Parenting is not for the weak.

Into+the+Kitty

Does anyone want to share their current parenting struggles? I'm feeling really down and defeated, but I'd rather have a post where we can all share and commiserate rather than just make an AW thread.

bumpuser5078523

I'm struggling with Logan (1 1/2 years). Right before Anders was born, he went into his terrible twos early, I think. He is mean and doesn't listen. He hits and gets into everything he knows not to. I know this is normal, and that's fine, but he is taking all my attention and poor Anders gets the short end of the stick. It makes me sad and frustrated, especially lately, now that Anders is staying awake more. (He's almost 6 weeks.)

What are you struggling with, ITK? Hugs!

Nvywife

I'm struggling with my 6 year old who all of a sudden has separation anxiety since I have become pregnant. I go to drop him off at school and he just cries and won't leave my side. So bad that the teacher has to insist and pull him along with her to class. It was just starting to get better and they let his teacher go this week due to budget cuts. So now we are starting all over with a new teacher.

TJ1979

I'm struggling with getting through to E. She is SO LOUD all.the.time. She doesn't understand be quiet. She ignores us when we tell her to stop yelling. She is physically incapable of not talking. And sometimes I just really need a little bit of quiet. She wakes P up from naps all the time too bc she will scream right by P's door. She just doesn't get it when we tell her no. Ugh!

I hope things get better ITK. I found parenting really difficult during my pregnancy too, especially towards the end. I think they know something is going on and start acting out.

Kelly11235

I just wish mine would stop biting the electrical cords.

It's like he thinks he's a puppy.

sarenu1

My husband and my mother can both put C down in the crib and have him sleep there all night with like maybe 2 wakings. I'm lucky if I can get him to sleep for 4 hours in it.

E still isn't potty trained at all and has no interest in using the potty.

CLLDLL

G went through the terrible twos early too. He's starting to get a tiny bit more reasonable at 2. Now he's getting more picky about what he eats. If I give him grapes and he wanted an Apple it turns into a complete melt down. So not fun.

D is 8 almost 9 but he selectively listens and argues like a teenager. It's awful. Daily I have to do the whole deep breathing/counting thing before I talk to him. It's so challenging. A part of me is scared that I will loose it and say something I regret to him out of frustration and then he won't trust me like he does anymore. Why did I have kids again?

sasq09

Hugs to all. I'm getting frustrated with L and motn waking. Due to construction on our house she has to sleep in our room and she is a super light sleeper so we wake her up often. When I get her back to sleep and put her in the crib, dh almost without fail moves around and the bed makes noise and frequently I have to start all over. I do all motn wakings, and he doesn't seem to have any clue how noisy he can be. It also makes me irrationally upset and mean in the motn. And, because I'm crazy I guess, I really want to night wean because I want to ttc #2 and I just don't see that happening anytime soon.

freezorburn

I'm struggling with guilt. I've got DS in daycare 3.5 days a week plus his nanny comes for another half day once a week. On the one hand I feel like it needs to be this way right now because I just don't have the energy and creativity to keep him active and engaged all day long, and the social time away from me is really good for him. And I need the time by myself, too, not only to take care of my responsibilities at home but to also take care of myself. And on the other hand I know that there is only so much time before he realises that he is a separate entity from me and that maybe I should be cherishing this stage of development and be spending as much time with him as I possibly can. But most days I'm not up to it, and I need the break so that the time we do have together is good quality time.

abby8279

My 7 yr old is driving me crazy lately.  One minute she is being super sassy and defiant.  Then the next she is saying "momma I love you"  and giving me a hug out of the blue.  I don't know who this moody little girl is!?!

abby8279

@TJ1979

With DD#2 I am like:

Then she is like:

Therefore, I HAVE to put DD#2 and DD#3 down for a nap at the same time.

bumpuser9353653

I was ready for a beer at noon and wine by 4. R has been whiney lately because she refuses to nap. Whining is the worst. And she's so incredibly capable of PLing and even asks to usethe bathroom at Wegmans (supermarket) but still poops in her diaper and lies about being wet/dirty.

Also, A has been really fidgety at the boob which is super frustrating, especially when she unlatches during letdown and everything gets sprayed.

