UO/rants

kleigh926

I hope someone has something interesting to say... this board is seriously dead, and it seemed to correlate with the most recent blowup and GBCB's.... 

kleigh926

The other night I was freaking out about the thought of breastfeeding again because I had a lot of issues with DD and didn't really like it at all most of the time. I was *thisclose* to making the decision to FF from the start and not even try BF'ing. Then I realized that I don't feel like washing a million bottles everyday and decided to try BF'ing after all. My reasons for BF'ing are purely selfish: weight loss, saving money, and not washing bottles. I feel a little guilty about that, but not much. 

ETA: I hope this doesn't sound like I'm rehashing the FF vs. BF thing, because I am SO not trying to do that. My feelings about the topic are just kind of complicated and it was on my mind since I'll be doing it again soon. 

SummerLove21

DS still does not sleep with a blanket, pillow, toy, lovey, bottle, anything.  Him and his pajamas are the only things in that crib.  I just don't find it necessary (at least, not for him).

I don't like cats or kittens.  Yes, kittens.  I worked at a humane shelter for a while and those little boogers will claw the crap out of you.  Call it kitten-induced PTSD.

I don't care that Brad and Angie "finally" tied the knot.  Who gives a hoot?  And what's more...I don't even think she's all that pretty.  Not that she needs to be, but the general "Angelina is the hottest woman in the world!!!" opinion makes no sense to me. 

SummerLove21

kleigh926 said:

The other night I was freaking out about the thought of breastfeeding again because I had a lot of issues with DD and didn't really like it at all most of the time. I was *thisclose* to making the decision to FF from the start and not even try BF'ing. Then I realized that I don't feel like washing a million bottles everyday and decided to try BF'ing after all. My reasons for BF'ing are purely selfish: weight loss, saving money, and not washing bottles. I feel a little guilty about that, but not much. 

ETA: I hope this doesn't sound like I'm rehashing the FF vs. BF thing, because I am SO not trying to do that. My feelings about the topic are just kind of complicated and it was on my mind since I'll be doing it again soon. 

I was thinking I am more open to FF if needed this time around.  Last time, I was so desperate to just BF, even when I knew my milk supply was not adequate and DS wasn't gaining any weight or growing.  Looking back, I wish I would have supplemented towards the end, if just for my peace of mind.  Not to mention I put up with five months of him biting me.  I refuse to do that again. 

ericalee27

uncaripswife said:

My UO is that I'm desperate for a vacation with my husband and without DD. If we had someone I felt comfortable leaving her with for a week I'd already have it booked. I need some quality couple time.

Agreed! DH and I have had one overnight night alone since DS1 was born. Our 10th anniversary is next summer, I'm hoping we can get a legit trip away with just the two of us.

kleigh926

SummerLove21 said:

kleigh926 said:

The other night I was freaking out about the thought of breastfeeding again because I had a lot of issues with DD and didn't really like it at all most of the time. I was *thisclose* to making the decision to FF from the start and not even try BF'ing. Then I realized that I don't feel like washing a million bottles everyday and decided to try BF'ing after all. My reasons for BF'ing are purely selfish: weight loss, saving money, and not washing bottles. I feel a little guilty about that, but not much. 

ETA: I hope this doesn't sound like I'm rehashing the FF vs. BF thing, because I am SO not trying to do that. My feelings about the topic are just kind of complicated and it was on my mind since I'll be doing it again soon. 

I was thinking I am more open to FF if needed this time around.  Last time, I was so desperate to just BF, even when I knew my milk supply was not adequate and DS wasn't gaining any weight or growing.  Looking back, I wish I would have supplemented towards the end, if just for my peace of mind.  Not to mention I put up with five months of him biting me.  I refuse to do that again. 


------stupid mobile quoting------
Oh, the biting was horrible. I actually want to wean at 6 months this time in order to avoid that. If he gets teeth and bites earlier, that'll be it. I had an open sore that took months to heal and terrible nipple pain because of biting.

ericalee27

luxannie said:

The thought of a pumpkin spice latte makes me want to vomit. And punch anyone who tells me how wonderful they are.

