Can I come back?

briannaescplan

I freaked out a week or two ago about what I assumed was FI cheating. Since then, I kicked him out and let him back home. We are all signed up for relationship counseling and we are finally discussing our problems instead of sweeping them under the rug. We have put "trying" to get pregnant on the back-burner, just NTNP for now.

I think you ladies are wonderful and you all offered me wonderful support during my time of need, and I would like to thank you for that.

:sniffle:

No more mushy-gushy stuff. But...

briannaescplan

LongLiveTheEvilQueen said:

I didn't read this thread that you freaked out in but it's great you stepped up and apologized.

I didn't freak out on the board, but freaked out emotionally. I guess this is some sort of way for me to re-intro myself before jumping back in again. Plus, a lot of ladies really showed me some awesome support and gave me great advice.

ramaholic

I hope something comes from counseling for you, but I would definitely TTA until everything is settled.  If you do conceive and decide to break up... that might be an even bigger emotional mess to deal with.

Either way, welcome back. *hugs*

3houlagirl

ramaholic said:

I hope something comes from counseling for you, but I would definitely TTA until everything is settled.  If you do conceive and decide to break up... that might be an even bigger emotional mess to deal with.

Either way, welcome back. *hugs*

Yep.

It sounds like you and your fiance have a lot on your plates, and I would want to be VERY sure my relationship was stable and nurturing before I brought a child into the mix. Just my .02

ETA: Welcome back!

briannaescplan

3houlagirl said:

I hope something comes from counseling for you, but I would definitely TTA until everything is settled.  If you do conceive and decide to break up... that might be an even bigger emotional mess to deal with.

Either way, welcome back. *hugs*

Yep. It sounds like you and your fiance have a lot on your plates, and I would want to be VERY sure my relationship was stable and nurturing before I brought a child into the mix. Just my .02 ETA: Welcome back!

I agree. With trying for almost a year, we never succeeded TGP. I am sure this is something we are going to cover in our counseling. I would never want to bring a child into an unstable environment.

tlc35

ramaholic said:

I hope something comes from counseling for you, but I would definitely TTA until everything is settled.  If you do conceive and decide to break up... that might be an even bigger emotional mess to deal with.

Either way, welcome back. *hugs*

This.  You are welcome to hang out here with us but I think TTA is much more prudent than NTNP for now.

Bee1112

Welcome back! I agree with all the PP, regarding TTA/NTNP. I really hope that you can get your relationship to where you want it!

Wine&Cupcakes

BriannaMarie516 said:

3houlagirl said:

ramaholic said:

I hope something comes from counseling for you, but I would definitely TTA until everything is settled.  If you do conceive and decide to break up... that might be an even bigger emotional mess to deal with.

Either way, welcome back. *hugs*

Yep.

It sounds like you and your fiance have a lot on your plates, and I would want to be VERY sure my relationship was stable and nurturing before I brought a child into the mix. Just my .02

ETA: Welcome back!

I agree. With trying for almost a year, we never succeeded TGP. I am sure this is something we are going to cover in our counseling. I would never want to bring a child into an unstable environment.


--------mobile quote fail-----------

Glad you are working things out, and sorry for how long it is taking to get KTFU, but, by NTNP you very much are at risk for bringing a child into an unstable relationship at this time because, your relationship is, in fact, unstable.

Use protection. Get your shit together and then move forward. NTNP now is a BSC plan.

rockopera

Do not rely on 'I didn't get pregnant for the year we were trying' as birth control. Seriously, be smarter than that. Unless you think a fun accidental pregnancy is the answer to your problems.

Signed, someone who got pregnant right at the 1 year mark.

thiscoffeechick

I am truly sorry for all your heartache and I hope if you decide to stay with him long term that you are both really happy. My two cents is that, if I remember your post correctly, he had cheated on you before. I'm not trying to pry into what happened this time and it's probably better if you DONT share it with us but in my own experience, serial cheaters don't change. A lot can happen with forgiveness, counseling and communication but your lax attitude about birth control to me is coming off like it's not important to you to have a solid 100% commited relationship before you bring a child into it and that doesn't seem fair to the child.
Just my 2 cents. I'm not in your situation and I don't know the details but consider how permanently you are tied to a man once you have a child with him and ask yourself if you would be proud to have a son who treated his wife like your man treats you.
Good luck!!!

sandrabrooke

Please use some sort of protection.  You wouldn't want to be dealing with an even bigger mess.  And its always better to conceive when your both in 100% a good place....

Best of luck and welcome back!

ShellyR

Great advice above but just wanted to add another vote for please use protection for now. Please.

briannaescplan

Thank you, ladies. I agree. The "well, it wont happen because it hasn't happened" is an indeed BSC plan. We do need to work on ourselves before we even consider bringing a little one into the equation.