if you have them (like what time you want her to eat). Luckily there are a lot of BF babies there, so that is not something that they are not used to.
And just as a note, even with always being on demand, DD has somewhat set her own schedule, is usually asleep for 6 to 8 hours straight at night starting around 9pm. This is not totally consistent, but sometimes not trying to put them on a schedule can work out really well.
There were no noticeable changes in her routine once she started at daycare.

mustangchick6504

I was wondering the same things. DS has never really had too much of a schedule and they have a schedule at DC. So Im wondering if I should follow that the three days he is home? I really want him to get on a schedule to go to bed earlier. Right now I'm lucky if its before midnight...

Venus04

Mine started daycare this week. I thought I'd have all these request, but honestly, the babies there all seem so happy every day and she sleeps wonderfully at night, and she's always fed and diapered no matter when I pick her up, that I now just trust them. They generally do a nap / bottle / play schedule and send home a sheet that says when they did what. I mean, they've been taking care of babies a lot longer than I have, so I trust them to do their job the same way I do mine.

BabyM82714

I just hand off the baby and her bottles and let them do the work. Until the babies are 1 they don't enforce a nap or lunch schedule at daycare. So infantroom is pretty on demand there. Although its a pattern that generally when iI get to daycare at 2:30 to pick up LO most others are napping and she either is or just woke up. She is the youngest though and the other babies are mostly 5-9 months so they have more set nap times.

shevaCC

@mustangchick6504‌, depends on the kid. DD was always a terrible sleeper (still is) so it didn't matter to her that we didn't follow daycare's schedule. Honestly I think most babies learn early that different people do things differently and that's ok. Whether mom versus Dad or daycare versus home most babies do fine with variations in their weekend/weekday routine.