Parenting after a Loss

Lilly is 2 months old.. I guess I should intro! :)

Hey girls! A lot of you I know, some I don't, so I am looking forward to catch up with old names and getting to know the new ones. I'm Lisa, married to Jon, we have 4 angels and our first rainbow babe was born 7-28-14 via c-section. I had a whirlwind of a delivery, my birth story is posted below if you would like to read the novel. Lol

I was set to be induced July 28th at 39+3, had to be at the hospital at 6 a.m., well Miss Lilly had other plans, DH and I went to bed around 11 the night of the 27th, I had been having contractions all day that day, but nothing regular. The pains began coming every 10-15 mins starting about 9:30 so I took a nice long soak in the tub, watched some t.v. then went to bed. Finally about 1:30 a.m. the pains got so bad I had to get up and go to the bathroom, well on the way to the bathroom, I began leaking, so I ran back to wake DH up and then the real "flood" came. We made it to the hospital in roughly 20 mins, got to L&D and got checked in, they hooked me up and contractions were running 4-5 minutes apart. The nurse came in and checked me, I was 2 cm dilated, 100% effaced and at -2 station. The nurse called my doctor and told her I was there and she said she would be there to see me around 7 a.m. and they would start me on pitocin then. My doctor came in at 6:45 checked me, I hadn't dilated anymore since I was check at about 2:30 so she went ahead and started the pitocin. The contractions at this time were about 1.5-2 mins apart and getting pretty strong but still semi-bearable so I opted out of the epi just yet.

Everything was going smoothly, until 10 a.m., my contractions became almost unbearable, I begged for my epi. The nurse came in, checked me, I was dilated to 3 so she went ahead and called the anesthesiologist in to place the epidural. The anesthesiologist got in my room about 11 and began doing the epi, well the epi only was taking effect on my left side, so he pulled the needle out some to reposition it, still didn't work, pulled it out completely and tried it again, semi-got it that time. My left side=COMPLETELY numb, my right side=numb enough to make it bearable. I was checked again at 12- dilated to 6, checked at 1- dilated to 8.5, checked again at 2:30- dilated to 10!! Started pushing at around 3, pushed on and off until around 6:30 (by 4:30 the epi, wore off on my right side so I was "natural" on my right side).

By this time, my blood pressure began to drop with every contraction and Lilly's heart rate began skyrocketing with every contraction and I begun to have a fever. My cervix had also begun to swell from all the the pushing, the reason she wasn't coming out was because my pubic bones just couldn't fit her head through, every time I would push, her head would start coming through the "suck" right back up in there whenever I stopped pushing. The nurse began talking about a c-section, saying at this point it would probably be the safest way to get the baby out, I agreed. She called my doctor and my doc got to my room around 7:15 p.m. talk to me for a minute and she was going to allow my hubby and my mother to be in the operating room with me, so they got all dressed up and my doc said, "see you on the other side."

I get to the OR, scared out of my mind but also excited knowing I would be looking at my rainbow baby in a matter or minutes!! They helped me over to the operating table and took my epi out to put a spinal block in since my epi wasn't working properly. My doctor was in there talking to me to calm me down, we were sitting here joking as the anesthesiologist was attempting to put the spinal in. The spinal, of course, was having problems going in, the small needle couldn't quite reach the place it needed to so doc tried again.... didn't work, so he had to put the "big" needle in, that worked, a little too well. Instead of letting me sit up for a minute for the medicine to completely work on my pelvic area only, they laid me back and as soon as I laid back, my hands began to go numb, cue panic. I asked was this normal (I knew it wasn't I've had a spinal before) and they said "yes", next thing you know, I felt the medicine slowly creep up my mid section, up my arms and to my shoulders, next thing I knew, I felt NOTHING from the neck down, I was paralyzed!

I began to feel as if I couldn't breathe, I began to panic and telling my doctor to help me, (the OR team was still prepping) I couldn't breathe. One of the nurses kept saying, you're talking so you're breathing, just try and take deep breaths, I tried to take deep breaths and it was like the air was doing in and not coming back out! I just remember looking around and trying to say "help", I COULD NOT breath, by this time there was absolutely NO sound coming out of my mouth, I was just mouthing the words. I hear my doctor say, "everyone move, I she is not talking, she can not breathe, I have got to do this NOW!" The anesthesiologist then says that my blood pressure had dropped to 90/40 and my lips had turned blue and started raising his voice "she's quit breathing!" He then took the nose oxygen off and held my jaw up and pressed a mask hard over my nose and mouth and began pumping oxygen into me. (spare in mind, I am completely awake, listening to all this and knowing they are talking about ME!) The next thing I hear is my baby girl crying and my doctor telling me that I had a beautiful baby girl! The nurse came up to me telling me she was giving me some medicine to help me calm down the just go with it if it made me sleepy.

