Smartass reponses to stupid comments

gsancho

So I'm a little peeved.  We tell MIL we are having a girl and her response is..."That's great!  Now you'll have to try again for a boy!"  Woman, do you know what we went through for this kid?!?!?  Calm the fuck down.  I feel like as we tell more people, that may be a comment I'll hear periodically.  I need to come up with a smartass answer - any ideas?

What are some snarky responses you have for dumb comments or advice people give?  I know if I'm going to be a mom, I have to get used to stupid, unwaranted advice...but I feel like I'll have an extra short fuse for anything related to conceiving or IVF.

gsancho

Maybe I can say, "Sure, just give me another $25K to spend" - that's all I got for now

Saintelizabeth

That's what I'd say. Something along the lines of "give me $25k and we'll try for a boy until then this kid is the only one you're going to get"

pblge

Ouch. That's a doozie! Perhaps, "Well if this grandchild isn't good enough for you, you don't have to see her!"

I need a response for people who want to lecture me about my behavior. I told three people at my workplace (mostly higher ups), and two of them gave me stern talks about what I was doing that they perceived to be bad for baby. The first was that I ate something nonorganic (Probably 90% of my food is organic) and the second that I was getting stressed out ( ) ) which is bad for my blood pressure and for the baby. Any good responses for those people?!

poohniki

I'd say something like " well at least her other grandma is really excited" but I'm known to be a bitch. Sorry she said that.

lincoln79

As for the later comments, I do my very best (but still often fail) to realize that the majority of the population has no idea about the pain and trials of infertility

Ignorance (or idiocy, whatever) is bliss.

To those who knew of our struggles and losses, I don't hold back. No more tolerance for that Sh$t.

When people are thoughtless and don't consider others feelings, I don't feel the need to spare theirs.

southernyankeegirl

First, YAYYYYYY for having a daughter! That's sooooo exciting!

Second, I am a jackass, so when people say crap like that, I always am rather confrontational. We get the opposite response - "Oh, your DH must be so excited!" And "Hopefully your next one will be a girl so you can do bows and monograms!" I say, "Actually, DH doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl. I don't either. What we care about is that we are finally going to get to be parents, after two long years of trying to have a baby, and months of expensive and intrusive fertility treatment, including having DH administer daily shots in my belly for months on end. So yeah, we don't really give a crap if it's a boy or a girl. And if we're lucky enough to have another child, we similarly won't give a crap."

Shame. I launch a big dish of shame right in their face. I hope it tastes like their foot in their mouth.

southernyankeegirl

Ooh ooh I have another!

"Why don't we celebrate this little girl? I really don't see the need to hope for a boy at this point. I am perfectly happy that I am having a baby girl, aren't you?

kmc84

Sorry your MIL was an ass... I have nothing I add, but I do like the use of asking 'why?' And turning it back on them!

Congratulations on a little girl! Yay!

gsancho

@hbanana18 DH responded with "one step at a time".  I think she was saying to try for a boy later b/c she probably wants to see the stereotypical "perfect" family of parents, a boy, a girl, dog, and cats.  And last week she had said she was hoping for a girl...so I don't think she was coming from a place of thinking a girl isn't good enough.  

As sweet as she can be, I've never found her to be very bright...she's said/done several airhead things throughout our TTC journey.  I just try to ignore her since she at least lives far away.

lib1974

I am on board with the 25k comment. And to add, the majority does have a clue about the trials of infertility so their comments come from ignorance. Bottom line is people say dumb shit without thinking all the time. I am 17 weeks, I have gained about 12 lbs so far and that is with all my meds taken into account and I have people ask me "are you sure you don't have two in there? " ugh. I am pretty petite, 5'4 and my belly just pokes out. People are so dumb.

FishyMom

I would have said "I'm sorry your disappointed that we are having a girl, DH and I are both very excited she is happy and heathy".

Congrats on having a girl!! So happy for you.

xc1148

pblge said:

Ouch. That's a doozie! Perhaps, "Well if this grandchild isn't good enough for you, you don't have to see her!"

