No shower...kinda hurt

stvetter

First, this is my second marriage.  My husband has two boys from his first marriage (ages 6 & 7) and I have an internationally adopted son from my first marriage (age 6).  My best friend threw me a shower for my son who came home at 12 months of age so the shower was for "infant" items not "newborn" items.  It was a beautiful shower and she really went all out to make this mom feel special eventhough I wasn't pregnant.  So fast forward to this pregnancy.  We really faught hard for this pregnancy.  My husband had a vasectomy after his two sons in his first marriage so we went through two failed rounds of IVF (paid for out of pocket) and then had a vasectomy reversal 7 months before we conceived this baby.  Anyway, I did not expect anything since this is kinda our fourth child and I already had a baby shower for my first but the other day my husband asked me if anyone was going to throw me a shower.  I said no but the more I think about it, I'm really surprised that no one has even offered.  I have a mother-in-law and sister-in-law (who has four teenage daughters) who have not offered, I have five childhood gf's who I am extremely close to and not one of them has offered, I have a mother and teenage sister who have not offered, I have tons of aunts who have not offered, etc.  The only ones who have even mentioned doing something for me are two girls at work who I'm not even close to.  I really don't have too much for a newborn but that doesn't bother me....we can buy our own stuff but I'm hurt that no one has offered a diaper shower or gift cards or just to get together for dinner and celebrate the baby before he comes.  Am I wrong or should I just get over it?   

wildflower75

I would say that it's natural human instinct to be a little hurt but it's best to just get over it...

If you really want to celebrate with a big group then plan a sip and see after the baby is born...?

DaniGrace89

I think this is a case of people not knowing what to do. If you want to have a baby shower, I am sure that your family and friends would love to celebrate with you!!!

Maybe you can host your own! Like a barbecue or something?

ariel06

You don 't have to have a shower to celebrate the baby. Our friends and family were so sweet and generous with gifts for DS2 after he was born and dinners to make our lives easier.
If you truly just want a get together, not gifts, plan a girls night out or family BBQ before your due date.

IrishHoney123

stvetter said:

First, this is my second marriage.  My husband has two boys from his first marriage (ages 6 & 7) and I have an internationally adopted son from my first marriage (age 6).  My best friend threw me a shower for my son who came home at 12 months of age so the shower was for "infant" items not "newborn" items.  It was a beautiful shower and she really went all out to make this mom feel special eventhough I wasn't pregnant.  So fast forward to this pregnancy.  We really faught hard for this pregnancy.  My husband had a vasectomy after his two sons in his first marriage so we went through two failed rounds of IVF (paid for out of pocket) and then had a vasectomy reversal 7 months before we conceived this baby.  Anyway, I did not expect anything since this is kinda our fourth child and I already had a baby shower for my first but the other day my husband asked me if anyone was going to throw me a shower.  I said no but the more I think about it, I'm really surprised that no one has even offered.  I have a mother-in-law and sister-in-law (who has four teenage daughters) who have not offered, I have five childhood gf's who I am extremely close to and not one of them has offered, I have a mother and teenage sister who have not offered, I have tons of aunts who have not offered, etc.  The only ones who have even mentioned doing something for me are two girls at work who I'm not even close to.  I really don't have too much for a newborn but that doesn't bother me....we can buy our own stuff but I'm hurt that no one has offered a diaper shower or gift cards or just to get together for dinner and celebrate the baby before he comes.  Am I wrong or should I just get over it?   

Wait, you went through IVF before the vasectomy reversal? 

I sympathize with your feeling hurt that no one has offered you a shower, but showers are never owed to anyone. 

pnwlover12

@IrishHoney123‌ I was wondering about that too..I didn't even realize a vasectomy was reversible, whoops.

