Wwyd-UPDATE

luvboston

UPDATE- Sadly Hamas bombed Israel with 50 rockets so we are not going, any of us. Hugs to Blueberries and any other Israeli's.

I have a problem I need solved. DH family lives in Israel we were supposed to go at the end of September. It's getting down to crunch time and I need to make a dec of whether I will go. I absolutely will not go if rockets are flying into Tel Aviv. However it looks like things are going back to what they were before July. My issue is I'm pregnant and having severe stomach problems and just generally am high risk. My two OBs said its ok to go if I get a full ultrasound a couple days before. They warned me if something happens when I'm there they won't let me fly back. Other issue is I hate and not just hate despise my mother in law. We don't get along and it's stressful. We aren't staying with them we are staying at a time share with a kitchen because I have so many food allergies. I won't be able to eat out in Israel because they are awful about celiac. We are going for 5 days. Should I suck it up and be a grown up and go or send my mother in my place? I don't trust DH to go alone because he gets exhausted dealing with LO after 8 hours and she gets withdrawn if she's with his family too long. Also last time his mother and him took care of her thy didn't feed her for over 4 hours and she was screaming.

bumpuser6119831

I would probably send my mom, the thought of something happening and not being able to get back would scare me.

kmc84

I honestly wouldn't go. I feel like it's too much of a risk to potentially get stuck there if something should happen

What about dd? I thought she was following a celiac diet? That would make me not let her go either....

mcgeeva

wow this is tough one. I think I wouldn't go if I was considered high risk. Does your mom really want to go??? IF not I think I would say keep dd but at the same time If she doesn't have allergies I feel I would almost have to trust dh to take DD alone with his mother because of allowing the grandparents to see her. If it wasn't for that reason I would say hell no don't go at all without you. What was the deal with them not feeding her? Depending on that would drastically change my opinion as well. 

luvboston

kmc84 said:

I honestly wouldn't go. I feel like it's too much of a risk to potentially get stuck there if something should happen

What about dd? I thought she was following a celiac diet? That would make me not let her go either....

LO can eat goat yogurt, pouches and fruit/veggies so it's easier than me.
Gf boxed stuff

MJC1116

Given it's quite a distance and it's only 5 days, add the fact that you're pregnant and potentially high-risk with food needs not supported, I'd say no way. Then add in the in-laws who aren't accommodating and completely disregarded your daughter's needs, shine that noise. Maybe I'm mean/overprotective, but I wouldn't go and I wouldn't let DD go without me. 

mdiblasi10

I agree with the others that said they wouldn't go for your safety's sake and I also wouldn't send LO without me. It would just freak me out too much to be that far away. But I also haven't spent one night away from DS in two years. I would do what you are most comfortable with. Good luck with your decision!

jmorta04

Personally I wouldn't go. I just wouldn't want to be that far away from my doctors and not be able to get home if something went wrong. That being said, I would also have a hard time sending my child without me, esp considering the circumstances. If your mom is willing to go, I think that's a good compromise though.

di0607

In your place... Kiddo and I would be staying home. Don't think I would be ok with my hubby going either considering the instability there. It's just my opinion though.

ccam

I probably wouldn't go either.  And although I'd completely trust DH with DS, I think I'd keep DS home with me, too.  I don't think even DH would want to bring DS without me either.  He might stay home, too.

blueberries8

I think you know that I live in Israel but it sounds to me like the trip will be more stress than it's worth, especially for only 5 days. That's a really intense trip in terms of just the travel while pregnant for such a short time here. The medical care is on par with the states (at least if you can navigate the system) but regardless it would suck for you to get stuck so far from home for an extended period if you ran into a complication. How far along are you now? I am looking at it from the perspective that I would be reluctant to travel to the states for a week past first tri if I were in your shoes. 

ETA: The idea is your mom would go to help with DD in your place? I think that sounds reasonable. I would feel okay with my mom traveling with my daughter without me for a week, especially if it was to visit my ILs, though I wouldn't love being away from her. It sounds like a good compromise, though, so that your ILs still get to see DD.

Dragonfly1226

Wait, what??? You are pregnant??? I am so out of the loop! Congratulations!!!

If it was me, I would send my h with the kids to see the ILs. In general, I don't think it is fair to tell a baby's father that he can't take a trip with his own daughter. I do understand that your h works so much and isn't around a lot. That combined with the fact that it isn't the safest of locations makes me the it might be a good idea to keep her home with you.

Congratulations again!

luvboston

blueberries8 said:

I think you know that I live in Israel but it sounds to me like the trip will be more stress than it's worth, especially for only 5 days. That's a really intense trip in terms of just the travel while pregnant for such a short time here. The medical care is on par with the states (at least if you can navigate the system) but regardless it would suck for you to get stuck so far from home for an extended period if you ran into a complication. How far along are you now? I am looking at it from the perspective that I would be reluctant to travel to the states for a week past first tri if I were in your shoes. 

ETA: The idea is your mom would go to help with DD in your place? I think that sounds reasonable. I would feel okay with my mom traveling with my daughter without me for a week, especially if it was to visit my ILs, though I wouldn't love being away from her. It sounds like a good compromise, though, so that your ILs still get to see DD.

I know you live in Israel and I have been to Israel during times of turmoil so that part isn't as big a deal. I have also dealt with the healthcare system which is top knotch the only issue is I would be stuck with my inlaws and that would send me over the edge.
My mom I totally trust so that is why I would send her in my place.
I'm 11 weeks.

Mayzie15

ccam said:

I probably wouldn't go either.  And although I'd completely trust DH with DS, I think I'd keep DS home with me, too.  I don't think even DH would want to bring DS without me either.  He might stay home, too.

This. Hope you come to a decision everyone is happy with.

kmc84

Well, that is a sad update T&Ps to all those affected!

mdiblasi10

Oh my goodness I am so sorry to hear that. Keeping everyone in my thoughts.

blueberries8

Yeah, we're back to square one Once the rockets started in Tel Aviv last night I figured Jerusalem would be next so I moved N sleeping from the crib in her room to the PNP in our safe room. Sure enough, at midnight we had sirens in Jerusalem, so I was happy I moved her when I did. So far the daytime has been quiet in Jerusalem. The good news is my husband finished his reserve army duty today so my single parenting stint is over and I've got DH home!

ccam

Thinking of you @blueberries8!

mcgeeva

blueberries8 hope you are safe! 

Terrible situation but luckily made and easier decision for your family. 

mdiblasi10

@blueberries8 Thinking of you! You are so brave. Stay safe.

kmc84

mdiblasi10 said:

@blueberries8 Thinking of you! You are so brave. Stay safe.

This!