It began to start flashing in and out almost like dream sequences. I remember asking how much she weighed then I remember them bringing her to me to give her a kiss before they took her to my husband, who btw didn't get to come in. I don't remember really anything else until late, late that night. When I finally "came to" I was back in my room, I could move and my hubby was holding the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen!! I had given birth to a beautiful 7lb 6oz 21" long healthy baby girl!! I tried to get her to latch and she did right away like a champ!

Fast forward to the next day (Tuesday) they took the catheter out and let me stand up to take a shower for the first time, it felt so good but so bad at the same time. lol I felt like a child learning to walk all over again! I started getting a really really had migraine and my neck became very stiff, I couldn't move it, I made my nurse aware of what was going on and she said she thought I had a spinal headache and she was going to call the anesthesiologist in to talk to me. He came to see me the next day (Wednesday), we discussed what was going on and he said that I was experiencing a spinal headache and that he suggested I get a spinal patch done to patch up the leak in my spinal cord. Within 30 minutes, I was being wheeled downstairs for the patch. I was told to lay as flat as possible for atleast 12 hours, which I did the best I could with breast feeding and all. Thursday morning I got my staples taken out, seemed like the patch had worked so the doc let me go home by noon. I get home and I started having a few sharp pains shoot down my legs causing them to buckle, I chalked it up to the spinal and to rest. By Thursday evening, I could not walk unassisted!

I got DH to call up to L&D to see if what I was experiencing was normal and they said yes. Well by Saturday, the headaches were back, stiff neck was back and I still could exactly walk properly by myself unless I walked bent over so DH took me to the ER. They took me right on in, checked my BP and it was up to 180/95 so they sent me to a room and hooked me up to an EKG, took bloodwork and urine by catheter. The doc come in and believed I could quite possibly have pre-e after pregnancy, which apparently you can have for up to 3 months after birth. I was then admitted to the hospital (baby was with her gma and she had to give her b-milk supplement), after being monitored all night my BP came down some and my blood work come back good so on to MRI to see what was going on in my back.

We got the results back from the MRI.... I had a slipped disc due to pushing so hard during labor!! So, another night in the hospital to wait and see the neurologist the next day. The next day the doc come in and said I had a slight slipped disc that was pressing on a few nerves, causing the shooting pains down my legs. Rest for the next 4-6 weeks, and after that slowly began doing minor things until I feel better.

I am now for the most part healed from everything and loving mommy life!! :)
(USE TO BE, WISH2BEMOMMY). 1st BFP ever Aug. 16, 2010.... 1st OB appt. Sept. 8, 2010, u/s showed poss. blighted ovum.... b/w 9/8/10 22,698 b/w 9/10/10 14,521.... mmc confirmed, started naturally m/c 9/15/10, d & c 9/16/10 I love you my precious monkey!! 2nd BFP March 2011.... c/p, miss you lil one!! 3rd BFP Nov. 20, 2011, subcornial hemorrhage detected 11/24/11 heartbeat found.... LO's heartbeat lost 11/25/11.... d & c 11/26/11..... I love and miss you so much baby!!!! C/P 4/26/12.... gone before I knew you.... off BCP 10-1-13.. BFP 11-20-13.. SCH for 7 weeks.. 3-4-14: It's a Girl!.. 4-22-12 emergency cerclage placed..7-7-14 cerclage removed at 36w.. delivered Lillian Marie 7-28-14..
 "An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth"

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♥♡♥ PAL/PGAL welcome♥♡♥

Re: Lilly is 2 months old.. I guess I should intro! :)

  • Hi fellow Sunday Ticker Changer!  Welcome and congrats!  I'm sorry your birth experience was so rough but glad you and L are doing well now.
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Welcome, good to see you!  I had a rough c-section too. Would have much preferred to do things the natural way, but it all worked out. Glad your story has a happy ending too! 
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • Welcome! Nice to see you over here. :)