MuffinMom14

stvetter said:

First, this is my second marriage.  My husband has two boys from his first marriage (ages 6 & 7) and I have an internationally adopted son from my first marriage (age 6).  My best friend threw me a shower for my son who came home at 12 months of age so the shower was for "infant" items not "newborn" items.  It was a beautiful shower and she really went all out to make this mom feel special eventhough I wasn't pregnant.  So fast forward to this pregnancy.  We really faught hard for this pregnancy.  My husband had a vasectomy after his two sons in his first marriage so we went through two failed rounds of IVF (paid for out of pocket) and then had a vasectomy reversal 7 months before we conceived this baby.  Anyway, I did not expect anything since this is kinda our fourth child and I already had a baby shower for my first but the other day my husband asked me if anyone was going to throw me a shower.  I said no but the more I think about it, I'm really surprised that no one has even offered.  I have a mother-in-law and sister-in-law (who has four teenage daughters) who have not offered, I have five childhood gf's who I am extremely close to and not one of them has offered, I have a mother and teenage sister who have not offered, I have tons of aunts who have not offered, etc.  The only ones who have even mentioned doing something for me are two girls at work who I'm not even close to.  I really don't have too much for a newborn but that doesn't bother me....we can buy our own stuff but I'm hurt that no one has offered a diaper shower or gift cards or just to get together for dinner and celebrate the baby before he comes.  Am I wrong or should I just get over it?   

I understand you may feel upset. But, first of all, you don't know if they are maybe arranging some sort of surprise for you. And secondly, many, many people don't get even one shower. I'm sure people are excited about the baby. But, a lot of people don't believe in having showers for someone who is already a mother. Maybe they are in that camp, so it never crossed their minds.

If it's truly about celebrating the baby, not gifts (and the bolded above makes me maybe doubt that, but I want to believe you), then host a BBQ to have people over, or a Sip 'n See after the baby's here. You can't really host your own shower without looking gift-grabby, but you are welcome to throw a party to celebrate this baby that you waited so long for!

As for the second bolded, you are never wrong for feeling any way you want to feel, but you really have no choice BUT to get over it. Know that once the baby's here, people will be excited. Not having a shower will probably never even be a blip on your radar ever again.

stvetter

Thanks for your comments everyone.  I guess it didn't really bother me until my husband said something....which meant that someone else thought it was kinda weird I hadn't had a shower yet.  I don't want to throw something for myself because I think that's someone else's responcibility to take that step.  I know showers/sprinkles are alot of work and if no one on my end wants to put something together then I guess I will just be prepared for nothing before the baby and celebrate the baby after he is here with friends and family coming over to see him. Just a little hurt but I also understand people's view of the situation too and why they aren't even thinking of doing anything.

MrsSinner402

DaniGrace89 said:

I think this is a case of people not knowing what to do. If you want to have a baby shower, I am sure that your family and friends would love to celebrate with you!!!

Maybe you can host your own! Like a barbecue or something?

Noooooo.

MuffinMom14

stvetter said:

Thanks for your comments everyone.  I guess it didn't really bother me until my husband said something....which meant that someone else thought it was kinda weird I hadn't had a shower yet.  I don't want to throw something for myself because I think that's someone else's responcibility to take that step.  I know showers/sprinkles are alot of work and if no one on my end wants to put something together then I guess I will just be prepared for nothing before the baby and celebrate the baby after he is here with friends and family coming over to see him. Just a little hurt but I also understand people's view of the situation too and why they aren't even thinking of doing anything.

Well, guys just don't understand.

I think it's just likely they aren't thinking of doing anything because you're already a mother. This is kind of your 4th! So. It's probably not crossing their minds, but once the baby's here, they will show their happiness and support. And if they don't, fuck 'em.

You're going to have YEARS of celebrations with this kid!

MrMrsandBaby

Nicb13 said:

stvetter said:

Thanks for your comments everyone.  I guess it didn't really bother me until my husband said something....which meant that someone else thought it was kinda weird I hadn't had a shower yet.  I don't want to throw something for myself because I think that's someone else's responcibility to take that step.  I know showers/sprinkles are alot of work and if no one on my end wants to put something together then I guess I will just be prepared for nothing before the baby and celebrate the baby after he is here with friends and family coming over to see him. Just a little hurt but I also understand people's view of the situation too and why they aren't even thinking of doing anything.

No no no no no no no.

