Crazy in law/mom/family thread

foxslaw

i figured we could all use a space to vent about the people we can't live with, and can't live without. I remember reading that a lot of us have crazy mothers & crazy MILs soooo lets exchange stories!

racheltherose

OH.BOY. My husband and I are SO over his family shoving their opinions about how to raise our child down our throats. We've simply started replying with "Thank you, but we will screw up our child our own way"

HerHighness

My mom is awesome!

My mother in law is bat shit crazy! Want the latest story? 2 weeks ago (before we had the Ebola scare thing here) she was so obsessed with someone giving her Ebola. She thinks that one of the world travelers in her HUD housing (she is on disability) is going to go to Africa (because people who live in HUD housing have thousands to spend on airfare) and come back and give it to her. She called the mayor, the county health dept, the HUD housing office (to demand they not let anyone travel) and the CDC. She then swore out the cdc because they couldn't tell her what they would do if she got Ebola.

She called to tell me all of this in a panic and i told her she'd be fine as long as she wasnt swapping spit or fucking anyone in her building. She thinks im crazy now because it doesnt spread that way....

kefttsc

My MIL figured out arrangements so she CAN come to my baby shower!!!!!!

WanderingA

My MIL is sweet, but still kind of sucks (along with the rest of his family).  He is the youngest of two sons and is clearly the least favorite.  His older brother, wife and their 2 kids lived with my MIL and FIL for about 2 years when she first got pregnant despite the fact that they are loaded...basically, free child care for SIL (who is a SAHM with a nanny).

MIL DOTES on our nieces and watches them at least 2-3 times a week and is constantly having H's brother's family over for dinner or going out with them.  She got back from vacation last Saturday and didn't even call us until this past Friday.  When she did call she told H that she was watching our nieces and had just got back from a fall fest with their family.  I'm over it, but I know it really hurts H

nbad311

Ugh.  I have my stockpile of MIL complaints and annoyances (especially since I only have a 2-3 minute vent limit with DH about her until he turns defensive) but I just can't bring myself to let it all out.  I always feel bad bitching about her after I do.  Unless I am talking to my own mother, who I let it allllllllllll out to. 

 

Just a teaser trailer that I am willing to share:  (before we were even dating) DH skipped going home for Xmas one year so he could study for, and pass, his 4th and last CPA exam.  If he did not pass on this try, he was going to lose his previous 3 and go back to square one, so he knew he had to hunker down, be serious, and skip the holidays.  Home is in Boston, although both him and his mom live here about 15 minutes away from each other.  He stayed, he studied, and he passed;  and his mom went home for the holidays, and cried and cried, and still talks about that terrible year without him.  But never throws in there the fact that she was proud of him or anything about how he got serious, made a sacrifice and accomplished something very challenging.  Only child problems I guess!

 

Teaser-trailer for the sequel:   We recently told her at dinner that we do not plan to travel "home" for the holidays this year either and she was all like "WHAT WHY" and I was like "hey lady I'm gonna be 7 months pregnant" and she was like "But you can definitely still travel!!" and I was like "But i'm not!   "

lorifromwi

It's my mom who's tough to handle.  The other day she locks me out of my house twice...the first time I was willing to give to her, but the second time was after I told her I didn't carry a key for that door (it's between the garage and the house).  So when I call her upset because I'm now taking two doped up dogs (had dentals that day) to a PT appointment with my 4 month old daughter, she flips out on me bawling and trying to turn it into my fault.  Then goes on this tirade again about how she's the worst babysitter ever and she's done with it.  I spent the next 10 minutes talking her down until I arrived at the PT appointment.

srcr2011

My MIL reminds me of the mom from "Everybody Loves Raymond". She will say things that come out so rude and say things under her breath. I know she is judging me...

Once, DS got sick and she told me "I don't know, I always fed my kids healthy and they never got sick."

When DS was biting and blowing "raspberries" at kids at daycare she said,  "Well, he must have learned it from somewhere. My kids never bit anyone".

I wanted to tell her, yes, MIL, I teach my son how to bit and spit at other kids, that's what happened. Since you raised 4 perfect sons, it must be ALL my fault. Forget the fact that he is 2 years old.

lizjennings81

My FIL is controlling and narcissistic. (MIL is just oblivious and thinks her family is one big lovefest.) I find it difficult to be around him. My husband can't stand him. I'm nervous about how he's going to treat our little girl (it's his relationship to mess up; the first sign of how he treated my husband as a child and we're done).

I could say more, but don't want to get my blood pressure up.

mirigirl

my MIL took off when DH was 4 and still thinks she is mom of the year. I have a VERY difficult time respecting her because of this. She is extremely outspoken and has no problem letting you know how you are wrong and she is right. DH loves his mother but avoids her at all costs. Now that we are having a baby she is all over my shit. I am hoping DH and I can agree on boundaries for her when Blake is born. We shall seeeeee

mirigirl

krendel1990 said:

My mother in law is actually wonderful. But before you come after me with pitchforks, my husband's step dad called me a whore the first time he met me. Now, he just gives me the heeby jeebies because he doesn't understand personal space.

