Doctor won't take me!

chucktgirl

Rant:

You may or may not remember my previous post of how I had such a hard time finding an OB after being released from my RE. I finally found one two weeks ago. We had a consultation that went well. She agreed to take me as a patient and also bring in a MFM specialist to work with. That was last Tuesday, 8/12. After that, I had difficulty in getting my RE to fax my records to her. I have no idea why this was so challenging. I called multiple times on three days that week to get them transferred. Finally, they sent them a week later to my new OB this past Mon 8/18. So I just had to wait for the OB to read my records and call me with an appointment. I let her know that this is urgent for me, as I'm in my 10th week and am ready for blood tests and need an u/s to see if I passed my loss milestone. Obviously that made no difference to her. I called again on Wed. The receptionist said she was just that moment starting to read my records. But no one called me back. So I called yesterday afternoon to see when my appointments have been made. The receptionist said, "Oh yes, I was just speaking with the Dr. now about you... and then there was a loud noise and the phone went dead. I immediately called back and was sent right to voicemail. I left a message. She never called me back yesterday afternoon or this morning. Finally, I called her back this afternoon and asked if everything was okay, since she never called me back. "Oh, yes, everything is fine. The doctor feels you have MULTIPLE PROBLEMS that she is not qualified to deal with and will not be taking me as a patient. She recommends you call a specialist." Are you fucking kidding me? What MULTIPLE PROBLEMS do I have? I'm healthy, just old! I'm treating my FVL with Lovenox, and treating my Hypothyroidism with Synthroid, so what PROBLEM do I present?! I am so upset. Right before I left her office I specifically asked, so you're accepting me as a patient? And she said Yes. That led to a horrible back and forth with the MFM's office. They require all previous records before they will talk to you, and require a referral before you can get an appointment. I asked if the OB had sent her my records. Nope. I said I would call and have them faxed over. The MFM's receptionist said, "Oh no, YOU can't call. That's only for the doctor's offices to do." I said, okay, so are you going to request them from the OB? "No. We don't do the requesting. The OB must send papers with a referral." OMG. I wanted to scream. If I didn't personally place a half dozen calls to doctor's offices weekly, nothing would ever get done! So now I'm in no man's land. I have severe diarrhea, haven't seen my fetus in 2.5 weeks to know if it's alive, and have no idea if my bloodwork is stable. As of now, I am convinced with all of my MULTIPLE PROBLEMS that there is no way for me to make it to term. I can't even get proper care provided! I am borderline crying hysterically and beating the shit out of something. And I'm beyond disgusted with all in the medical field. I am in complete disbelief right now. Are my expectations for appropriate medical care too high? Unbelievable.

Margritli

Oh my goodness! That is just plain horrible. Do you think your RE might be able to help you out if you asked there? Doctors know doctors - maybe the could get you in somewhere. Honestly, I don't even think I would want that Dr. office knowing that they are so incmpetent and unresponsive. I hope you are able to get the appointments you need and soon.

chucktgirl

Thanks, @Margritli. I literally went through a dozen OBs before I found this one. There are only, I think, 6 left that I haven't contacted on the list. I have limited OBs to choose from in my smaller city and health plan. I thought about begging my RE to give me just one more u/s, but she made it clear that when she sent my paperwork that I was discharged. There was no love lost between us. Unfortunately, my RE's clinic is far from where we live, so she has no referrals in my local area/hospital. I am basically screwed.

I am hoping for best case scenario: The OB who just rejected me actually follows through and faxes my paperwork today. The MFM will read them some time between today and Monday, and I will get a call on Monday that they are excited to welcome me as a patient and are squeezing me right in!

I also believe in unicorns.

poohniki

Omg! This is just shitty all around. I really hope the MFM doesn't give you problems and you can get in right away. Maybe you can just pick any OB for the next week or two to just get a scan while you continue your research? I know not seeing the baby for a few weeks is totally nerve wracking.

Mrs.McIrish

I wonder if there's a note in your file like Elaine from Seinfeld since you have such a hard time finding an Ob???(I hope I made you laugh!!)

This is what I would do: if you can't get through via the phone on Monday to make sure the OB's office sent the referral and records to the MFM, I would show up at the OB office so you can talk to someone. You don't need this stress. You need a doctor and can't get an appt with the MFM unless and until the OB who is rejecting you sends you to the MFM. My next question: does this MFM office deliver??? Some don't which is why you need to confirm. I am only seeing a MFM and he does deliver. If you don't think you can handle going to the OBs office alone, being DH and let him handle this. It should NOT be this difficult to get a doctor and you need to keep your BP down!!!

hugs.

pblge

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, chucktgirl. (((hugs))) Do you have a primary care doctor that would be able to submit paperwork for you? Not sure if they can do that or not. It's pretty crappy that this OB promised you she would work with you then reneged after all that back and forth. I'd be looking for someone to complain to.

