2.5 yr old suddenly can't fall asleep alone.

ashmarie22

We've always had the same routine for our daughter.  Two weeks ago, she started having a very hard time falling asleep without me there. After we read a book, I tuck her in and snuggle her for a few minutes, only now when I get up to leave she grabs on and says, "Mom I need you," or "Don't leave me," or "Snuggle me."   She literally clings on and won't let me leave.  If I stay until she is alseep things are fine, but if I just get up and go, she has a meltdown. Crying for an hour or so before falling alseep.   If my husband put her to bed, she now screams and crys for me as well. Very frustraiting. 

I thought it was a phase since she never did this before, but it's going on for about 2 weeks now and I can't take it anymore. I want her to be independent and fall asleep on her own but I can't handle her crying for an hour because it cuts into her sleep time and she wakes up tired and crabby.  

Has anyone had this happen to them? What did you do?

ashiscute

I agree that it's a phase.  However, it could become her new normal if you let it.  I agree with Nic that I'd tell her that you can't stay with her the whole time.  Then I'd set a timer and stay for 5 mins or whatever and then slowly stay less.  Yes, she will probably cry and you'll have to go back in and rub her back but I think if you're consistent she'll get back on her routine.  It will probably take a few days.  

thechickencoop

I say phase too. DS went though something like this a few months ago and it lasted for about a month I think.  He's been great with bedtime for a while - books, song, tuck in, and leave, and it's all good.  Then all of a sudden he would BEG me to stay and sing to him more.  Ugh, ok, so I would lay down on the floor next to his bed and sing for a while.  I gave it a week but he was still crying for me to stay so I would do what pps said and give him a warning of when I would leave (I mean, there were a few night I fell asleep on his floor, H would have to wake me up!!), so I'd say, ok, ONE more song, etc, etc.  

After we finally broke him of needing us there FOREVER to go to sleep then he started asking for his lamp to stay on.  He has a nightlight but then he would beg for more light too...it was fine though because he would still go to sleep pretty quickly.  That lasted a few weeks too I guess then it was all back to normal.  

Kids are odd.

SunAndRain

I'm here to commiserate. DD is 26 months and for the past two months she must have me with her while she falls asleep AND she is up every night crawling in to our bed. I did everything I could to get her to be an independent sleeper from the day she was born. Now I'm that mom I swore I'd never be

We had a breakthrough this weekend when DD spent the night with her grandparents. She knew I wasn't there and MIL just put her to bed, told her she would see her mom in the morning and that was pretty much that. DD cried for less than five minutes.

So back at home we are on night three of re-training her. After 1 hour of crying and getting out of her bed the first night, I finally put a baby gate across her door. She was wearing me down and I was nearly in tears myself so it was either give in and crawl in to her bed to try something more drastic. She cried five more minutes then walked herself back to bed. Slept through the night.

Night two she started down the same path. So I explained to her hat if she got out of her bed once more I was going to have to put the baby gate up. I repeated that about five times before leaving. She did get up and laid down on her hallway and fell asleep. But I walked her back to her bed and she fell asleep.

Honestly I do feel like DD needed me for a time. So I am now more in the camp of be there for them when they cry out for you. We got lucky with that window of opportunity though is can't say for sure how it will turn out in the long run other than to hope that she won't need me to sleep by the time she is in college.

HeavenBlessedMom

Yup..We've been doing this for a month. She'll b 2 on Oct 25. We took her out of crib now and have a queen mattress on the floor of her room. We lay with her til she's asleep (10 min) & mostly once a night she wanders into our room and one of us takes her back without saying much and lays down with her again till she's asleep. Just separation anxiety. She used to run to her pillow and sleep 10 hrs. What makes it more challenging is we have 6 mo old triplet boys. ...
Progress... she used to wander in 3 times/night. Hope phase is over soon!

ashmarie22

Glad I'm not alone. Thanks for the support!

Ya Never Know

DD was doing that for a while a few months ago. We always have the same routine as well, stories, then songs, then I leave. When she started prolonging bed time by asking for more songs, I started telling her that I sing 4 songs, and when I get to the last one, I tell her it's the LAST song. I don't know why that worked, but it worked for DD (or at least it has so far - knock on wood).

KWood2011

Were in the same boat! 

She has been better the past few weeks though. I really think it is a phase! Hope it passes soon for you. 

Something that did work for us was on super nanny:

put her in bed the first time do your normal routine

second time put her back nicely in bed say "bedtime" nothing more

 then every time after just set her in bed stay neutral 

May take 10 times first night but slowly it will get easier! Hope this helps. 

summermedic

In the same boat..... It is dredful... Unfortunately, we also have a 4 month old DS who is breastfed so I can't spend all my time with DS #1. He was always an amazing sleeper. I mean 11-12 hr nights for over a year. No matter what was going on around him, he would go to bed like a charm. He loved his bedroom and his crib until suddenly 2 months ago. We had just gotten back from a trip (which he slept great on) and the second night home DS #2 was crying and woke DS #1 up from a deep sleep. He woke up crying and has never been the same. Nothing in his routine has changed. Our routine is similar to yours. And I am not willing to do "cry it out". We do the super nanny response usually too. But lately I am finding myself yelling alot more because I can hear my little 4 month old screaming for me at the same time that my 2.5 yr old is losing it. And yet he has no trouble going down for his naps! Sorry for the vent, but it is just so nice to know that I am not alone. I truly wish you the best of luck with your little one. I hope this is just a phase for all of us and that it passes very soon!!! Keep it up!