Scared to tell family

MrsHolland14

Hi,

I know this may sound silly but I could just use a little encouragement. I am nearly 28 years old and have been married for about a year. We do okay financially and I am looking at decent promotion upon the new year. We are blended family as I had my first child at 17. I obviously was scared to death at that point and my family was incredibly unhappy. (Hence that was NOT a fun pregnancy) I have always wanted a big family and after my first I got my act together. I finished college and now have a nice career and a happy family. The problem is even though I am married and on my own my family still thinks of me as a child and they all have told me I should not have any more children because I started to young. So, I guess the question is how can I get the courage to tell my family I am pregnant again and that I am over the moon excited to begin to add to our family? My husband is thrilled and I know his family will be thrilled as well as this is his first blood child. Any advice?

KBowen715

As a former teen mother (who is also now college educated, married, and happy) I know how hard it is to break out of 'that' image to your family. I basically began playing into the jabs they'd take at me and I think it eased the tension and we all began joking. It seems silly, but it really helped. Don't apologize for your past- it made you who you are!

KBowen715

I also now have three children. Whenever my Dad makes some comment about my irresponsible decisions, I joke and remind him that he doesn't seem to mind having grandchildren that love him so much.

hopanka

I'd say own it and tell them with confidence and in a happy voice. That will set the tone for the kind of announcement you want it to be. Since this is happy news for an adult married couple, it should be portrayed as such. And if it is done this way, it will be hard for your family to respond to the news any other way. But, if you announce it in a shaky voice, timid and with fear in your voice - how do you think they will respond? Go and celebrate this happy news, both you and your H are excited you're having a baby, so let it show and don't make any apologies!

Ilumine

Let me ask you this?  How does your husband feel knowing that his wife cannot stand up to her parents for HIS child?

I am not tyring to be mean, but if my husband couldn't even tell his mother about my child, then I would wonder/worry about his ability to protect my child from her negativity.  And I would then look at ways of protecting my child, to include taking my child out of the situation all together.  

And honestly, if you do not stand up to them NOW, before your baby is born, how do you think they are going to react towards the baby when s/he is born?  Do you honestly want your child to grow up around that?  It is better to put them in their place before they can negatively affect him/her. 

acbarbour

I say tell them very confidently and be happy regardless of their reaction.  I was scare to tell my family when I found out about DD because of the situation with my first.  DH announce to his family first and their reactions was pure excitement.  After that reaction and my own feelings nothing my family did mattered.  They were very "meh" about the pregnancy but adore my kids.  Be confident and make your own happy.

 

nattyncbride

I like what @acbarbour said.  I can't presume to know how you feel, but I hope your family can rise to the occasion.  Like others have said, I'm sure they will be excited about the baby when they meet him/her.

Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!

RachelB104

Say it confident and happy. If anyone says anything negative tell them you are in an adult in a stable marriage and if they don't want to join in your joy then they can keep there thoughts to themselves. Don't let them bring you down; this is your happy time!

Desiree262

I think you should just go for it! If they are your family and they love you they will be supportive. It was so mean of them to say you shouldn't have anymore kids. No one has that right to decide but you, and on that note 28 is a great age ! You still have time to have 2 more if you wanted. If you are doing well financially and you are in a happily committed marriage, your family should have a change of heart. But you know, sometimes it takes something like this to happen to give them a chance to have a change of heart And in any case, you have an entire team of moms to be on here who will back you ! Hang tough girl !