I hope you get this worked out soon!

Aurora1181

OMG!! What a ridiculous mess. I agree with PP's.. show up in person at the OB's if you don't hear anything. Bring your husband for support. Also, my MFM does not deliver, so like they said, check on that. I cannot believe you are getting the run around like this. Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

KT416

Ugh, that sounds so frustrating! Send hugs your way and you can get an appointment soon!

hopeby2015

How awful! I hope you can get this all resolved with min stress! Like OP said, show up if you have to so you can get things done! Good luck! Sending you lots of t&ps!

WA1215

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hope they call you today, and if not, like others said, show up and ask for your file and a hard copy of your referral they are supposed to send. Maybe the MFM can help you find an OB? Good luck, and keep us updated!

pblge

Come back and update us when you have news on this!

chucktgirl

Mrs.McIrish said:

I wonder if there's a note in your file like Elaine from Seinfeld since you have such a hard time finding an Ob???(I hope I made you laugh!!)

This is what I would do: if you can't get through via the phone on Monday to make sure the OB's office sent the referral and records to the MFM, I would show up at the OB office so you can talk to someone. You don't need this stress. You need a doctor and can't get an appt with the MFM unless and until the OB who is rejecting you sends you to the MFM. My next question: does this MFM office deliver??? Some don't which is why you need to confirm. I am only seeing a MFM and he does deliver. If you don't think you can handle going to the OBs office alone, being DH and let him handle this. It should NOT be this difficult to get a doctor and you need to keep your BP down!!!

hugs.

@Mrs.McIrish, you have no idea how true your joke is! I seriously considered this, and have talked to my DH about paying the fee to have my last REs records sent directly to me to see what the heck she put in there! I have no idea why we haven't learned our lesson already: ALWAYS have the doc send YOU the records, then you can give them to any doc you want for free.

I'm also starting to think that I'm just being too honest and candid with potential doctors. I had an issue once, with my first m/c, where our views differed from my OBs views when it came to religious influence on medical care. We have since switched hospitals and I am now very careful to screen out doctors who I think may put their personal religious views before my personal preferences, and I avoid doctors affiliated solely with religiously based hospitals or care facilities. I truly think that's what put this most recent OB off. We had a frank discussion of what kind of medical care would be provided to me if this turns out to be yet another non-viable or unhealthy pregnancy. She could not provide the medical care I am looking for, and I let her know that turned me off. So, yes, I guess I'm a picky patient, but that's not going to change. I want - and deserve - the best medical care available.

To update, I called the MFM (there is only ONE in my plan, near my city) to see if she has looked at my files yet so I can make my needed appointments. Nope. I was told to give them until Wednesday to read them. Great, so I can be another week behind if she decides not to take me on as a patient?! I explained to her that it's been THREE weeks since I've had an u/s or b/w, and that I'm literally going nuts not knowing if I have a developing fetus or not. I then asked, if she decides to accept me on Wednesday, how long before I can get an appointment. I was told that there are policies and procedures in place and that I will just have to wait until the MFM determines a course of action. I want to scream, and my DH is borderline flipping out.

Super. Everyone else in my BMB is getting their MaterniT21 test drawn and I just get to sit here, hoping there's a healthy fetus inside me.

Sorry, not in a good mood.
Oh, and yes, this MFM DOES deliver - but I wanted to have an OB as well. Oh well.

pblge

Ugh, I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) This really sounds hellish and I was really hoping you'd have better news today. I hope that the MFM gets their act together soon! Could the ER be a back up plan, just for sanity's sake?

Mrs.McIrish

Ugh, it all sounds so strange. I called the MFM's office and told them what made me high risk and they gave me an appt for the next week!!! I brought records with me to the first appt. Sorry you are having such a tough time just to get a f'in appt...

Ecarabeo217

I'm sooooooo sorry you're going through this! That was really crappy on the part of the OBs office, but you're better off if that's how they operate. Out of curiosity...where are you?? I'm wondering if I may know of anyone....any *competent* ob should be able to handle your care

Margritli

Ugh, I am so sorry. This sounds so ridiculous. If it helps, we haven't had our MaterniT21 yet either and won't for another two weeks, because the office (which happens to be in the hospital) is just so busy. My EDD is four days before yours. 

