Any FTM's not having a baby shower?

BeckyP005

I told my mom it didn't bother me not to have one. She said of course you are. She booked a date pretty early (well only day available) because of holiday parties.

Anyway today she said she was nervous in planning it and would stress her out and few other reasons. Her best friend will be away that always helps her with stuff. She is from another country and couldn't put something together if her life depended on it lol. My mom asked if I would be ok with not having one. She said she would give me the $ that she would of spent and then some.

A friend told me that I need/should have one. Thoughts? Is it bad that my mom is not having one for me? I don't think it's a big deal...

marijaa333

I'm not having one, but then I never really identified with any societal ceremonies; I think you should do what makes you happy. Also, there's nothing to say it has to be your mother throwing the shower. If you'd like to have one, you can host it yourself or have a friend organize it and invite your mom without the stress.

BeckyP005

My friends.. anyway in my circle...all had their moms host. I have good friends but none would offer and that's fine. My SIL that I like said she can have a very very small one at her house. I hate for her to have since my mom bailed. We shall see Like I said it's really not a big deal..it's others saying I need one since I've waited so long for this! Haha we are all special

Mrs.McIrish

Can SIL help your mom??? I think you need a shower!!!

marijaa333

Ah, I see. You seem like quite the trailblazer already, so I have a feeling you will find a way. In any case, I hope you have lots of fun, no matter who ends up the host (or if you choose to have some alternative outing)! 

BeckyP005

marijaa333 said:

Ah, I see. You seem like quite the trailblazer already, so I have a feeling you will find a way. In any case, I hope you have lots of fun, no matter who ends up the host (or if you choose to have some alternative outing)! 

I didn't mention to SIL for her to throw one lol. She mentioned something in passing awhile ago when I said not sure if my mom would host. I'm not looking to have one thrown!!! Just wondering if people will find it strange that my own mom isn't throwing me one but giving me the $ instead.

Samuelismomma

I never had one with ds..my mom and sister neither one thought to do it? Umm huh? Lol it didn't bother me though because my sis bought big ticket items and my mom gave money...and they worship my son! Lol...I do want to have like a celebration dinner for this LO, because she is a rainbow:)

BeckyP005

@Samuelismomma ‌ this makes me feel better haha.

NeonNoon

I'm not having one but for other reasons.  Most of my close friends and family live far away.  Also, I am an introvert and tend to shy away from attention.  My plan is to register - I'm going to have to figure out what I need anyway.  And if someone asks, I can point them to where I'm registered.

Lady2010

I am not having one - the majority of our friends live in the nyc area and have kids. It wouldn't be practical / possible for them to come to where we are (4 hrs away) for a shower - the logistics alone - cost, travel, etc.

For my bridal shower my mom/sister did it outside the city but 2 hrs away so it was still hard for people. (Most folks in NYC don't have a car).

While part of me would like to have a shower - it isn't that important to me so I just declined knowing they would spend a lot of time planning (and sister complaining about planning) and not a lot of ppl would be able to come.

Tsuga76

I'm definitely leaning against. At first no one offered which made me a little sad, then all of a sudden three different friends and my sister all did. Which has led to some mild drama from one good friend in particular (long story but no she can't work with the others). I realized the whole thing was causing unneeded stress - not just the friend drama but I've always felt weird asking for gifts - I didn't have/want a bridal shower and we discouraged gifts at our wedding (only to discover guests took that to mean they would write a check...) And I don't love being the center of attention. DH and I have discussed some sort of non-shower pre-baby party and/or a sip and see type thing post-baby. In any case I'll probably still register for a few things in case people ask.

JilliansMoma

I don't think it's bad not to have one but it is a nice experience.  I always tell people who are PG with their first to enjoy the heck out of being a FTM because it's not the same if you have a second PG. 

My DH and I did the birthing class and the hospital tour and all the shower/diaper derby's for the first baby that we didn't do with the rest.

I agree with @hijoi to register at least for the completiton coupons!

GL

BeckyP005

This will be my one and only @JilliansMoma‌

My mom decided on maybe doing something small at her house and my one SIL said she was doing a small one from MH's side even though I told her it was not nesssary! So guess I'm having a shower

@hijoi‌ N starting Kdg? V in play school? Wow they are growing up!!

JilliansMoma

BeckyP005 said:

This will be my one and only @JilliansMoma‌ My mom decided on maybe doing something small at her house and my one SIL said she was doing a small one from MH's side even though I told her it was not nesssary! So guess I'm having a shower @hijoi‌ N starting Kdg? V in play school? Wow they are growing up!!

@BeckyP005 all the more reason to enjoy the heck out it!!!

Mrs.McIrish

Glad you are having a shower Becky!!!!