Does anyone else have one of "those" friends..

NewMrsMacC

... that have a small infant close in age to your own.. who every time you mention something new that your LO is doing.. they say "OMG! (baby's name) is doing that too, and has been for a while...". and then they go on and on about their kid for the next 15-20 minutes telling you all about it, while ignoring what you said about your LO to begin with. I am sorry- this annoys me and I think its rude! Esp when her baby is 6 weeks younger than mine... and I know for a fact that her child is NOT doing every-single-thing mine is doing. She's a good friend, and I love her to death, but when I am excited to tell you about something new my LO is doing, I want you to acknowledge it- and talk with me about it (and about MY lo) for at least a few minutes before you make sure to let me know your baby is "just super fast in development" and doing every single thing mine is and more.. even though she's close to seven weeks younger in age.

Ugh sorry for ranting ladies, but I am annoyed. 

jensavicci

This sounds like it could be a sequel to the movie "bride wars".

NewMrsMacC

jensavicci said:

This sounds like it could be a sequel to the movie "bride wars".

Oh it definitely could be.. I swear to God, I get my LO a custom couture halloween costume.. she does the same thing- and makes sure to tell me ALL about it... She will see a picture I post to FB of my LO and I at the toy store with a basket of toys.. she will tell me a few days later all about her trip to the store and all the new toys she just bought for her baby.. I to the point where I dont even want to tell her things Im doing with my daughter because she copies and tries to 1up me! 

Right now I have my daughter in swim lessons, in secret.. Im going to go to her in a few months and be like  'Look, she is 8 months old and swimming!" Lets hope she doesn't pick up her baby and just throw her in the pool and say "OMG SO IS (babys name)" lol!

whimsy515

YEP!! And our babies are exactly a month apart. The thing is, my Brother gets more upset about it than I do. He said I could write on FB that DS walked into the wall and she'd reply My DS walked through the wall!!! He's right though
)

NewMrsMacC

ALE515 said:

YEP!! And our babies are exactly a month apart. The thing is, my Brother gets more upset about it than I do. He said I could write on FB that DS walked into the wall and she'd reply My DS walked through the wall!!! He's right though
)

Dude, so annoying! WHY do these people feel the need to do this?!?!

whimsy515

NewMrsMacC said:

ALE515 said:

YEP!! And our babies are exactly a month apart. The thing is, my Brother gets more upset about it than I do. He said I could write on FB that DS walked into the wall and she'd reply My DS walked through the wall!!! He's right though
)

Dude, so annoying! WHY do these people feel the need to do this?!?!

2 reasons. 1-They honestly think they aren't doing anything bad and are just talking babies. 2-They know exactly what they're doing and need to show off/be smug about how their baby is obviously a genius!

JubilantSquirrel

I legit snorted at "custom couture Halloween costume".

TeacherVicky

NewMrsMacC said:

Oh it definitely could be.. I swear to God, I get my LO a custom couture halloween costume.. she does the same thing- and makes sure to tell me ALL about it... She will see a picture I post to FB of my LO and I at the toy store with a basket of toys.. she will tell me a few days later all about her trip to the store and all the new toys she just bought for her baby.. I to the point where I dont even want to tell her things Im doing with my daughter because she copies and tries to 1up me! 

Right now I have my daughter in swim lessons, in secret.. Im going to go to her in a few months and be like  'Look, she is 8 months old and swimming!" Lets hope she doesn't pick up her baby and just throw her in the pool and say "OMG SO IS (babys name)" lol!

To the bolded above: what?! You secretly have your DD in swim lessons?  8-| What exactly do you think she'll learn to do in the water at the end of the session? She's learning to get used to the water, not compete in a swim meet. 

Your friend is probably just excited to share the new things her LO is doing and didn't realize you were getting so butt hurt about it. Or she's truly just obnoxious. Either way, who cares. It sounds like you are also seeing this as competition. If it bothers you that much, stop talking about your DD's milestones.

