Are you revealing baby's name?

penad5

I'm just curious, we have picked a name and DH is 100% that's what he wants and i'm 95% - but i don't want to yell any of my friends or family - that way if i do change my mind no one will try to surprise me with an embroidered gift... plus i don't get to hear their opinions on the name - good or bad.  DH thinks i'm nuts but is keeping quiet anyway

Just wondering if i'm over thinking this or are their others like me who are keeping the name under lock and key?

xc1148

Depends how sensitive you are...someone will eventually, at best, say something stupid, or at worst, tell you everyday that you are ruining the child's life. My friend's MIL actually convinced her to change the name on the birth certificate while they were at the hospital, 7 years later she still regrets changing her daughter's name from the one she originally picked out.

We are keeping our names to ourselves, I just cant be bothered with stupid people's opinions. But some people love to share, and handle criticism just fine.

penad5

I think that's my problem - i'm too sensitive and i don't want anyone to taint the name in any way - plus as I said I'm reserving the right to change my mind if I discover a name i love even more

SpartanGirl24

We are telling everyone that we have a short list (5-6 names) and we are going to wait until the boys are born to name them. In reality, we are pretty set with two of those names unless they really don't fit. I don't really care to hear people's opinions, and even if my MIL keeps her mouth shut, she manages to convey her thoughts with her face anyway. She has already tried to get one name onto our list and we nixed it right away. Everyone seems to like our list when we tell them. I've also been paranoid in general about this entire pregnancy, so I really don't want to name them until we see them out, safe and sound!

happygirl1013

we've decided to not tell anyone our baby name, because (1) I really don't want to hear anyones inevitable reactions to the name, and (2) we feel like we lost so much privacy from our IF journey, and we want to reclaim our privacy

mdiblasi10

We shared with DS, but are keeping this baby's name a surprise from everyone. I don't want any comments or opinions and I wanted one surprise at her birth

If you want to keep it a surprise, go for it! Especially if you aren't 100% yet and if you don't want to hear other's opinions.

AMShark

Oh my gosh - I can't even think about names now.  I'm still in the mindset of too much planning will jinx it.  Hopefully, I'll get over that by the 2nd trimester.

I don't think its crazy at all to keep it secret.  I think your point about embroidered gifts is a good one - you don't want someone to go through the trouble and then feel hurt.  I've heard lots of stories of people having a name picked out, but when the birthday boy or girl appears, another name just feels right.  (My parents have 5 kids, and 4 of us are, "You're name was going to be...., but....."  Only my oldest brother, who is a Jr. is the only one who wasn't renamed at birth).

Besides, there is something exciting about keeping it a surprise.

pblge

The only reason I can think of that would convince me to tell anyone oir names is to prepare them for disappointment. My dad would really like a grandson named after him, and that's not gonna happen, for a variety of reasons, not least that he's been a jerk for most of my life. In fact, it's likely that a mn would be after my fil.

Naming is so hard! We started talking about names two years ago, so we have two picked out, but there's a good chance we'll reconsider. Just this weekend we heard about a cousin who had a name picked out for her daughter, but took one look at her and decided it wasn't right.

rox825

We're down to 3-4 boy and girl names, and no one IRL knows what they are.  I think that I've shared them on one of the boards I post on, but not with anyone who I actually know.  I don't want others' opinions, and who knows what we'll actually decide on when he or she arrives!

absolutelymaybe

There are plenty of people who don't want to share the names. To each their own. 

We shared ours (even through the naming process when we were still thinking over names) because I liked having outside feedback and I have pretty thick skin. My kids are the ones who are going to have to live with the names the rest of their lives, so I didn't want anything people are going to be secretly side eyeing. 

To be honest, my family cannot pronounce our boy's name (Ari -- they pronounce it like Air-ee), but I consider that their issue (it's a real name and I spelled it correctly -- can't make it any easier). Everyone seems to like Willa, but I've had a few double takes when I've told them her legal name will be Wilhelmina (but, as I said, it's a real name -- albeit a little old fashioned -- and spelled correctly. Plus, she won't be called that often, so it just didn't see like a big issue). 

poohniki

We are 100% confident on our boy name (Benjamin) and have told people that would be the name...So I have no problems with people knowing. I know I won't change the name no matter what.

 DH on the other hand tells everyone our girl name- which I'm still not 100% on... especially after reading some not so great comments about it over on the baby name board... 

So far our top name for a girl is Avalyn - we both lost our mothers during our IF battle so the 'lyn' would honor his mother, and the middle name would be after mine.

Sometimes I wonder is DH tells everyone so I'm guilted into using it.. hmmm....

WA1215

penad5 said:

I think that's my problem - i'm too sensitive and i don't want anyone to taint the name in any way - plus as I said I'm reserving the right to change my mind if I discover a name i love even more

This is why we have decided we won't be sharing her name til she's born. When I found out I was pg, I mentioned some possible b/g names to my mom and sister and got comments. I don't want anyone ruining any name for us.

kmc84

When I was pregnant with A, we told no one (except my BFF) what our names were and we were very happy with that decision. We did not want to hear and comments/criticism good or bad. We will not be sharing this time either

My BFF has unique, but not odd, names for her sons and her ILs were terrible when they shared names.

@poohniki‌ my bil and sil told everyone their son's name was going to be Benjamin. The day he was born they picked a different name! I still have trouble not calling him Benjamin and he is 2! (FWIW, I really like Benjamin!)

southernyankeegirl

We told. That said, we had a name we were 95% with in the beginning and ended up changing our minds. A few people have said they preferred that name (James) to the name we picked (Ryan), but that doesn't bother me.  However, some people would prefer no comments whatsoever.  So until you are sure, probably best to not share.