This is extremely unpopular with me!!!  )

cinnasugar

Sagen said:

This morning I get up, get kids ready for school, pack snacks, make eggs and spinach mango and banana smoothies. Go take them to the bus stop, after I take the baby for a bike ride, come home, read to him, take a quick shower, and get ready. Meet up with my friend and her kids. Come home, and put the baby down for a nap. So instead of feeling accomplished I look around at my messy house and I am like ugh why can't I keep this place cleaner. Mind you I am going to get off of her in a minute and clean up, but for the time being it is pretty messed up. Am I the only one that wants to be all things at all times and just struggles with letting go? 

I am so jealous of my husband sometimes because I feel like has it so much easier. It is my own neurotic fault, but still. He doesn't second guess himself all the time. He doesn't feel like a bad dad if he gets frustrated and yells, he says sorry and is over it. I end up in this pity spiral where I am beating myself up for not being the adult, for losing my cool. Logically I know that no one is perfect so why do I try so hard to be it, and beat myself up so much when I am not there? I feel like I have gotten better at it, but I still just try and fail, lather rinse repeat. 

My house is not horribly messy by any means, but why do I feel the need to keep it guest ready when 1) I hate cleaning with all my heart 2) we don't really my guest over and I do clean it well then and 3) it just gets dirty 5 seconds later. It is like I am a perfectionist, people pleasing person, but also lazy which is a deadly combination

You are not alone.  I am pretty much like this all the time.  And then I get frustrated with DH because he doesn't feel the guilt that I do about life in general.  Why are we like this?

jesuisfatiguee

UO: I like labels in relationships. I don't take any comfort in the "We don't need labels, we're just doing our thing" attitude. I'm way too jaded for that biz. 

jesuisfatiguee

I also have a rant. Sry.

I have been WAY overthinking the past couple of days and can't seem to stop myself. I have all these creeping feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, and I really hate that. I feel like an actual crazy person

ally2011

I am sad that wifeofadam and peanut1 left and I wish they would come back and no grudges be held on any side.  In the threads that blew up several people said very ugly things about or to other posters here and I think the "what she said was the worst" or "well she was emotional", etc. etc. is really unfortunate....and not true, it was all bad.  Several people were nasty on those threads and I wish that it could all be forgiven and forgotten and that they would be welcomed back here.  Both were long time posters and whether you (general you) personally agree with them on issues or not, they often added value and insight to posts that I for one miss.

ally2011

jesuisfatiguee said:

I also have a rant. Sry.

I have been WAY overthinking the past couple of days and can't seem to stop myself. I have all these creeping feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, and I really hate that. I feel like an actual crazy person

I am literally going to come to your house and make you get a hobby.  I mean that in friendship  But for real, in my experience, these feelings come more easily when you don't have enough going on without a man.....in other words, when the relationship/person is what defines you.  Does that make sense?  I may be totally off base, and if so, I apologize.  But if I am not, give it some thought....

ally2011

luxannie said:

The thought of a pumpkin spice latte makes me want to vomit. And punch anyone who tells me how wonderful they are.

Punch away you kook....they are delicious!

ally2011

@Sagen - I could have written that!  You are not alone!

ally2011

Sagen said:

ally2011 said:

I am sad that wifeofadam and peanut1 left and I wish they would come back and no grudges be held on any side.  In the threads that blew up several people said very ugly things about or to other posters here and I think the "what she said was the worst" or "well she was emotional", etc. etc. is really unfortunate....and not true, it was all bad.  Several people were nasty on those threads and I wish that it could all be forgiven and forgotten and that they would be welcomed back here.  Both were long time posters and the you (general you) personally agree with them on issues or not, they often added value and insight to posts that I for one miss.

I think the Peanut part would be an U/O. I thought what she said was OTT, and catty with her GBCG. 

In the posts before hers she was called a bully and implied b___ch, jumped on for defending WOA, and then made fun of for having her cabinets redone like she is an elite snob.  I thought all of that was OTT too.  That's my point, it was ALL nasty and unfortunate and I wish it would be forgotten and they both be welcomed back.  

ETA - I did go back to re-read, I didn't actually remember all of that.  I like everyone here so am not trying to pick on anyone, I thought it was all bad and wish we could all just make up and be happy again darnit.  

ally2011

I don't think I want to know what a skin coat is.  It is conjuring up a lot of terrible images frankly

jesuisfatiguee

ally2011 said:

jesuisfatiguee said:

I also have a rant. Sry.

