Temper Tantrums

jamizipp

Help! My 20 month old is having horrible temper tantrums the second he wakes up or the second he comes home from daycare. For example, this morning I went in his room at 5:50 to get him when he was crying and he sat down and yelled "no!" He flailed around when I was changing his diaper and he just wanted to run to the pantry for food. I gave him food, but when he saw me shut the pantry he started screaming and crying again for no reason.

He doesn't react to a swat on the butt, and I can't talk to him to calm him down. He just screams louder.

Any advice?

bcbuzzafsu

I talk in a low voice so he has to stop screaming to hear me.  Sometimes he just wants to be held.  Other times I just stare at him with a funny face.  Tickling usually breaks the tantrum too.

BluepointToasted

IamInigoMontoya said:

"Why don't you let me know when you're feeling better and can tell me what's wrong." 

This is pretty much the phrasing I use to. I either walk away or plunk him on the couch, and tell him to let me know when he feels better and we can talk. Eventually he stops crying and tells me he feels better and asks for whatever he wants. My DS is a little older than yours, but I started this probably when he was your age. Find something and be consistent. It doesn't eliminate the tantrums, but for us at least it does shorten the duration

MrsT0514

Just chiming in to say @CtGirl30 I love the idea of taking time to reconnect upon arriving home for the evening. This is something I sometimes forget to do, even though I'm home with DS all day...I someetimes forget to slow down a bit and just sit and be present. I'm trying to focus on not always being preoccupied with something else. Sometimes him and I need to just sit and be together in the moment.

bumpuser9058414

No butt swatting...is he getting enough sleep? My daughter acts like that when she's overtired. 

tbmadeamistake

I ignore mine when she gets like that. I've tried all the things (not swatting) and giving her any attention makes it worse. If I ignore it she'll generally calm down faster and come for a hug.

SpaceGirlSpiff

I was going to ask about how much sleep he gets too? My DS is an absolute beast if he's overtired ... maybe try a little bit earlier bedtime?

And yeah... swatting is not effective in this case or at that age.

Usually when my toddler is in all out tantrum mode I walk away or just go about my business calmly and quietly until he calms down some...it ends quicker when he sees he's not getting a reaction out of me

SpaceGirlSpiff

Definitely true that each kid is different. There is no blanket cure for this

Except for not swatting...that's pretty universal I'd say.