Mandmeesh

Chickypoo2468 said:

I contemplated giving up having all the babies so I could have a sewing room upstairs the other day.

ETA not a parenting issue, but I thought perhaps it expressed my desire to cry uncle at times.
Like when I stare out the window and just picture myself running across our field. And into the corn. And as far as I can until I disappear.

I had this vision today...just running away

Mandmeesh

I don't know what's going on with me. But M being clingy the last 72 hours is starting to make me want to scream. Like SCREAM. he will not go to mh at all. He didn't nap today until 4:30.
I'm with @CLLDLL‌ ...why did I have a kid?!?!?!

flummadiddle85

Oh the screaming.... DS1 can be so incredibly sweet sometimes, and he can be such a good big brother. And then, there's just all the screaming. If I walk into a room without him, during diaper changes (which also includes kicking now, so I can't wear DS2 while changing his diaper for fear of #2 getting hurt), and for who knows what else. I think it's gotten better in the last month at least, but I'm also just as exhausted as ever. So by the end of the day, I'm wearing thin on patience. He also never listens to no from me. But apparently he does from other people. 

Also, I feel like I'm on my own almost all the time. It seems the only breaks I get are when I'm teaching some lessons, or the maybe 1hour at night when both boys are in bed and I'm still awake. DH is either working, teaching lessons at home, or working on the house. Sanding and staining that stupid deck is taking up any kind of free time he has. Which means I have both boys all the time. 

Mandmeesh

And M just woke up after sleeping for 5 minutes. Cue my tears

Mandmeesh

Chickypoo2468 said:

Meesh, I feel you need to leave the house for a bit and go sit in a coffee shop maybe? Or a bar?

Yes. Coffee shop. All I tried to do was go downstairs to gather my sewing stuff I started working on before...and he coughed and woke up.

Mandmeesh

stringy813 said:

Chickypoo2468 said:

Meesh, I feel you need to leave the house for a bit and go sit in a coffee shop maybe? Or a bar?

This. And is he still not feeling well? I know when the clingy stages happen here and whoever is being clung to needs a break- it's best to leave the house altogether vs trying to get space in another room. They will survive.

He's mostly better. Still mucousy.

Into+the+Kitty

First off,

big hugs to everyone.

I am at my wits end with A. She doesn't listen to anything we say, she's been hitting us a lot, and just throws these epic tantrums. I know a lot of it is the insecurity of the pregnancy looming, but I am just so tired. I am not sleeping well in any way, on top of getting tons of contractions like all day long, am in pain 24/7, and just have no patience whatsoever. So she does something, and I pretty much just immediately snap and go to yelling, and everything escalates so quickly. It's at the point that a lot of the time I just don't even enjoy being around her. 

That running away feeling? It's a huge fantasy here too. 

I don't feel just like I'm not doing a great job, I feel like I'm completely failing at it. And things are just going to get harder with adding another baby. What the fuck did I even get myself into? And cue the ugly tears.

flummadiddle85

stringy813 said:

Hey do any of you have MOPS by you? They're at churches but I was taking to my friend that just started the local one and she said it's for all moms, regardless of religion. We had our first meeting last month and I've been looking forward to the next one every day since then. It's only once a month too, so not a huge commitment. But it was so great, and so refreshing. I seriously recommend it.

What's it stand for?

Moms of preschoolers. MySIL has suggested I go with her. Our church also has POLOS. But I haven't gone to either.

flummadiddle85

freezorburn said:

I'm struggling with guilt. I've got DS in daycare 3.5 days a week plus his nanny comes for another half day once a week. On the one hand I feel like it needs to be this way right now because I just don't have the energy and creativity to keep him active and engaged all day long, and the social time away from me is really good for him. And I need the time by myself, too, not only to take care of my responsibilities at home but to also take care of myself. And on the other hand I know that there is only so much time before he realises that he is a separate entity from me and that maybe I should be cherishing this stage of development and be spending as much time with him as I possibly can. But most days I'm not up to it, and I need the break so that the time we do have together is good quality time.

I have guilt about not giving DS1 enough social interaction with others. And not being able to give either boy enough attention. And about sometimes wondering what if we had waited a little bit longer for another. And about everything. Cuz apparently moms feel guilty about everything.

