Refusing to eat a meal

holly321

Both my kids occasionally refuse to eat what I give them for dinner. Dd more so than DS, but lately he has been doing so too. At what age would you not allow a different option? Today, I did warm up leftovers, they both didn't want what I made, and it was easy enough, and it was a long day, ( ie many stores, and sitting in the car for an hour when I took my mom to the doctor.)

Usually, when dd doesn't eat, I will allow her the option of something like a carrot or an apple, because I want her to eat something.  But at the same time, I feel like I am encouraging her to not eat dinner.  I do make her at least try everything, but she often still won't eat.

Any insight or advice?  For those who can't see tickers, she is 3.5.  

mishka29

No, because this was dinner for us too. It's frustrating and normally we will try to add a sauce or add something else but nothing was working tonight. Ugh. It's painful for everyone.

MalRiggs

If its DS I make him try it. If its DD then will offer something else (with in reason). I do make an effort if later in the night to offer food again before bed. If not she wakes up hungry in the middle of the night. (at that point no one is happy)

ericalee27

This is one area where I give a lot of leeway. If I don't like the taste of something, I don't eat it. I feel like DS1 should have the same choice. (DS2 will eat ANYTHING so not even factoring him into this!) I don't mind having other food for DS1 as long as healthy options, etc. I do ask him to give new things a bite or two to try, but if he doesn't like it after that, no problem

SummerLove21

I've been told that toddlers get most of their daily calorie allowance before dinner, so if they refuse dinner, it's not a big deal.

It depends on the night...if we are having three different things (pasta, veggies, chicken, for example), and he won't eat anything, then he just gets his milk for the night. If it's an all-in-one deal (crock pot stew or stir fry), then we'll usually give him a few crackers, pureed veggies and his milk. I don't want him to get in the habit of me making something else entirely.

jesuisfatiguee

I usually offer a couple of things if he refuses. I've found that if he's refusing he's often just not that hungry. Some days he eats a ton, some days hardly anything. Keeps me on my toes, at least.

kleigh926

I'm not sure what I'd do for an older child, but for DD, I offer 2 or 3 things at a meal and that's it. I don't give her an entirely different meal to eat. Usually if she's refusing 2 or 3 different things, she's just not hungry. I don't think that I would ever offer a totally different meal unless I knew she really hated what I made for dinner.... I wouldn't make her eat something she truly didn't like.

mishka29

SummerLove21 said:

I've been told that toddlers get most of their daily calorie allowance before dinner, so if they refuse dinner, it's not a big deal.

It depends on the night...if we are having three different things (pasta, veggies, chicken, for example), and he won't eat anything, then he just gets his milk for the night. If it's an all-in-one deal (crock pot stew or stir fry), then we'll usually give him a few crackers, pureed veggies and his milk. I don't want him to get in the habit of me making something else entirely.

You could have just made this up entirely but I don't care. I'm going to run with this! 

kelly321

In general, if they don't like it, they don't have to eat it. The alternatives I offer are limited, however. Nothing exciting or extra, just like a sandwich  or a banana. Today with DD1, I knew that she would like what we had for lunch but she refused to try it. I said she had to have 3 bites (she's 3.5) before she could have anything else. I would not do that if it were something where I wasn't sure if she would like it. This, though, was just her being stubborn.

Rynleigh

I have four kids plus my childcare kids, so we are very uniform in how meals are done (now that the boys can eat pretty much everything the older kids eat). 

There are usually between two and four different foods at each meal (i.e. a ham sandwich, green beans, and cheese chunks... or crackers, cottage cheese, peach slices, and broccoli.... or casserole and corn... etc) - they can eat as much as they want  from their plate. If they eat everything on their plate and they want more of something, they can have more of it. If they don't eat everything on their plate, they wait until the next meal or snack time with no alternatives or second portions offered. 

I don't force foods and I make the effort to try not to serve things that I know the kids don't really like (i.e., I'll serve tuna once every couple of weeks because all of the kids will eat it, but I typically avoid most other fish/seafood because only the boys like it) - but I also don't want them to think that we are just going to make alternatives just because they want to eat something different. I ask for their input and I will give them the choice between several things I could make (I will ask the older kids, "Do you guys want pasta, soup, or sandwiches?", and I will show the boys broccoli and carrots and let them point one out and that's the one I'll cook) - and I think that's sufficient. They won't starve between lunch and afternoon snack if they decide they don't want to eat what we made. It may be easier for me given the large number of older children in the house, though, because the expectation existed well before the boys were born. 

caladpi02

We have been doing one of two things:

1. If LO has had a lot during the day, we just give 7 oz of milk at bedtime

2. Offer peanut butter on an English muffin if she needs some more actual food. I am trying to avoid making everyone different meals, and honestly, the one thing I know she will eat is Annie's mac n cheese, and that is not suitable for dinner every night.