I need a response for people who want to lecture me about my behavior. I told three people at my workplace (mostly higher ups), and two of them gave me stern talks about what I was doing that they perceived to be bad for baby. The first was that I ate something nonorganic (Probably 90% of my food is organic) and the second that I was getting stressed out ( ) ) which is bad for my blood pressure and for the baby. Any good responses for those people?!

Depends how snarky you want to be, you could say "i forget...remind me where you went to medical school?" but since they are higher-ups I'd just say "yea, everyone has a lot of opinions but I'm just going to follow my doctors advice." Or the funny response "my mom drank through my whole pregnancy and you hired me so I think it will work out"

The stress thing is idiotic...I usually just say "you realized commenting on my stress is making me more stressed right? why don't you book me a massage instead"

Momarazzi007

Sounds like our mils are twins. Mine told me not to have anymore kids BC she is happy w how many grandkids she has. I was an ass and told her glad she was able to have three kids and her daughter's had five between them. Glad her life is happy and comfortable but it was a horrible thing that she tell us that and she should be happy if we have another one bc if they ever ask I'll let them know she was perfectly happy without them. Oh and she told me this while my husband- her son was in hospital for week... So maybe I was more on edge but eff it, snarky and honest shut her up and she never said another thing about that

xc1148

Momarazzi007 said:

Sounds like our mils are twins. Mine told me not to have anymore kids BC she is happy w how many grandkids she has. I was an ass and told her glad she was able to have three kids and her daughter's had five between them. Glad her life is happy and comfortable but it was a horrible thing that she tell us that and she should be happy if we have another one bc if they ever ask I'll let them know she was perfectly happy without them. Oh and she told me this while my husband- her son was in hospital for week... So maybe I was more on edge but eff it, snarky and honest shut her up and she never said another thing about that

I don't think you were rude at all...in fact, I think you displayed miraculous restraint.

WA1215

Ugh. Yesterday, SIL told me we need to have 3 more. I snapped back, let's have this one first...and we were VERY lucky to have THIS pg. They just don't get it. Those who don't go through the struggle don't realize. My grandma recently came over and saw the room we will use for the nursery and she said, oh this room will fit 2 cribs at the same time, for the next baby. Smh.

AMShark

pblge said:

Ouch. That's a doozie! Perhaps, "Well if this grandchild isn't good enough for you, you don't have to see her!"

I need a response for people who want to lecture me about my behavior. I told three people at my workplace (mostly higher ups), and two of them gave me stern talks about what I was doing that they perceived to be bad for baby. The first was that I ate something nonorganic (Probably 90% of my food is organic) and the second that I was getting stressed out ( ) ) which is bad for my blood pressure and for the baby. Any good responses for those people?!

If only they weren't mostly higher ups, I'd probably tell them that while you already make the effort to eat 90% organic, hunting down that last 10% has just caused you so much *stress* that you absolutely had to take the mitigated risk of eating the evil, non-organic food item.  That oughtta shut'em up.

AFM - We told our family this weekend, and my dad said, "It's about time - What took you so long?"  I had no idea how completely clueless my dad was until that moment.

I think I said something along the lines of, "Well, if we'd gotten that team of medical doctors involved sooner, maybe it would have happened before."  Seriously dad, where have you been the past 6 years?

lcloffredo

I am about to have twin girls and have a 2yo daughter already. Some of the comments you hear are jaw dropping that a stranger would ask that. Are you going to get snipped now? Now you HAVE to try for a boy! One time somebody who has all girls said that it's great and somebody else said that depends on who you ask. I told her it was a good thing God didn't ask her opinion because I love my girls! Besides, the number of kids you have is very personal. If we would have had trouble conceiving the first time around then the decision to try again would have been harder to make. The SIF board talks about it a lot (how people always talk about how you should have another).

KT416

I wish I had some witty comments! My FIL said something along the lines "oh when you have two kids...." I wanted to say something like you are very fortunate to be getting one right now. He doesn't know about our TTC journey though.

I'm getting a lot of .... "Oh I bet it's twins. Twins run in the family" "No we had an ultrasound, just one" "Oh, well it can be hiding!!" I want to say, well, we only transferred one egg and we had a shit ton of ultrasounds already, so I'm pretty sure it's just one".