Just excited!!

Darbdarbs

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

Amstreagle

Bliss+Berry said:

Darbdarbs said:

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

You will not find out the gender for several more years.  You *might* find out the sex at your A/S.  Also, why would you want your baby to be a corporation?  
This exactly.
I totally cracked up about the corporation tid bit. I missed it reading the op.

Maebb

Congrats! We found out the sex (not gender) at our 20 week ultrasound - a boy!

JCWhitey

Bliss+Berry said:

Darbdarbs said:

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

You will not find out the gender for several more years.  You *might* find out the sex at your A/S.  Also, why would you want your baby to be a corporation?  

Hey now, corporations are people, too!

jennypolkadots

Believe it or not, some of us actually don't give a rats ass what is between our child's legs and aren't finding out until the birth  

You will see a lot of more interesting things at your scan - like the 4 chambers of the heart, or the well developed brain, or those little hands that you get to hold one day. Now that's exciting!

beepositive63

According to the 2010 US census 3.8% of people consider themselves part of the LGBT community. 0.03% identify themselves as transgender. Can we stop jumping down people's throats for assuming that their little girl will be a girl or their little boy will be a boy? I mean really.

jennypolkadots

@beepositive63 - unfortunately we live in a society that still looks down on LGBT members. So while 3.8% identify that way, I can bet the actual number is more than double that figure. The vast majority of people who struggle with gender identity do so in silence. I applaud the .03% that make the transition and identify themselves... they are a real rarity. 

Sex and gender are more complex than being a "boy" or "girl" or who you are sexually attracted to. For example, there are many men who identify as women and are attracted to women, for example. So they are heterosexual men but gender identify as being feminine. If your ultrasound or blood work says you are having a boy, yes you are having a child with a penis also called a boy. But his gender may or may not be male. We are all on a scale and fall somewhere in between masculine and feminine characteristics. That has nothing to do with his status as a homosexual or heterosexual. Please learn more about this.

beepositive63

I'm only saying that it's ok to be exited about finding out the sex of your baby. Nor am I anti-LGBT. BTW the T in that stands for trans-sexual/trans-gender and I'm aware of the difference. All I'm saying is that it's ok for her to be excited about whatever sex her baby is without having to worry that her child will feel as though her body is betraying her true spirit. Transsexual people have a rough go of it, right or wrong; from internal and external sources. Noone wishes for their child to go through that. Her child has a greater chance of being mentally ill or disabled and nobody says "well, your child might be schizophrenic or have downs syndrome or have learning disabilities,etc" Part of the awe and excitement of becoming a parent is to see your child grow into who they are going to be. We should be allowed to hope and dream that the process goes smoothly.

jennypolkadots

@beepositive63 - I think you are missing something about the conversation... and most of your last comment doesn't even make sense to me. People on these boards just like to point out that you find out the sex of your baby in an ultrasound, and you can not assume gender. Even if a child is not transgender or transexual, they may not fully gender identify as one or the other. Sex and gender aren't synonyms. I think gender gets misused a lot because people are uncomfortable with the word sex and think of sex as intercourse. Of course it's fine to be excited to learn if you are having a boy or girl, but rushing out the buy headbands and tutus or little sailor outfits is sexist. It is the norm though, but the norm is uneducated. 

To equate transexuality to a mental illness as you did is ridiculous. If we were all going around saying "my baby is so mentally sound!" then of course others would remind us that you never really know. These two aren't comparable though. 

In day to day life I don't correct people, I know what they are intending to say when they say gender. It's unfortunate though that most people are so blindly ignorant of the complexities of gender and sex that these two terms have become used interchangeably. It doesn't make it okay just because it's a norm.

DrBatlyMD

jennypolkadots said:

Believe it or not, some of us actually don't give a rats ass what is between our child's legs and aren't finding out until the birth  

You will see a lot of more interesting things at your scan - like the 4 chambers of the heart, or the well developed brain, or those little hands that you get to hold one day. Now that's exciting!

Exactly! I think the coolest part of the anatomy scan was seeing his spine. It was really interesting hearing the tech talking about all the parts he was checking out...although for the most part, it looked like blobs and shadows to me.

jennypolkadots

@drbatlymd - I know, it was the coolest! We got to see LO gulp down some yummy amniotic fluid and she watched it flow through the organs. We didn't want to know the sex and just sat there in awe looking at little ribs, a perfect spine, and the face of a child we will share every day of our lives with. It really is incredible!! 

