July 2013 Moms

Need your help - Update

saphiressaphires member
edited August 2014 in July 2013 Moms
I am touring a center on my lunch break. Our neighbors go to this place and absolutely love it. They have an immediate opening for my little man and I am so excited. The biggest weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It is a bit more then what we are paying now but he is the most important little person in my life and I obviously want him to have the best possible care. You can't put a price on that. 

I have no doubts that this is the right move. I think this place will be fantastic for him, he will have all children in his age group which he doesn't have where he is at now. 

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I need your help determining if I am just being a sensitive Susan or if this would bother you also.

I have been pretty laid back with my daycare lady from the start. She takes good care of my kid, there are some things that have bothered me in the past but I try to look past them but I just can't seem to get this off my mind and she keeps fueling it. 


Background, the last few weeks she seems just annoyed with my child. He 'was' the youngest of the group up until this week. She makes comments when I pick him up.. UGH he's just getting into everything or UGH he threw a lot of tantrums today. I get it, she should tell me these things but it is her tone that really upsets me. She makes me feel like I am doing something wrong and my child should not be acting like this. Monday when I dropped him off I asked her something along the lines of this is normal 13 month behavior and she said I have never had a one year old act like him. You guys, he gets into everything, he gets upset when you take things away, he is very persistent he keeps going back to things no matter how many times you tell him he cannot, I THOUGHT this was all normal toddler behavior?? Am I wrong? 

She just had two new INFANTS start one is about 3 months old and the other is 5 months old. IMO I think she took on way more than she can handle but whatever not my call. But, I feel like my kid is just getting the shaft now and that he annoys her. Today when I picked him up he was laying on the floor kind of whining, I'm sure she took something away from him or something and she goes UGH this is how he has been ALL day. I don't have time to deal with it with two babies here so I have just been letting him go/ignoring it.


I don't know.. I am all over the place with this. Really bothering me. Am I overreacting????? Would this annoy you? Should I start a daycare search?? 



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Re: Need your help - Update

  • She has 4 children of her own under the age of 10 so she has definitely dealt with the toddler stage. The second youngest child in her care is 2.5 years old and he has been there since he was 3 months old. She has been doing daycare for 8 years she has plenty of experience.

    She is at max capacity right now because school has not started back up and 4 kids will be in school so things will calm down but she has been acting this way about him for at least a month now. I understand her frustrations this is a difficult age however I don't think his behavior is abnormal and I just don't like the way she makes me feel about it. 



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  • It would bother me. Maybe look elsewhere?


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  • You're not being overly sensitive. This is normal toddler behavior. It's okay to feel overwhelmed when caring for children all day but she sounds unprofessional at best.

    I know DCPs are hard to find, but I'd start looking elsewhere.

    And >:D<

    I'm sorry she made you question yourself.


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  • It would bother me! Sounds like normal toddler behavior. If it's not, then my kids not normal either!
  • I would go elsewhere. I can see her being frustrated with the behavior, but the way she is relaying it to you is unprofessional.

    I worked in daycare teaching and management for years before I had E. I've had two year olds throw chairs at me and nine year olds bite and kick me. I still never said "ugh" to their parents.
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  • I think if you're uncomfortable then it's time to look. If YOU feel like she took on too much it is your business because that's where you leave your child for however many hours per day and you expect him to be well cared for.

    I would be upset especially with the tone and the comment about not having time to deal with him.

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  • She says ugh? Time to move on.

    This.

    A 3 month old and a 5 month old is a full time job by itself. All the things he's doing sounds completely normal for his age. I'd find someone else.
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • Others have covered it well, but I just wanted to wish you luck in whatever you decide. You and your LO don't deserve to be treated/spoken to that way!
    Mom to three girls and pregnant with #4!
    L: 7/12/13
    C: 5/11/15
    E: 3/7/17
    Due 11/10/18

  • Pink724 said:
    Others have covered it well, but I just wanted to wish you luck in whatever you decide. You and your LO don't deserve to be treated/spoken to that way!
    All of this! It would really bother me if my DC talked about LO that way. 


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  • I would be looking for a new daycare. That all sounds like normal behaviors for a 13 month old. Kids require a lot of attention at this age and it doesn't sound like she wants to provide that attention and direction.
  • Did she really say, "I don't have time to deal with this with two new babies"?

    if she did..OH HELL NO that's not ok.

    I'd be looking for new childcare and I'd give her a chunk of my mind.

     

    Baby girl #1 7/11/13

    Baby girl #2 4/30/15

    Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!