Have you tried with a doppler?  I have heard mixed reviews, but if the $50 would ease your mind, I would say that it is totally worth it. Do you have a GP who could advocate for you? My GP actually has the capabilities to do US, though he is not equipped for high-risk pregnancies, which is why we are at the local hospital.

Grasping at straws here...I hope you are able to get in soon!

chucktgirl

pblge said:

Ugh, I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) This really sounds hellish and I was really hoping you'd have better news today. I hope that the MFM gets their act together soon! Could the ER be a back up plan, just for sanity's sake?

@pblge, This is super shady of me, but if I don't get an appointment scheduled this week, I intend to go to my previous OB (who did not want to continue care with), not mention any of this other drama, and just show up saying, Hi, here I am, I'm pregnant again. How about an u/s and some b/w? Just to get it done. I could switch later down the road. It's not the most honest approach, but it does fulfill my needs.

brooklynesque

chucktgirl said:

pblge said:

Ugh, I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) This really sounds hellish and I was really hoping you'd have better news today. I hope that the MFM gets their act together soon! Could the ER be a back up plan, just for sanity's sake?

@pblge, This is super shady of me, but if I don't get an appointment scheduled this week, I intend to go to my previous OB (who did not want to continue care with), not mention any of this other drama, and just show up saying, Hi, here I am, I'm pregnant again. How about an u/s and some b/w? Just to get it done. I could switch later down the road. It's not the most honest approach, but it does fulfill my needs.

Hi, chucktgirl.  I don't think there would be anything dishonest about doing this at all.  You need OB care; the OB has care to offer.  Seeing him/her is not a contract in blood that you'll deliver with him/her.  People switch OBs all the time.  If I were you I'd go ahead and call that OB pronto!!  Good luck.

chucktgirl

Mrs.McIrish said:

Ugh, it all sounds so strange. I called the MFM's office and told them what made me high risk and they gave me an appt for the next week!!! I brought records with me to the first appt. Sorry you are having such a tough time just to get a f'in appt...

@Mrs.McIrish, you are very lucky. This MFM requires a referral from an OB in the same network. I've been having a hellish time. I guess I was really naive before all this IF treatment, when I rarely needed doctors for anything. I stupidly thought you just picked a doctor you liked, called and made an appointment for that week. Um, no. Now it's a struggle just to find a doctor in my insurance plan that doesn't practice an hour or more away from my home, then find one that is accepting new patients, then deal with getting a referral - oh and make sure the referral is coded correctly or else insurance doesn't cover it, then there's a month wait to get in, and on and on.

I liked it better when I was clueless and perfectly healthy.
BUT... gotta get this baby through!

chucktgirl

Ecarabeo217 said:

I'm sooooooo sorry you're going through this! That was really crappy on the part of the OBs office, but you're better off if that's how they operate. Out of curiosity...where are you?? I'm wondering if I may know of anyone....any *competent* ob should be able to handle your care

I'm in mid-Michigan, with United Healthcare. I appreciate you wanting to help. Trust me, I'd LOVE to have an advocate right about now! It's just so messed up! I can't believe (in my PGAL mindset) that I've gone a full three weeks with no RE/OB care whatsoever. My Lovenox injection site bled for three hours this morning and freaked me out. I think I've got the bleeding to stop finally, but all I could think of was who do I call for help if I can't get the bleeding to stop? I can't call my RE because she closed my patient file and signed me off to the new OB. But I can't call that OB because she back-pedaled and now won't accept me as a patient (because of my "Multiple Problems") and I can't call the MFM because I haven't yet been accepted as her patient! So I'm left with paying extra to go to an urgent care, where they know nothing about my situation or call my pcp, who also is not up to speed with my situation. Ugh. So upsetting. I almost cried today, I was so frustrated. The bleeding really threw me. I didn't realize I was still bleeding, and when I went to the bathroom at work, I got blood all over my hand when I unbuttoned my pants. There was blood all over my stomach, pants, buttons, etc. Scary.

chucktgirl

Margritli said:

Ugh, I am so sorry. This sounds so ridiculous. If it helps, we haven't had our MaterniT21 yet either and won't for another two weeks, because the office (which happens to be in the hospital) is just so busy. My EDD is four days before yours. 

Have you tried with a doppler?  I have heard mixed reviews, but if the $50 would ease your mind, I would say that it is totally worth it. Do you have a GP who could advocate for you? My GP actually has the capabilities to do US, though he is not equipped for high-risk pregnancies, which is why we are at the local hospital.

Grasping at straws here...I hope you are able to get in soon!