I guess part of OP's post rubbed me the wrong way because we are as excited as anyone could be about our child, even if we want to keep the boy/girl surprise for the birth. It's cool to have a son or daughter, it is all something to celebrate. I totally get why people are curious and choose to find out. It just isn't the most exciting part for me.

I wish preggos would spend 1/2 as much time learning about childbirth or pondering proper prenatal nutrition than they spend thinking about what's between their child's legs or gender specific nursery decor. But that's just me! 

Salsera29

kyliedaniellexx said:

@beepositive63‌ why does it even matter? Point is the words are not interchangeable and doing so can hurt people, why not differentiatiate the two if you have been educated to do so? Would you refer to the white people in a predominantly spanish neighborhood as crackers because they are a minority?

No one faulted her for wanting to know the sex of her baby or even for playing gender stereotypes. She was just asked to realize the two words are not interchangeable.

I think TB in general gets way too fired up about the sex vs gender issue. Most (many?) people are not taught to use the correct word. It's fine to correct them. But as fond of snark as I am, I think it's really unnecessary to snark at someone for using the wrong word.

Salsera29

shinyredsmartazz said:

Salsera29 said:

@beepositive63‌ why does it even matter? Point is the words are not interchangeable and doing so can hurt people, why not differentiatiate the two if you have been educated to do so? Would you refer to the white people in a predominantly spanish neighborhood as crackers because they are a minority? No one faulted her for wanting to know the sex of her baby or even for playing gender stereotypes. She was just asked to realize the two words are not interchangeable.

I think TB in general gets way too fired up about the sex vs gender issue. Most (many?) people are not taught to use the correct word. It's fine to correct them. But as fond of snark as I am, I think it's really unnecessary to snark at someone for using the wrong word.

I think a lot of this depends on the tone of the person misusing the words. People who interchange them get corrected and done. But then you get your posters who get super defensive for being corrected and start arguing and showing ignorance, and THEN you get the snark. I'll admit I didn't really know the difference before coming here, or at least I didn't think about it much. I learned, I moved on. 

Oh if someone is corrected and then gets defensive or pissy, all bets are off. But I do see people get sarcastic responses the first time they use the wrong word, and I don't think that's right. 

Darbdarbs

Oh my word... My apologies if I offended anyone, but I was just expressing my excitment. I honestly did not realize that using the word gender over the word sex was going to turn into this. I am just excited to find out whether my baby is a boy or girl that's all.

Darbdarbs

I didn't really think about it when I posted it that some people would take offence so I am sorry...

my4pups

Don't apologize. This place is just full of people looking for a reason to beat other people down. It's amazing, especially for a place that's supposed to be a supportive community. There was CLEARLY no malicious intent with your original post. If someone was offended by your post they seriously need to lighten up and stop looking for a reason to pop everyone's bubble. Congrats to you!! Enjoy every minute!

jennypolkadots

It's not really about using the wrong word though, the original post just seemed so focused on the wrong things and really braggy.

My pregnancy has been amazing, literally perfect thus far. But I am not about to post some thread about it because I have the maturity to realize that not everyone is so lucky. Especially when you are on a birthing board, many women end up here because they are experiencing issues and need some support. Most all of us are extremely excited to be adding to our families, but this post just rubbed me the wrong way. 

my4pups

MrsMuq said:

You realize the majority of census data is filled out by the "head of household," and not each individual person, right? So, especially in families where teens and young adults live in a household, they may be part of the LGBT community and their families don't know?

It's generally assumed roughly 10% of the human population is LGBT (I forget where that stat is from, though).

LOL... 

KateHicks12

my4pups said:

Don't apologize. This place is just full of people looking for a reason to beat other people down. It's amazing, especially for a place that's supposed to be a supportive community. There was CLEARLY no malicious intent with your original post. If someone was offended by your post they seriously need to lighten up and stop looking for a reason to pop everyone's bubble. Congrats to you!! Enjoy every minute!

