Parenting
s/o holidays..staying w/family- WWYD?
We live about 2 hrs away (out of state) from all of our family. Before we started having babies and all that jazz, DH and I had no issue driving down to stay with our family over the holidays (usually a 2-3 day stay split between my family and in laws).
Even once we had DS, we keep the set up the same. Christmas eve with my family, staying at my mom's house (she has 2 spare rooms, one of which has a crib set up, the other has a queen size bed, which makes staying there pretty easy, bc we have a good amount of space..plus there's a guest bathroom).
Christmas day is with my in-laws, staying at my MILs house. DH's family is huge, and holidays celebrations with them are usually a loud, drunken affair, where more than half the family ends up staying at my MILs house also bc they're too drunk to drive. We usually get put in the guest room in the basement, where DS sleeps in a PnP and we sleep in the full bed. The only bathroom is upstairs.
Dh and I recently discussed that with me being 9 months pg this Christmas and us adding another child to our mix come next year, our holiday traveling arrangements are definitely going to change, but we're not sure how so yet. So it'll take some experimenting with different things. But either way, staying at his mom's house all crammed into one basement bedroom (with soon to be a toddler and infant), where his family stays up drinking/yelling/playing cards all hours of the night w/ the only bathroom located upstairs wasn't going to work anymore.
So I said, starting this yr, we can either rent a hotel room for the few days, or I'd just drive back to my mom's (only 10 min away from my inlaws) to get DS down and sleep there again after we celebrate Christmas day with my inlaws, since its quiet and we have more space. He got a little pissy about it and said "well ok, whatever you have to do, but it's ridiculous to pay for a hotel room". I agree, when my mom has plenty of space abd has offered for us to stay as long as we'd like.
I mean, he understands that with us traveling with 2 kids, and his huge family all cramming into his mom's house, there just isnt enough space, but I also dont want him thinking I'm just looking for an excuse to stay with my family instead of his. Its seriously just that its quieter and there's more space. Even if it was the other way around, I'd want to stay at the quieter place. When I asked if he had any better ideas, he didnt say much. I told him he's welcome to stay at his mom's later than DS and I if he wanted to play cards and hang w/ his family, but that I'd just take DS to my mom's to get him down to sleep. I asked him if he'd end up driving to my mom's later to stay with us for the night or he'd end up just sleeping at his mom's he said he'd end up playing by ear (he doesnt drink so the driving isnt an issue for him).
Sorry for the tl; dr, but WWYD? Would you be ok with YH staying at a different place than you and the kids Christmas night? I feel like due to the screwy arrangement, I shouldnt put up a stink bc its just where we're sleeping, and he'll be with us Christmas eve/day anyway, but idk. WWYD? Im sure I'm over thinking this.
Even once we had DS, we keep the set up the same. Christmas eve with my family, staying at my mom's house (she has 2 spare rooms, one of which has a crib set up, the other has a queen size bed, which makes staying there pretty easy, bc we have a good amount of space..plus there's a guest bathroom).
Christmas day is with my in-laws, staying at my MILs house. DH's family is huge, and holidays celebrations with them are usually a loud, drunken affair, where more than half the family ends up staying at my MILs house also bc they're too drunk to drive. We usually get put in the guest room in the basement, where DS sleeps in a PnP and we sleep in the full bed. The only bathroom is upstairs.
Dh and I recently discussed that with me being 9 months pg this Christmas and us adding another child to our mix come next year, our holiday traveling arrangements are definitely going to change, but we're not sure how so yet. So it'll take some experimenting with different things. But either way, staying at his mom's house all crammed into one basement bedroom (with soon to be a toddler and infant), where his family stays up drinking/yelling/playing cards all hours of the night w/ the only bathroom located upstairs wasn't going to work anymore.
So I said, starting this yr, we can either rent a hotel room for the few days, or I'd just drive back to my mom's (only 10 min away from my inlaws) to get DS down and sleep there again after we celebrate Christmas day with my inlaws, since its quiet and we have more space. He got a little pissy about it and said "well ok, whatever you have to do, but it's ridiculous to pay for a hotel room". I agree, when my mom has plenty of space abd has offered for us to stay as long as we'd like.
I mean, he understands that with us traveling with 2 kids, and his huge family all cramming into his mom's house, there just isnt enough space, but I also dont want him thinking I'm just looking for an excuse to stay with my family instead of his. Its seriously just that its quieter and there's more space. Even if it was the other way around, I'd want to stay at the quieter place. When I asked if he had any better ideas, he didnt say much. I told him he's welcome to stay at his mom's later than DS and I if he wanted to play cards and hang w/ his family, but that I'd just take DS to my mom's to get him down to sleep. I asked him if he'd end up driving to my mom's later to stay with us for the night or he'd end up just sleeping at his mom's he said he'd end up playing by ear (he doesnt drink so the driving isnt an issue for him).
Sorry for the tl; dr, but WWYD? Would you be ok with YH staying at a different place than you and the kids Christmas night? I feel like due to the screwy arrangement, I shouldnt put up a stink bc its just where we're sleeping, and he'll be with us Christmas eve/day anyway, but idk. WWYD? Im sure I'm over thinking this.
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Re: s/o holidays..staying w/family- WWYD?
Chance are, DH will prob end up sleeping where we are for the night, but I feel like if I'm going to make a stink about not staying at his mom's house, I should at least give him the option to stay with them and enjoy himself if he chooses. Although I'd prefer him to be with us.
Believe me, he sees how crazy my ILs get when they drink and the drama that usually ensues, and he bitches about how his family is a bunch of drunks, and so on/so forth. he also agrees that its not a good environment for our kids to be around when they get drunk. They annoy him, but nonetheless they're his family.
Our thought process is that next year, we'll probably stay home for xmas eve (my parents have already offered to come up here to celebrate xmas eve with us), so we can wake up at home and do christmas morning w/ the kids, then we'll make thw drive down to visit family for christmas day dinner, etc. So I guess we'll see.
Over the years, MH has definitely come a long way in standing up to her though. Push comes to shove, he knows that family we've created comes before anyone/anything else, and he always puts us first. But I also get that he doesnt see his family ever besides holidays pretty much (they dont make much of an effort to come visit us), so he wants to spend some quality time with them.
Their house is too small and now that there is 5 of us, we take up way too much room. But we live 20-30min from my family and see them all the time. We also coordinate holidays w my SIL and BIL who live cross-country. So it's nice to see them, too.
I'd want to be together, so I'd just deal w it. It's not that many days and it's every other year.
I pick my battles w my ILs and this is not one I choose to fight.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
I was wondering the same, and I'll of course double check with her, but when I was pg with DS (he was also a January baby- his due date was Jan 19th, this babys due date is the 17th), I asked at my 34 or 36wk appt about our travel plans for xmas and she said I was ok to travel, since I'd only be about 36wks along and wasnt dilated yet. Little did we know, DS ended up coming the week after (my water broke at 37w4d).
I did mention to DH that this will all depend on how Im feeling/the progression of my pregnancy before xmas. i told him I wouldnt feel comfortable traveling if I was starting to dilate/efface at that point, which I'm sure my dr would say the same, and he agreed of course. So we'll be playing it by ear.