Love tited because you like your MIL

freegiraffe

My in-laws are great. I'm lucky. However, despite the fact that I really like my MIL and FIL I am still thankful we live near MY family and far from the ILs. I am really close to my mom and she is and will always be my go-to person for advice on life in general and especially my kids. We only see the ILs a few times a year, although I touch base with my MIL via email, text and FB about once a week or so. So it all works out. I see my mom all the time, MIL is looped in but not physically present, and everyone is happy!

And by everyone I mean myself, of course.

KDBoss

I love my MIL however I wished she lived a little further away! Just yesterday actually she informed me that I need to buy a new crib so she can have the old one at her house. Why would we buy a new one when we have a perfectly good one?! Besides the baby isn't going to be there that much. Then she went into she just can't understand why I am not feeling the best she just never felt better when she was pregnant. What like I am making it up? Oh it's always something lol

psychobutthead

OK @miniwheat10 can I just hate you? Seriously, you're so lucky to have a MIL you love.

Ugh my MIL I wish would just freaking croak. She's done alot but for some reason she keeps thinking shes going to get to have this baby all the time. Umm sorry but I raise my own children I'm not my SIL who ditches hers on everyone any chance she can get.

Currently she keeps wanting to work on my house and lecture me on how we need to finish it. Honestly I don't give a damn about my house. I work fulltime and I'm pregnant the remodeling can wait as I have 0 energy and motivation to do it and I don't want them in my home every weekend until they decide to finish. I also don't want them doing it because I don't want it half assed like everything else they've touched in my house has been done.

Also my own mother is just crazy.

My father left like 17 years ago. He wasn't even gone a month before my mom had a new bf and she wasn't even divorced a month before she got remarried.

But she will randomly write me on fb how she knows my stepmother is the reason she doesn't get to talk to my daughter or that my daughter doesn't know her name. And she hopes that my father sees the light and finally leaves his wife. She also then writes me complaining how me being pregnant just means theres another grandchild she'll never see.

First off my brother has 4 kids. the younger was born not even a year ago but the others are all now grown and on their own or at college. The entire time they where growing up my mother had nothing to do with them. She never watched them and she never even gave them anything on their birthdays or even called them on their birthdays. She now expects them to drop whatever they are doing if she shows up at their work and make a big show of greeting her. That doesn't happen because obviously they don't give a shit about her and don't even see her as their grandmother.

Also when I had DD there where so many times she told me I was such a bad mother that I'd end up killing her and that she was going to take her from me. Life was horrible. Yet she blames my stepmother for why I don't let her speak to DD.

NQueen11

lizjennings81 said:

My FIL is controlling and narcissistic. (MIL is just oblivious and thinks her family is one big lovefest.) I find it difficult to be around him. My husband can't stand him. I'm nervous about how he's going to treat our little girl (it's his relationship to mess up; the first sign of how he treated my husband as a child and we're done).

I could say more, but don't want to get my blood pressure up.

I feel like we have the same in-laws! My mom was in town this weekend which was a HUGE deal because she never visits me alone. FIL caught wind and decided it would be the perfect excuse if we all went out to dinner because they never get out of the house because they don't have friends. So off to dinner we go. Silence through dinner unless topic was about them talking about their past (I could tell you everything you wanted to know about DH's birth because that's all we talk about lately). When I tried to bring up the fact that my mom had a big week last week (traveling out of state and two granddaughters born the same day from sisters) to try to move the conversation to something else they say "oh that's nice" and then start talking about themselves again. Weird you have no friends....

CogDis

My mom is so batshitcrazy I'd need the whole internet to explain.

But, she's my mom and I've forgiven her and I love her.

I try to remember that my MIL is my DH's mom. I'm expecting that to start working any day.

Good luck ladies with your mom troubles! Let's hope we can keep it together for our LOs!

toadandbug12

This thread is perfect because yesterday I pretty much had a nervous breakdown from my mom!

My mom and I have never been super close, mainly because we are very different. She's very, very excited about my pregnancy, and I appreciate and love that. I love my mom very much and I am happy she cares so much about me and wants to be apart of everything.

But, what drives me crazy is that she is very hard to talk to. She just doesn't *listen* when anybody speaks, so then she asks the same questions repeatedly. It gets very tiresome to answer the same (and obvious) questions every conversation with her. She gets really excited, and is only wanting to ask questions without listening to the answer. She also tells the same stories/pieces of advice every time a topic is brought up. Anyway, she is supposed to be planning my baby shower, so I gave her a list of people she didn't know and their addresses. She called me yesterday and said, "We need to talk about your baby shower" VERY seriously (she does this a lot).

"OK, what?"

In a nutshell she tells me she's not sure about anything with the baby shower even though she told me a few weeks ago where she booked and the date and she was going to get the invitations out by the end of October. When I said, "You told me it was December 7th!" "Oh, well, I'm not sure, it's the 6th or the 7th." Meanwhile I'm telling people it's December 7th. She said she's not sure she wants to even book there, and she might have lost the list of people I gave her! I started stressing hard and she was like "Why are you so stressed? Don't worry it's under control."

