NTTGPR- Pumpkin smashing

Jags8

DH and I were at a wedding last night, and when we arrived home this morning, we found our pumpkins smashed all over our front stoop and sidewalk. I posted a picture explaining what we found to our neighborhood fb page. It turns out a lot of people in our neighborhood had their pumpkins smashed, other decor ruined or stolen, and lots of "ding dong ditch" by kids (probably middle school-aged).

I was explaining to DH that I would be so embarrassed if I was a parent to those kids, and I'd be making them go door to door apologizing, and offering to repay or rake leaves. DH thinks that the pumpkin smashing isn't a big deal. I think it's vandalism and they should have consequences if found. So I'm just curious of the general consensus.

beepity

It's not ok to destroy another person's property. Even if it's just a pumpkin.

divinemsbee

I'd be pissed. And (and yes, I don't have kids yet/don't have kids that age yet/this is totally hypothetical/I won't know until I'm in the situation; did that cover all of it?) I'd like to think that if I found out it was my kid/s doing it I'd have them apologize and cover it out of their allowance if there was monetary damage. I get that they're decorations you leave outside, but a lot of them aren't cheap. Mine are mostly flowers this year (except for our wonderful zombie flamingos), but I'd be livid (and H would probably flip his lid) if I went outside tomorrow and found them dug up or messed with.

I mean, 'kids will be kids' works for messy eating toddlers or babies that get loud on planes. Nature of the beast. Messing with people's property and writing it off as 'kids will be kids' wtih middle schoolers is letting them off the hook. Now, ding-dong ditch (without the vandalism) is annoying but not as bad, but I'd still be totally embarrassed for my kid to be doing that.

However, mildly surprised that there are middle-school kids who would be out doing that at night rather than on their Xboxes or Facebooks or Instagrams. So, silver lining, at least they're out getting exercise? (Still would be pissed.)

catwine

Agree! It's vandalism and whoever did it should be punished.  

Mysh

First thread I've ever seen 100% one way and no SS answers!

ETA: Dangit, after 35 it was ruined.

thewickedfairy

We were ding dong ditched about a month ago. I'm still pissed about it. It was at midnight the night before DD's birthday party. We were already up because we decorating and getting various other things ready. But my kids were in bed.

Vandalism is vandalism no matter what it is being vandalized. I would be pissed if I found out either of my kids did anything like that and they WOULD be apologizing and doing something to make up for it.

Gizmo36

I work with middle and high schoolers.  Unfortunately, the ones I can picture doing something like that either have parents that get them out of a consequence every single time they get in trouble, or their parents don't care and have no structure/rules/consequences in the home.  

That amount of destruction does not sound like a one-time, momentary lapse in judgement.  While they definitely deserve some kind of consequence, I wouldn't rely on the parents to give one.

mosdub

I'm sorry @Mysh, I was the SS vote and now I'm re-thinking my quick vote. I agree that demolishing pumpkins or messing with/destroying/stealing other decor is straight up vandalism or theft.  That being said - if it's AFTER Halloween I almost feel like it's tradition for some pumpkin smashing to happen (being little trickster devils and all), but maybe that's just the culture of my own little bubble/neighborhood.

Smashing pumpkins before Halloween is not okay and I'm sorry @Jags8 for your decorations getting ruined.  Hopefully the culprits are caught and face consequences, even if it is just raking and apologizing.  

Jags8

Yah I won't be calling the cops, but if anyone else decides to (because other Halloween decor was ruined and/or stolen), I would chime in as one of the houses vandalized. 

@Gizmo36 I am totally with you! I also work with middle and high schoolers. You know what is sickening? I likely know the perpetrators. But you're right, in most cases the parents will either get them out of it, or not care enough to do anything about it.

@divinemsb great point about being outside and not sitting on xbox or their phones all night!

ShellyR

Ugh, this would piss me off. Stupid little punks. It is rude, disespectful, and deserves an apology. I'm sorry you had to come home to it. I imagine it feels like kind of a violation.

Jags8

CharlieFox30 said:

Ugh, I'm sorry. We had a few pumpkins stolen last weekend and I was PISSED. I told H that I'm putting in a motion light. 

ETA: Although I'm pretty sure that ours were stolen by drunk college-age kids which almost makes me more mad. 

Some people have put up trail cameras! 

daystardreams

I think that there should be consequences. I think that the kids parents should want them to have consequences. In my town there is an elderly man that makes a garden every year in the middle of town. He grows all sorts of things and sells them on the weekends. He also grows pumpkins that he donates to the community by allowing children to get a pumpkin each for free. This year right when the pumpkins were almost big enough to start selling/giving away, some kids came in and smashed all of them. One mother turned her son and all his friends in and the way I understand it they are all doing some type of community service. I'm still upset about what they did, I can't imagine how their parents felt.