@Margritli, I am so anxious for the test! I can't wait! Did you have any genetic testing done on your embryos pre-transfer? We didn't, so I'm nervous.  I'm just being nosy now, but did you just transfer two, so you know the sex, or are you waiting to find out?

Unfortunately, while I love my GP, she is young and not well-connected. She does not do anything with u/s or OB stuff. She has made it very clear that this is not her area. As for the doppler, yes, I definitely want to get one, but I need one more u/s to know it's still developing before I invest. But, it's a great idea for the future. I just need to get there first!

mdiblasi10

Ugh. I am so, so sorry you are having such a difficult time being seen. That is so frustrating. I hope you can get in with the MFM soon and everything works out. You've been through enough!

Margritli

@chucktgirl‌, PGD is forbidden where I am (Switz.er.land), so no, we have no idea either. I totally understand where you are coming from. We have no idea about the sex either, but I am so beyond the point of even thinking about sex at this point, because I just want everyone to be healthy. I am still pretty sick and losing weight/dehydrated, so my goal for the next few weeks is just to keep my two daily bowls of oatmeal down and avoid a UTI. Dealing with IF here was such a nightmare that I just can't think about anything going wrong at this point, so I am not - call it denial, but I have to believe this is going to work out okay. I am just trying to get through one day at a time. I am thinking about you and sending you lots of good thoughts that everything gets sorted out soon. ETA: We did transfer two, since we have basically been playing roulette with my uterus the whole time, thanks to the laws here. And to add that I am originally from the Mitten.

Ecarabeo217

1983lindsey said:

@chucktgirl  did you ever ask your RE to give you another u/s while you are waiting?  They can also draw your blood for MaterniT21 as well.  I would tell them what is happening and see if they can help you out.  If you are paying OOP for the u/s I cannot think of any reason what so ever they would tell you no.  Hope you get in somewhere very soon!

This! Call your rei! They should be able to bridge the gap and get you tested and should have someone to refer you to....after all, I'm sure you aren't their only patient on lovenox. They have to have some connections! I put some feelers out, but I think you'll have better luck with the rei! Keep us posted! Fingers and toes crossed over here

luvboston

Call the office manager at your PCP office and force her to help you. This is ridiculous and dangerous and your re is being negligent. Make them draw mat 21.

southernyankeegirl

Even though your RE closed your file, you can absolutely call the office again. Perhaps the office staff can help find a new OB?

I personally have gone and sat in a doctor's office every single day for a week (I brought my phone, a charger, and a book) so that they would see me despite telling me they didn't have any appointments for 3 months. I was sweet and polite, insisting I didn't mind waiting for a cancellation or no-show. I think I just wore them out ;-)

I have also put my husband on the case, and while I am a strong independent woman who people often regret crossing (I do it with a smile, but I usually get my way), somehow sending his take-charge, no-excuses, make-things-happen attitude really can make stuff happen. Dunno if your DH is like this, but I have no shame in unleashing the intimidation factor if necessary!

I'd call all the doctors, both MFMs and OBs, and ask their help in sorting this out. Some MFMs have OBs they typically work with, so you could sort of reverse-refer - get the MFM to tell you which OB to go to, who will then refer you back to the MFM. Bonus: they work well together.

There is zero shame or issue with you going back to your previous OB until you can get this sorted out. In this relationship, doctor are the service and you are the consumer. You pick and choose what's right for you, and you have the right to change your mind!

Good luck!!! As far as religious beliefs of practitioners, I completely sympathize. However, in my part of the world, I would never ever find a practice who would openly agree with termination simply because they'd lose all their other patients if word got out. If you find yourself in that unfortunate situation, I am sure you will be able to then find a provider who will support your right to make whatever decision works best for you.

hopeby2015

Sorry to hear that you are still having trouble! How horrible! You'd think docs were there to be helpful and not make this process more excruciatingly painful!

As for calling for help, does your insurance have a 1-800 number you can call to talk to a nurse? Or maybe your job or dh's job offer a 24/7 on call nurse that you can call with questions? I know it won't solve all your problems but it might get a couple answers while you're waiting ...

KT416

I don't think it's shady at all to go to your old OB for the first appointment and then switch when you find the perfect one for you. It might be the best idea because you may not feel as rushed/stressed finding someone and you have someone to ask your questions in the meantime.

I had my first OB appointment after almost 3 weeks of being graduated from my RE. The nurse asked when my last u/s was and said that the OB may not even do an u/s since I "just had one", which I thought was weird, but luckily had one.

Don't feel bad about going back to your old OB and then switching soon. I wanted to get an OB appointment in before I told my parents and I'm sure my medical mom will have opinions about a better/different doctor so I may be switching OB's but we'll see.