So I offered to do the invitations and she was like "Really? Ok I'll email you the people I want to come." Which pissed me off because 1. Why are you calling me complaining to me the things you had to do for the baby shower and 2. Why would you want me to send out my own invitations? It's not that difficult! Thankfully I called my sister, almost in tears, who has volunteered to do the invitations/decorations/handling of everything major. My sister called my mom to tell her she will handle everything, and then my mom calls me to say "Oh, your sister's doing it, she WANTS to do it - BTW it's this day, this time, I don't know why you were so stressed, I told you everything was fine."

It sounds silly, but the last thing I want to do right now is worry about putting together the details for my baby shower.

Also, my mom likes to ask weird, random questions. Every time she sees me she asks me "Does food taste really good? Food tasted so good when I was pregnant."

Conversation yesterday:

"You eating?"

"Yes."

"Food taste good?"

"Yes."

Why, why do you have to ask me if food tastes good? OF course food tastes good!!! EVERY time I see her she asks me that. She also always asks me on Sundays if I have work the next day (I work full time). It drives me crazy - if It's not a holiday or any other specified day off, why wouldn't I, the full time worker, be working on a Monday?!

Random pet peeves.

krysmill

My MIL was so sweet to me and then when my DH an I got engaged it's like she turned into a crazy person. She needs him for everything. My DH and I got married this past April. His sister is very unstable and is hanging with the wrong crowd of people. Mind you she's a 23 year old adult that acts like a 15 year old. Life has to revolve around her and her mother allows it. So when his sister was getting into trouble his mom made us babysit her! BABYSIT a 23 year old. An all she kept say was I know your newlyweds and you shouldn't have to be doing this. Well stop dropping her off at my house. An we get together with her every week for dinner and all his mom talks about is how his sister is such an F*** up. So sick of hearing about it. She never asks about me or the baby.
Oh one last rant. MIL decides to plan a trip two weeks after the baby is to be born (yes I know baby's don't come on your due date) but she has the audacity to tell me the baby better come on time cause she doesn't want to have to reschedule her trip! Are you serious?! Ok done.

crabigator

My ILs are pretty great, but my mom is the crazy one. She's not as crazy as some that I've read about (on here!), but she's still kinda cuckoo. It's partly her personality, and partly that she and I had a very close and contentious relationship (that she thinks is normal) when I was growing up. 

Point 1: I'm an only child.

Point 2: My dad left home when I was 11, my parents divorced when I was 13, and then my parents got back together (yes, it's kinda weird, and generally, no, I don't know what to say about it) when I was in my early 20s. Which means I spent all years from 11-15 living with only my mom. I was a teenager; she was menopausal.

Point 3: My mom is both a non-native English speaker and hearing-impaired. She actually communicates with people really well, considering -- she's held long-time jobs in offices where people only speak English, she is really fast to say "can you just write it down for me?," and she is a voracious reader (of books in English). But still, I understand her speech better than anyone does, and so she'll still heavily depend on me to "translate" when we're in a group. She used to make me, as a 6-year-old, go up to tell cashiers that they cheated her on the coupons, or when my voice matured, she used to have me call her insurance company to straighten out her bill, and told me to just tell them that I was her.

Add in that she has the shortest fuse of anyone that I know, and it's fun... but it's also the life I know. Having been with my husband for 14 years and therefore being exposed to calm, normal ILs is actually still kinda shocking to me. I spent a lot of time being embarrassed of my crazy parents because his are just So. Damned. Normal.

All of that is to say though, my mom's crazy comes out thusly w/r/t my babies and pregnancy: since I've lived 3000 miles away from her since I was 16 (which is generally fine with both of us), she's a picture FIEND. She texted me last Friday with: 

"It is October 17 and only 4 Zoe pictures?  Not good... Not good at all"

Um, I'm tired, and busy, and pregnant. Taking pictures of my daughter and posting them on FB is not really at the top of my list. In contrast, when she was here for Z's 3rd birthday, she posted an album of pics from that party (not her whole visit, just the party)... 198 pictures. 8-| Who the hell is going to look through that many pics?!?

I've mentioned this before, but she was REALLY wanting me to have a girl, both the first time and this time. Because "I don't know how to take care of boys!" I'll just stick another one of these here: 8-| She also told me in the same line of conversation that women pregnant with boys get uglier and those pregnant with girls get prettier, and that is how she knew that I was having a girl this time, because "you look pretty." 

And then with all of that, when she actually spends time with my daughter, she gets very upset because my mom, as of yet, doesn't totally understand what Z's saying all the time, which makes sense -- she's 3, she doesn't speak that clearly, nor does Z know to look at my mom's face when she's speaking to her, she speaks in English only, etc. But it really bums my mom out, and then instead of trying to talk to her or play with her in a non-verbal fashion, or really do anything while she's visiting that would actually help us with regards to childcare, she gets huffy and grumpy and then eventually spills it all on me, and I have to try to make her feel better. I know that she's brightened up when my mom asks me when I think Z will be old enough to do ____ activity with her, which of course are all things that she imagines are what you do with your granddaughter (have a tea party, make jewelry together, text each other, etc.).