Jags8

@daystardreams I want to high-five that mom!

Unburnt

Sometimes kids are jerks. I wouldn't consider this severe vandalism warranting an arrest.

Jags8

Unburnt said:

Sometimes kids are jerks. I wouldn't consider this severe vandalism warranting an arrest.

@Unburnt who the fuck said anything about being arrested? I said consequences. You know, a fine, doing community service, etc.

Unburnt

Jags8 said:

Unburnt said:

Sometimes kids are jerks. I wouldn't consider this severe vandalism warranting an arrest.

@Unburnt who the fuck said anything about being arrested? I said consequences. You know, a fine, doing community service, etc.

Calm down. I simply meant it as it sucks but really in the grand scheme of things, I wouldn't consider it a big deal. A pumpkin costs what? $8? Go buy a new pumpkin.

Jags8

Joy2611 said:

Your husband thinks it's no big deal to steal and destroy someone's property? Pumpkin or car - it's all about respect. The kids have none and that's horrible. Would your husband be apathetic to hear his kid smashed pumpkins up and down the street one night or would he punish?

He thinks the pumpkin part isn't a big deal. He thinks the other store-bought decor, as well as some other things that were vandalized, "is bullshit" (meaning he thinks it's wrong).

I just asked him what he would do if we found out a kid of ours smashed pumpkins, and he said he would "be disappointed." I told him that I would make our kid go door to door apologizing, and offering to buy new pumpkins, as well as offer to rake their leaves (or something similar). Basically, community service. He said "yah that would be good." 

Jags8

Unburnt said:

Unburnt said:

Sometimes kids are jerks. I wouldn't consider this severe vandalism warranting an arrest.

@Unburnt who the fuck said anything about being arrested? I said consequences. You know, a fine, doing community service, etc.

Calm down. I simply meant it as it sucks but really in the grand scheme of things, I wouldn't consider it a big deal. A pumpkin costs what? $8? Go buy a new pumpkin.

@Unburnt it's the principle. Don't vandalize other people's property. Also, I think you could use a break from the interwebz tonight until you make a recovery from your word vomiting. Feel better!

edit- spelling

MrsC0617

This kind of shit is despicable. If it were my kid I would absolutely want to know because I would make him apologize and replace the pumpkin with his allowance money.

I work with junior high students. Yes, kids are kids, but wrongdoing is wrongdoing.

pippacricket

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'd be wicked pissed if I came home to that mess! 

In my area, the kids have a cabbage night (I think it's the night before Halloween?) where they go around smashing any pumpkins out on porches/yards/etc. To this day I refuse to put pumpkins out because I'll lose my shit if some punks come and smash my pumpkins.

kayway85

I totally agree that it's not ok and I would be embarrassed to, if it were my kid.

Growing up, some kids used to smash pumpkins in our neighborhood the night of halloween, late at night, so when everyone woke up, there would be smashed pumpkins in their driveway. Super annoying, and yet, for some reason, it never really bothered me growing up. It was the sort of harmless mischief that halloween used to be about. I wouldn't call the police about something like smashing pumpkins ON halloween, but I agree that if it were my kid, id be disappointed.

However, destroying someone's pumpkin weeks before halloween and potentially damaging their yard or personal effects is really shitty.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

kelley72

Well, I find pumpkin smashing nothing more than a squished pumpkin, but if any property was damaged  or stolen then it is vandalism.  Ding dong ditching is annoying but also a pretty harmless childish act.  I have boys, they are pre/teens... yes, I've had a person come to my house and tell me about them ding donging.  I had them come to the door and apologize.  For me, the understanding for my boys is that property is Never to be destroyed or damaged and repeated ringing / knocking of the same person's door is not acceptable.  They really prefer to do it to their friends homes and then the friend has/will reciprocate.  

kelley72

cstuart07 said:

That sucks. It's happened to my parents before. If I found out who did it I would definitely demand an apology and a consequence from the perpetrators.

demanding an apology is likely to result in no apology worthy of being uttered, meaning you may get a half mumbled sorry but how likely is that to stem your anger?  Also, I just find the wording demanding a consequence a little high on the scale of threw a pumpkin and it broke into a gushy mess.  You could ask if they would be willing to clean up the mess and perhaps they would and also replace the pumpkin, but demands are not traditionally met well either by teens or their parents.