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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    January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
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  • What a cutie! Congrats!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • Welcome! I had a tough time with my csection. I so wish I could have delivered naturally but my DS just wouldn't fit.
    BFP #1 7/23/12: EDD 4/1/13.  MMC discovered on 9/4/12 @ 10w1d
    BFP# 2 3/9/13:  EDD 11/12/13 m/c 3/15/13 @ 5w3d
    RPL testing shows one copy of MTHFR gene mutation. 
     BFP#3 12/24/13: EDD 9/5/14 Beta #1 13 DPO 168! Beta #2 16 DPO 895!
     First US 1/9/14 @ 5w6d Strong HB!
    2nd US 1/23/14 @ 7w6d baby is still doing great! 3rd US 1/31/14  9w0d: Beautiful wiggly baby! Keep growing baby!
    3/17/14 US @ 15w3d:Its a BOY!

     

    My rainbow baby Isaac has arrived! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Congratulations, and welcome!

     

                                                                   imageimage

    Me:41/ lean PCOS, 2 clotting disorders, IC/ DH:41~ TTC since 1/11
    Clomid 50mg,100mg,150mg | Injectables + IUI#1 & IUI#2= BFN
    IVF#1~ 8/2012~ 13 frosties~ BFP! OHSS
    12/4/12 Luke & Kyle born @ 18 weeks
    SHG+ Hysteroscopy+ FET= BFP | Cerclage+ Lovenox+ 5m Bed Rest
    ~Our wee guy is here! 11/27/13~

    PAL January Siggy Challenge~ Good Advice

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  • Welcome and congrats on that beautiful baby girl!

    Wow, that is one amazing birth story.  I'm so happy that after all of that, you are feeling mostly normal.  I'm sorry you had such a rough experience.

     

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    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</a>[url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/43ff7d]
    [img]http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/43ff7d/ttc.png[/img]
    [/
    RA with Sjogren's Syndrome. Risk of heart block in newborn. Age: DH and I are both 38.
    BFP #1: 11/25/2007, EDD 7/28/2008 - Missed m/c (blighted ovum) 12/6/2007 6w3d, D&C 1/3/2008.
    BFP #2: 4/2008 - Natural m/c at 6w.
    Met with RE in 5/2008 full cycle analysis and SA normal. Not considered high risk for blood clots but prescribed 1 baby aspirin a day precautionary during TTC and Progesterone suppositories during 1st trimester of pregnancy.
    BFP #3: 10/17/2008. EDD 6/23/2009,  Third time's the charm! Healthy baby boy born 6/27/2009 via emergency c-section.
    BFP #4: 6/14/2011. Healthy baby boy born 2/16/2012 via elective c-section.
    BFP #5: 1/15/2014. EDD 9/22/2014. 
    2/17/14:.We have a BABY!!! Heart rate 167 and measuring on time. 3/10/14 u/s #2 baby measuring perfectly at 12 weeks at heart rate of 166. NT u/s was normal. Maternit21 blood draw on 3/5/14. Results back on 3/19 - Normal.  It's a BOY!!!  4/10/14 at 16 weeks, 3 days discovered baby's heart stopped at 15 weeks, 6 days. D&C 4/11/14.  Pathology results were all normal.  New information on 8/11/14 - blood test revealed 1/3 of babys blood was in mine caused, most likely, by a tear in the placenta from extreme coughing.  Doctor believes this to be the cause of death.  Repeat D&C and Hysteroscopy scheduled for 8/19/14.  My Chart

  • Yay I'm glad you intro'd! Your baby girl is beautiful!!

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    BFP#1 D&C May 18th 2012 at 9 wks. EDD Dec 17 2012
    BFP#2 CP Sept 17th 2012 at 4.5 wks. EDD May 23 2013
    BFP#3 EDD June 24th 2013 IT'S A GIRL!
    BFP#4 EDD March 2 2015
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Welcome, and congrats on your little beauty! And holy cats, what a rollercoaster birth story! I'm so glad you pulled through relatively unscathed. Hugs to you as you move forward on this journey. I had a traumatic birth and it took me some time to come to terms with it. It helps to have a cuddly little squish at home to help distract you and get you through tough days. Congrats again!
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