I'm already regretting how long this is, but it was cathartic, so... I'll leave it. Good luck and heaps of patience to all of us!!!

wintersong139

I love my my in laws. They have been a very welcoming bunch, and we get along great.

That being said, OF COURSE I have some stories. Here is a sample:
- My mother in law keeps giving me advice such as "C-sections aren't a big deal anymore, I don't know why people take off 8 weeks" and "the doctor is just being overly cautious, just take aspirin, it can't hurt anything," and (my favorite) "you are short of breath because you don't go to the gym enough" (not because I am five months pregnant). She's a great lady, but she does not understand how her words are interpreted by other people!
- DH's cousin, after hearing that we have a midwife, asked why. Then she said, "Oh, I don't see you as someone who could go without medication." (What is that supposed to mean?)
- My MIL insists she will be called Mama V--even though I told her no, I'm the mama, there is only one mama.
- My MIL also said she was going to drive down the night we were in labor. My FIL looked around and said loudly, "You might want to wait to be invited first!" When I indicated that we didn't want anyone at the hospital, her response was, "Well, that's not normal." Okay?

Again, I DO love my MIL. The things that people say when you are pregnant are crazy, though!

mommadozer

Ahhh... The perfect thread.

My mom is my best friend and my MIL is batshit crazy! OCD, menopause, and has to always be in everyone's business.

Spent 3 days with ILs, BIL and his girlfriend and that was plenty. I don't want to see her for at least two weeks minimum. Mean I know but, I am going to snap at her.

Every year she tries to plan vacations for both thanksgiving and Christmas and does not respect that my BIL's girlfriend and I have family too. She always wants to go out of town so she does not have to deal with her husbands family. I just want to scream at her and tell her your sons are 30 and 27 years old and live their own lives!!!! Finally vented to hubby tonight that I am tired of being asked every year to sacrifice my family time and her throwing a tantrum when I tell her no.

Oddly enough, a few hours later after telling him this. MIL called and I let it go to voicemail. Hoping that it is about the baby shower but, hubby is known for telling her what's up and when to knock it off.

Thanks for letting me vent. (Again)

Alygohome

Hokey where to start. Well my
Mil hates me, tried to strangle me once, had to be told to leave my wedding, all because we wernt supposto get married before my sil, who is 31 and has been single since 19.... We'd still be waiting. I have soooo many mil stories... Too much to type on my phone. But let's just say when I make jokes like... I went to buy a new car and the salesman asked If I wanted airbags.. And I said nope I already have a mother in law... I'm not really joking!

Dani_Love

My mil is amazing and dh doesn't know his dad so I just have her, a brother and sister in law. I got super lucky. She just loves to complain to me about my bil and his wife which I find awkward.

That being said, the only real drama I had was when I was having Dd. She wanted to be in the waiting room while I was in surgery. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that because my surgery was at 430 and visiting hours were over at 7 and I didn't know how long it would take etc. She threw a fit and called dh who backed me up. She kept whining about it to the point where I told her she can sit there all freaking day if she wanted to but I don't want to hear a single thing about it when she can't meet the baby because things run late. Well she waited all day, invited the family to wait and guess what, my surgery didn't start until 530 and no one got to meet baby and they threw a fit. I didn't feel bad at all.

My mom on the other hand is always crazy. She doesn't think before she speaks and thinks rules don't apply to her. I have so many stories.

Victoriamondello

Ugh I can't even begin to explain how much I can't stand my In laws luckily I don't have to see them often but everytime we would go to spend holidays or ect at husbands mothers house I would mentally have to prepare myself because it's always something with her, she is so rude and very outspoken and makes you feel so unwelcomed when you stay there, she will bitch at you for eating her food... Which last time I checked I was the guest and if you don't want people touching your food then don't invite us to stay.... Seriously the list goes on of ridiculous things this woman has done but I won't even get into it all. The woman just complains about everything I do and has like some underlying issue with me is what Iv come to the conclusion of and it sucks because husband gets so defensive if I saw anything about her. And don't even get me started on the crazy bitches he has for sisters one I can honestly say hates me for absolutely no reason at all she basically took one look at me and has been nothing but a bitch towards me. And his youngest sister lived with us for a few months with her 1 year old and "boyfriend" and she was just MESS she has stole from me numerous times and constantly try's to start drama with me the girl can't even take care of her child litterly would sleep in till 1:30pm while baby is crying in crib for hours...finally get up feed him the same meal she always feeds him for breakfast lunch and dinner .... Cut up hot dogs! (So nutritionist for a baby right!? then will put him back down for a "nap" so she can go back to bed until she eventually just gave up her son all together to go live with his father in another state across the counrty.. Side note ( when we dropped them off at the airport she didn't even go to say good bye to her son or make sure he got there safely so when husband and I got home she was already gone and with some guy she had never even met before and said she was going to move in with him.... ) She was constantly cheating on her boyfriend and the only time she somewhat seemed to be happy is when everyone else around her was having a bad day or if she was making them miserable. I also swear she Has a "crush" on husband,.. Her brother! because she would always wanna hang out with us and constantly be around him. She just had this dark cloud around her with such negative energy that brings you down! There are once again a long long long list of story's I could tell you. Not even including the most recent one before she moved out to be back with her son and "boyfriend" again because the guy she moved In With for a week kicked her out... She broke into our house because we changed the locks so she couldn't try coming back when ever she felt like it because at the time I was about 2 months pregnant and I just wasn't comfortable with that and then after she broke in she attacked me and husband had to come and rip her off of me. Also she admitted to being extremely jealous of me and that I was pregnant because when she know husband and I were trying to get pregnant she was trying at the same time just so she could compete with me because she doesn't want me to have a good pregnancy because of quote on quote how miserable hers was. I didn't even wanna tell her I was pregnant because she was so annoying and rude about it like trying to scare me all the time or say I would have a miscarge. But funny thing is...now guess who's pregnant 2 months behind me ..... When she can't even take care of or afford her first child which she also said she regrets having and hates being a mom because she has no freedom any more. You do the math but If you ask me it's not a coincidence that she's pregnant now too. Ugh end rant!