First off, you are right...don't throw your own shower that's tacky. Secondly...a baby shower is not a guaranteed thing that you get just because you're pregnant or your situation is slightly different. Lastly, NO ONE is responsible to do anything for you just because you are pregnant.

Thank you!  I was ok with everything until this part!  I hope that was poor wording on OP's part because otherwise...no.

stvetter

Nicb13 said:

I would say I'm sorry that you are hurt, but this line right here gets to me:

 "I'm hurt that no one has offered a diaper shower or gift cards or just to get together for dinner and celebrate the baby before he comes".

So you are basically hurt that no one is getting you anything with monetary value that will help with YOUR baby. I totally understand wanting people to be excited about your pregnancy and the baby that is coming but to be upset because no one is going to throw you a party solely to receive gifts is sort of...babyish?

I said that line because I'm saying I don't expect a BABY SHOWER like I had for the first one (the one where I register and people bring items for your newborn baby so you are prepared when they are born).  I don't expect that kind of shower.  I know that people are sitting there saying to themselves, she had a BABY SHOWER so she doesn't need anything for this baby eventhough that's not true becuase people bought me infant items for my first and my husband thought he was done having kids so they got rid of all their newborn items.  I am saying that line because if I was on the other side and I had a friends that was on her second marriage with her first pregnancy I would want to do SOMETHING for her...especially knowing everything she went through to get to this point.  Like give her a BABY SPRINKLE which, from what I read is people brining something LITTLE like diapers, or gift cards or kids books or whatever.  I also said above just for my girlfriends to have some dinner get together.  No, its not expected and no I'm not looking for things to help me with my baby but I'm saying I am very surprised that no one is doing anything for this baby.  I am saying even if they didn't want to do a BABY SHOWER I am very surprised no one has offered a  BABY SPRINKLE or just a DINNER to celebrate.  I'm sorry if you think I am looking for gifts but to me I just thought that this baby was pretty exciting since its my first one in this marriage, its my first newborn and it was a baby we went through hell to get.   I know I can't control what others do or what they think but I am still a little hurt that no one has even offered to do anything.

And yes, we did go through two IVFs before the reversal.  They basically can suck out live sperm from the testicle tubes even if a man has had a vasectomy.  We tried that first because we thought it would work the first time and then my husband wouldn't even have to consider a reversal.  Unfortunately, two rounds later and $20K in debt we decided to leave it up to God and go for the reversal and whatever happened happened.  We even were told, 2 months before I got pregnant, that the reversal was not a complete success because his sperm count was very low.  Miracles happen every day though and we were VERY lucky.

stvetter

MrMrsandBaby said:

Nicb13 said:

stvetter said:

Thanks for your comments everyone.  I guess it didn't really bother me until my husband said something....which meant that someone else thought it was kinda weird I hadn't had a shower yet.  I don't want to throw something for myself because I think that's someone else's responcibility to take that step.  I know showers/sprinkles are alot of work and if no one on my end wants to put something together then I guess I will just be prepared for nothing before the baby and celebrate the baby after he is here with friends and family coming over to see him. Just a little hurt but I also understand people's view of the situation too and why they aren't even thinking of doing anything.

No no no no no no no.

First off, you are right...don't throw your own shower that's tacky. Secondly...a baby shower is not a guaranteed thing that you get just because you're pregnant or your situation is slightly different. Lastly, NO ONE is responsible to do anything for you just because you are pregnant.

Thank you!  I was ok with everything until this part!  I hope that was poor wording on OP's part because otherwise...no.

Poor wording....."initiate".

MsMacual

I'd be hurt in this situation, too.  I'm not a huge shower person, but being pregnant and welcoming a NB is very different than adopting a much older baby, IMO.  Additionally, it's about making you feel special and loved.  I agree with @DaniGrace89.  It sounds like the women who are close to you don't know what to do or are assuming that someone else is throwing you one. 

