Working Moms

Why I can't be on the PTO

SunAndRainSunAndRain member
edited August 2014 in Working Moms

DD's school is doing a fundraiser, asking for 3-4 figures per donation. I agree to lead this effort.  That was my first mistake.

I receive the letter I'm supposed to use...I read it...It isn't great. I gently offer some feedback; That was my second mistake.  I even called the head of the school to ensure that I didn't ruffle feather nor misunderstand the letter's intent and we had a great conversation. I receive the revised letter with BOTH the old AND the new verbiage. So now it just sounds completely stupid. I write back: was the intent to include the old sentence? I get a response along the lines of "I think so".

Um no.  You either want to portray the school as being run by literate adults (which they are!) or you want to portray the school as being disorganized to the extent that they cannot publish a well written letter.

It is like dealing with work crap only worse because my social life is so wrapped up in it.

Apparently I'm for too Type A to participate in these volunteer opportunities.  I think after this one, I'm going to throw money at the matter and stop volunteering my time.

Sorry to sound so bitchy, I'm just annoyed.

Re: Why I can't be on the PTO

  • If you are leading it, I would just change the letter.  Do you need to get it approved?
    Was it the head of school that "fixed" it or an admin?  I would just change it and send it to them for approval.

    I understand your pain.  It is a great exercise in patience for me to get involved with these things.  I am currently putting off filling out our "volunteer survey" for the year because of the stress that I had around last year's activities.
  • I can't change the letter - they PDF'd it.
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  • That's some high dollar donations.
  • For donations that large, the letter needs to be quality. I would draft a new letter and send it back to them. They obviously can't be trusted to incorporate your suggested changes.
    If you need the letter head, ask for the word document.

  • If you are in charge, I'd just send them what you want the letter to say, and ask them to use your copy.
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  • I feel your pain - the struggle to get things done right while not appearing to be telling people what to do is always stressful and why I tend to stay away from volunteering to organise things!

    In this situation, I'd try an e-mail that says something along the lines of - "the letter still doesn't look right, rather than us go back and forward with suggestions, why don't you send me the Word document, I'll make some changes and you can see what you think"

    And then write the whole damn thing properly :-\"
    2 children - DD born Dec 2004, DS born Jan 2007
    British born, emigrated to Canada 2006
  • aditigirl said:
    Do you mean PTA? I'm so confused.

    Our school calls it PTO as well. Parent Teacher Organization. No idea why though

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  • Kewii said:


    aditigirl said:

    Do you mean PTA? I'm so confused.



    Our school calls it PTO as well. Parent Teacher Organization. No idea why though
    Because to call yourself a PTA you need to join and pay for the national organization

    *currently incorporating our PTO.


    They are structured differently and probably have different rules. We have a PTSA and PBO at the school I work at.
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  • If your name will be at the bottom of it, by all means, send out what YOU want!

    I became an officer of the PTC this year partly in an effort to improve our communications. It wasn't terrible as a whole, but some committees would do things like put out their event flyers assuming everyone is familiar with the events, so they have little more than the name, date and time on them.
  • If you are in charge, you should be able to revise the letter. I am co-president of our PTO and we empower the individuals who have taken on the task of chairing a committee.  If something needs approved by leadership, we work with the chair/lead but ultimately it is their name on the item. I don't have time to micromanage and most adults don't want to be micromanaged. Good Luck!
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  • Well, I backed out. I HATE backing out of things and rarely, if ever do so. BUT, they won't give me the autonomy to make things better. I'm not comfortable with the quality of letters and the way they represent the school. And I have enough micromanagement to deal with at work. So for the sake of my sanity, I made the choice to step away.

    Given all the volunteering I did last year, I'm really annoyed overall at the lack of courtesy. But I realized that this is what I'll have to deal with if I continue volunteering, and I'm just not up to the headaches.

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