munchkin8590

My ILs are actually pretty awesome. They're really helpful and they're just far enough away that we get to see them but not TOO often. My MIL is a little over emotional, though, and sometimes it's a little hard to handle. Luckily, DH and I are on the same page about her and he's good about stepping in when she says something that he knows will piss me off. FIL knows how to control her as well. He already offered to be the one to tell her she won't be in the delivery room, which I'm thankful for.

flyster

I love these threads! I lucked out with inlaws...MIL is really awesome and on the younger side (compared to my parents). Shes been up the past few weeks helping with the new house with taking down wallpaper ect. FIL gets on my nerves a bit because he is like straight out of Seinfeld but that's really just personality and not anything crazy or malicious so I count myself lucky there also. When his family is in a group they are really loud and shout over each other all the time. I find it a bit stressful.

My family is awesome but my mom has some serious health issues(lupus and related issues). Her short term memory in particular is pretty shot from a bunch of the meds she is on to deel with the physical stuff so I'm constantly repeating entire conversations. She also doesn't always realize how bad it is....she keeps offering to come up and take care of the baby. I'd love to have her help but no way am I leaving a baby with her. I know she was hurt that my sister wouldn't let her either...even things like changing his diaper ect would make me nervous because her hands are very week also. So that will be a bit tough but it really boils down to safety first.

mom2xover2002

My MIL has her moments. She sweet and likes me and the kids which is a huge plus from my ex MIL (I got called a gold digger bitch 48hrs before we got married and it was all my fault when we seperated bc I wouldn't put up with the cheating on me with a 20 year old or all the porn).

My biggest issue with my current MIL is her basically "checking out" when it comes to parenting her 26yr old autistic daughter (who's teenage hormones are in full gear) Yes she "mid-high" functioning and yes I understand 26 years can be exhausting (our 12 yr old has autism so I fully understand) however her son and I aren't the parents. We have our handsful co-parenting my kids (his step-kids), the daily issues that come up with autism & adhd in a preteen boy, a preteen daughter and her hormones, and prepping for a newborn.

If we are going to be the "parents" then let us. Our rules, don't cave to her.... Fun times

Alygohome

Ok now that I actually have time I am going to dig back into my IL files for some gooders:

(Warning: super de duper long)

-We got engaged a year after meeting, three days before MIL birthday and 5 days after SIL birthday. H showed them the ring before proposing and did it a few days later. She threw a hissy fir because a) It overshadowed her and SIL bday b) he didn't call her after c) he didn't;t take his sister--who neither of us are close too- ring shopping and she felt left out

-SIL told me I was not allowed to take their last name when my husband was out of the room

-SIL told me we can't get married until she looses 60 lbs as she doesn't want to look fat in the photos

-FIL told me we cannot have kids right after the wedding or until SIL has kids. 

-IL's asked us to go on family vacation in December for Xmas, they go 2-3 times a year but my H never goes, I thought it would be a good idea since I didn't know them well and it might be a better way to get to know them. I wanted to pay for my own ticket though (they refused) so I wanted to pay for an excursion for everyone--same value as my ticket.

 I had just started a new job, and I made sure 3-4 times everything was ok because I didn't want to ask off time on my new job unless it was for sure. We planned all this before we got engaged in September. In October they called to say they couldn't find anyone to watch their dogs, my dad lived close to them and he offered. A week later they called to say that because I didn't have my new passport yet (which takes like three days if you pay the express fee) they were cancelling the trip. I was pissed but w/e crazy is as crazy does. So in late November they call to say they are taking his sister on the trip instead and it works out perfect because now I have the time off and can watch their dogs! my husband said OK?! wtf I made him call them back and we told them we were going away on our own then and no we will not watch their dogs. They didn't end up going since they couldn't find anyone to watch them.