ComeMai

Hugs to everyone!  I'm so glad to see that I'm not alone in struggling.  ITK, 3 (or almost 3) is just hard!  Some days I feel like I am losing my mind.  I will ask DD1 if she wants applesauce or a cheese stick.  She says applesauce, so I walk to the fridge, get it out and she screams, NO! I want a cheese stick.  It makes me think that I'm unable to follow a simple conversation anymore.  Like somehow I miss her real answers and I'm just getting everything wrong.

We are also in a hitting and biting phase.  DD2 fights back by grabbing a fistful of DD1's hair and pulling hard.  She then looks at her hand to see how much she was able to pull out.  It makes grocery shopping an adventure.  Last time I escaped by myself for a few hours without them, DD1 found the blue Sharpie and colored in the beige tile grout in a 10 ft. section of the kitchen floor.  DH says he checked on her and she was happily playing with blocks.  He came back into the room a few minutes later and she'd caused chaos.  The good news is that Clorox Cleanup works wonders on grout. :-)

ETA: spelling

Roxie5739

Hugs to all. I don't know where to start here. A nearly jumped out of my arms today/nearly fell all over a test of wills, I lost it, I wanted to hop on a plane right there and then and go home, I lashed out at DH. We had been up for 15 mins. Some days I wonder why I did this and then A is a darling and I could not imagine life without him. I have not cried PP at all but I feel I need a good cry now, A is 16+ months old. Argh....

freezorburn

I get the running away feeling too. Especially last year when DH had the crazy travel schedule. I think it's a sign that I'm not taking good enough care of myself.

CLLDLL

@flummadiddle85‌ Oh boy, I get the kicking at diaper changes too. I keep trying to explain to G that if he kicks it takes me longer than if he'd just let me change him and be done. Also you're doing a great job as a mom of two. You gave both boys the gift of a brother, and even though some days are rough they will come out of it just fine. Maybe even better than if you'd waited longer to have baby #2; they'll know how to share and be patient. Someday!

@Mandmeesh‌ ((hugs)) sickness is the worst. Here's to hoping he slept better for you last night.

ITK - D was a lot older than A when I was KU with G, but we still had a lot of the same struggles you describe. I think it's a combo of the oldest kid's insecurities about the new baby, your fear/nervousness about how things will be with the new baby, and those awful pregnancy hormones. The feeling I got when I brought G home from the hospital and D asked a million questions about him made up for how tough the prior 6 months were. We still have rough days here and there, but life is good and I'm surviving with two just fine. You will too!!!

Kelly11235

 I think we've renamed our child to "No! Stop that! Leave it!!"

sarenu1

Kelly11235 said:

 I think we've renamed our child to "No! Stop that! Leave it!!"

I may have the Jr version of this.

Amores0121

I am struggling with my 7 yo daughter who acts horribly most of the time since the baby was born. She acts like a teenager, gets angry about everything, screams and talks to me like shit. And then MH gets home and she's an angel. Most of the time I don't want to be around her bc of how she talks to me. I'm so glad the baby doesn't talk yet.

freezorburn

@mamalamb10 you just described our first 2 years with DS. Hang in there and be good to yourself!

Mandmeesh

@CLLDLL‌ M did sleep better last night! His nap was so late and therefore didn't fall asleep until 10. But we got 10p-2a and then 2-6a and then I slept in his bed until...like 9:45 and he woke up once or twice.

CLLDLL

Mandmeesh said:

@CLLDLL‌ M did sleep better last night! His nap was so late and therefore didn't fall asleep until 10. But we got 10p-2a and then 2-6a and then I slept in his bed until...like 9:45 and he woke up once or twice.