I have been WAY overthinking the past couple of days and can't seem to stop myself. I have all these creeping feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, and I really hate that. I feel like an actual crazy person

I am literally going to come to your house and make you get a hobby.  I mean that in friendship  But for real, in my experience, these feelings come more easily when you don't have enough going on without a man.....in other words, when the relationship/person is what defines you.  Does that make sense?  I may be totally off base, and if so, I apologize.  But if I am not, give it some thought....

Girl, I overthink all kinds of things. It's like my mind isn't happy unless it's obsessing and stressing over something. 

I have let many a relationship define me in the past, but that's not what's going on currently. I am trying really hard not to take offense, since I know you are not meaning to be offensive at all... but what exactly do you mean, "You need a hobby"?  I read, I am involved in a few message boards - TB as well as a couple abuse survivor boards, I have recently started exercising alllmost daily... I have a friend who is now coming over on a weekly basis to drink wine and chat... I am learning to cook. And of course, there's Netflix for the times between  

You'd think in all my busy days and nights, I wouldn't have time for overthinking and stressing over really silly stuff, but I am an excellent multi-tasker, apparently. 

And honestly, I feel like I am in a better place now to really delve into my own issues and shortcomings that are being stirred up due to a new romantic relationship than ever before. In addition to having to deal with my insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, I am also being faced with a lot of *stuff* that still needs healing and resolution from my previous controlling and most-recent extremely abusive relationship. I thought I'd dealt with a lot of it, but learned differently when I actually started dating again. 

All this overthinking is a problem, yes, but the challenge is where I let it take me. Do I become needy and dependent, and expect a man to make me feel good about myself? Or do I acknowledge these feelings and work through them to break the programming that's been running rampant my entire life? I've done the needy/clingy/dependent thing plenty. I'm over it now. I raised a newborn to a full year by myself - AND COUNTING. I don't need a partner to survive. It's just a process of figuring out how to be a normal, functioning human in the human world. I was raised by wolves, after all  

I am just going through a lot right now, and I fully recognize that it's all on me to figure out. 

ally2011

Sagen said:

I would have to go back and read. I guess I just hate being called a bunch of loser KWIM. Getting called snobby about her cabinets is crappy. I got what she was saying in that thread, and I don't think she meant it that way. I didn't really agree with her line of thinking, but I didn't see her cabinet comment that way. 

STUCK IN THE BOX

It was not directed at the entire board.  I understand how it read, but it wasn't. She lashed out at those she was engaging with in a moment of anger.  As did many others.

I don't mean to sound short to you, I am typing in a hurry while nap is being boycotted (darn you car transfer attempt!)  Anyway, I just didn't want to come across as snippy if I was....I am just rushing becuase I think my time is very limited!

jesuisfatiguee

Also RE: hobbies, I will be able to get out and do more as DS gets older and maybe as I start earning more money. A lot of solo at-home activities I am either doing or just don't enjoy. For instance, I have tried the painting thing (both for hobby reasons and therapeutic reasons) and it is just not for me lol 

ally2011

And thanks to the skin coat discussion I can't stop thinking about Silence of the Lambs which I wish, wish, wish I could go back in time and stop my teenage self from watching.  

ally2011

jesuisfatiguee said:

Also RE: hobbies, I will be able to get out and do more as DS gets older and maybe as I start earning more money. A lot of solo at-home activities I am either doing or just don't enjoy. For instance, I have tried the painting thing (both for hobby reasons and therapeutic reasons) and it is just not for me lol 

Just quoting this instead of the above to keep it shorter and because it sometimes messes up when I start trying to delete.  Yes, please do NOT be offended because I was absolutely trying to come from a place of friendship and did not mean it to sound like I think it might have.  Since we only engage here, I only know what I see posted here, and maybe unfairly rushed to judgement on some things based on that and my own life experiences with friends.  In your other post you hit the nail on the head as to what I was cautioning against - becoming needy and dependent - and it sounds like that is not an issue and that you are pretty self aware.  I am sorry for the past relationship struggles you have endured, and especially the abuse.  Huge hugs. 