-We were looking at buying a house. FIL offered for us to build a new house on property that he said was joint owned by FIL & DH & MIL (they bought his sister a 450k condo free and clear she didn't pay to live in it, so they bought this property for my husband the same year) They were going to build the house and we would pay them back as a mortgage with 0% interest and the property would be ours free and clear. I said no, no no no no no. Never mix family with finances, I don't want their brand new mansion house they wanted to build us. NO. My husband and I argued a LOT (we were only engaged at this point) and finally I just gave in and told him to do what he wanted but I wanted a lawyer to look over the docs. He dad refused as we are "family" and don't need legal agreement. The whole time building the house he argued about what we chose for fixtures, I wanted less expensive and I wanted to spend the money differently then he did (he thought 20k appliances and granite was more important than features I wanted instead) my husband took an entire year off work unpaid to build our house. We fought a lot. I told him in March when we moved in that it was a bad idea, the next day they asked us to sign a LEASE until we are married as they were worried I would "steal" half the house/property and then it would be put in our name. The lease was for 1600 a month and we had to stay for over a year. I refused to sign it telling them I was not locking myself into a contract that only benefits them. I also told my h that day that I bet his mom would freak since I wasn't doing a fancy wedding and threaten to sell the house anytime she didn't get her way. he thought I was crazy and all this is normal.

-The morning of the wedding MIL wore black and huge black sunglasses and cried the whole time like it was a funeral. When the justice of the peace said "speak now or forever hold your peace..its windy out here so we wont hear you anyways" she said that she looked at her when she said that and it was CLEARLY directed at her. She wasn't happy where she waS sat (my BM set up the hall and she didn't offer once) she didn't like that I didn't thank them in my speech (H did in his and he didn't thank my family) she was mad that I didn't invite her 14 year old nephew (we had a very small wedding with no kids) because he had NEVER been left alone before. The list goes on and on, so anyways at the wedding my mom pulled H up to dance and his mom stormed out and threw a hissy fit in the parking lot and H had to tell her to leave.

We left for our honey moon the next day, the day we got back, surprise surprise they threatened to sell our house. I packed up all my shit and moved out, H followed and we left the house vacant while they were on holidays. They then admitted they were "bluffing" and they didn't want the house to sit empty (this is a rural million dollar house with no one around the check it) I said to effin bad. They tried to use the lease thing and I told them we refused to sign. So the house sat vacant for over 2 years. They made 700k on the house/property when it sold and never paid my husband a dime for all the work he put into it, and they never paid us back the 10's of thousands we put into the house. by this point I was done and almost divorced H because i felt he was stupid for not listening to me. Oh and by the way, the papers showing DH as part owner of the property? FAKE. they never put him on title.

We had some tough years because of this, and i refused to speak to my IL's for almost three years. I have finally started speaking to them again but on my terms. They know better than to overstep their boundries and try to use money to control me. I am happier in my little farm house i own then in their big brand new house that was used against us.

Many other things happened (like a week before my birthday my MIL jumped over a table and tried to strangle me because we caught her in a lie, she said that I TOLD her something when i was on the phone with her, H was listening in to the phone call and told her  NOPE i was listening that didn't happen, so his mom told me i ruined her family and jumped over the table at me. I wasn't surprised but H almost shat himself. I knew bitch was crazy---he was in denial.)

but this is the major stuff.

chicagojackie

krendel1990 said:

My mother in law is actually wonderful. But before you come after me with pitchforks, my husband's step dad called me a whore the first time he met me. Now, he just gives me the heeby jeebies because he doesn't understand personal space.

Dude. Mouth open on desk.

lorifromwi

@toadandbug12 - I think we're related...it's the only thing that could explain how much our moms are alike!! 

crabigator

@Alygohome My love tit is purely out of support for you only, obviously not for their OMGridiculous behavior. I'm... wow... those kinda take the cake for me. Wow.

jaztastic

Why Im just seeing this thread is beyond me... but I cant even begin to tell you all the BSC that is my MIL. Just pray for my sanity. 

Alygohome

jaztastic said:

Why Im just seeing this thread is beyond me... but I cant even begin to tell you all the BSC that is my MIL. Just pray for my sanity. 

I want stories!

hopefulsprout

My MIL is a little crazy (I say a little because some of the stories on here, WOAH!) but here's just the latest.

She said that since we're having a baby this Christmas, we don't need to get them anything for Christmas (awww). But then she said if we DO want to get them some things, she would like to have "baby things" around the house and she doesn't know what we'd like or remember what she'd need. I said... "like what?" and she proceeded to say, "Oh you know, like a crib and toys and stuff, I need to be prepared for when the baby stays here. They shouldn't have to spend a week in the pack n play."

Um... a week? Giiiirl, you live less than an hour from me! What makes you think I'm leaving my baby with you for a week, much less overnight? Maybe I'm being a naive FTM again, but I feel like the first year will be exclusively overnight at home with me. A week? Ha! 