That's great to hear! Hope he's on the downhill of this illness.

flummadiddle85

CLLDLL said:

@flummadiddle85‌ Oh boy, I get the kicking at diaper changes too. I keep trying to explain to G that if he kicks it takes me longer than if he'd just let me change him and be done. Also you're doing a great job as a mom of two. You gave both boys the gift of a brother, and even though some days are rough they will come out of it just fine. Maybe even better than if you'd waited longer to have baby #2; they'll know how to share and be patient. Someday! @Mandmeesh‌ ((hugs)) sickness is the worst. Here's to hoping he slept better for you last night. ITK - D was a lot older than A when I was KU with G, but we still had a lot of the same struggles you describe. I think it's a combo of the oldest kid's insecurities about the new baby, your fear/nervousness about how things will be with the new baby, and those awful pregnancy hormones. The feeling I got when I brought G home from the hospital and D asked a million questions about him made up for how tough the prior 6 months were. We still have rough days here and there, but life is good and I'm surviving with two just fine. You will too!!!

Aw, thanks @clldll. Really, I think we do pretty well most days, but it's still pretty exhausting sometimes. And I guess there's just always that nagging feeling of I should do more, or I'm not doing enough. Which I should stop. And I hope DS1 stays so sweet to his brother, and they are best buds. The kicking during diaper changes isn't just kicking, it's kicking me. And he thinks it's hilarious.

flummadiddle85

Chickypoo2468 said:

Omg J kicks me in the ribs during changes. But he's not laughing, he's pissed. What is up with these kids.

Oh, he starts off pissed. Then realizes how fun kicking is, then starts laughing and kicking me. I have to plan when I change his diaper for when DS2 isn't being worn. I swear I need to tie this kid down fo changes. The best ones are when he's poopy, kicking, and grabbing his poop covered butt to get poop covered hands.

tjkdlhb

Kelly11235 said:

 I think we've renamed our child to "No! Stop that! Leave it!!"

My 2 year old actually thought my nephew's name was "No Matt"  She used to walk around after him calling him that because that's all she heard in reference to him!


I was changing my 4 month old today on the bed, and my daughter was there, hugging and kissing him.  Suddenly he screamed and started crying.  I thought I had accidentally squat his ball or something, until I noticed the teeth marks on his head.  She bit him on the forehead (he has red marks still hours later) for no apparent reason. 

freezorburn

DS went through a biting stage over the summer. But I was the only person he was biting. And according to him, it was hilarious.

Into+the+Kitty

tjkdlhb said:

Kelly11235 said:

 I think we've renamed our child to "No! Stop that! Leave it!!"

My 2 year old actually thought my nephew's name was "No Matt"  She used to walk around after him calling him that because that's all she heard in reference to him!


I was changing my 4 month old today on the bed, and my daughter was there, hugging and kissing him.  Suddenly he screamed and started crying.  I thought I had accidentally squat his ball or something, until I noticed the teeth marks on his head.  She bit him on the forehead (he has red marks still hours later) for no apparent reason. 

A would do this to me all the time. She'd come nuzzle up to my neck and then bite me really hard. It made me wonder if I had given birth to a little vampire.

Kids are in.sane.

TJ1979

Other TJ - sorry but I giggled a little. But only bc this has happened to us too. Toddlers.

flummadiddle85

Chickypoo2468 said:

Chickypoo2468 said:

Omg J kicks me in the ribs during changes. But he's not laughing, he's pissed. What is up with these kids.

Oh, he starts off pissed. Then realizes how fun kicking is, then starts laughing and kicking me. I have to plan when I change his diaper for when DS2 isn't being worn. I swear I need to tie this kid down fo changes. The best ones are when he's poopy, kicking, and grabbing his poop covered butt to get poop covered hands.

Yup. J grabs everywhere, then flips over onto his belly. Then when I'm trying to lay him back down he's arching his back into a full on semi circle. And there's still usually poop in his butt. And he's kicking everything off the changing table. And grabbing the hanging baskets and throwing things out of them. I absolutely dread diaper changes. And this boy is making me eat every word I have ever said. Apparently L was the perfect child, bc he makes everything so hard and not what I had imagined it would be like. The exact opposite of what it was like. And now I'm like "omg I can't believe I thought these people were exaggerating about their kid being full on insane" I keep wondering if had S so long ago that I just don't remember the trouble with her, but I really don't think she was like him either.

Your kid might be worse. But I try to hold him down too. And apparently he doesn't do this for anyone else that may change him. My mom was surprised how he was acting when I changed him.

bumpuser5078523

Add me to the horrible diaper changing fights. And he isn't much better when im trying to get him dressed, either. It's especially not fun while recovering from a second c-section.