Parenting after a Loss

Sleep training recommendations please.

Susan is seven months and sleeps horrible. At two months she was sleeping six to nine hours. Now I'm lucky if she sleeps three hours at a time. I'm pretty sure I created my misery but I'm ready to change. I need recommendations on a sleep training method. I prefer no cry but also need it to be effective. Thanks?
BFP#1 02/19/12 missed mc 03/30/12 1st D&C 05/16/12 2nd D&C 08/17/12 
BFP #2 06/26/13 EDD 2/26/14 Hoping for my rainbow baby!
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Re: Sleep training recommendations please.

  • I am having similar problems. We looked into SleepSense and some ladies said they had success with it but I don't get it, it seems just like CIO and I don't think that would work with Baby Boots.  Someone suggested the Baby Whisperer and I downloaded the eBook tips, that is non-CIO. 

    See my post about SleepSense from a few days ago. I hope you find something that works! 
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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  • Why do you think you created your own misery? I ask because that might help give you clues about why she's waking and crying out for you.

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    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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  • @mamato3boys‌ can you tell me the name of the book? I would love to try this method out. Seems like a pretty good balance for me. Thank you!
    BFP#1 02/19/12 missed mc 03/30/12 1st D&C 05/16/12 2nd D&C 08/17/12 
    BFP #2 06/26/13 EDD 2/26/14 Hoping for my rainbow baby!
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  • We also used the Ferber method. I was at my wits end, functioning barely above zombie level, and cried to DH that I could not keep going on like that. He actually got the book based on a recommendation from a colleague of his. DS was sleeping about 10 hours straight within a week. I will admit that the first night was tough, but there such an improvement by night 2 that I didn't have any hesitation continuing.

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    Lilypie - (0YVF)
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    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • @mamato3boys‌ I second mamalambs question? I'm still BFing too
    BFP#1 02/19/12 missed mc 03/30/12 1st D&C 05/16/12 2nd D&C 08/17/12 
    BFP #2 06/26/13 EDD 2/26/14 Hoping for my rainbow baby!
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  • klbowie said:

    @mamato3boys‌ I second mamalambs question? I'm still BFing too

    DS was still nursing when we did sleep training. I only did the "training" at bedtime, however, after a week he no longer woke during the night to nurse. My pedi explained that DS really didn't need to nurse at night but was actually using it to sooth himself back to sleeps. Once he learned to go to sleep on his own, he no longer needed those nursing sessions and self weaned at night.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • Thank you ladies for all the help. I'm going to go buy that book today and hopefully start training soon. So looking forward to some sleep. I think the Ferber method maybe be a perfect compromise. I don't mind let her cry little but a long time I cannot do.
    BFP#1 02/19/12 missed mc 03/30/12 1st D&C 05/16/12 2nd D&C 08/17/12 
    BFP #2 06/26/13 EDD 2/26/14 Hoping for my rainbow baby!
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  • We did sleep training while I was still BFing.  I noticed a trend while she was sleeping in our room, that she was often waking up and looking for comfort.  She wasn't really hungry.  She was also waking up from DH's snoring, etc.  Occasionally she would sleep 6+ hours, so I knew she was okay to not eat in the middle of the night.  When we moved her into her room, we started working on just soothing her without BFing.   We used the Baby Whisperer Techniques.  I couldn't do CIO.

    Like PP said, M was an awful napper, but once she learned to self-soothe it improved.  Sleep really begets sleep.   The better M sleeps at night, the better her napping is.  At 13 months, she will now request a nap.

    TTC started Oct '10
    Me: AMA w/RSD, atypical PCOS w/IR, LPD and High Prolactin. Controlled HP post-loss.
    DH: Low-T and borderline morph
    18 cycles, 3 medicated w/RE to get to a BFP!
    EDD 9/7/12, Saw HB @7w3d,missed m/c 1/30 @8w3d, d&c 2/8
    11 AL cycles, 9 medicated/IUI cycles. All BFFN!
    Moving forward with IVF
    BFP#2 our little cycle break surprise on AL cycle 12! EDD 10/27/13
    Beta #1: 41 Beta #2: 398; perfect u/s 3/11 hb @133bpm
    u/s 3/25 one perfect hb @183 bpm, adjusted EDD 10/23/13
    MaterniT21 and carrier screens normal. It's a girl!!!
    Severe Pre-E, HFpEF, PE, AMA & IF= OAD

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  • edited October 2014
    We used Ferber as well and saw a difference within 2-3 days.