KatWAG

aditigirl said:

I mean, if you are bragging about your "couture baby costume" (WUT) and "baskets of toys" then you both sound obnoxious. How about you do you and quit being so concerned about what she is doing.

This x1000.  You aren't friends. You are frenemies.

Scrambles1

I have a friend like that. She's definitely a comparer, but I think it's because she's self concious if that makes any sense. 

She'll hear that we're doing something and either say..."We should do that." Or she'll just do it and then talk about their experience already knowing ours.

Then afterwards she'll continuously say that she's sorry if we're mad that she copied us. Which, we never are because it doesn't matter. So maybe it's because she feels like you're a good example, or maybe she wants you to treat her as an equal so if she does everything you do...then you guys will be the same.

jenn43

Wait... am I not supposed to compare every detail of my LO's development with my two friends who have babies the same age so I can prove how incredibly smart, coordinated and attractive he is?  What will I do for fun now?

Peanutz21

aditigirl said:

I mean, if you are bragging about your "couture baby costume" (WUT) and "baskets of toys" then you both sound obnoxious. How about you do you and quit being so concerned about what she is doing.

love this

OP - relax a little, it sounds like you're both playing the game

jfletcher3113

aditigirl said:

I mean, if you are bragging about your "couture baby costume" (WUT) and "baskets of toys" then you both sound obnoxious. How about you do you and quit being so concerned about what she is doing.

What she said a million percent. Sounds like you're both competing with your children, which I think is just weird.

 

bridetobe9132013

I have a friend who does the same thing but her baby is 2 months older. She even told me "Omg people tell me that my baby is the cutest baby ever." What was she expecting me to say... "oh you are right, your baby is way cuter than mine." I was irritated!

scarlettepixis

I have a friend who's daughter is only 2 months older than Kaylie and she constantly compares them and their development. And sometimes I feel like she's trying to show me up on social media. The day Kaylie was born she posted a picture of her daughter's 'Welcome Home' thing from the hospital with a caption 'forgot to post this' i was like -___- really? 2 months late on the exact same day my new baby was born?? 20 mins after I post a new pic of Kaylie she'll post one of her daughter in almost the exact same way. She's a great friend and her daughter is adorable but it bothers me when she compares them. I want our girls to be friends, you know?

bridetobe9132013

I could have written alot if these posts myself! I confronted my friend about it and things have gotten better. I didnt want us to stop being friends.

Everyusernameistaken

Yeah you sound way too invested in this. It takes two to compete. I'm still giggling about your custom couture Halloween costumes and secret swim lessons.

NewMrsMacC

Well, they aren't a secret anymore, lol.. I posted some pictures on social media and now, she definitely knows about them... and what do you know, she wants to know where I got LO's bathing suits- because she's taking her daughter swimming this weekend (funny she just told me last week that they didn't do any swimming this summer with their baby- and didn't plan too- so she gave the swimsuits she had for her away...) But now she needs to know where I got the one my LO is wearing... all because she saw my kid swimming on FB. Her timing is terribly unsubtle, lol. 

And as for the expensive custom costume.. Hey, its my first baby and it is pretty normal and certainly expected for me for to do things like that for her

NewMrsMacC

scarlettepixis said:

I have a friend who's daughter is only 2 months older than Kaylie and she constantly compares them and their development. And sometimes I feel like she's trying to show me up on social media. The day Kaylie was born she posted a picture of her daughter's 'Welcome Home' thing from the hospital with a caption 'forgot to post this' i was like -___- really? 2 months late on the exact same day my new baby was born?? 20 mins after I post a new pic of Kaylie she'll post one of her daughter in almost the exact same way. She's a great friend and her daughter is adorable but it bothers me when she compares them. I want our girls to be friends, you know?