Keep us posted!

chucktgirl

Thank you, for all the input & support. Unfortunately, everything is just more difficult than it should be. Nothing here is normal.

UPDATE:

I called the MFM back this afternoon because she said the doc would have read my records by Wed, Of course there was a problem with the paperwork. The OB was supposed to sign documents transferring me to MFM. But she won't sign them because she refuses to take me as a patient. But, I can't get an appt with the MFM without an OB referral. See the endless circle here? Even the receptionist said, yeah, it looks like you're in limbo. Yes, I'm in a limbo where I've gotten ZERO prenatal care for more than three weeks. Super. She seemed to understand and said she would talk to the MFM about the situation, but still couldn't estimate how long before I could get an appt with them, once (if) the MFM accepts me. She told me, "Well, you'll just have to make whatever choice you're comfortable with.". Except I don't have much of a choice, considering this MFM is the ONLY one in my network, and in my city. I have NO OTHER CHOICES.

So, then, I called my previous OB to make an appt for this pregnancy, just to get some balls rolling and give my fetus the care s/he deserves. I was told that the doc is very busy in the month of March (my DD) so they will have to confirm my insurance and review my file before determining if they will take me. WHAT?! She is my OB! (As far as she knows, anyway.) The receptionist said it takes around a week. A week?! For what? She said they had to confirm with my insurance that I don't have to pre-pay. No, I don't. I was just a patient of theirs 5 months ago, until my m/c! WTF?! I tried to stress the urgency of my situation. So, she just called me back (in an hour, not a week) to inform me that the doc will not take me as a patient because she already has too many due in March. SO, basically they just kicked me out of their practice and told me to go find a new OB!

I don't know what the hell I'm doing differently from anyone else. But apparently I must be giving off the worst vibes in the universe because not one single medical person out there gives a fuck about me or my fetus.

My last hope is my desperation call to my RE.

Mrs.McIrish

@chucktgirl‌ - will "old" OB who is rejecting you sign the referral to the MFM???

chucktgirl

@Mrs.McIrish, that will be tough, since I just bitched them out and requested all of my patient files to be returned to me immediately.

southernyankeegirl

chucktgirl said:

@Mrs.McIrish, that will be tough, since I just bitched them out and requested all of my patient files to be returned to me immediately.

I would call them back and ask that they take you just to refer you to MFM (since you're already a patient, they shouldn't have to even see you). That you won't deliver with them but you're at your wits end.

Holy cow, what a mess!

pblge

This is officially Kafkaesque. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. ((hugs)) You may need to file a complaint with your local medical board about this, as everyone is giving you the runaround. Perhaps calling the old obgyn and begging (perhaps you need to bring some baked goods) may be your best option.

hopeby2015

This is insane and I completely feel for you! I hope that if you call the local medical as pp stated, that they wil investigate and take it seriously.

I thought you'd said there were 5 OBs? Any chance you didn't call one of them? See if they could just take you? Of course, there's always the show up, plead your case, and beg one of em to take you on. But I wouldn't blame you if you didn't wanna do that.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you! I hope you can get answers and an OB! ((HUGS))

Neesey

I know this isn't ideal but do you have a crisis pregnancy in your town? They might be able to at least get you in for a blood draw and referral. Worth a shot!

mm29

@chucktgirl, does your insurance have a patient advocate line you can call? If not, I'd call and ask for a supervisor and talk to them regarding your situation and see if they have any suggestions.

If that doesn't work, I would call your RE and let them know about your situation. I know they "signed off" on your file, but they may make an exception and bring you in for another ultrasound to ease your mind. In addition, your RE may be able to pull some strings to either help you find an OB/GYN to admit you as their patient. I would also see if your RE can sign the referral to the MFM. If that fails I’d call a family medicine doctor that takes OB patients, schedule an appointment to see if that provider can do an U/S, blood work, and sign the referral to the MFM.

Lastly, If all else fails, I would go to an ER. I know this in the least preferable, and not the best use of our medical system. You can tell them you are pregnant and are having abdominal pain or you can tell them you are having severe anxiety or bad m/s, etc. They have to see you, and they will do an ultrasound. They will consult with an OB/GYN. At that point they can either sign your MFM referral or take you on as their patient.

Good Luck Friend!! I hope everything works out for you!!  

Allison7

You mentioned that there are only 5 OBs in your town...I know it would be a huge pain, but what about driving an hour or two just for one OB appointment? You should be able to get someone to see you, get your u/s and your MFM referral.