Intro and Baby vs. Puppy

lilsinginmama

Hello all!

I've been lurking around this board for a couple of months and figured since we have yet to get a BFP yet, I should introduce myself.

I am 23 and my hubby is 25.  We have a beautiful 14 month old DD.  We have been TTC since March.

Last time around we were lucky enough to get pregnant without charting/temping.  We were hoping to be that lucky this time around, but we are thinking it might be time to start.  We use PeriodTracker and "chart" that way. (nothing official, we just kind of fake it)  I am on CD14.  Fingers crossed this is our month! --I don't want to try next month or we would have two June babies.

For all of you animal lovers, have you noticed you wanted a dog/cat/etc. when you haven't gotten pregnant in your ideal time? Just curious.  

We now have a 14 month old and a puppy!  I guess there is no point to this post.  Just excited to share.  Thanks for having me! 

architori

Welcome! We got our first dog shortly after we got married. We were not TTC, but I think I still wanted something to take care of, and satisfied my maternal instinct that way. Also I wasn't working yet and got lonely home alone all day.

ToryKate

I am not directing this specifically at the OP, but I am an up tight ass hole about animals so I would like to say:

Do not get an animal unless you can commit to them for their lifetime. Not just until you bring home baby #2. If you do get pregnant this cycle you will have a 1 year old puppy with a new baby and a toddler. That sounds like a lot of stress and poop. And the first one to suffer will be the dog, through no fault of his own. 

I know not everyone neglects their pets when babies come, but it is more common than most people think. Anyone who has worked with rescues has probably seen the same story all too often: "We just cant take care of the dog/cat now that we have a baby". 

architori

ToryKate said:

I am not directing this specifically at the OP, but I am an up tight ass hole about animals so I would like to say:

Do not get an animal unless you can commit to them for their lifetime. Not just until you bring home baby #2. If you do get pregnant this cycle you will have a 1 year old puppy with a new baby and a toddler. That sounds like a lot of stress and poop. And the first one to suffer will be the dog, through no fault of his own. 

I know not everyone neglects their pets when babies come, but it is more common than most people think. Anyone who has worked with rescues has probably seen the same story all too often: "We just cant take care of the dog/cat now that we have a baby". 

This makes me so angry. Also when people say they really love their dog/cat/pets, but are moving into a place that doesn't allow them. If you really loved them, you would find a place to live that has no problems with pets.

I plan on doing everything I possibly can to prepare our 4-legged children when we get a BFP and bring home the newest member of our pack.

lilsinginmama

I am uptight about neglecting pets as well! I agree most people don't realize what it takes to have a dog, they just want something to fill in the void until baby comes along. We've been wanting a dog since we got married.  Just finally took the plunge!

dmsmth

welcome

@torykate I hear you on that one.  Well, my dog is just not getting the care he needs, I can't care for the dog anymore because of the baby, the dog is jealous of the baby, the dog bit the baby (because you as the parent were not supervising and let your kid pull the dogs tail),

While I don't have the time to take my dog to obedience classes anymore, he would still rather be with me when I am busy and ride out the rough years than leave me completely.    I now catch him sleeping on my 5yo's bed! 

abigailwaslike

Welcome and goodluck!(:

We have one service dog and we love him unconditionally! Thankfully he can stay with me wherever we move, but if that wasn't the case I still couldn't bring myself to ever part from him!<3

I do however want a rag doll cat, I believe that's what they are called? But that will take some convincing to the DH, he doesn't like litter boxes and he's had bad experiences with them!

sister13

Re: Baby vs. Puppy - do NOT make your baby fight your puppy! 

Oh, is that not what this is about? 

divinemsbee

We did get our second dog while we were TTC. I'll admit that at that point we had reached cycle 6 and it was really disheartening, so when she came up for adoption and was close to us we went for it. I can't say that had I gotten pregnant sooner we would have ended up with her because we probably wouldn't have been looking for another pet at that moment.

That being said, she's a great dog. We adopted her as an older dog (she was 8 when we got her, 9 now) and she's of a super docile breed and sweet temperament. And she's with us for the long haul. I've thought in a dreamy way about getting another, but I realistically know that we don't have the space and since we'll be moving next year adding another dog would probably make it even harder to find a place to live.

jezebk

Welcome!  I find myself wanting a dog or cat whenever I see a helpless animal in need.  I can't help it and it usually takes a time-out on my part for me to realize that I really cannot handle another pet in the house that we have now.  They are so hard to resist sometimes though!

