Attn Cosleepers

UnofficiallyLO

I know there aren't many of us on this board that cosleep but AP board is quiet so I wanted to touch base with those who are/were cosleeping with baby. I feel like I have 30 questions but I'll start with-
How often does your LO wake at night and do you get them back to sleep by nursing/bottle, back rubs, rocking, shushing?
When did you/do you plan on transitioning LO out of your bed? How do you plan on doing this?

JWest07

Glad you posted this, I have the same questions. I only partially bed share, doing in when LO stirs and doesn't settle easily. I do suspect that many night feedings are because my presence sparks the idea. I don't know how to get him closer to STTN so we can transition him to DS1 room.

Rrrrrachel

We have a crib by the bed and the baby just moves back and forth when needed. Generally if he wakes up I nurse him or my husband rocks and cuddles him.

Rrrrrachel

Mine has actually slept through the night (the real kind) a few times in his crib by the bed. I don't think my daughter ever once did that until she was two.

lokimau

She might wake up once. Not in any hurry to transition her since we are at my inlaws (pretty much a studio apartment/inlaw suite) the crib is across from our bed. Able to do some naps there but not night at all

Teresa1896

We co sleep (P&P next to our bed), not bed share. I plan to move LO into his crib in his sister's room when he's consistently sttn. Just so I don't have to get up and walk down the hall numerous times overnight.

sking72

We're bed sharing and LO has been waking up way too much. She was waking up every hour and a half or so. I stopped nursing her when she wakes up, just give her the pacifier and she will fall back asleep eventually. I nurse her before bed at like 9:30, when she wakes up around 5, and then when we are really up for the day. It's been exhausting and really rough trying to get her to stop waking up all the time.

nicole mackenzie

I side nurse to sleep around 7pm and place LO in pnp next to my bed. Then I go eat and unwind with DH. We come to bed around 9-10pm sometimes this wakes LO up. I try singing and rubbing her back, sometimes she goes back to sleep or I nurse again at which point LO ces into our bed for the night.

I rotate sides as she wakes to eat around 2am and or 5am. She'd like to sleep until 7:30am but DH prolly wakes her when he gets up around 4:30-5 and then I wake her to get her dressed and ready for daycare around 6am

Heating oil is expensive and so I'm not in a rush. She'll be in our bed or at least our room till spring.

Rrrrrachel

I wish I had bed shared (if we're going to be that way about it) with my daughter. I could've saved myself so much grief. I was so worried not just about suffocation but about her wanting to be in our bed forever. Guess what, she's three, never bed shared, and still comes in our room at night wanting to sleep in our bed.

MissWhis

I'm glad you started this thread! We bed share and I've been wondering about how other families deal with some of the logistics involved.

The amount of times she is up at night varies. I'd say there are generally two true wakings to nurse (around 1:30 and 4:30). It's hard to know for sure since I'm awake so briefly when it happens. A few weeks ago she was waking up a ton and just wanting boob in her mouth CONSTANTLY which drove me crazy and made me start thinking about some kind of transition. Then suddenly it stopped as quickly as it started.

I really like bed sharing and I think I'm as attached to it as she is. It's not without its problems, though. The thing that is the most challenging is that now that's she's older she wants me in there with her all the time. She goes to bed around 7, but some nights will be up every 30 minutes until I go to bed at 10. I used to put her down at 8 and she'd sleep until 4:30 or later! What happened to that sleeper?!

I feel like no matter what we did with this kid it's just in her nature to be a high-maintenance sleeper. I'm totally picturing her to be like @Rrrrrachel‌ 's
daughter and still waking me up when she's 3. I'd like to work with her to be able to sleep a little more independently, but even the gentlest sleep training is going to lead to a ton of crying with her. I'm okay with letting her fuss, but anything more than that would have to be after all other options were exhausted.

Any advice from BTDT moms on how to make the eventual transition?

Rrrrrachel

Yes my daughter is a high maintenance sleeper. I think that's just who she is. For awhile she had us up more than the baby.

