NBR - Family jewelry that is left to you

*sparky*

My dad's wife recently passed away and she apparently wanted me to have her wedding jewelry - engagement ring and two bands.  Which is super sweet and sentimental of her and I definitely appreciate her thinking of me.  However, I have no idea what to do with them other than just store them in their boxes.  They are not my size, and not my style if I did want to get them fitted for my fingers.  And I would feel weird altering them anyway, because I know she loved them exactly as they are.

SO if you have gotten anything like this, what did you do with it?  Is there some point where you did feel okay altering the piece(s) to be something you can actually wear?  Part of me thinks it would be nice to be able to wear this in some way to remember her, but I really would feel weird changing it. 

UnofficiallyLO

I inherited my grandmothers entire estate at 19 and that included a duffle bag full of jewelry. Initially I felt the need to keep it all but realized I wouldn't be doing her a disservice by passing her costume jewelry to others who would actually enjoy it. I have many pieces of hers that I never wear like broaches but they don't take up much space so I keep them to wear later in life or turn into other jewelry pieces. Perhaps wait until it's not so fresh but I would alter the rings so that you can wear them, if that's what you want, I would imagine she would want that if she left them to you. I'm sorry for your loss, although memories can be enough it is nice to have something to wear to carry her with you.

hotvanilla

I haven't personally inherited jewelry but my mom inherited her mom's wedding set when she passed. It's not her style and doesn't fit her so my mom decided to have earrings made for my sister and I and a necklace for herself. We all love having/wearing these new pieces. It's a great way to remember her and have something that was so special to my grandmother close to us. It is a little weird that her wedding set was taken apart but I think it would be sad for it to just sit in a drawer and collect dust. As far as timing you just need to wait until you feel ready. My mom waited about 6 months, even though I wasn't the one who inherited the rings this was too soon for me. I couldn't wear the earrings for a few months, everyone is ready at a different time.

*sparky*

@cortney411 - that is a nice idea.

@AprilMay9 - you are right, I am sure.  But I also worry about offending my dad who of course is the one that picked out and bought the rings. 

Either way I will not do anything immediately.

csmily51

I have my grandfathers mother's diamond wedding ring.  She was married in Hawaii, so it is a hibiscus flower setting with a 1ct diamond in the center.  I received it for my 18th birthday, and wear it as a right hand ring sometimes.  I also have some of my grandmothers jewelry, which was given to me for Olivia.  This I will save for her, and it will just get passed down.  Just stories and memories of family.  You could maybe wear them on her Birthday, holidays, etc to have a little piece of her with you and for your dad.  That way they stay in great shape, and are still being loved and remembered.

RedDawnsRevenge

I am also among the pp who say melt it down and have new pieces made for your girls.

LolaX2

My situation is a little different but similar. My grandmother is still alive but my grandfather passed when I was 16. I was the first grandchild and very close with both of them. About 10 years ago my grandmother remarried and gave me her diamond ring from my grandfather. I kept in in a box afraid to change it for a bit and afraid to wear it as a prong had broke and I didn't want to risk loosing the diamond. My grandma nudged me and asked me to have it made into something that I could and would wear. 

My DH had it reset into a ring with my grandmothers birthstones added and it is beautiful. I wear it on my right hand daily and it is so nice to have it here reminding me of both of them and making me smile. I will pass it down to my DD someday. 

lcr23

DH used his grandmothers diamond for my engagement ring. It is incredibly sentimental but it was done a few years after she passed. I agree with PP there's no rush if you do want to have something made with it.

irisheyez7

My father passed when I was a one year old. For my 21st Bday my mom gave me the engagement ring he gave her.  It is a one caret perfect diamond (unheard of these days) but it was in an outdated yellow gold setting so I just hid it with the jewelry my grandmother gave me. When my husband was planning on proposing he asked my mom if he could refit it. He had the diamond reset but kept the look of the ring similar, in a more modern white gold and fitted for my hand. I cherish this ring more than any new fangled rock he could have bought me! I cried so hard when he told me the story! My mother loves that he was so thoughtful and I wear it everyday and I love that it is the symbol of our marriage but also reminds me of my dear departed dad. I know he looks down and respects my husband for using something he gave my mother to make me happy.

*sparky*

Thank you everyone for your sweet stories. I will hold onto to these pieces for a while before doing anything but it would be nice to be able to wear them at some point although I would likely have the stones in the engagement ring made into a pendant rather than wear it as a ring. IDK what I would do with the stones in the other bands but having something made for my daughter is a nice idea.

brigsky

DH's grandma (his Dad's mom) chose him to receive the diamond from her wedding ring, because I guess she had a special fondness of him, and wanted it to go to his future wife.

I never met her before she passed but I am told she was very kind, healthy, and loved baseball; all things that I can relate to, coincidentally. She also made these amazing, like for real amazing, orange dipped sugar cookies and I can't boil water to save my life but every Christmas I try to make them because they are just slices of heaven. So, I think I would of gotten along with her quite nicely.

Long story short, DHs aunt was a jeweler, before she also passed, and made the diamond into a pendant that could be worn separately or in this white gold holder. She gave to DH to give to me on our 1 year wedding anniversary. I'm actually wearing it now, and am too lazy to take off and take a pic but it's definitely an honor to have and wear, considering she had 3 children and multiple grandchildren and I never met her.

Best of luck!

Helmink0804

Maybe since your dad bought them, when everything isn't so fresh, talk to him about it and see if he minds that you alter them and maybe have him help you deciding what to do with them.

I have an Opal ring that isn't my style that my grandma gave me that use to be my great grandmas and unfortunately there's nothing that can be done to it where I could wear it and like it. I just wear it every so often and when I'm around my grandma I try to wear it. Otherwise it sits in the little box in my jewelry box.

navyfiance18

My grandma and grandpa both left me a couple of extremely expensive diamonds- one (my grandmothers stone) I had set into my engagement ring before I got married, I asked to make sure it didn't offend my husband and he agreed we needed to keep it a tradition in the family.. I have a necklace with a large diamond center stone and I only use it for very special occasions and I also have another diamond set aside for my newest addition. I would wear it, that's what she wanted even if it's in a diff form she wanted you to be able to enjoy it however you wanted to.

Ashleypixie

After my grandmother died (very young, at 32) my grandfather took her diamonds and made them into a ring for himself. I obviously couldn't wear it when he passed it along to me so I had them set them around a beautiful aquamarine. It's a part of her as well as a part of him and now a part of me and I consider it as special. Much more sentimental than holding onto something you store away, and that I consider what the purpose was when she wanted you to have it. I would think she'd understand that you wouldn't want to wear her wedding bands.