I'd consider throwing a sip and see party for after LO arrives.  In that case, I'd probably include "no gifts" on the invite so it is clear that you want to celebrate your new arrival and aren't looking for gifts.  I'm sure some people will get you something anyway, but at least your party will stay a celebration and not appear to be a shower. 

krysngreg

I have had a baby shower with both of my children ..... My husband threw a beer and BBQ HUGE bash at OUR house and my sister hosted it. She is busy and I did most of the planning an shopping for our party. I think to each is it's own. Have your husband throw you a dinner party. You deserve to feel like your special time is celebrated no matter how many times you conceive. hey but this is just my opinion. I'm sorry it has you down. But try to perk up I have read negative feelings can run off on the baby and can affect there personality and who they become.

MrsSinner402

krysgreg said:

I have had a baby shower with both of my children ..... My husband threw a beer and BBQ HUGE bash at OUR house and my sister hosted it. She is busy and I did most of the planning an shopping for our party. I think to each is it's own. Have your husband throw you a dinner party. You deserve to feel like your special time is celebrated no matter how many times you conceive. hey but this is just my opinion. I'm sorry it has you down. But try to perk up I have read negative feelings can run off on the baby and can affect there personality and who they become.

#-o

golfingdarwinfish

krysgreg said:

I have had a baby shower with both of my children ..... My husband threw a beer and BBQ HUGE bash at OUR house and my sister hosted it. She is busy and I did most of the planning an shopping for our party. I think to each is it's own. Have your husband throw you a dinner party. You deserve to feel like your special time is celebrated no matter how many times you conceive. hey but this is just my opinion. I'm sorry it has you down. But try to perk up I have read negative feelings can run off on the baby and can affect there personality and who they become.

Ohhh, I wish this surprised me, but it doesn't.

krysngreg

Research the cause of stress and negative feelings in google. Aren't y'all the ones who made fun of someone for " finally learning to use google"

MuffinMom14

krysgreg said:

I have had a baby shower with both of my children ..... My husband threw a beer and BBQ HUGE bash at OUR house and my sister hosted it. She is busy and I did most of the planning an shopping for our party. I think to each is it's own. Have your husband throw you a dinner party. You deserve to feel like your special time is celebrated no matter how many times you conceive. hey but this is just my opinion. I'm sorry it has you down. But try to perk up I have read negative feelings can run off on the baby and can affect there personality and who they become.

OP, you should definitely listen to the quoted poster above, it's not like there is a lot of controversy flying around in 4 other threads about her right now or anything.

golfingdarwinfish

stvetter said:

Nicb13 said:

I would say I'm sorry that you are hurt, but this line right here gets to me:

 "I'm hurt that no one has offered a diaper shower or gift cards or just to get together for dinner and celebrate the baby before he comes".

So you are basically hurt that no one is getting you anything with monetary value that will help with YOUR baby. I totally understand wanting people to be excited about your pregnancy and the baby that is coming but to be upset because no one is going to throw you a party solely to receive gifts is sort of...babyish?

I said that line because I'm saying I don't expect a BABY SHOWER like I had for the first one (the one where I register and people bring items for your newborn baby so you are prepared when they are born).  I don't expect that kind of shower.  I know that people are sitting there saying to themselves, she had a BABY SHOWER so she doesn't need anything for this baby eventhough that's not true becuase people bought me infant items for my first and my husband thought he was done having kids so they got rid of all their newborn items.  I am saying that line because if I was on the other side and I had a friends that was on her second marriage with her first pregnancy I would want to do SOMETHING for her...especially knowing everything she went through to get to this point.  Like give her a BABY SPRINKLE which, from what I read is people brining something LITTLE like diapers, or gift cards or kids books or whatever.  I also said above just for my girlfriends to have some dinner get together.  No, its not expected and no I'm not looking for things to help me with my baby but I'm saying I am very surprised that no one is doing anything for this baby.  I am saying even if they didn't want to do a BABY SHOWER I am very surprised no one has offered a  BABY SPRINKLE or just a DINNER to celebrate.  I'm sorry if you think I am looking for gifts but to me I just thought that this baby was pretty exciting since its my first one in this marriage, its my first newborn and it was a baby we went through hell to get.   I know I can't control what others do or what they think but I am still a little hurt that no one has even offered to do anything.

