Really starting to regret saying anything to anybody. Ever.

Ann612

***kids mentioned***

Just got off the phone with my mom, who gave me a lecture about drinking two light beers on Saturday when I was going for a pregnancy test today.  

I also opened up to my SIL (through email).  She also mentioned how stressed out she's been so I offered to drive up to meet her for lunch one day.  Her response? NOPE!  She cherishes spending time with her 2 kids way too much.  Oh, great, so you don't want to hang out with me and also decided to turn me down in the most hurtful way you could given my circumstances, WHICH I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT.  

And to make it even more awesome, I mentioned to my DH how I thought her response was a little insensitive, and surprise surprise, he totally disagreed and told me I'm just very sensitive, because she can do no wrong in his eyes.  The only thing right he said was maybe I should just stop sharing this stuff with anyone.  

BunnyBerry

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! That's just insult on top of injury on top of insult!

You are not too sensitive, who would tell anyone who invited them to hang out that they cherish time with their kids too much to accept an invitation? At least say they could say they are too busy with their kids or something.

I'm not surprised your mom worried about the beers in the TWW, although that's annoying for sure...I wouldn't be able to let my mom know I drank in the TWW. But perhaps if you explained how it doesn't affect a developing embryo at this point?

Tiko99

Oh man I'm sorry you had to deal with your mom and SIL. I'm a believer in drink till it's pink so DRINK ON! Also, how frustrating for your SIL to say something like that RIGHT after you told her what you are going through....I would give my DH a piece if he agreed with his sister over me, but I'm kind of a biotch!

Wine, wine, wine or more beer, beer, beer!

curve31

Wow, she can't take an hour or two for lunch away from her kids. Sounds kinda unhealthy to me. Probably dodged a bullet anyway. She would've talked about them the whole time if she's that consumed with them. No wonder she's stressed.

And it sounds like your husband needs to learn the art of the "you're right, honey" response. It should be taught in high school.

emilycatlady

I would be really angry at my SIL also if that was me. Some people just don't get it. No way does that make you sensitive
It's not fair of YH to say you should stop sharing with people. I'm sorry that happened

*hugs*

mshandlebar

Your SIL is unbelievable. That is pretty much the most insensitive thing she could have said. Kinda sounds like she is overcompensating.

And the double whammy of grief from your mom. Like you aren't dealing with enough already. Beer helps. Sorry for the crappiness.

AnonymousNurse

Wth?  I'm angry for you.  At all of these people.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this : (

I love my mom, we've always been fairly close, but I tell her very little about my treatment.   I tell her it's because I want to be able to surprise her (partly true), but I really am just afraid of unsolicited advice from her and other family members (she tries, but can't keep things to herself).  She also get pregnant the first month of trying with all 3 of her pregnancies (WTF!) so she really doesn't understand, but she's trying.  I think a lot of people just really, truly don't understand what it's like to have trouble conceiving.  

redandblue

Sorry for your rough day. SIL can be dumb anyways. @curve31‌ bahahaha. Teach that in high school! That's hilarious! An extra credit course perhaps?

gcbean

So sorry you were getting it from all sides today. That is super rough. Many years of very expensive therapy has taught me it's okay to tell people when they're being awful. It can be its own therapy. Hang in there.

mmmKayy

(((hugs))) I know how it can be when YH doesn't really get how you feel. Mine was the same way. He was dealing with IF way different than I was, and it wasn't until I had a breakdown that he stayed to understand. Hopefully yours will come around (and hopefully it won't take a meltdown lol).

theholmanherd

Your mom's comment is ignorant, but your SIL's comment is unbelievable. I would have ripped my H a new one if he said I was too insensitive. I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. HUGS

Ann612

Thanks everyone.  I was quite upset last night.  Luckily, DH came back over and I explained myself (maybe better?) and he got it.  He really just meant if some people are just going to cause me more grief, than it may not be worth discussing it much more with them, and I agree.  I am lucky enough to have a couple friends who have been through it, and so understand much better.  So those are the people I will rely on.  And here of course  And then he brought me wine, which really helped!

Ann612

iPutKetchupOnKetchup said:

Yeah, see.. your Mom wouldn't agree with half the shit I do if she is ridiculing you for drinking two light beers in the 2WW.

Your SIL sounds like she is a selfish human being. You had just opened up to her about IF, offered to drive up to have lunch with her after her response to you opening up was with her problems and she then rejects you claiming she can't stand to be away from her kids for 2 hours? Yeah, she sucks. And she has an incredibly unhealthy attachment to her kids if she cannot bear to be away from them for an hour to have lunch with her SIL. What in the hell does she do when they nap? Sit and stare at them? 

As for your H, I second Rainbow. Have him read "What to Expect When She's NOT Expecting" if he refuses, or if he keeps the siding-with-anyone-but-his-wife act up, withhold the boobs. Clearly you can't withhold the sex, but the boobs you can use as incentive. Trust me. 

so funny - she DOES have an unhealthy attachment, and it's something everyone notices.  It actually really bothers DH.

I shouldn't have complained so much about DH, he had an uncharacteristic slip when he is normally so amazing through all this stuff.  But I will keep the boob withholding method in mind

Chasity08

So because she has kids she can't have a lunch away? I'm calling BS. Seriously. I don't care how much you love your kids or how involved you are or what not, you can take an hour or two and meet your family member or friends or WHOEVER for lunch. Give.Me.A.Break.

She is just a jerkface. I'm sorry that happened to you.

kristyn831

Your mom's comment is annoying, but she probably doesn't understand that 2WW doesn't equal pregnant.  Your SIL's comment was just plain mean.  Dealing with people with no clue is annoying.