MommaY4814

We bed share, usually 2/3 dream feeds at night. Also curious as to when most moms transition to their own bed/room...

belindahampton

Bed share here. We usually do 2 dream feeds a night. If he wakes more than that then I sit up and rock him a little bit and he falls right back asleep.

I don't really have a plan to transition, I just know that this is so much easier for us (bfing and lo is a needy sleeper) and will continue to bed share until it's not.

Abcollins57

Rrrrrachel said:

Yes my daughter is a high maintenance sleeper. I think that's just who she is. For awhile she had us up more than the baby.

My oldest used to come into our room every night to sleep with us, but he was rough to sleep with. I started making a pallet on the floor next to our bed, so he would just come in and lay down and fall asleep. Most nights I wouldn't even realize he was there. We all slept better after that!

Abcollins57

LO sleeps from 8:00 to 5:00, then gets in bed with us to snuggle for that last hour or so. We quit MOTN feedings at five months, and he started sleeping all night. I plan to let him stay in my room until about one because the thought of leaving him alone all night freaks me out.

UnofficiallyLO

Happy to see these responses, thank you!
I don't know anyone personally who bedshares so once we got over the initial "is that safe" response we've graduated to "when is he moving to his crib"? I wouldn't be phased by this but LO has been so wakeful/hungry lately, as a few pps mentioned I can't help but wonder if it's because he knows the goods are right next to him.
He's off the charts in size and I've been feeding him homemade purées 3 times a day and introduced some formula to supplement (before bed time) last week. I'm trying to make sure he is full/close to STTN before I do move him to the PNP in our room or even his crib. I like cosleeping but the initial convenience of it seems to be back firing and I'm too apprehensive to transition him in this stage- at 3 months he woke 1-2 times a night to nurse, he's now waking 5-6.

J&NL

He sleeps in his crib the first half of the night and depending on how tired I am, I either sleep with him on the guest bed in his room or I'll just bring him to my bed after DH goes to work.

Shelbysteffens

With bed sharing he wakes up anywhere from 1-3 times a night, with teething it's been more often. We've started the transition to the crib. He now naps in his crib at every nap and at night is in his crib from 8 or 9 to usually 2 am. At which point he comes into bed with us, but I think if I just fed him and put him down he would stay asleep.

We started the transition about a month ago because it seemed like all of our sleep was being affected by bed sharing, his noises woke us up, and ours woke him. He seems to sleep better out of our bed, and has gone to bed easier and wakes up less. I hope to have him out of our bed for the most part with in the next month or so.

Rrrrrachel

It's entirely possible he would be up that much regardless and it has nothing to do with cosleeping.

nicole mackenzie

Vinny424 said:

UnofficiallyLO said:

Happy to see these responses, thank you!
I don't know anyone personally who bedshares so once we got over the initial "is that safe" response we've graduated to "when is he moving to his crib"? I wouldn't be phased by this but LO has been so wakeful/hungry lately, as a few pps mentioned I can't help but wonder if it's because he knows the goods are right next to him.
He's off the charts in size and I've been feeding him homemade purées 3 times a day and introduced some formula to supplement (before bed time) last week. I'm trying to make sure he is full/close to STTN before I do move him to the PNP in our room or even his crib. I like cosleeping but the initial convenience of it seems to be back firing and I'm too apprehensive to transition him in this stage- at 3 months he woke 1-2 times a night to nurse, he's now waking 5-6.

DS had a few night where he was needy. I don't know if it was a growth spurt or just not feel too well but I slept with a boob out and he'd find it and comfort nurse on his own with me really needing to do anything.