SummerLove21

I don't see why we can't have the fun, hair-twirly threads anymore.  In fact...DH is working late tonight; who wants to do a Bump chat tonight?  (I can't remember what they are actually called.)  I won't be home until after 7 (which is late for a lot of you, I know), but are enough people interested that someone could start one around 7 Eastern?

ally2011

I don't really have any hobbies either, I am more of a cause person.  Right now I am trying to get meetings set up at local churches for our DSS because they are short on foster families.  I am wild and crazy I tell ya'.  But I do have gin in the pantry so there's that. 

ally2011

DD keeps faking me out and looking like she will drift off and then sits back up and starts playing with her dolls.  Hmmmmmmmmmm.  I guess she's at least resting, but it's making it hard to get into any real work because I don't know if I have 5 minutes or 45 minutes. 

wineandcake

My kid still has a bottle at bedtime and nap I'm going to try getting him off the bottle, but it's not going well at all.

I hate choosing books to read, but I love reading. Because of this, I have read the twilight series way more than I care to admit. It was entertaining, but not very good. I just keep reading it because I have it downloaded and I don't feel like choosing a new book.

jesuisfatiguee

Sagen said:

Don't you hate it when people ask your hobbies? I feel lame saying l like going to Target, reading, watching netflix, and perusing the internet. I feel like I should say something like sky driving, or making tiny ships in bottles. People I am boring, boring people don't care about hobbies!

**** (No offense @ally2011 just going off on a tangent now) 

ETA: WTF is with my format again!

OMG YES!!!

I even stretched a little up there saying I am learning to cook. It's true, but it's not like I'm in the kitchen sauteeing and broiling every night! lol

My hobby used to be lots of political activism, which was dynamic and exciting compared to what I do now, yet I still felt lame telling people at the time. 

colinsfebmommy

luxannie said:

::twirls in her skin coat::

I'm sorry but this made me laugh so hard that I just want to drive to your house so you can make me laugh more.

ally2011

thejack said:

The people who make their kids lunches all cutesy need to get a freakin hobby. I keep seeing these everywhere lately. Seriously.. People do this??! I hate cats with a passion. Re: ex bumpies - I'm sad I never got to hear what WOA's big UO (or was it FFFC) was. I saw that Drea was active on Aug 11 and didn't even stop by to say hey :-w I also saw Dubs posting on April15. And one more thing. Brad Pitt totally lost with Angelina. She may be 10 years younger than Jennifer Anniston but she looks 10 years older than her.

That is crazy cakes.  I don't even understand the desire to do that.

This is more my speed: https://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2014/08/how-to-get-kids-to-pack-their-own.html

jesuisfatiguee

luxannie said:

Didn't we bare our claws about hobbies a while back? Hobbies...ain't nobody got time for that. 

(Edited because posted too soon) 

I'm not gonna speak for Ally, but I think you're good in the hobby department @jesuisfatiguee‌. You kick ass and take names on a regular basis. I think you are the sum of your experiences thus far. And they're forcing you into overthinking and over analyzing. Especially if you're confronted with a relationship with someone whose history is nowhere as messy as your own. Big hugs. 

I'm gonna wear a Frenchie skin backpack because I'm crazy about you, girrrrrl.

It's like... it's like you really know me :x

jesuisfatiguee

ally2011 said:

jesuisfatiguee said:

Also RE: hobbies, I will be able to get out and do more as DS gets older and maybe as I start earning more money. A lot of solo at-home activities I am either doing or just don't enjoy. For instance, I have tried the painting thing (both for hobby reasons and therapeutic reasons) and it is just not for me lol 

Just quoting this instead of the above to keep it shorter and because it sometimes messes up when I start trying to delete.  Yes, please do NOT be offended because I was absolutely trying to come from a place of friendship and did not mean it to sound like I think it might have.  Since we only engage here, I only know what I see posted here, and maybe unfairly rushed to judgement on some things based on that and my own life experiences with friends.  In your other post you hit the nail on the head as to what I was cautioning against - becoming needy and dependent - and it sounds like that is not an issue and that you are pretty self aware.  I am sorry for the past relationship struggles you have endured, and especially the abuse.  Huge hugs. 