     

  • I will say that we need about 10 hours of childcare daily, because I do drop off and pick up. A DC center is our best option, because their hours accommodate my work schedule. Good luck finding a provider!
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    Baby boy 7.10.13
  • KMRR86 said:
    Is this an in-home daycare? This sounds like normal toddler behaviour. I wonder if she's just overwhelmed. My lo goes to an in home daycare, but per the regulations she can have 7 kids but only 2 under the age of two. Honestly, it isn't going to get much better for her as the other infants get older and get into things. You are not being sensitive, she needs to adjust her attitude.
    This.  Here, even in-home daycare providers are limited to two children under the age of two, and three children under the age of three (per adult available).  It sounds like your provider has taken on too much, and it's making her respond in inappropriate ways.  I'd definitely look into other options.

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  • Exactly what @Erinm278‌ said, OH HELL NO. I'm glad to see your update that you're going to look for a new daycare. That's your baby, your heart pounding outside of your chest right there. He deserves the absolute best, not to be ignored or slighted. Keep us posted on the center, hopefully that will be a great fit for you guys.

  • Erinm278 said:
    Did she really say, "I don't have time to deal with this with two new babies"? if she did..OH HELL NO that's not ok. I'd be looking for new childcare and I'd give her a chunk of my mind.
    She did. :( Maybe not the exact words but of course the message was the same. Looking back I wish I would have said more... I guess I was kind of in shock. I should know its time for a new provider since the last couple weeks of going there to pick up all I think about on my way is that I hope he had a good day and that she isnt complaining about him.



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  • missymr said:

      It is all normal behaviour for a one-year-old. It sounds to me like she bit off more than she can chew by taking on two new infants while having so many older kids in the home. The regulations here limit home daycares to no more than two children under 2, and no more than five under age 10.

    If she has taken on new children and your child is getting less than the required supervision I would be concerned. I can see her being frustrated at the end of the day but the fact he was just lying on the floor and she said she basically was just leaving him to whine, would concern me.

    I think it's time to have a heart to heart with her about your concerns and if she can't address them to your satisfaction, sadly, you will need to look elsewhere.

    She can have 3 under 2 because she applied for a variance and had DC parents sign it and it was approved by the state. She has so many in the preschool age that she is allowed the additional but only because she applied. I wouldn't have signed it then if I knew this was how tthings woild would be



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  • FX the center still has an opening!! If not there are other options but this one is the closest to our home.



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  • As others said the tone would concern me. Good luck!
  • I agree with all the others. Also, while I sometimes wished as babies that my LOs were in a comfy cozy in-home place or with a nanny, once my LO was in the toddler room, I really liked having him in a daycare center. They do great crafts and have a more organized curriculum than I think would be possible at most mixed-age in-home centers. And they become socialized so much spending time with others around their same age.
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  • Thank you so much for all your experiences, insights, thoughts etc. I have been having a really hard time with this and seriously it means so much to me. :x



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  • emmanemmemmanemm member
    edited August 2014
    This would bother me and I'd honestly be looking to put him elsewhere. I think it's normal behaviour, M acts the same way. I completely agree with @erinm278. Hugs, this must be a really rough situation to be in. I'm thinking of you!

    I would hate for her to be getting frustrated and taking out that frustration on him, when he's just being a normal 1 yr. old. Like @asbromle said, he deserves better.

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  • Just seeing this thread but I hope this new center works out for you. She just sounds like she's taken on too much and is being negligent to your child's emotional needs more than anything. I think your son acts perfectly normal and I think he needs more attention. Maybe with more attention from her, he wouldn't be so upset by small things, wonder if she's ever considered that?

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  • Yay! It sounds like the center is going to be a much better option for you guys!
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  • Let us know how the current sitter takes the news ;)
  • @haddocky  I will... something tells me she isn't going to care much....  :(



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  • A: She should have an environment set up where your LO can explore and she doesn't have to constantly take things away. That is how they learn! This is how she will keep her sanity while caring for two infants. Our state has very strict guidelines, even for the in home centers, on what they need to have/not have. 

    B: She sounds completely unprofessional. Your one year old is being a one year old. I would get out, and fast. Start shopping. She should care for ALL her kids in her care equally. 
  • Mommy instincts are usually right! I'm glad you found new daycare!
  • Glad you found something. I hope you are able to communicate to her exactly why you are leaving so that she knows that her behavior is unprofessional.
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • I'm sorry you are having such a rough time with the dcp. I hope you liked the place you toured. I would never ever trade my dcp for the world. She treats my children as her own, and has done so from the moment I met her. When you have the right person, you just know. I hope you can find that too. Good luck!
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