And yes, we did go through two IVFs before the reversal.  They basically can suck out live sperm from the testicle tubes even if a man has had a vasectomy.  We tried that first because we thought it would work the first time and then my husband wouldn't even have to consider a reversal.  Unfortunately, two rounds later and $20K in debt we decided to leave it up to God and go for the reversal and whatever happened happened.  We even were told, 2 months before I got pregnant, that the reversal was not a complete success because his sperm count was very low.  Miracles happen every day though and we were VERY lucky.


You can be as SURPRISED as YOU want, but no one has to do ANYTHING for YOUR baby. It's not their RESPONSIBILITY, and you shouldn't have had an expectation since you already have children.

Also, your use of caps in your post is extremely obnoxious. We can all read, and while you want to emphasise specific words, given the topic it's just coming off bratty.

krysngreg

Any form of prenatal stress felt by the mother can have negative effects on various aspects of fetal development, which can cause harm to the mother and child. Antenatal depression is often caused by the stress and worry that pregnancy can bring, only at a more severe level. Other factors that can put a person at risk for antenatal depression is an unplanned pregnancy, difficulty becoming pregnant, history of abuse, and economic or family situations.

ADH0906

krysgreg said:

I have had a baby shower with both of my children ..... My husband threw a beer and BBQ HUGE bash at OUR house and my sister hosted it. She is busy and I did most of the planning an shopping for our party. I think to each is it's own. Have your husband throw you a dinner party. You deserve to feel like your special time is celebrated no matter how many times you conceive. hey but this is just my opinion. I'm sorry it has you down. But try to perk up I have read negative feelings can run off on the baby and can affect there personality and who they become.

Oh @krysgreg‌, you are the gift that keeps on giving. OP, do not do any of the above. Also, negative feelings will not "run off" on the baby. I understand that you're hurt and you feel like your situation is unique, but unfortunately it's really not. You were welcomed into motherhood and showered with gifts already, and I'm sure those around you are very happy for you and your husband. It does not mean they have to throw you a party or give you any sort of gifts. Have a dinner party after the baby's born and it'll be the center of attention, I promise.

golfingdarwinfish

krysgreg said:

Any form of prenatal stress felt by the mother can have negative effects on various aspects of fetal development, which can cause harm to the mother and child. Antenatal depression is often caused by the stress and worry that pregnancy can bring, only at a more severe level. Other factors that can put a person at risk for antenatal depression is an unplanned pregnancy, difficulty becoming pregnant, history of abuse, and economic or family situations.

Oh FFS.

Where is the please stop posting gif?

krysngreg

https://www.psychiatry.emory.edu/PROGRAMS/GADrug/Feature Articles/Mothers/The effects of maternal stress and anxiety during pregnancy (mot07).pdf

MuffinMom14

Hey now, @golfingdarwinfish. I've been known to abuse the caps button.

Also, I feel like maybe we can kill two birds with one stone here. If the OP befriends kray, then they can be friends and PM each other, freeing our board from the grammatical errors and typos.

stvetter

Nicb13 said:

stvetter said:

Nicb13 said:

I would say I'm sorry that you are hurt, but this line right here gets to me:

 "I'm hurt that no one has offered a diaper shower or gift cards or just to get together for dinner and celebrate the baby before he comes".

So you are basically hurt that no one is getting you anything with monetary value that will help with YOUR baby. I totally understand wanting people to be excited about your pregnancy and the baby that is coming but to be upset because no one is going to throw you a party solely to receive gifts is sort of...babyish?