TRP85

Welcome.
like @architori I got my puppy shortly after we were married. My DH works from home and was able to give him the time he needed for all the awkward puppy stuff (he chewed through far too may slippers, couch cushions etc). Having the puppy has def satisfied some of my maternal instinct and I simply cannot imagine making the choice to give him up once we have a LO. He is as much a part of the family as DH and I.

delujm0

I have a friend that got rid of two separate puppies because they "were destroying the apartment" but that just happened to coincide with her getting pregnant each time.  I have known her for almost 20 years, and that made me lose a lot of respect for her.  Finally, after having her third kid, they just adopted an older dog who is working out really well.  thank god.

 

Even worse, my boss put one of her cats down because "he was peeing everywhere and i can't take it anymore" even though there was nothing medically wrong with him...and he started doing that after she got a puppy that he clearly wasn't interested in living with.  Instead of finding a solution, she put down a cat she had for over 14 years.  That also made me ragey.

 

i get that once you have kids your pets become less important, but come on.  unless your pet becomes physically violent toward your kid on a regular basis, i don't see why you can't work something out.

BillyHorrible

We purposely planned to have a dog for several years before baby.  No way could I juggle two new home invaders.  I wanted the dog to be firmly ensconced in the household before bringing home a baby.  But I'm the same way with kids.  We didn't rush to a second because I wanted the first to know his place in the home first.  Dog had to be potty trained and able to follow instructions before kid 1.  Kid 1 has to be potty trained and able to follow instructions before kid 2.

SpartanChick88

All this! I admit that I re homed a new dog once. Unfortunately, to the group it looked like it was because I was pregnant but it was really because he was stressing out our older boy. The timing was just bad and I hated that - he did wind up going to someone who had wanted him in the first place. And our old boy is happily an only pup.

I had to be completely honest before I said that I agree with all that has been said and babies are no reason to displace fur kids - I wish people would see that pets are beneficial to kids for so many reasons not the least of which is the learning of responsibility.

3houlagirl

sister13 said:

Re: Baby vs. Puppy - do NOT make your baby fight your puppy! 

Oh, is that not what this is about? 

I have a t-shirt somewhere that says baby vs. toaster on it. I feel like that fight would be more fair. Unless the toaster is plugged in (it's not on the t-shirt)...

tlc35

bibliothecary said:

I've never wanted a baby and ended up with a puppy. I've wanted a baby and ended up with a bottle of wine, many times.

This is me as well.

ToryKate

MamaZEsquire said:

Every time I try to write a response it turns into a short novel about my furbabies and DS.

Here's the gist: while I would not want a puppy and baby at the same time, if it happened we would deal. It's like having two babies. You just deal with it and adjust. To me, my dogs are family, so they are not negotiable. If one of them was aggressive and not correctable or there was a major problem that we could not accommodate (I mean MAJOR!), my response might be different. But if you put the time in to train your dog to be a member of your household, then typically you reap what you sow. 

I will say this. We had one rescue dog that we planned to keep, but we ended up having to put down. He had some sort of brain damage that made him wake up aggressive, and he would flip out, and be inconsolable for ten minutes or so. This was EVERY TIME he fell asleep. We couldn't pet his back, or pick him up, or take him for a walk, no one could be in the room when he had food, he didn't know how to play, etc. The vet actually recommended putting him to sleep because we tried for MONTHS to make some sort of progress, but to no avail, and the vet said he would probably never come around, that it was a permanent condition, and he had no real life, no enjoyment. It was heartbreaking

Three of our 4 current dogs are also rescues/adopted. They've all been taught the rules of our "pack" and we have a very happy, lively home. I can't even get into the reasons I think it's good for DS that we have dogs. That really would be a novel. But I'll never get over the one we couldn't save. 

That must have been a heartbreaking decision I am so sorry you had to go through that! 