Finally someone I actually agree with. Why are you women so harsh? It's very distasteful. Makes me wonder why I even wandered into this.

janda426

jennypolkadots said:

@beepositive63 - I think you are missing something about the conversation... and most of your last comment doesn't even make sense to me. People on these boards just like to point out that you find out the sex of your baby in an ultrasound, and you can not assume gender. Even if a child is not transgender or transexual, they may not fully gender identify as one or the other. Sex and gender aren't synonyms. I think gender gets misused a lot because people are uncomfortable with the word sex and think of sex as intercourse. Of course it's fine to be excited to learn if you are having a boy or girl, but rushing out the buy headbands and tutus or little sailor outfits is sexist. It is the norm though, but the norm is uneducated. 

To equate transexuality to a mental illness as you did is ridiculous. If we were all going around saying "my baby is so mentally sound!" then of course others would remind us that you never really know. These two aren't comparable though. 

In day to day life I don't correct people, I know what they are intending to say when they say gender. It's unfortunate though that most people are so blindly ignorant of the complexities of gender and sex that these two terms have become used interchangeably. It doesn't make it okay just because it's a norm.

Okay I was with you until the sexist part. FFS, I'm sexist for buying my son clothing geared towards boys? I'm sorry but no. That's bullshit.

BBS!

When my nurse called to tell me the sex of my baby she asked if I wanted to "know the gender." I smirked and thought the bump would not be okay with this. But seriously even medical professionals, counselors, etc often use the two interchangeably why is the bump so strict with it? For the record I work with many in the transgendered community and yes I try to always use the right term, especially at work but won't beat myself up or others if there's an accident!

thejucheidea

jennypolkadots said:

@drbatlymd - I know, it was the coolest! We got to see LO gulp down some yummy amniotic fluid and she watched it flow through the organs. We didn't want to know the sex and just sat there in awe looking at little ribs, a perfect spine, and the face of a child we will share every day of our lives with. It really is incredible!! 

I guess part of OP's post rubbed me the wrong way because we are as excited as anyone could be about our child, even if we want to keep the boy/girl surprise for the birth. It's cool to have a son or daughter, it is all something to celebrate. I totally get why people are curious and choose to find out. It just isn't the most exciting part for me.

I wish preggos would spend 1/2 as much time learning about childbirth or pondering proper prenatal nutrition than they spend thinking about what's between their child's legs or gender specific nursery decor. But that's just me! 

All of this!! I loved watching the blood flow to our baby's kidneys, seeing the straight midline of the brain, enjoying the fact that both hemispheres of the brain are the same size, watching the heart beat with all four perfectly formed chambers, seeing the well-formed spine (especially because I have scoliosis)... it was wonderful just seeing all of the organs and bones and everything except our child's genitals.

I'm glad that we'll be surprised by our baby's sex, but sex is truly the least important thing on my mind.

jennypolkadots

@janda426 - I don't understand why you seem offended, there is no argument. The clothes we choose for our children display gender stereotypes and sexism in our culture. If I have a daughter, I'm sure she will be in dresses that I wouldn't put on a son. A boy will have some shirts with little trucks or whatever that I likely wouldn't pick for a girl. The act is sexist, even if I am not personally sexist or meaning anything by it. It is identifying and going along with the gender imbalances in our culture. Dresses are very convenient for diaper changes, so why not put a blue one on your little boy??

Halloween is the best example of this. Before children are old enough to choose their own costumes (at which point, all bets are off... I was adamant about being a school bus one year...) we show gender biases. Infant boys can be sailors, cops, football players, and superheros. Girls can be princesses, cheerleaders, and pink fluffy poodles. No infant boy is dressed as a pink fluffy poodle, or a little girl as a football player even though you can just as easily get them both into the costumes. That is sexism - defining stereotypes and enforcing gender bias even if those costumes are just so darn cute. 

I'm not saying we are bad people for going along with this, I am guilty too. I am just pointing out the obvious that how we dress our children does display sexism even if it isn't intentional. 

crunchymamaof2

jennypolkadots said:

@janda426 - I don't understand why you seem offended, there is no argument. The clothes we choose for our children display gender stereotypes and sexism in our culture. If I have a daughter, I'm sure she will be in dresses that I wouldn't put on a son. A boy will have some shirts with little trucks or whatever that I likely wouldn't pick for a girl. The act is sexist, even if I am not personally sexist or meaning anything by it. It is identifying and going along with the gender imbalances in our culture. Dresses are very convenient for diaper changes, so why not put a blue one on your little boy??

