What do you guys do in these situations?

chelseymat

I took my kids to an indoor play place this morning for a couple of hours. DS1 was minding his own business building a block tower with these large foam blocks. This group of kids (actually it was mostly one kid) kept coming over an deliberately knocking it down, pushing DS, hitting him with the foam blocks ect. There moms were no where in sight. DS kept repeating "please stop I'm playing with those" and did a great job using his words. Finally I got involved and asked the kids to stop. They left for a few minutes but came right back and knocked his stuff over again while I was turned around dealing with DD. Then the kid started swinging blocks again. DS asked him to stop one more time and then shoved the kid backward as hard as he could and the kid ran off crying. I'm not going to lie, I was proud of him (I didn't tell him that though)….but I'm not sure that is the correct approach. I mean the little asshole had it coming but I also don't want to teach DS he can push/hit whatever. Has anyone ever had this happen to their littles? What do you do? If it makes a difference, DS1 has never hit, pinched, kicked or touched another kid that I know about and he's almost 5. He doesn't even hit or push DS2 so the whole thing was out of character for him.

bumpuser8448316

At that point I'll go find the parent, explain the situation and ask them to handle it. I'm all for my kids resolving their own conflicts but when a kid is making so that other kids can't play then the other parents need to be involved. I've had this situation happen countless times. If the kids won't listen to me I get their parents unless I can convince my kid to leave. It royally pisses me off though to have to make my kids leave because other kids are being jerks.

chelseymat

I'm wrong for being proud of him for finally shoving the kid back right?

MomIn2013

I don't know if it's wrong, but I am fairly certain I'd feel exactly the same way as you do about the pushing. I l know that pushing/violence isn't the answer, but I also know that there will be times when I'm not there and DS will have to fend for himself and I'd hope that he'll stand up for himself.

I might have a discussion with him about alternate ways that he could have handled the situation. It sounds like the other kid was a huge jerk, though, and sometimes the only way to deal with people like that is to walk away.

spring_time

chelseymat said:

I'm wrong for being proud of him for finally shoving the kid back right?

You are proud of him for standing up for himself. I don't think that is wrong.  Now, you can talk about a better way to do it.  

Wrong or not, I would probably feel the same way.

kcisthebombdotcom

I'd internally feel proud that my kid tried to initially do the right thing then stood up for himself. When I was speaking with my child I would probably take momin2013s approach and have your son brainstorm more socially appropriate ways of handling the situation.

spring_time

Kimbus22 said:

This reminds me of 6th grade.  A girl stole my glasses and tried to choke me on the bus.  So I punched her in the face.  I was so scared to go home and tell my parents.  When I finally did, they burst out laughing and said, "Good for you!  She had it coming!".

That was probably not the correct thing for them to do but it really helped me at the time and it didn't make me think it was okay to hit people randomly.  But when you're being physically attacked you're allowed to fight back. 

In your case, it's harder because your kid is younger and may not get the nuances of it but the kid was hitting him, he'd tried multiple times to stop him and it kept happening.  So he took the next step.  I'd have a hard time telling him he should have behaved differently but I'd try to talk with him about other ways he could have tried to resolve it.  I'd personally probably would have just just stood there yelling, "Who does the kid in the blue shirt belong to?  You need to discipline him before I go complain and have him removed."

Similar thing happened to me, only my dad showed me how to throw a better punch. Never needed to use the info, but if I do I know to keep my thumb out and throw from the shoulder

bumpuser8448316

chelseymat said:

I'm wrong for being proud of him for finally shoving the kid back right?

Nope. DS was being pushed around at the park and after exhausting every defense I've taught him he stuck his foot out and tripped the other kid. I totally laughed

brachysira

These people who do not watch their kids and then think they are angels...are apparently at every indoor play place--and it seems, the more expensive the place, the worse the kids...  My 19 month y.o. has pushed much bigger kids out of the way who just sort of push her to the side, and I think she should...  If she initiates pushing someone else out of the way to get to toys, I move her.  I just don't get how you can take your kid places and not watch them...although I have definitely seen parents who are watching their kids condone their preschooler assualting my 1 year-old.

littlemermaid

chelseymat said:

I'm wrong for being proud of him for finally shoving the kid back right?

Your not wrong, your kid was sticking up for himself.  He nicely asked the child to stop more than once.  The little twerp deserved to be pushed.   

Keeptruckin

I think we all feel a bit proud when our kids stand up for themselves. Like other pp said, you can talk about other ways to handle situations like that.

chelseymat

The kid that was bothering DS also like 5. And I did intervene several times and the kids left after the second time. The problem was I was helping DD not get trampled and turned around and didn't see them come back. And of course didn't tell DS I was proud of him. I told him not to push kids….It certainly wasn't the best way he could have handled it. I was just proud on the inside he stood up for himself. I just never know what to do in those situations. I feel like I could have found the mom but since she was no where to be found and the kid was bothering other kids all over the play place I'm guessing she wasn't too concerned with her kid and his behavior anyway. And both DS and I had told the kid to stop….It doesn't matter now. This particular play place seems to have repeated problems so I just won't go back. I think the PP was right, the more expensive the place the worst the clientele