Oh and another quick one: MIL and FIL treat BIL like a 15 year old child even though he's got a college degree and is much older than we were when we got married. He lives at home and pays ZERO for anything and doesn't work. (MIL doesn't work either, but she was a SAHM...) Then they complain to us about money, knowing we both work and have some to spare. I actually feel really bad for BIL as he's being enabled to never grow up. :-/ Not my favorite parenting choice... but then who am I to judge? Better to (try) and keep my mouth shut to avoid drama.

mirigirl

@alygohome  WTAF?! I am so sorry you have to deal with these crazy people!! You seem to have handled yourself well, especially by not getting financially involved with them! yikes! 

brij2006

Oh the family stories.  Every family always has that 1....

I'm pretty fortunate and have a great relationship with the in-laws and they are very helpful.

However, both my brother and BIL are enabled by our parents.  They have both been caught drunk driving and our parents bailed them out and paid many thousands of dollars for their lawyer fees to try and get them out of it (unsuccessfully).  My mom even goes to my brothers' home once a week to clean, do his laundry, and pay his bills (he's 31).  BIL lives with MIL and she does his laundry, cooks, and cleans (he's 25).  

H and I keep joking that we're going to move in with one set of our parents after baby is born and be waited on.  Why not?  Our brothers get away with it.  

foxslaw

krendel said:

@jaztastic I immediately thought of you and @psychobutthead when I saw this thread!

Literally who inspired me to make it (@lizjennings81 too). @krendel‌

jaztastic

Preface: DH is the oldest of 2 children from his mother and fathers marriage. He has a younger sister who is intellectually disabled (I hope this is the correct term, please forgive me and correct me if this is offensive) He also has one older sister from a previous relationship on his fathers side. 

Im going to give you 5 short stories for now... toooooo many stories to choose from, but I want to take you on a journey so I'll start from the beginning and try to leave out every offense she has ever made. 

Story #1... Let me take you back to dating days about 10 yrs ago. First time I met MIL, she introduced herself and her daughter as "Im the mother, and this is *Sister Name*. She is R******D, did he tell you that?". At the time I had NO CLUE that was an offensive term, but I was shocked because I had never heard anyone so bluntly say it like that in reference to a loved one... especially the first time meeting them. 

Story #2 ... Still dating: DH asked me to meet him at his mothers house because he needed to get some things from her. He had not long before we met moved out into his own place with a room mate. So he still had random items left at his mothers. Who by the way lived on a back alley street very creepy street, half surrounded by wooded area. I met him there around 8pm, but by it being fall it was quite dark out. I was out in the dark and cold for about 25 minutes ringing the doorbell, knocking quite hard and calling... and got no response. I left and a few minutes later my cell rings. Its him saying he was so sorry for missing my calls but he was in the basement. I turn around and go back to the house. Only to find out MIL was in the living room the ENTIRE time. She heard me outside. DH was furious with her, and asked why she didnt let me in or at least turn the outside lights on so I wouldnt be in the dark. She replied "if you knew she was coming you should have prepared for her. Its not my job to be your door keeper".  Now in what world is it cool to leave a young lady outside in the cold and dark in your creepy neighborhood??

Story #3... Gets deployment papers for the military, and proposes. The moment he tells his mother he is engaged she turns to me and starts talking about how much of a no good dead beat he is, and that he will turn out just like his father. DH just says that she didnt want to lose another man in her life and she is just jealous and not to think anything of it. He basically still helped her with bills and household stuff even after he moved out but now that another woman is seriously in his life she couldn't take it. After he left for on deployment orders she contacted me for money, because she knew I had access to his accounts. But I told her that I wasnt authorized to give withdraw anything, I only had his bank card info for purchases he wanted to make in regards to us getting our place together when he got home. I would have to wait until I reached him and got instructions on how to handle the situation. Well she didnt like that very much, and I became a no good thieving gold digger. 

Story #4... DH is still deployed in Iraq, so for Christmas I made him a video of all his friends and family sending well wishes and thoughts. Sent it to him along with a host of things to remind him of home and such. Keep in mind Im doing this in November so I could make sure it arrived in plenty of time for Christmas. Called his mom so she could be on the video and everything was great. We actually had a good time together that day. So fast forward to the week of Christmas, I went by to drop off gifts for her and his sister that I had purchased on DH behalf. Only to find a completely empty house. The next door neighbor informed me that she just moved one day. I tried calling, but she was know to change the number often so I just assumed I would get the new number when I went over there. But to my surprise, she is gone... and NO ONE knew where she was. I had to tell DH who is in Iraq, on Christmas day that I had no clue where is mother was. And even worse he had no way to contact his sister who is his heart!! The concern was even greater that since she was next of kin, should something have happened to him while deployed I would NEVER have found out (and neither would she). It wasnt until almost Valentines when we finally found out where she was. DH asked her why she would up and leave and not say anything and her response was "I was tired and Im grown"... whatever that means. He asked her about the stuff he still had in her place, and she said she got rid of anything he hadnt taken with him already. 