Halloween is the best example of this. Before children are old enough to choose their own costumes (at which point, all bets are off... I was adamant about being a school bus one year...) we show gender biases. Infant boys can be sailors, cops, football players, and superheros. Girls can be princesses, cheerleaders, and pink fluffy poodles. No infant boy is dressed as a pink fluffy poodle, or a little girl as a football player even though you can just as easily get them both into the costumes. That is sexism - defining stereotypes and enforcing gender bias even if those costumes are just so darn cute. 

I'm not saying we are bad people for going along with this, I am guilty too. I am just pointing out the obvious that how we dress our children does display sexism even if it isn't intentional. 

Uh no. There were a bunch of girls in my sons class that wore "boy" costumes and my son has put on princess dresses while playing with his friends. My son wore the gowned sleepers. Don't lump everyone into the "sexist" category because of the clothes WE prefer.

RaeKM

Darbdarbs said:

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

You know - I do get that the OP made a mistake with gender vs. sex but more importantly to her - CONGRATULATIONS! It IS very exciting.
Just don't come on this site and expect people to be excited for you, or even generally nice. This really is more of a place for being criticized when you make a 'wrong' remark and to be put down when you ask questions that can be answered by the Google. It is dominated by a series of repeaters that are quite bold from behind their computers.
All the best and enjoy your pregnancy.

Amstreagle

Salsera29

RaeKM said:

Darbdarbs said:

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

You know - I do get that the OP made a mistake with gender vs. sex but more importantly to her - CONGRATULATIONS! It IS very exciting.
Just don't come on this site and expect people to be excited for you, or even generally nice. This really is more of a place for being criticized when you make a 'wrong' remark and to be put down when you ask questions that can be answered by the Google. It is dominated by a series of repeaters that are quite bold from behind their computers.
All the best and enjoy your pregnancy.


You should try Babycenter. You will find your puppies and rainbows there.

janda426

I know I'm late but whatever,

@jennypolkadots‌ here's the definition of sexism, read up

Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender. Sexist attitudes may stem from traditional stereotypes of gender roles, and may include the belief that a person of one sex is intrinsically superior to a person of the other.

I'm not discriminating shit by preferring one article of clothing over another for my son. I don't believe one sex is better than the other because I prefer one article of clothing over another. Don't throw out bullshit ass accusations with zero logical backing.

Oh and I did buy gowns for my son. He will also be baptized in a gown. But I guess I'm sexist because I've also bought some blue things for him. FOH.

PrimRoseMama

RaeKM said:

Darbdarbs said:

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

You know - I do get that the OP made a mistake with gender vs. sex but more importantly to her - CONGRATULATIONS! It IS very exciting.
Just don't come on this site and expect people to be excited for you, or even generally nice. This really is more of a place for being criticized when you make a 'wrong' remark and to be put down when you ask questions that can be answered by the Google. It is dominated by a series of repeaters that are quite bold from behind their computers.
All the best and enjoy your pregnancy.



Well this was speshul...

Maybe it's because I don't act like an ignorant asshat, or maybe it's because I think outside of myself/my needs, but I've had folks be incredibly sweet to me on thebump.

I'm not sure it's wise to make blanket statements when you don't understand the "get what you give" concept. If you give a steaming pile of cow dung that reeks of ignorance, then expect responses that are less than welcoming.

Just so we are clear, the response of yours up here ^^^ it falls into the steaming pile category @RaeKM‌ .

allrightmeow

RaeKM said:

Darbdarbs said:

Had my first OBGYN appointment the other day, and she said that the uterus is where it should be, just at my belly button, and the babies heart is beating at 155bpm, I am 18 weeks along and just so excited! My next ultrasound is October 27th, and I'm hoping the baby corporates so we can find out the gender!! Anyone else know what they are having?!

You know - I do get that the OP made a mistake with gender vs. sex but more importantly to her - CONGRATULATIONS! It IS very exciting.
Just don't come on this site and expect people to be excited for you, or even generally nice. This really is more of a place for being criticized when you make a 'wrong' remark and to be put down when you ask questions that can be answered by the Google. It is dominated by a series of repeaters that are quite bold from behind their computers.
All the best and enjoy your pregnancy.

Can you post the link the leads to the source of your butthurt?