BillyHorrible

MamaZEsquire said:

I will say this. We had one rescue dog that we planned to keep, but we ended up having to put down. He had some sort of brain damage that made him wake up aggressive, and he would flip out, and be inconsolable for ten minutes or so. This was EVERY TIME he fell asleep. We couldn't pet his back, or pick him up, or take him for a walk, no one could be in the room when he had food, he didn't know how to play, etc. The vet actually recommended putting him to sleep because we tried for MONTHS to make some sort of progress, but to no avail, and the vet said he would probably never come around, that it was a permanent condition, and he had no real life, no enjoyment. It was heartbreaking

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  I'm certain that no one would fault you for that situation.  The dog sounds as though he were sick.  You can't work on behavioral issues if they're due to sickness.  As hard as that must have been, I believe you made the right decision, and it was the kindest thing to do.  And anyone who thinks you didn't do enough should kick rocks.

dietrajade13

ToryKate said:

I am not directing this specifically at the OP, but I am an up tight ass hole about animals so I would like to say:

Do not get an animal unless you can commit to them for their lifetime. Not just until you bring home baby #2. If you do get pregnant this cycle you will have a 1 year old puppy with a new baby and a toddler. That sounds like a lot of stress and poop. And the first one to suffer will be the dog, through no fault of his own. 

I know not everyone neglects their pets when babies come, but it is more common than most people think. Anyone who has worked with rescues has probably seen the same story all too often: "We just cant take care of the dog/cat now that we have a baby". 

THIS!!!! I feel the same way.  We wanted another husky (we have a GSP and husky currently) but I realized it just didn't make sense with the possibility of a baby.  It wouldn't be fair to the pup and we already have to get our two other furbabies adjusted.

MamaZEsquire
I'm sorry to hear that .  My MIL's GSD had the same problem and she was so heartbroken over it.  She had saved him from her neighbor who was an animal hoarder.

ginger1228

architori said:

ToryKate said:

I am not directing this specifically at the OP, but I am an up tight ass hole about animals so I would like to say:

Do not get an animal unless you can commit to them for their lifetime. Not just until you bring home baby #2. If you do get pregnant this cycle you will have a 1 year old puppy with a new baby and a toddler. That sounds like a lot of stress and poop. And the first one to suffer will be the dog, through no fault of his own. 

I know not everyone neglects their pets when babies come, but it is more common than most people think. Anyone who has worked with rescues has probably seen the same story all too often: "We just cant take care of the dog/cat now that we have a baby". 

This makes me so angry. Also when people say they really love their dog/cat/pets, but are moving into a place that doesn't allow them. If you really loved them, you would find a place to live that has no problems with pets.

I plan on doing everything I possibly can to prepare our 4-legged children when we get a BFP and bring home the newest member of our pack.

----------- quote fail ------------

We picked out our house based a lot on our dog! We needed a big backyard and lots of space for him.

Welcome OP! Good luck! What kind of dog did you get?

lilsinginmama

 What kind of dog did you get?

We got a Miniature Australian Shepherd.  They are very smart dogs and we are glad that our family has grown again.

GiveMeWine

Buying a house made us want a dog...so now we have a five yr old daughter and five month old puppy..it is like having two kids.The puppy is the well behaved one!

VeganOnTuesdays

I am pretty obsessed with my dog and my husband and I have talked extensively about how to make sure he isn't neglected should there ever be a baby. I'm not foolish enough to think things ever go as planned when you have a baby but I also know myself and know that my dog is just as much a child to me as any human will be. I rescued him because I wanted to give him a forever home not a "when it's convenient for me home". Since ttc I will admit though that I've found myself checking out the puppies on the humane society website a lot more. Hahaha I'm not that self destructive though. We will stick with our one crazy mutt for now.

wineandcake

We had all four of our animals before we had our son. We came into our relationship with our own animals (I had a dog, he had a cat) and over time we added the other two to our family. I can't imagine giving up our animals because we had a baby, they bring so much joy to all of our lives - especially DS who walks around pointing at them yelling kitty all day. We worked with them prior to the baby to prepare them - when feeding the dogs we stick hands in their bowls, can take food out of their mouths, and feed them one piece at a time. Our older cat has anxiety and bladder problems, he has ridiculously expensive food, wears a pheromone collar, and has medication as needed for stress.

I come from a family of animal lovers, I would do anything for my pets. My parents would only buy a home with a main floor master suite because our family dog had arthritis and was blind which prevented him from going up stairs. My mom stayed home to care for the dog full time in his last year.

Now that we are TFAS I have absolutely no desire to adopt more animals. We don't have the time to devote to another and potty training a toddler and puppy at the same time? No thanks.