ToryKate

I am so sorry that happened to you  

I am SUPER protective of my home and my property. I always call the police if someone comes onto my property with the intention of doing harm. I have always lived in quiet, safe areas where the police are used to calls like that on the non emergency line, so I don't feel too weird or bad. I wouldn't trust the parents to punish them because from my experience growing up the only kids that did that shit had parents that were dropping the ball. Normally if the police catch them they just scare them a little if it is a first offense. I think those little jerks need a good scare. 

Jags8

@Joy2611‌ I grew up in the country, so I didn't know pumpkin smashing was actually a thing. In any case, I was a really well-behaved kid and teen. I can't imagine I would have done anything like that, had I lived in town.

My husband is an extremely laid-back person, so his lack of reaction isn't surprising. But I think once there are actual kids in our lives, his attitude will change.

kelley72

@fuzzylogic  I said use of the word demand will not typically equal a conciliatory attitude on the parts of the teens or their parents; at least it wouldn't with me and mine.  It is not up to you the victim of the prank (as I see it unless as originally stated in my first response property damage of more than a freaking pumpkin occurs) to ensure that the in this case imaginary pre/teens receive consequences or learn a lesson.  I just pricked my ears at the use of the word demand.  I think it is highly likely that if injured party requests in a civil manner than all parties are more likely to be happy with the consequences and the guilty party just might learn a little lesson.

kelley72

Guess none of y'all have either rolled a house as a teen (usually a friend or crush) or had your house rolled... I live in a pretty typical Georgia suburb and these type things happen all the time and it is No fucking big deal.  It is actually, to me, healthy and fairly harmless activity.  As long as No property damage say pick a number of over $10 occurs... It is messy to clean up wet, strung out toilet tissue but again really not that fucking big of a deal.  Calling the police over a pulped up pumpkin is a gross use of their time.

Mysh

ToryKate said:

I am so sorry that happened to you  

I am SUPER protective of my home and my property. I always call the police if someone comes onto my property with the intention of doing harm. I have always lived in quiet, safe areas where the police are used to calls like that on the non emergency line, so I don't feel too weird or bad. I wouldn't trust the parents to punish them because from my experience growing up the only kids that did that shit had parents that were dropping the ball. Normally if the police catch them they just scare them a little if it is a first offense. I think those little jerks need a good scare. 

One time a couple boys in my high school class came and TP'd my house. The policeman (single one on patrol at the time because we lived in a very small town) caught them, apprehended them and rang our doorbell. He asked my dad what we wanted him to do with them. Dad grabbed trash bags and had them clean up the mess. It never happened again. 

Jags8

kelley72 said:

Guess none of y'all have either rolled a house as a teen (usually a friend or crush) or had your house rolled... I live in a pretty typical Georgia suburb and these type things happen all the time and it is No fucking big deal.  It is actually, to me, healthy and fairly harmless activity.  As long as No property damage say pick a number of over $10 occurs... It is messy to clean up wet, strung out toilet tissue but again really not that fucking big of a deal.  Calling the police over a pulped up pumpkin is a gross use of their time.

JFC no one said anything about me calling the police. Consequences doesn't mean "call the cops."

kelley72

@fuzzylogic  why do you think it odd that kids would still ding dong ditch?  Yes, it happens.  It is a normal, fairly harmless act.  I disagree with your attitude regarding not being able to apologize enough.  A sincere apology, and attempt to make it right ex.purchase new pumpkin, clean up the mess, just one, is all it takes.  At that point if the person is still upset it is their resentment/ control issue not mine.  

I just think using the term property damage is not registering either with me or with others, a $10 pumpkin smashed is not to me property damage...

edit to say I really wish all of you the most sincere, well behaved children, with hearts of gold.... I know I wouldn't trade one iota of my children's personalities for anything other than what they are.  

Jags8

Also @kelley72‌ you're right, I have never TP-ed someone's house. Because I'm not an ass hole.

Jags8

Oh @DarcyHermione‌ thanks for reminding me! We have a neighborhood meeting tonight actually!

kelley72

@Jags8  glad to know you're not an asshole I guess  if playing a prank on your highschool crush = asshole to you then we definitely have a difference of opinion.

Mysh

kelley72 said:

@Jags8  glad to know you're not an asshole I guess  if playing a prank on your highschool crush = asshole to you then we definitely have a difference of opinion.

This doesn't sound like an isolated event or that it was perpetuated only on other households with teenagers. Also, Didn't Jags mention that decor was also damaged? These don't sound like run-of-the-mill harmless pranks to me. 