    I was a lot more diligent about putting this LO down drowsy but awake from the beginning so I'm hoping to avoid sleep training with him since he's already 1029823x better at sleeping and putting himself back to sleep if he wakes than DS1 ever was but if we regress I'll probably do Ferber again!

    Also, I recommend if you use any method that involves crying, to put some headphones on and watch the clock. Sometimes when you are listening to LO cry it seems like 15 minutes have passed when it's really been like 3 minutes.
  • Wifey xoWifey xo member
    edited October 2014
    Just wanted to add, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child. (Did not see it mentioned). Tate was put in his crib from day one in our room, but was moved to his own room at 6 months and has slept through the night since, (has his moments, not perfect, but pretty darn good). What I liked about this book, was that the CIO was not for all babies. It showed me where my son fell on the chart of "personality". I really thought he was very whiny, but was actually very easy going. I chose the modified CIO based on this. I gave him a lot of comfort but also allowed him to learn to settle himself. I would not allow screaming ( which he rarely ever did), but some babies are just calmer babies, so I feel like there is not just one solution that is effective for all. I put the book on my iPad. **Sp

     

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    Me:41/ lean PCOS, 2 clotting disorders, IC/ DH:41~ TTC since 1/11
    Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
    IVF#1~ 8/2012~ 13 frosties~ BFP! OHSS
    12/4/12 Luke & Kyle born @ 18 weeks
    SHG+ Hysteroscopy+ FET= BFP | Cerclage+ Lovenox+ 5m Bed Rest
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  • By Marc Weissbluth MD.

     

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    Me:41/ lean PCOS, 2 clotting disorders, IC/ DH:41~ TTC since 1/11
    Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
    IVF#1~ 8/2012~ 13 frosties~ BFP! OHSS
    12/4/12 Luke & Kyle born @ 18 weeks
    SHG+ Hysteroscopy+ FET= BFP | Cerclage+ Lovenox+ 5m Bed Rest
    ~Our wee guy is here! 11/27/13~

    PAL January Siggy Challenge~ Good Advice

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  • Wifey xo said:
    Just wanted to add, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child. (Did not see it mentioned). Tate was put in his crib from day one in our room, but was moved to his own room at 6 months and has slept through the night since, (has his moments, not perfect, but pretty darn good). What I liked about this book, was that the CIO was not for all babies. It showed me where my son fell on the chart of "personality". I really thought he was very whiny, but was actually very easy going. I chose the modified CIO based on this. I gave him a lot of comfort but also allowed him to learn to settle himself. I would not allow screaming ( which he rarely ever did), but some babies are just calmer babies, so I feel like there is not just one solution that is effective for all. I put the book on my iPad. **Sp
    I have several friends that swear by this one too.   My pedi also recommends it.  If the techniques we used didn't work, I was going to read this book next.

    TTC started Oct '10
    Me: AMA w/RSD, atypical PCOS w/IR, LPD and High Prolactin. Controlled HP post-loss.
    DH: Low-T and borderline morph
    18 cycles, 3 medicated w/RE to get to a BFP!
    EDD 9/7/12, Saw HB @7w3d,missed m/c 1/30 @8w3d, d&c 2/8
    11 AL cycles, 9 medicated/IUI cycles. All BFFN!
    Moving forward with IVF
    BFP#2 our little cycle break surprise on AL cycle 12! EDD 10/27/13
    Beta #1: 41 Beta #2: 398; perfect u/s 3/11 hb @133bpm
    u/s 3/25 one perfect hb @183 bpm, adjusted EDD 10/23/13
    MaterniT21 and carrier screens normal. It's a girl!!!
    Severe Pre-E, HFpEF, PE, AMA & IF= OAD

    imageimageimage
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    All IF/AL Welcome!
  • I also loved Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy child for the info, but I found it lacked an actual plan. I used the Sleep Easy Solution with B at almost 5 months. She was waking up every 1.5 hrs during the night and I was losing my mind. She has never been a good sleeper and we fall into bad habits so easily. I'm constantly referring to the book and do "tune-ups" every few months. When I went back to work she started waking at 4:30 every morning and I would have driven off a cliff it that had continued. It's semi-cry it out in the sense that you do let them cry, by you go in and reassure them at timed intervals. It literally saved my sanity. I actually have ebook copies of both of these books I can send you if you PM me your email address.

    If anyone wants copies, just PM me. Free ebooks for everyone!!! lol :)

    BFP #1: 12/26/11, EDD 09/05/12; m/c discovered: 02/22/12 @ 12w u/s,
    D&C: 03/08/12 Waited for AF for 146 long days!
    Hysteroscopy/D&C on July 10th to fix blocked cervix (DX: Cervical Stenosis)
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