Lo gave me a hicky sucking on my boob while I was sleeping

JanMommy2under2

Question:  I wonder if babies who sleep in their own beds sleep better?  When my son was younger he was in the RNP next to our bed, and he would stir, or our talking/coughing would wake him up.  I rarely take naps with him in the late morning with bed sharing and he doesn't sleep as long because the second he stirs he gets the oh its mom I want to play attitude.  However if he's in his own bed he take about 4 naps a day with his longest almost 2 hours in the afternoon, and sleeps from 8pm-8/8:30am, rarely stirring at about 5:30 because hes scooted himself to the corner of his crib and wants his binky back.  So did any of you not bed share or co sleep with your previous kids and notice them sleep better?  It's just a thought I had, I'm in no way attacking anyone who co-sleeps or bed shares.  

Rrrrrachel

It just depends on the baby. Some really do need their own space. Biologically they're evolved to sleep close to their mom, though.

janice9821

We bed share. It shouldn't be taboo but it is to a lot of people - I'd never tell my coworkers (caseworker in children's services).

Cora goes down at 7 in either her swing or pnp downstairs and I hang out with hubby. She wakes up between 9 and 10 and we go upstairs. I nurse her and we snuggle and she falls right asleep. She eats again around 3 and is up for the day around 6. If she wakes up between those times I can usually rub her back and she'll fall right back sleep. Except for the last two weeks, which have been an all night poop and dance party.

ETA: we don't have any specific plans to transition to the crib. We just recently got her to start napping in the pnp and swing which has been awesome because DH and I actually get some time for each other. I have no idea how we did it - we just kept trying and one day she just fell asleep with minimal fussing.

chichi589

Chase sleeps at least the first half of the night in his crib for the last 2 weeks. Before all we did was bed share mostly because I was pulled out of work so early I only was able to take 7 weeks off with him before going back to work and I was exhausted. It worked for us since I could just nurse him back to sleep side lying and sleep myself. I NEVER thought I would co sleep but I loved it so much. I look forward to those MOTN snuggles. I'm transitioning because I think he sleeps better in his own space. He now only wakes up once and comes into bed with me where he snuggles with his bottle (no more nursing :() and passes back out. He is still in my room though.. I'm not ready to move him.

catnip4632

DS starts out in his pack and play about 9pm and usually makes it until 1 or 2 am. After that, he's in bed with hubby and I. I love it. He sleeps better. I tell people and honestly don't care when they start on their tirades about "spoiled babies". . Whatever works and keeps you sane.

J&NL

It just depends. Some nights he sleeps in his crib and then other nights he sleeps with me. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I let him sleep with me after he wakes for his first night feeding and I end up sleeping better. My DD always slept in her crib though and she started sttn around a year.

strawberrytree

He goes down in the little PnP we have next to the bed and sleeps there for part of the night. Wakes around 11:30ish to nurse, goes back in his bed, then wakes around 3ish as well and I usually keep him in bed with me at that point. He starts to stir around 5, and when I have him next to me I can keep him sleeping for another 2ish hours.

For naptime, he can sleep on his own but I prefer to lie down with him for his long afternoon nap if my 2 year old's nap permits it. I love bedsharing. Around 6-7 months is when we transitioned ds1 but I don't want to stop right now.

lokimau

I hate getting side eyed at my moms group when I mention bed sharing. They are all bitching about not getting enough sleep and I talked about what works for us. They say oh beds hating would never for work for me. I liked space. Blah blah blah.

Enjoy your space and two hours of sleep. I will enjoy my baby snuggles and 9 hours of sleep!!!

Rrrrrachel

Btw even researchers critical of cosleeping admit any increased risk is gone after four months.

Missy0581

I've been bed sharing with my LO and he is now 6 months old. He was sleeping through the night but just recently the past few days he's started waking up at 1 and I would put the pacifier in his mouth and reposition him and he go back to sleep and then wake up again at 4 and he would fall back asleep until 6. He goes to bed between 7-8 pm. I've thinking about to transition him to his crib slowly. A lot of ppl have given me flack for doing it. But he is my first and a nurse scared the crap out if me about SIDS.

But I have so many ppl telling me it's time to put him in his crib. I'm not too sure what to do anymore. I'm thinking about maybe trying it out.