Setting Dates To Start Conceiving

abharrel

Hello all. I haven't posted in a while but I'm been reading posts. My husband and I just celebrated our one year anniversary October 12th, and we've been talking about kids and such. (If I had the resources I would have a baby right now) The two options we have thought out and I'm not sure which makes the most sense. We were talking about either trying to conceive around May/June (when I'll be done with school finally) or allow myself to get a job for a little while and then try for a baby. I'm not entirely sure which would be more efficient for my husband and I, and I was just wondering which you all thought would be best.

Jags8

Well really it's up to you, and how your finances are/insurance. And also your potential job's maternity leave policies.

abharrel

thanks for the responses My husband has assured me either way would be possible for us to do, so I guess its all down to what we prefer.

and about the time it takes to conceive, posts and things I've read said that usually the women who said it took them a while to get pregnant weren't tracking their ovulation times and such, and once they started tracking it they conceived quickly. I was hoping I could just track my body stats (ovulation, temp, etc) and be it would be easy to conceive.

Jags8

I agree with @Kimbus22‌ Tracking bbt and other signs helps you pinpoint good timing, but it doesn't guarantee that sperm meets egg. I do chart and got pregnant on the 2nd cycle, but lost it. I'm now on cycle 5, and no luck yet.

abharrel

Wow reading these responses is kinda discouraging but I guess it's better to realize it might take a while instead of getting stressed when it doesn't happen on the first try. Thank you for the responses

ChristyM87

abharrel said:

Wow reading these responses is kinda discouraging but I guess it's better to realize it might take a while instead of getting stressed when it doesn't happen on the first try. Thank you for the responses

Yeah assuming it is going to happen on the first try is just setting yourself up for failure IMO. Myhusband and I just started trying and he seems to think that the first time we had sex with out birth control or a condom we were going to get pregnant. I had to tell him that isn't how it works

ChristyM87

piccyami said:

ChristyM87 said:

abharrel said:

Wow reading these responses is kinda discouraging but I guess it's better to realize it might take a while instead of getting stressed when it doesn't happen on the first try. Thank you for the responses

Yeah assuming it is going to happen on the first try is just setting yourself up for failure IMO. Myhusband and I just started trying and he seems to think that the first time we had sex with out birth control or a condom we were going to get pregnant. I had to tell him that isn't how it works

This was MH.  It can take just one time, but probability is against you.


It doesn't help that he knows several couples with extensive medical problems that got pregnant the first month trying, so of course he thinks that will also be us

amelyse39

I just read an article that says 30% of couple get pregnant their first cycle trying and almost 60% get pregnant within the first three cycles. So don't get discouraged just because people who've responded have taken longer than that.

amelyse39

LDubHawksFan said:

I just read an article that says 30% of couple get pregnant their first cycle trying and almost 60% get pregnant within the first three cycles. So don't get discouraged just because people who've responded have taken longer than that.

With perfect timing, the stat is that you have a 20% chance of conceiving any cycle. So I think your first number is skewed. I do believe it is at least 50% of couples will conceive in 6 months, and like 85% within a year. I don't like your last sentence. Just because we are being realistic, doesn't mean she has to be discouraged. Thinking you will get KU right away could set you up for getting discouraged.

those are 2 different stats. a couple has a 20% chance of getting pregnant during any cycle and 30% of couples TTC are successful within one cycle. Here's what the article said:

The majority of couples get pregnant within three months. Your own timeline could be longer if you're older, have certain fertility-unfriendly habits (like smoking), or have a condition that impairs fertility.

Of all couples trying to conceive, here's about how long it takes:

• 30 percent get pregnant the first cycle (about one month)
• 59 percent get pregnant within three cycles (about three months)
• 80 percent get pregnant within six cycles (about six months)
• 85 percent get pregnant within 12 cycles (about one year)
• 91 percent get pregnant within 36 cycles (about three years)
• 93 to 95 percent get pregnant within 48 cycles (about four years)
  

divinemsbee

@Joy2611 ((creepy internet hugs)) Stats are comforting at first and then become a nightmare. It sucks when you reach the other side of them. I'm sorry.

abharrel

Patently false.

I am on cycle thirteen of no viable pregnancy.

EDIT: Tracking ovulation doesn't make it easier to conceive, exactly.  It gives you the tools to determine if you are hitting the right times.  Many women just assume they ovulate CD14 and have sex around then.  But, if you are ovulating on CD22 - you're just completely missing the window.

I've charted my ovulation for twenty three cycles.  We've not used ANY contraception for thirteen of these.  I had one miscarriage.  We're doing everything right.

Assuming that charting will get you pregnant right away is just naive.

I don't think I'm naive but I just know I was told that that thinking pregnancy will happen within the first month or so is stupid. I just stated that because I have read stories here where women said once they started tracking they got pregnant. I honestly thought I wouldn't have any trouble with getting pregnant because my mom got off birth control and got pregnant with me within the first month, and my mother in law got pregnant with my husband while she was on birth control. Honestly I don't know how the whole sperm meeting with the egg thing will be for me.

dogperson11

abharrel said:

thanks for the responses My husband has assured me either way would be possible for us to do, so I guess its all down to what we prefer.

and about the time it takes to conceive, posts and things I've read said that usually the women who said it took them a while to get pregnant weren't tracking their ovulation times and such, and once they started tracking it they conceived quickly. I was hoping I could just track my body stats (ovulation, temp, etc) and be it would be easy to conceive.