I said that line because I'm saying I don't expect a BABY SHOWER like I had for the first one (the one where I register and people bring items for your newborn baby so you are prepared when they are born).  I don't expect that kind of shower.  I know that people are sitting there saying to themselves, she had a BABY SHOWER so she doesn't need anything for this baby eventhough that's not true becuase people bought me infant items for my first and my husband thought he was done having kids so they got rid of all their newborn items.  I am saying that line because if I was on the other side and I had a friends that was on her second marriage with her first pregnancy I would want to do SOMETHING for her...especially knowing everything she went through to get to this point.  Like give her a BABY SPRINKLE which, from what I read is people brining something LITTLE like diapers, or gift cards or kids books or whatever.  I also said above just for my girlfriends to have some dinner get together.  No, its not expected and no I'm not looking for things to help me with my baby but I'm saying I am very surprised that no one is doing anything for this baby.  I am saying even if they didn't want to do a BABY SHOWER I am very surprised no one has offered a  BABY SPRINKLE or just a DINNER to celebrate.  I'm sorry if you think I am looking for gifts but to me I just thought that this baby was pretty exciting since its my first one in this marriage, its my first newborn and it was a baby we went through hell to get.   I know I can't control what others do or what they think but I am still a little hurt that no one has even offered to do anything.

People might not necessarily be thinking that. They might be thinking "hmm, a baby shower is a welcome to motherhood, and she is already a mother, so no need for a shower". That's usually how it goes.

I know you are hurt but you really just have to get over it. I'm sure it's nothing personal. You are responsible for providing for this baby.

ETA: also, you shouldn't be SURPRISED that no one is throwing you a shower; you should be surprised if you DID get one. It's the other way around because the norm is to not have one.  

I guess we will have to agree to disagree.  I'm just kinda hurt and surprised....not mad or gift grabby, just hurt and surprised.  Will the baby still come?  Yes.  Will everyone be excited? Yes.  Will I be mad and hold grudges because there is really no right protocol in this situation? No.  Life will go on and everything will be fine but I am still kinda hurt and surprised not one of my longtime friends or family members have even mentioned doing anything for this baby.  I guess that is just my opinion and I was seeing if anyone else would share my feelings if it happened to them but I guess asking the question I got my answer.  There is nothing that can be done in a tackful way so I will just sit in silence and be a little hurt and a little surprised and move on and look forward to what is really important....and that the baby

MrMrsandBaby

Ok, I just have to ask, OP you mention that you are surprised no one has thrown you a sprinkle, etc...and one of the things is a dinner with friends.

WHY does it seem like everyone who posts about not getting a shower always throws out the dinner party thing?  Does it not occur to you that you can actually host your own dinner party?  And, even better, because no one who posts is ever "in it for the gifts" and just wants a little GTG before baby is born, you don't even actually have to mention the baby on the invitation!  If you don't care about gifts then don't even bother with putting "no gifts" on the invite.  You don't mention baby - people won't bring gifts.

Call your friends, send an e-vite, whatever, have a dinner party.

golfingdarwinfish

SPurp13 said:

Hey now, @golfingdarwinfish. I've been known to abuse the caps button.

Also, I feel like maybe we can kill two birds with one stone here. If the OP befriends kray, then they can be friends and PM each other, freeing our board from the grammatical errors and typos.

@SPurp13‌
Completely different context and use of the caps button.

krysngreg

We have a huge group of friends and no one thought it was tacky. The whole family was invited, the kids swam in the pool and we out up a slip m slide. We also had BBQ catered from our town favorite BBQ place and we had cake and candy bags for the children. It was more of a celebration for our baby. She will one day see the pictures and to me it was important since my first one had them

stvetter

MrMrsandBaby said:

Ok, I just have to ask, OP you mention that you are surprised no one has thrown you a sprinkle, etc...and one of the things is a dinner with friends.

WHY does it seem like everyone who posts about not getting a shower always throws out the dinner party thing?  Does it not occur to you that you can actually host your own dinner party?  And, even better, because no one who posts is ever "in it for the gifts" and just wants a little GTG before baby is born, you don't even actually have to mention the baby on the invitation!  If you don't care about gifts then don't even bother with putting "no gifts" on the invite.  You don't mention baby - people won't bring gifts.

Call your friends, send an e-vite, whatever, have a dinner party.