Jags8

I got dogs because I DIDN'T want a baby. Plus my new house was so empty with DH deployed at the time. So I marched down to the shelter, and took one home (with DH's blessing of course)!

Now 1.5 years, a cat, and two dogs later, I am ready for a human baby

Wine&Cupcakes

ToryKate said:

I am not directing this specifically at the OP, but I am an up tight ass hole about animals so I would like to say:

Do not get an animal unless you can commit to them for their lifetime. Not just until you bring home baby #2. If you do get pregnant this cycle you will have a 1 year old puppy with a new baby and a toddler. That sounds like a lot of stress and poop. And the first one to suffer will be the dog, through no fault of his own. 

I know not everyone neglects their pets when babies come, but it is more common than most people think. Anyone who has worked with rescues has probably seen the same story all too often: "We just cant take care of the dog/cat now that we have a baby". 

@torykate - THIS times a fucking million. A love tit just didn't do that comment justice.

Babies and moving are the two excuses that make me want to stab people. It's not hard: when you adopt and animal, consider the fact that animal-friendly housing is hard to come by and that you might get KTFU someday!

OrbitBaby

BillyHorrible said:

We purposely planned to have a dog for several years before baby.  No way could I juggle two new home invaders.  I wanted the dog to be firmly ensconced in the household before bringing home a baby.  But I'm the same way with kids.  We didn't rush to a second because I wanted the first to know his place in the home first.  Dog had to be potty trained and able to follow instructions before kid 1.  Kid 1 has to be potty trained and able to follow instructions before kid 2.

Nice word choice, I'm thinking it needs to find my way into my vocabulary.  

bfonz619

ToryKate said:

I am not directing this specifically at the OP, but I am an up tight ass hole about animals so I would like to say:

Do not get an animal unless you can commit to them for their lifetime. Not just until you bring home baby #2. If you do get pregnant this cycle you will have a 1 year old puppy with a new baby and a toddler. That sounds like a lot of stress and poop. And the first one to suffer will be the dog, through no fault of his own. 

I know not everyone neglects their pets when babies come, but it is more common than most people think. Anyone who has worked with rescues has probably seen the same story all too often: "We just cant take care of the dog/cat now that we have a baby". 

This.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

OrbitBaby

Our dog will be the older sibling to our (hopeful) future children, as he is 100% part of the family.  I am so excited to see what their bond will be.  I'll just hope that the fur baby doesn't show the future baby how to eat poop, and all will be good.  

Wine&Cupcakes

Excited2SeeAgain said:

Re: This makes me so angry. Also when people say they really love their dog/cat/pets, but are moving into a place that doesn't allow them. If you really loved them, you would find a place to live that has no problems with pets.
I plan on doing everything I possibly can to prepare our 4-legged children when we get a BFP and bring home the newest member of our pack.

In my area pet security is about one months rent. Paying 4x the rent isn't feasible for everyone. I'm not saying don't try and accommodate but not everyone has that. And situations change. Maybe in the past that wasn't a problem but now to pay that money would be an issue. I've wanted to move since forever but it's hard finding pet friendly places that doesn't cost and arm and a leg. Even if you eventually get the money back.

Here's my doggy Gizmo

-----anticipating quote fail-----

This is why people need to actually CONSIDER this BEFORE getting a pet.

I would eat Ramen for years before in would give up my dog. When we moved, there were 3,000 available apartments - when looking for dog friendly that number decreased to 30. We made one of the 30 work.

My dog is family. Plain and simple.

JumpAroundBucky

I always get the doggie heart pulls and stare at petfinder.com for awhile, but never give in. My son is allergic (breaks out in hives), so we already had to rehome my sweet furbaby. Love my kittens, but I definitely miss my dog! 

Anyhow, welcome, and good luck and all that. Especially with your puppy. That sounds like a hell of a handful with a toddler. 

catahoulatte

Nope, never. Puppies are a ridiculous amount of work and are "puppies" until they are 2 (or...if you get a lab, until they're like 7). There is no way I'd want to deal with a puppy and a newborn. Our dogs were 3 and 2.5 when my son was born and that was perfect.

Jags8

@kemcc13 he is half Boxer, half American Pit Bull He is the nicest, snuggliest, gentlest soul I've ever met. I can't believe someone didn't try finding him because he came in as a stray, and was at the shelter for three months.