Sensitivity Question

Wake_Life

My boss and I have both been TTC. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago but she miscarried last week. This is her 5th miscarriage. She's been pretty down in the dumps and will be seeing a Fertility Specialist soon. I just found out I was pregnant and now I feel like I shouldn't say anything because I know it will just make her feel worse. My husband and I haven't told anyone besides our parents yet but want to soon.

I was hoping for some advice from women who have experienced this and can offer advice on how you would have liked someone to handle it. Or is there really no certain way that makes it easier? I haven't gone through something like this but can imagine its very painful and I don't want to come across as insensitive. But also, I'm very excited and want to shout it from the roof tops!

I feel terrible for her loss and just don't want to do anything to cause her more pain.     

Wake_Life

Thanks for the advise. I wasn't planning on a big work announcement. We are all friends on facebook so I guess I'll wait to do that announcement. I just know if I tell all my friends one of them will be a goober and mention it on FB. I figured it would be more appropriate to wait I just don't want her or my other co-workers to be offended when they find out I've kept it from them. We are a pretty close-nit team here.

I'm ready to tell my other friends and family but I guess I will just have to make it clear that I don't want in mentioned on FB.

 

BillyHorrible

I don't know if this would work for you, but when we announced last time I disabled all comments on my facebook wall, so no one would post anything before I was ready for them to know.

divinemsbee

I agree with others that telling her via e-mail or text is going to be best. Don't let her get blind-sided by a Facebook announcement and don't let her find out from other people, that would be so much worse than her just knowing you kept it from her for a little while.

Also, for the future, don't expect her to attend any sort of work shower (since you said you guys are a close team, that's something that might come up). If she feels she can come, she will, but don't expect it and don't get upset with her if she doesn't come. And, and this will probably be hard but appreciated, try your hardest to keep pregnancy related complaints away from her as much as you can. That's not to say you can't have them or air them, but it's a know your audience thing.

Wake_Life

Thanks ladies. I really do feel terrible for her. Her Dr. referred her to a fertility specialist and his top recommendation is actually the Dr. that my Sister in Law works for. She's his office manager so I'm hoping she will be able to squeeze them in a little sooner.

I'm going to wait a few weeks before I say anything and I'll make sure I text her when I do tell her. Thank you for that piece of advice, I wouldn't have thought to do it that way.