That is so funny! lol! I swear this chick does the same thing! I posted a picture of my hubster and I at the park this past weekend with LO that said "what a pretty sunny day!".. 30 minutes later, she posts a picture of HER and her kids at a park and says "we are out and about enjoying the sun!". or, I will talk to her on the phone and tell her something about my LO like "She is grabbing and noticing her feet! And trying to eat her toes! Its so funny!"... An hour later, she's on social media posting a picture of HER LO trying to grab her feet and it says "look who found their feet!" Its crazy lol! This is my first baby so Im new to all this, this is her 3rd so she knows exactly what she is doing, lol. 

snysilver

I hate to say, you sort of sound like you are also "one of those friends". You just want your friend to stop talking about what her LO has learned so that you can talk exclusively about what your LO has learned?
It's not a competition. You can be proud of your LO and still be proud of and interetsed in your friends LO too. And maybe it would be fun to take the swim class together instead of looking forward to the day that you can prove how much better your baby is because she took a "secret" swim class.

NewMrsMacC

snysilver said:

I hate to say, you sort of sound like you are also "one of those friends". You just want your friend to stop talking about what her LO has learned so that you can talk exclusively about what your LO has learned? It's not a competition. You can be proud of your LO and still be proud of and interested in your friends LO too. And maybe it would be fun to take the swim class together instead of looking forward to the day that you can prove how much better your baby is because she took a "secret" swim class.

That was my point, when I tell her about something Im excited to see my LO doing she just ignores what I said, and starts talking abut her kid! Its rude! I try to share with her, I want her to acknowledge what Im excited about before going on and on for the 30 minutes about her own kid! When I tell her something Id like her to AT LEAST say SOMETHING about it.. even a simple "oh how cool" but she doesn't. Me: "omg my little finally spent more than 60 seconds on her tummy today! I was so happy!" Her: "Oh, (baby's name) has been doing that for weeks, she developing so fast. Im so proud of her, she loves tummy time, she's plays like that, laughs and is so cute. I thought it would take her time but no, she took right to it".. blah blah blah on and on and on... Doest say a literal word about what I was excited to share with her! It is rude and I don't care if you want to bash me, you would feel the same f*in way if you had a "friend" who did that shit.

NewMrsMacC

somerandomchick said:

snysilver said:

I hate to say, you sort of sound like you are also "one of those friends". You just want your friend to stop talking about what her LO has learned so that you can talk exclusively about what your LO has learned? It's not a competition. You can be proud of your LO and still be proud of and interested in your friends LO too. And maybe it would be fun to take the swim class together instead of looking forward to the day that you can prove how much better your baby is because she took a "secret" swim class.

That was my point, when I tell her about something Im excited to see my LO doing she just ignores what I said, and starts talking abut her kid! Its rude! I try to share with her, I want her to acknowledge what Im excited about before going on and on for the 30 minutes about her own kid! When I tell her something Id like her to AT LEAST say SOMETHING about it.. even a simple "oh how cool" but she doesn't. Me: "omg my little finally spent more than 60 seconds on her tummy today! I was so happy!" Her: "Oh, (baby's name) has been doing that for weeks, she developing so fast. Im so proud of her, she loves tummy time, she's plays like that, laughs and is so cute. I thought it would take her time but no, she took right to it".. blah blah blah on and on and on... Doest say a literal word about what I was excited to share with her! It is rude and I don't care if you want to bash me, you would feel the same f*in way if you had a "friend" who did that shit.

It doesn't sound like you guys are actually friends. Maybe just stop talking to her altogether.

Unfortunately, I think you are right. I didn't speak to her at all last week and have pretty much decided to continue that trend. I guess the sooner I learn that -like a PP said- no one cares about my kiddos achievements, milestones ect.. the better off I will be. I think it sucks tbh, but I have hubby, mom, MIL and a few other family members that I will start to talk to about these things... and I guess I will just forget trying to share our life with other mommies and their littles. It sucks. :-<

NorthernGal248

Spend you money anyway you want, I honestly couldn't care less. Just don't assume that you or anyone else is expected to buy a certain designer outfit for your baby. The only thing any of us are actually expected to do is keep our baby's clothed, fed, and healthy.