Horrible day (loss) Devastated..

adrimolina

I posted this on June 2015 board, but I figured now this is a more appropriate board. 

I will be 6 weeks pg tomorrow, I've been spotting since Friday night (mostly brown) and also cramping. I have been terrified, my Dr had me go in this morning for an US and the technician didn't see anything   The Dr said he saw thickening and a pillow/cushion for the baby but that at this point they should be able to see more..they did a BT to check the levels which they will repeat on Weds and from these first results they will determine if the US needs to be repeated...

It obviously does not sound good at all and I feel really stupid for even keeping a little bit of hope alive..

I am so devastated and heartbroken, I never thought this could hurt so bad. 

flyoffeve

I am sorry you are going through this. If it is a mc (not to necessarily hold out hope, but it doesn't sound like you are all the way there yet), the bleeding and cramping will get more intense. Limbo sucks as you wait. Heating pad helps. (Hugs)

araya1975

Give it a little more time and don't lose hope. 5 weeks is really early to see an embryo yet. You might not be as far along as you think. If it is a mc then you have a great support system with all these wonderful ladies in this group. Prayers and well wishes to you!! Be kind to yourself right now!! (Hugs)

adrimolina

Thank you so much ladies for your support! It means a lot.

4N6s

I'm so sorry and I completel agree, limbo sucks.

mustlovedogs63

Hopefully you are not having an MC. I was in Limbo for several weeks until finally my MC was confirmed. I'll still keep my fingers crossed for you.

negritosmami

well its two days later..i hope your absense means all is well...fingers crossed for you for sure!!i hope you dont have to return to this board!

adrimolina

Hi, I went to the Dr today again and my levels for the blood drawn on Monday were bad 1.5 Progesterone and 67 Hcg  So mc is 100% confirmed, which I was almost sure was the case as the bleeding has been nonstop..

He checked me and and said my cervix is closed he suggested a D &C or trying Misoprostol first and if by 3pm tomorrow it hasn't worked I need a D&C first thing on Friday. I did not expect this! I thought since it was early and I have been bleeding so much I wouldn't have to go through all that

For the ladies that have had similar experiences, what has your outcome been? Does the medication work well? How do you know exactly if it worked or not? How did you feel after the D&C? Is it painful? Any info would be greatly appreciated! As you can tell I am a bit overwhelmed and confused.

To add to this stress I started a new job with a super long commute and crazy pressure and I am supposed to be at an event all day tomorrow 10-8 and supposed to work all day Friday and I don't even know how to tell them I might need the day off, when I have worked only 1 day so far! :S

Thanks for your input!

mustlovedogs63

I did the Cytotec/Misoprostol route. Three doses. And I cannot emphasize enough how much it sucked. I was so sick, so much pain, and a high fever (over 101) for the entire day. I know this may be a bit of an exaggeration but I thought I wasn't going to make it to the next day it was so awful. And unfortunately for me, it didn't work all the way. I barely bled the day I took the doses. I passed the sac the next day but on Monday had an ultrasound and there was still retained tissue. The doctor didn't want to do anything invasive since I was still bleeding if we didn't need to, so they are just taking a wait and see approach at this point and now I've been bleeding for 2 weeks and my HCG is dropping but still over 2000. I'm hoping everything comes out on its own, but in retrospect I probably should've just done the D&C and got it over with because this is killing me. The Cytotec may work better for you since you weren't that far along. I was somewhere between weeks 8-10 when I used it (my ovulation was off I'm sure). The embryo and sac only measured six weeks though...

Good luck and sorry again, its a nightmare and really there isn't a "good" choice, just whatever you feel more comfortable with.

LilLizzy1487

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am also currently in the process of an MC at 4 weeks, 2 days, although I am stupidly keeping hope even though my beta was at 9 by 2pm today.  My doctor is going to have me repeat blood work on Wednesday, wanting to make sure that it goes down to -5.  She said something about the very, very slight chance that it could double from there.  Does anyone know if this is even possible?!?! Or is she just taking pity on me and sugar coating the situation? This whole day has been like a nightmare.  Am I stupid for grieving so hard over the loss of my little unexpected poppyseed?

LilLizzy1487

Oh, and if I do fully MC, do you think I will need a D&C or medication even though I am/was so early?

flyoffeve

I am so sorry. Both of my mc were natural. Check the post at the top for experiences women have shared for both medicated mc and d/c.

FigureSkater8

A D&C is not that bad...considering what I keep reading about natural MCs or cyro. MCs (waiting it out a long time and having unexpected results at home)...I'm so thankful I had a D&C.  Once I learned the baby wasn't alive I wanted it out of my body soon.  The procedure was not painful...getting an IV was the only thing I felt.  They put me under for all of it and I just had period bleeding afterward.  I would do it again if I was given the choice over taking the pills,definitely.  Like PP said, read the first two posts on this board that give people's D&C experiences.

adrimolina

I went to get another US today and the tech said that he didn't see anything/or very little left and that I should stop bleeding soon he called the Dr and they sent me home. I have had only light bleeding now. I was already prepared to get the D & C and glad I didn't have to go through with it. I'm feeling better physically but I'm an emotional wreck. This is so painful...

Thanks for your support and for sharing your experiences, I am so grateful for this board 

adrimolina

LilLizzy1487 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am also currently in the process of an MC at 4 weeks, 2 days, although I am stupidly keeping hope even though my beta was at 9 by 2pm today.  My doctor is going to have me repeat blood work on Wednesday, wanting to make sure that it goes down to -5.  She said something about the very, very slight chance that it could double from there.  Does anyone know if this is even possible?!?! Or is she just taking pity on me and sugar coating the situation? This whole day has been like a nightmare.  Am I stupid for grieving so hard over the loss of my little unexpected poppyseed?

Don't feel stupid, this is a very traumatic and painful experience for most women. We had so many dreams and idea of what was going to happen and your life suddenly changes so drastically and it is awful. I wish you the best of luck! xo

adrimolina

flyoffeve said:

I am so sorry. Both of my mc were natural. Check the post at the top for experiences women have shared for both medicated mc and d/c.

Thank you!!

LilLizzy1487

Thanks @adrimolina

adrimolina said:

Don't feel stupid, this is a very traumatic and painful experience for most women. We had so many dreams and idea of what was going to happen and your life suddenly changes so drastically and it is awful. I wish you the best of luck! xo

I did well all day.  I got out of the house and not to go to a doctors office.  I went out shopping with mom and was around people.  Everything went fine.  Then I just tanked.  I so badly just wanted to be tracking baby's progress again. Like a bad dream I can't wake up from.  I guess being really tired from not sleeping doesn't help anything.  Tomorrow I will try again to get up and feel... something other than horrible. 

AnnaInman

So sorry for your loss. T&P's to you.

schuebja

I'm so sorry for your loss.

adrimolina

Thanks for your words, it's been a couple of weeks since it all started and still hurting and wondering why and 'what if'...  missing my lost baby..

Nikolie93

I know a couple weeks feels like forever and you will probably never forget about your lost little one but it does get a bit easier with some time.

I wish I had magical words that would make you feel better. *hug*