One year old twins and just found out I'm pregnant

eandk18

I know there are others on here.... oh my gosh.  It took us almost 4 years, 3 rounds of clomid, 2 iuis and ultimately one round of IVF to get our twin girls.  They just turned one.  We had a weekend away and had some drinks and didn't use protection.  I freaked out but my DH said, eh, whatever happens, happens.  We never thought that one night would lead to pregnancy.  We had been using the pull out method before this, this is the first time not using it.  I'm just in a real state of shock right now.  The only reason I tested is because I was having some early pg symptoms but I thought it was all in my head.  I wanted to prove to myself I wasn't so I could just forget about it and wait for my period.  I'll admit I cried when I saw the result  I'm feeling a little better and my DH is very happy and told me everything will be ok.  

Sorry for the novel, I just am freaking out about potentially having three under two.  We are grownups, we know what we did....just never thought it would happen so soon the second time around.  I feel guilty for feeling this way too, the sticks are barely dry...a lot could go wrong in the next 2 months and i should just feel grateful.  I go back and forth between being scared of having three kids and scared of losing the pregnancy.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent.  

CaliCarly77

I got a lot of sh*t for not being grateful from the tttc crowd when I posted about how scared I was to have found out we were having twins, then spent a week ugly crying. 

You are definitely entitled to feel like this. This is totally unexpected, you just went through probably the toughest year of your life. This wasn't planned. You don't know if you are ready. Having kids is a HUGE life changing event. You are totally entitled to all of the emotions. Happy, sad, upset, scared, excited. Any and all. Don't worry about it, you can do this. And don't feel guilty for your fears. 

MrsP419

My twins were the surprised pregnancy and our first two were planned.  When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I had a 1.5 year old and a 3 year old, and I definitely cried over the news.  It was not that I didn't want my babies or that I did not love them; I was just terrified of the logistics and would not have asked for this particular situation.  I now have four under 5 (three of which are under 3) and it is going very well, but it is absolutely not wrong to take some time to get used to the idea!  Being scared and worried does not make you ungrateful.

Wishing35

Totally agree with previous posters. Give yourself time to adjust to the news and don't feel guilty for what you feel it's natural to be overwhelmed. My girls just turned a year last month and we are having a new baby in October. When I found out I was pregnant I was shocked as well, we had not Been preventing but not really trying either. Now I'm excited to have a new little one , in time you may feel the same as well.

SBmomma

I have a 2 year old son & my hubby & I just found out we are pregnant with twins. This news was such a shock I started crying while I was still with my doc. We keep going through mixed emotions....partly grateful & excited but also terrified! Never feel bad or guilty for what you feel. As the weeks pass you will get more & more used to the idea. To be honest, I'd rather be in your shoes. You already had the twins....but we have yet to learn & experience what having twins is all about. lol

eandk18

Thank you all for the kind words....I'm feeling much better today.  I'm just going to take it one day at a time  

so72409

We got pregnant with this singleton when our twin girls were 16mon. It completely unplanned (though not prevented) but with our history of infertility we didn't think it would happen. It took me several weeks to accept it was happening. We couldn't be more thrilled now! Luckily you have 9 months to prepare :-). My girls have changed and matured so much as well. That has helped me tremendously! It will still be crazy and hard once #3 is here but we are ready now. My girls will have just turned 2 when #3 is born in November.

so72409

linegirl313 said:

@so72409 and @eandk18, can we be friends?

I don't post on this board a ton, but I pop in sometimes.  My twins are 16 months old and I just found out on Monday that I am pregnant.  Same thing-- fertility treatments the first time around, didn't think it could happen, shocked, etc.  I feel bad that I am just now starting to feel some joy about it.  It's still so early, but I am  wondering how in the heck I am going to manage three little ones with no family members in the same state and how we will get by financially in the long run.  I also just can't believe I got pregnant without help after all of our issues.  I know a lot of people have kids back to back to back, but I'm afraid I'll run out of time and attention for them.  And yet I'm also completely elated and can't wait to tell people.   Anyway, I just wanted to give @eandk18 a hug and say you're not alone!

This was me, too!!!!  We had, in a sense, "mourned" our fertility and decided while pregnant with the girls that we didn't want to go through treatments again, so we had made peace with being "two and through".  It was very hard for me emotionally to accept, so when I found out I was pregnant the good ole fashion way, I felt so guilty for not be elated.  It was what we always had wanted, right?!  Yes, but the reality of 3 under 2 is overwhelming and scary!  We have definitely come to terms now and we are so excited and couldn't feel more blessed for this amazing little miracle!

CaliCarly77

You guys are all making me want to go for #3!!!! 

megs2011

I know how you feel. My twins were 15 months old when we found out we were pregnant with our surprise #3. I cried when the pee stick turned positive especially knowing that the due date would be really close to the twins bday. I'm due Sept 22nd (Monday! Eek! With an induction scheduled for the 25th.. trying for a VBAC) and their bday is Sept 30th (they will be 2). Give yourself time to adjust. I didn't think I would get pregnant from one night of unprotected sex... things happen. I should mention that #3 is wanted... just happened a lot sooner than I wanted although DH was super excited bc its the age gap he wanted. I feel guilty because I would have liked more time as our little family of 4 before expanding. Also, would have like him to have a different month for a bday. My twins get jipped as it is and now all 3 of my kids will.

PaprikaBug

I haven't posted on here in... years! My twins are 3years 5months and my baby is 20 months... I read this post and had a flashback. My girls were 12months when I became pregnant with baby boy and I cried for 3 months. I gained the same amount of weight in pregnancy, BUT he was two weeks late and I ended up having one of those incredible VBAC's and nursing him was amazing(I did nurse the twins, but did NOT enjoy it).... Anyways, just wanted to say. I LOVE #3! He was a surprise and I was not honestly excited until he was born, but he was/is amazing. And it was very special to have a single baby after twins. I love my twins, but when they became toddlers they became very interdependent and they don't really need me. My little boy was/is very cuddly and he was my therapy after the very wonderful and rough months after the twins. Now all three play quite well, and they are all there own unique personalities. These years have not been easy, and I still miss sleep some nights, but it is all worth it. Hugs to you mama! Don't feel guilty, don't blame your husband or yourself. And let yourself cry and feel overwhelmed. It's okay. And believe me... I used a pillow for a punching bag many days. Its frustrating, overwhelming and crazy. 

One more note... I crazily tried to potty train the twins before #3 was born and then felt like a failure when they didn't potty train until they were almost 3. That was nonsense in my head. Changing diapers x3 a day is hard, but changing 1 and taking 2 others to the potty every 15 minutes isn't a whole lot easier, so do what you have to do to survive. 

courtlandmatthew

So glad I am not alone- my son Matthew just turned 2, mary is almost 9 months and we decided to have just one more- turns out I am expecting twins.  We will have 4 under 2.5- I am literally just getting over the shock and we had our 20 week ultrasound today- it has taken me a long time to get over the shock