For us, we felt we needed to tell FIL before we even found out if it were a boy or a girl so he was prepared in case it was a boy (and it is) that we're not naming him the Fourth (DH is a Third).  FIL took it about as well as could be expected (some mild push back, but ultimately came around).  By the time we found out it was a boy and told him, FIL excitedly said, "Baby Ryan!" which made me very happy we prepared him ahead of time.

I also do want a few things personalized, though only a few.  I did ask the shower hosts to NOT share the name, just that it's a boy.  We hope to re-use most items with any future children we may have so we don't want everything monogrammed & personalized.  We don't mind "boy-ish" things, because we would still use most of them if we have a girl, but only a few select items with Ryan's name that will be his to keep (a blanket, some decorations, etc.)

Neesey

We are team green so we are sharing names. MIL told DH that Wesley was too feminine for a boy but I don't care and neither does he. We don't agree and this is our baby to name, not hers. She made life difficult for her daughter by giving her the same bane as her dad. No one knows which one is being talked to or about. Not sharing names is up there with gender reveals for me. I just don't get it but to each her own.

KT416

We haven't discussed it yet, but I want to keep it a secret for all the reasons mentioned above. I don't want or care for other people's opinions and I don't want it to confuse me. My SIL for whatever reason put her top choices on FB for opinions and everyone HATED her favorite choice, which she went for anyway. So I'm not sure what the point of that was.

We are probably going to reveal the gender so the name will be a surprise.

My aunt was going to name her daughter Kelly, but took one look at her and saw that she was a Kerri instead So I also want to keep it open because we have a few that we proably will like.

CandaceC1020

No.  We are waiting to tell everyone until she's born.  I made the mistake of telling my mom what name I liked for a boy and she had no problems telling me that she didn't care for the name.  No matter what, someone will always have something to say about the baby's name so be prepared.

pblge

@Neesey‌ - I love Wesley! DH doesn't. Have your MIL watch The Princess Bride.

kmc84

@Neesey one of my friends has a son named Wesley!

SKLH

Ducky719 said:

We were lucky and Sophie was very well received. Joy, her middle name, was not (by my mother). I've got really tough skin so it just rolled off. I def would have waited if i was feeling sensitive tho...which honestly is how I'm feeling this time so i may wait. At least until we find out gender.

@Ducky719 Joy wasn't received well!? We are picking the middle name Joy too and I LOVE it!

Neesey

@pblge‌ and @kmc84‌ glad you guys like it too. Most reactions have been super positive. Hers was the only negative. She's seen Princess Bride but I think because it isn't a "traditional" name she doesn't like it. Since our girl pick is loosely after my sister's name, she knew not to touch that one!

Mrs.McIrish

We are still working on names but have 2 that we agreed on. But we are still looking to see if something "better" pops up. I made DH promise not to share the names with his family bc I don't want the commentary/opinions etc. I did tell my mom and 2 friends what the "possible" names are but made it clear that they weren't set in stone yet. It personally bugs me when people refer to the baby by name before they are actually born and no one can do this if they don't know the name.

Siona1976

I thought we'd be originally in the camping of telling our names, but with twins coming I wanted to find out the sexes (I'm a planner). My husband really wants at least one surprise for the birth, so the names it is . . .we have a short list of about 5 - 6 names but I think our decision will be made once we see them. I'll admit, I'm kinda of stressed about it, but at the same time kinda of excited. 

runawaylaurel

We are not sharing. We don't have names picked out yet, but my mother does (?!?!). She is insistent on calling the fetus "Auggie" for either August (boy) or Augusta (girl). Fine names, but definitely not what we're choosing. Since she's being so odd about it, I've decided we're 100% keeping our names between just my husband and me. 

lincoln79

We are not. We are team green and have a short list of a couple of names, but we have had enough flack about using IVF and then a surrogate. I just don't have the strength to take any more gruff from people.

hopeby2015

If people ask, we give em a list of names we're considering because just like you, dh is 100% and I'm 95% set on the name. So I like the idea of keeping it a surprise and at the same time, reserve the right to change it if we find something better. Also, I really hate it when people call the baby by a name. Dh does it and it drives me nuts! I feel like I'm jinxing it!

Lady2010

We started a list on our one year anniversary trip (3 + years ago!).  We have a definite girl's name, and a back up just in case.  And we are pretty sure on the boys names (but have alternates).

We are not sharing with anyone - and we are team Green.  This of course drives people nuts.  Our reasons for not sharing - we don't want to hear any judgement on names - and I feel like once we announce our baby with their name, anyone who has a strong opinion of the name will hopefully keep it to him or herself.

Momarazzi007

Last pregnancy I held out so long dh's family was pissed. I didn't feel like I HAD to tell anyone. They are so judgmental and I just wanted it to ourselves for a bit incase we changed it (reasons you said!). We ended up using it and telling them- but on our terms where both families were together so his mom couldn't blab it and hold it over Evernote that she knew before them. I never realized how much drama could happen over a name! This time, I think we will still have the same Drama, but I'm ready for it and they know I will stick my ground until I'm ready. Only say it if you are sure you are sure that you are sure then, ignore any comments!!!

cls78

Not until after they are born. We really don't want opinions from our families. I have told a few strangers and got good feedback. . lol. We agreed with names pretty quick. (good thing we are having girls, because we struggled with boy names).

We are 98% sure we are going with...

Claire Elizabeth and Isla Irene