Story #5... DH I found out that one of my best friends who is also in my wedding, works with MIL. And how did I find this out? Because MIL is going around her office BASHING DH and me, and open boycotting the wedding. My best friend calls me and says, is your MIL named *****, I said yes. And then all the story that just blows my mind comes out of mouth. I called DH in tears. He addressed it with his mother who basically called my friend a liar and said she doesnt even know who my friend is. Now how can someone you dont know make up a story about you, but be accurate about all the details they give... but THEY are the liars. Hmmmm.... 

Fast forward a little bit. And to make amends MIL offers to treat us to our honeymoon. I thought it was quite a generous gift. She gave us 3 options and we choose one. She would be taking care of flights & hotel for us. 2 weeks before the wedding, Im pressing DH hard because we still hadnt heard anything or gotten any travel details. She had been telling him it would be a surprise. Only to find out the surprise was... she changed her mind and decided to do something else. So here we are 2 weeks away from our wedding with no honeymoon plans. Thankfully DH and were in the position to make things work but... here is what happened.

I cant forgive and forget the way DH can because its not my mother. So every time something happens it build and builds and builds until it gets to the point of HATRED. There are so many more stories I could tell you just from the year we moved in together alone that was brutal, and the year we got married was horrible. It just became a you go see her without me situation. Every time I try to forget and move on... here she comes with another episode of crazy I just cant deal with. 

-How about the time when we first moved into our place, and my entire family helped us move. My mother even came over and set up my kitchen for me. MIL asked when we would be done with all the hard stuff cause thats when she would come over. She came by and decided that she would rearrange the cabinets in the kitchen because she didnt like what my mother had done.

-How the time I didnt attend a mothers day brunch with my family because I was home cooking a really nice meal for Dh family, only for them not to show up because MIL wanted to go out to eat at the last minute. 

-But when we got pregnant the first time, she called everyday calling herself "checking up on me". When I MC'd, She asked DH what I did to her grandbabies. WTF says stuff like that... she never showed up, never came by to check on me, mail a card. That was the end of Oct 2011... DH and I decided to stop over her place for Thanksgiving because we hadnt seen or heard from her, and it was holiday, so the spirit of being thankful and forgiving was on our hearts. After we had dinner with my family we dropped pass, only to find out that she was hosting a huge thanksgiving dinner. She invited us in, and we talked for a few minutes. She asked us to stay for the blessing as people were coming in and setting up. We prayed and went around the room to say what we were thankful for... then she walked us to the door and said be safe. 

-Year before last DH was hospitalized for meningitis (this story makes me cry so I cant really give a lot of details). Just know that she came to the hospital not respecting the fact that HIS WIFE is privy to doctor information and details before his mother. She wasnt happy about the fact that she couldnt be in the room for certain procedures (even ones I wasnt allowed to be there for). She couldnt be the first to get updates, so she left saying that she was going to get me something to eat since I had been there for at that point, 16hrs without food... she never came back. 3 full days in the hospital and no word from his mother until he was about to be discharged. 

-I said I was going to give you only 5 stories but now Im on a roll and flood gates have opened.

Im going to skip to this year... DH had a birthday dinner where we invited, my parents, his mother and her BF, his father and his fiance, and his sister. We had a lovely dinner... fast forward to right after mothers day, and DH wanted to do the similar style thing as his birthday for fathers day. Have all the fathers in his life,  (mothers boyfriend included) around. She basically told him she didnt have a son anymore because he wouldnt choose her over his father. This was the huge fight I told you all about and why they stopped talking. It was UGLY I mean Ive never seen DH so pissed and mean towards his mother. She was wrong but so was he, and he may have said somethings that werent so nice to her. And the sucky part is we wanted all the family around for Fathers Day because we had just gotten pregnant and were announcing to immediate family on FD. 

This pretty much brings me up to speed with where you all come in. I told you all about how I kept encouraging him to reach out and how I was feeling bad for the baby, in that I wanted her around. (hormones does some crazy stuff to you). And then when he did reach out, she made her nasty remarks about calling CPS and taking the baby away from us. 

Well the day we got into a fight, she basically called me a slut and hoped that if we had a girl she didnt turn out like me... so 10 years of ignorance lunged me at her with my fist balled up. 

Sorry this is so damn long... but I really am glad to get this out. 

 

jaztastic

OMG... the typos are real in that post I just wrote. Dont cringe too bad okay, and no im not going to fix them. 

foxslaw

@jaztastic You win this thread. I have no words. You are truly a saint to put up with that.

jaztastic

I told yall she was BSC... Its not a joke. I dont say that to be funny. We really have issues... and people think Im being mean when I say I wont let her keep the kid unsupervised. Im afraid of what might happen. DH and I have gotten into arguments over her, and we had to make the agreement that no matter what we do not fight over his mother. He has even said (in efforts to justify her actions) "well you already know she is crazy". She does and says things that have made me think she needs an evaluation. But Im just the DIL so... whatever. 

Pray and again I say pray for my sanity. 

@foxslaw I commend you for reading that whole thing. I probably wouldve skipped it for being so long.