ToryKate

Jags8 said:

Guess none of y'all have either rolled a house as a teen (usually a friend or crush) or had your house rolled... I live in a pretty typical Georgia suburb and these type things happen all the time and it is No fucking big deal.  It is actually, to me, healthy and fairly harmless activity.  As long as No property damage say pick a number of over $10 occurs... It is messy to clean up wet, strung out toilet tissue but again really not that fucking big of a deal.  Calling the police over a pulped up pumpkin is a gross use of their time.

JFC no one said anything about me calling the police. Consequences doesn't mean "call the cops."

I said I call the cops (non emergency line only). But that was after Kelly went on a rant about cops not needing to be involved. And people like Kelly are the reason why I call the cops. Based on her comments in this thread she is the type to high-five her kids and stock up on eggs and toilet paper for the next night. 

kelley72

Mysh said:

kelley72 said:

@Jags8  glad to know you're not an asshole I guess  if playing a prank on your highschool crush = asshole to you then we definitely have a difference of opinion.

This doesn't sound like an isolated event or that it was perpetuated only on other households with teenagers. Also, Didn't Jags mention that decor was also damaged? These don't sound like run-of-the-mill harmless pranks to me. 

My comments weren't originally dictated by her exact situation, just a general idea that I don't think pumpkin smashing is that big of a deal.  I also very clearly stated that property damage is not acceptable.  I agree, it doesn't sound like harmless pranks which is why I think the tping thing = assholedom is a bit ridiculous... but whatever

kelley72

ToryKate said:

Jags8 said:

Guess none of y'all have either rolled a house as a teen (usually a friend or crush) or had your house rolled... I live in a pretty typical Georgia suburb and these type things happen all the time and it is No fucking big deal.  It is actually, to me, healthy and fairly harmless activity.  As long as No property damage say pick a number of over $10 occurs... It is messy to clean up wet, strung out toilet tissue but again really not that fucking big of a deal.  Calling the police over a pulped up pumpkin is a gross use of their time.

JFC no one said anything about me calling the police. Consequences doesn't mean "call the cops."

I said I call the cops (non emergency line only). But that was after Kelly went on a rant about cops not needing to be involved. And people like Kelly are the reason why I call the cops. Based on her comments in this thread she is the type to high-five her kids and stock up on eggs and toilet paper for the next night. 

I'm gonna guess you mean me, Kelley, of course you read my comments so well I'm not surprised you misspelled my name.  I wouldn't nor didn't high five them for ringing the doorbell more than 1 x, I had them come to the door and talk to the man they bothered.  We also discussed at length, and have again what constitutes a harmless prank as opposed to a more serious violation of to property, etc. I'm ok with you thinking I rant.  I also never mentioned eggs... 

Mysh

kelley72 said:

Mysh said:

kelley72 said:

@Jags8  glad to know you're not an asshole I guess  if playing a prank on your highschool crush = asshole to you then we definitely have a difference of opinion.

This doesn't sound like an isolated event or that it was perpetuated only on other households with teenagers. Also, Didn't Jags mention that decor was also damaged? These don't sound like run-of-the-mill harmless pranks to me. 

My comments weren't originally dictated by her exact situation, just a general idea that I don't think pumpkin smashing is that big of a deal.  I also very clearly stated that property damage is not acceptable.  I agree, it doesn't sound like harmless pranks which is why I think the tping thing = assholedom is a bit ridiculous... but whatever

Merriam-Webster defines asshole as a stupid, incompetent or detestable person. TPing, egging, smashing pumpkins, etc -- all that shit is a bitch to clean up. Does it cost money? No, but is it stupid, incompetent and detestable? Yes. 

kelley72

1. Ok, @Mysh  you win  I'm an asshole!   I'll wear my title proudly
   
   
2. 
   

Mysh

kelley72 said:

1. Ok, @Mysh  you win  I'm an asshole!   I'll wear my title proudly
   
   
2. 
   

Didn't you start the asshole talk by telling Jags you were glad she wasn't an asshole? 

Edit: Nope, I missed a post.

kelley72

@Mysh  I may have and I shouldn't have if I did.  I just don't feel like rereading reread. I'm over the pumpkin talk. I thought I made a generalized statement and I'm an asshole.  

edit: nope she brought the word up first I did reread, just trying to see again why all the angst... 

also @DaisyCat  I was referring to (harmless- this I believe is where we are disagreeing) pranks being a normal act for healthy pre/teens, you know not antisocial crazy scary damaging things but normal testing of boundaries... 

edit to add.