Do you have any involvement with your family finances? Has your husband taken medical expenses (paying your deductible for OB visits / labor and delivery, meeting your plan's deductible, increased monthly premium for adding a dependent, etc), daycare expenses, baby essential expenses (diapers/wipes, etc), maternity expenses (a new wardrobe, possibly loss of income if you're put on bed rest), etc. into account?

amelyse39

14whitney said:

those are 2 different stats. a couple has a 20% chance of getting pregnant during any cycle and 30% of couples TTC are successful within one cycle. Here's what the article said:

The majority of couples get pregnant within three months. Your own timeline could be longer if you're older, have certain fertility-unfriendly habits (like smoking), or have a condition that impairs fertility.

Of all couples trying to conceive, here's about how long it takes:

• 30 percent get pregnant the first cycle (about one month)
• 59 percent get pregnant within three cycles (about three months)
• 80 percent get pregnant within six cycles (about six months)
• 85 percent get pregnant within 12 cycles (about one year)
• 91 percent get pregnant within 36 cycles (about three years)
• 93 to 95 percent get pregnant within 48 cycles (about four years)
  

That's some bullshit. Baby Center stats = LOL <-- lots of lies or laughs. Whatever.

Funny because my doctor said something very similar to those stats. 

amelyse39

14whitney said:

14whitney said:

those are 2 different stats. a couple has a 20% chance of getting pregnant during any cycle and 30% of couples TTC are successful within one cycle. Here's what the article said:

The majority of couples get pregnant within three months. Your own timeline could be longer if you're older, have certain fertility-unfriendly habits (like smoking), or have a condition that impairs fertility.

Of all couples trying to conceive, here's about how long it takes:

• 30 percent get pregnant the first cycle (about one month)
• 59 percent get pregnant within three cycles (about three months)
• 80 percent get pregnant within six cycles (about six months)
• 85 percent get pregnant within 12 cycles (about one year)
• 91 percent get pregnant within 36 cycles (about three years)
• 93 to 95 percent get pregnant within 48 cycles (about four years)
  

That's some bullshit. Baby Center stats = LOL <-- lots of lies or laughs. Whatever.

Funny because my doctor said something very similar to those stats. 

Oh cool. That totally changes my opinion.

I guess being on a message board makes you the equivalent of an MD? I actually dont remember asking for or caring about your opinion.

amelyse39

14whitney said:

I guess being on a message board makes you the equivalent of an MD? I actually dont remember asking for or caring about your opinion.

You're cute.

:-@

abharrel

My husband understands and knows the finances. He has made rough estimates of how much preliminary things would be (like the furniture, car seats, formula if needed, etc. We also checked into how much insurance covers and we also have an emergency fund of at least 2000 dollars in the bank always. So yes I think he has taken everything into account. There are always hiccups along the way, such as things we didn't plan for, but I think we have funds to cover those as well.

PolarBear517

Finances are the obvious thing but it sounds like those have been considered...

Although there are definitely employers who will work with you, they don't HAVE to grant you FMLA unless you've been employed for a full year & have met a minimum hour requirement. Likewise, regardless of anti discrimination policies, many employers will opt for a candidate who is not pregnant over one who is visibly pregnant because they want to avoid having an employee take maternity leave not long after starting (some may even fear that you won't return after the birth)

I never imagined it would take 7 months after graduating to find my first full time job, but it did. I have friends who had job searches draw out for more than a year. If I had been thinking about TTC at that time, I probably would have wanted to wait until my due date would push past my 1 year work anniversary so that would have been 10-11 months post grad before TTC

So, ha, guess I'm not helping just know that if you choose to pursue a career first it could extend your TTC date further than expected, but conceiving could also delay the start of your career further than expected. Prioritize the one that makes the most sense for your situation.

SanRemo

I was temping for 2 years before realizing there was a problem. I then went to see an RE and it took another 3 years after that to get my first.

Babies are expensive and so is pregnancy. I think it is great that you are looking for real life experiences and that you and your boyfriend have been discussing these things. Frankly I don't know if a $2000 cushion will cover everything. I would work towards having at least $5000.00. It is amazing the amount of things you want and need to buy. Plus diapers are really expensive. Also you will owe money to the hospital, insurance normally does not cover 100% of the birth and if you have complications it could get really pricey.

For the boyfriend and financial aspect, you need to have a will in place prior to the pregnancy. If something happens to either of you, there needs to be a medical directive. Also your banks need to have a "payout on death" paper signed by both of you. These are not the fun and exciting parts of babies and pregnancy but they are important. I almost died the night I gave birth to my youngest and my husband was asked about my choices. I never anticipated that could happen.

If you want to have a home daycare, I would start looking into the laws in your state. I would also finish school, get the daycare up and running and then start for the baby. This is of course my opinion and you need to do what is right for you.