Ok, I guess I'm surprised that my friends have not called me up and said lets get together for dinner or to gossip or talk about the baby or pregnancy before the baby gets here.  I haven't gotten that either.  I guess to me a shower or sprinkle means bring a gift so maybe I should stop using the word shower or sprinkle because I am coming off as though I am gift grabby.

krysngreg

My seven year old was excited. She asks all the time about things and how they went down she loved To see her pictures ..... I guess your an expert on children now just like you are on sarcasm

MrsSinner402

krysgreg said:

Any form of prenatal stress felt by the mother can have negative effects on various aspects of fetal development, which can cause harm to the mother and child. Antenatal depression is often caused by the stress and worry that pregnancy can bring, only at a more severe level. Other factors that can put a person at risk for antenatal depression is an unplanned pregnancy, difficulty becoming pregnant, history of abuse, and economic or family situations.

Definitely copied and pasted, since this clearly isn't your grammar skillz.

MrMrsandBaby

stvetter said:

MrMrsandBaby said:

Ok, I just have to ask, OP you mention that you are surprised no one has thrown you a sprinkle, etc...and one of the things is a dinner with friends.

WHY does it seem like everyone who posts about not getting a shower always throws out the dinner party thing?  Does it not occur to you that you can actually host your own dinner party?  And, even better, because no one who posts is ever "in it for the gifts" and just wants a little GTG before baby is born, you don't even actually have to mention the baby on the invitation!  If you don't care about gifts then don't even bother with putting "no gifts" on the invite.  You don't mention baby - people won't bring gifts.

Call your friends, send an e-vite, whatever, have a dinner party.

Ok, I guess I'm surprised that my friends have not called me up and said lets get together for dinner or to gossip or talk about the baby or pregnancy before the baby gets here.  I haven't gotten that either.  I guess to me a shower or sprinkle means bring a gift so maybe I should stop using the word shower or sprinkle because I am coming off as though I am gift grabby.

My friends are busy, and mostly suck at making plans in general so call them up and do it.  Also, just my experience - most of the time they don't want to talk about the baby/pregnancy so that may be why no one has called you on this.  Just call them and invite them all over.

krysngreg

Yea copied and pasted. But the point is valid .... Now isn't it

MuffinMom14

golfingdarwinfish said:

Hey now, @golfingdarwinfish. I've been known to abuse the caps button.

Also, I feel like maybe we can kill two birds with one stone here. If the OP befriends kray, then they can be friends and PM each other, freeing our board from the grammatical errors and typos.

@SPurp13‌ Completely different context and use of the caps button.

THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ME.

Jennifer18131

krysgreg said:

Yea copied and pasted. But the point is valid .... Now isn't it

MrsSinner402

krysgreg said:

Yea copied and pasted. But the point is valid .... Now isn't it

...No. doesn't make your point any more valid.

ADH0906

The idea that people will call you up and propose a dinner to talk about YOUR pregnancy is so odd to me. I hate meals with a defined topic (though we tend to call them lunch conference calls, but whatevs). Go have dinner with your friends. They will probably ask you about the baby. It's really not that hard.

BreandMikewedding

krysgreg said:

We have a huge group of friends and no one thought it was tacky. The whole family was invited, the kids swam in the pool and we out up a slip m slide. We also had BBQ catered from our town favorite BBQ place and we had cake and candy bags for the children. It was more of a celebration for our baby. She will one day see the pictures and to me it was important since my first one had them

Your friends didn't think it was tacky because it is probably the least tacky thing you have ever done.

Op, I'm sorry bsc has entered your thread and tainted it. I do understand how you feel. I'm having my third and am kind of sad this one isn't being celebrated as much as my first two. It's not common to have more than one shower so I think that's why people don't think of throwing one for you. I give your husband this =D> because the procedures he went thru are very painful! Many men wouldn't do it so congrats to both of you!

krysngreg

My friends didn't think it was tacky because we fed them and bought the beer ..... Good ole redneck FUN

stvetter

theresat858 said:

Why would anyone offer you a shower? You have 3 kids...I don't see that as having a need to be welcomed into motherhood.  As for buying newborn stuff, that's your responsibility as the parents.

  To me its not welcoming someone into motherhood but celebrating the baby that is coming.  But maybe more people think of it like you as welcoming into motherhood which is why no one has asked to do anything for me.