Trust me, this has been me. Many, many times. Something about that brain finally developing fully and cutting ties with a toxic family has helped me see a lot more clearly. 

ally2011

luxannie said:

Speaking of political activism, I used to heart Obama so much that I took a week off from work before the election in 2008 to door knock and register people to vote. I was a bit nutty. :-)

And once upon a time, I worked to get George W. re-elected.  

colinsfebmommy

luxannie said:

Speaking of political activism, I used to heart Obama so much that I took a week off from work before the election in 2008 to door knock and register people to vote. I was a bit nutty. :-)

Nope, now I cannot possibly come over

ally2011

And I think she just legit went to sleep.  At 4:45pm.  That seems bad.  

ally2011

luxannie said:

luxannie said:

Speaking of political activism, I used to heart Obama so much that I took a week off from work before the election in 2008 to door knock and register people to vote. I was a bit nutty. :-)

And once upon a time, I worked to get George W. re-elected.  

Oh man. Oh man. I can't even. :-\"

I know, I thought the same thing when I read your post

I mean that in jest, I am not a hardcore Republican and have plenty of issues with the party "platform".  I land a lot more in the middle on several issues and should probably change my affiliation to Independent at some point.  And I would still have lunch with you even if I was a diehard because I think we can learn a lot from (civil) political discussion/debate with those who think differently than ourselves.  Plus, it gives me a chance to help others see where they are wrong and I am right  Haha, just kidding about that part.  Mostly.  Haha.  No really, I was kidding.  

jesuisfatiguee

seadragon2013 said:

@jesuisfatiguee, I wasn't exactly a serial dater before getting married, but I remember a lot of anxiety and insecurity in all of my relationships, including with my H, at around the 3 month point. I really hated the feeling that the future of the relationship was out of my control. I think that is pretty normal. I hope that your dude gets over his issues with definitions soon! 

This was somehow extremely comforting to read. Thanks, girl!

I'll just keep repeating to myself that this is only temporary (the feelings), and I will be fine regardless of which way it goes - because I was fine before it ever got started

jesuisfatiguee

I was a Ron Paul person, y'all.

And I have been a lot of other "people." I lobbied my state reps and senators for and against many bills in 2011. I have friends who were able to take off work mid-day and engage in political theatre at the capitol building (amazing stuff, if you want a youtube link). 

I've held signs at peace rallies. I have chanted with the best of them about ending wars and creating transparency. 

I have had an exciting life lol I'm not gonna lie.

ally2011

Real talk - I think that a lot of what is perpetuated as liberals being bleeding hearts and conservatives being not compassionate is simply false.  For example, if conservatives fight for welfare reform, they are often labeled as hard hearted and uncaring.  In reality, our current welfare system quite often holds people in poverty and it could therefore also be argued that an unwillingness to change it is actually the uncaring act and not vice versa.  In reality, both sides have compassionate people who care and both sides have a-holes who don't (and this is true for every other stereotyped trait too probably).  I think the differences really often boil down to approach and method more than anything else.  We can both agree that we want to help those in poverty, but we may strongly disagree about how that is done.  

ally2011

@jesuisfatiguee - I have a picture of my dd and I with our House representative lobbying for a bill to support human trafficking efforts on behalf of the International Justice Mission when she was maybe 6ish months old.  We need to do more of that, I have slackened up as of late in my volunteer stuff, etc.  

tamarar5

I feel yucky.

My son has chicken pox. I have no idea where he was exposed because dd1 doesn't have it and they've been everywhere together. So unfortunately, know think we've got to cancel sending my husband and older kids to Chicago on Saturday.

I'm disappointed. I was so looking forward to a whole day if just snoozing and relaxing and snuggling with Amelia alone. But mostly just sleeping. She sleeps like 20 hours a day, so could I.

ally2011

See ya'll later....I have to go end this impromtu late nap.  I don't know what is going on today.....it's my own fault for running errands way into naptime, but still.  I fear bedtime if I let this go on much longer.  

jesuisfatiguee

luxannie said:

Did you live in an Occupy tent city during late 2011, @jesuisfatiguee‌? Back then, The best I could do was donate blankets and toiletries and bring coffee to the protestors posted up outside my office building in town here. Ps I'd love to see the videos!

Haha, no, I had a job! I wasn't actually involved in the Occupy stuff too much. A lot of other stuff, though.