Doula?

mexbaby

Is it entirely necessary for FTM to have a doula when I am already going to a midwife? I just want to be successful in a natural birth and want all the help I can get. Would my midwife be enough support and help?

mb314

I think it really depends upon your midwife and your midwife group.  I go to a midwife group, affiliated with a major hospital.  When I was at the hospital, laboring, the midwife on duty was not in the room with me very much.  DH and nurses were there, but the midwife only came in occasionally to check up on me.  It was kind of like what a traditional OB does, I think - checks up on your progress, and comes in when it's time to push/deliver.  For my midwife group, there's one midwife on duty checking up on all the midwife patients.  Other midwives may only have you as their focus and will be with you the entire time, like a doula. 

That said, we didn't hire a doula, and I didn't need one in retrospect.  DH and I had done Bradley classes, so DH was "trained" in being my coach.  Also, I was at a natural-birth friendly hospital so I never had to "fight" to avoid interventions.  Everyone at the hospital was supportive of my natural birth plan. The nurses were great in suggesting better breathing techniques and positions.  Finally, and maybe most importantly, I had a relatively quick labor - so I didn't really need suggestions for speeding things up and DH didn't need a "break" to rest himself. 

Doulas can be a great asset, but aren't necessary for a natural birth.  I think you have to figure out how much training you and DH will be doing ahead of time, how supportive your hospital is of natural birth, and how much time your midwife is likely to spend with you in the room.

jennypolkadots

Like pp said, it depends on your midwife. I would definitely have a doula if I just had one midwife and was delivering in the hospital. The midwife, just like an OB, will likely not be in the room much until the actual pushing.

My midwives have two midwives and two midwife assistants. At my birth (out of hospital) I will have undivided attention of my midwife and at least one midwife assistant. They all love going to births though and it's not uncommon for either of the other two just to come for more support. I will also have my husband who has been learning massage techniques and reading about ways to help me through labor. With this situation, I do not plan to have a doula.

But once I met a midwife in a birth center who requires doulas for first time mothers. It really had a huge impact on her transfer rates. The #1 reason for OOH birth transfer is for pain medicine, not for emergencies. I think the national rate is like 40% for first time moms. So if your midwife recommends it, I would definitely do it. Sometimes you can also find doulas in training that need experience and will attend your birth for free if you don't think you will need much support. 

marriedinaugust

I did not have one last time and didn't feel I needed one. We gave birth in a natural friendly hospital and took Bradley classes to prepare. I felt like DH was prepared to be my "doula" but I didn't have a super long birth so he never really needed a break. I had a midwife and she was great but she was only there for the end of pushing (2hrs). My nurse was fabulous and left us alone except for intermittent monitoring and whe I was pushing.

It really depends on how prepared you and your SO feel and whether or not you feel like your birth team will help guide you to the birth you want. Good luck!

ryemo

Many hospital midwives will encourage you to have a doula--they can't be in the room all of the time, and their job is entirely different. The doula is always by your side, and is concerned with your comfort and making sure you're an active participant in all decisions. The midwife has other patients, and she's concerned first and foremost with you and your baby's well being. I'm an experienced soul and a student midwife--while the roles sometimes cross, there is always room for a doula at a birth.

thejucheidea

I'm having a doula because while my husband is very supportive and the most comforting person in my life, he sometimes goes into mental lockdown if I'm upset about something. One of our closest friends happens to be a doula, so she'll be my 100% birth support person so that my husband can be comfortable too.

So I think it depends on your birth support system.

sschwege

Is it necessary?  No, I didn't have a doula for either of my hospital births and didn't regret not having one.  

As to your second question, whether a MW would be enough support for you, if it's a hospital birth, probably not.  Which is to say I would not go into it relying on your MW for much support before the pushing phase.  MWs can be very busy with other patients and there is no predicting how much support they will be able to provide.  With my first I was in the hospital about 7 hours before DD was born, I saw my MW twice before I started pushing.  The first time it was in triage and the second time I requested she check me, but even so I think it took her an hour or close to it to come, another patient was pushing and it was an extremely busy day in L & D.  

If you don't think you want a doula I would suggest a few things, first check and see if your hospital has volunteer doulas, mine did.  I would also strongly recommend taking a class and doing further research on your own with your partner so your SO can learn how to support you.  Another suggestion would be to consider asking another support person to be in the room with you, if you are comfortable with the idea.  First labors can be long and this way you have someone who can relieve your SO if they need to eat something, use the bathroom, take a break from massaging, etc.  The first time around it was my MIL in the room and the second time my mom.  It was nice to have someone who could sit with me in the back seat on the way to the hospital, get a cold rag for me, dim the lights, get snacks for DH, that type of thing.

tahitiandreamin

I didn't have a doula the first time around.  It worked out because my care had to be transferred from my midwife to an ob due to pre-exclampsia.  My midwife was then able to act as my doula.  That made a HUGE difference.  DH and I had been preparing for him to be my birth coach.  As much as I love DH and think he's a great guy... he was pretty useless at the hospital.  I needed someone who could anticipate my needs and he just froze up.  I had to tell him exactly what I needed.  I realized that for me, I need a woman who understands and can tell me what might work. 

This time around, there is no doubt that I will be getting a doula.