mom vent

flockofmoosen3

My mom, dad, and brother are staying with us right now for a couple of weeks. My mom is driving me crazy with constantly correcting me or telling me what to do with my baby. She is always telling me to feed her Or that I need to make baby warmer or put pants on her or change her diaper here...and the worst is "give her to me! Oh, there is my baby!" it's just too much. I am trying my hardest not to fight with her because that would be terrible for everyone here. Also, I have been successful at caring for my baby without her help for several weeks so....

The other night I also made the mistake of saying that once I missed the pre-baby days of post-college with my husband and our old friends...omg. she claimed that she wasn't talking about me, but went off on how my deadbeat dad said the same thing before running off, and how a women is supposed never ever look back after baby or ever miss anything....she tried to make me feel bad and guilty for even thinking that way for a second. I got so pissed.

So...anyone else?

delatl

My mom is very judgmental and offers a lot of "advice" every time she watches the baby. I'm tempted to say, yes that works great when you just have her a few hours but 24/7, it's different.

bridetobe9132013

My mil is wonderful but sometimes drives me crazy with my dd. Anytime she is around she constantly asks to hold dd. Her way of asking is "you want me to take her?" We were on vacation for a family trip and the in laws watched dd for 2 hours while we did a bike ride and I got back and wanted my time to cuddle my baby and she kept asking to take her. I pretended I didnt hear a few times then finally my dh says "I think she just needs time with her." When I have dd, mil will watch from across the room and ask all kinds of questions... when did she eat last? How much did she eat? When was she changed last? If she was watching her, I understand why she would need to know. They babysat her last week while we got groceries and when we got back dd was sleeping. I knew she wouldn't wake up so I picked her up to cuddle her and mil says "you picked that sleeping baby up?" It's my baby... back off! I know she loves dd but let me be her mommy. Sorry so long!

waldothewiener1

Lol, I wonder if we'll act like this to our DDs/DILs 20+ years from now...

giggler25

lia5464 said:

Lol, I wonder if we'll act like this to our DDs/DILs 20+ years from now...

Never..... I know what it's like to have an annoying MIL and will *never* behave that way!

flockofmoosen3

Well, still the same today but I'm less annoyed. She is being nice anyway.

And i may actually be just like her when my time comes. Im already bossy.

Emmagk

My mum keeps suggesting I offer DS water to stretch out time between feedings, she's suggested this probably half a dozen times since he was born. He eats every 2.5 hours during the day but goes 8 hours overnight. He's EBF and I don't want to stretch out his feedings, I have no problem feeding him if he's hungry every 2.5 hours.

soylatte

Emmagk said:

My mum keeps suggesting I offer DS water to stretch out time between feedings, she's suggested this probably half a dozen times since he was born. He eats every 2.5 hours during the day but goes 8 hours overnight. He's EBF and I don't want to stretch out his feedings, I have no problem feeding him if he's hungry every 2.5 hours.

My step mom said the same thing. It's old school. Babies get all they need in our milk.

Nikkipal82

I keep getting comments about how DDs feet are cold and she needs socks. Not a huge deal, but I hear it all the time and it makes me feel a little like people don't think I pay attention to my baby. Honestly, she's always kicking them off and I don't think they're worth the trouble, at least in the middle of summer in North Carolina. I just tell people that if she was uncomfortable, she would let me know. This usually ends the conversation, since it is really logical. I'm sorry you're going through this though, it's so stressful.

HoangVy

OMG! I thought I was the only one. Thank you for sharing! My MIL, over the phone, is suggesting I add cereal/formula to DS's bottle (even though he is EBF) at night so he sleeps longer. He sleeps 5+ hours at night. My mother keeps wanting to give DS water when he has the hiccups even though I've made it clear that he'll have BM when it happens.

GracedGuest

My mom and MIL actually aren't too bad. They don't offer any unwanted suggestions and seem to respect me as a mom.

But... my sister-in-law is a WHOLE different story. First she made up a nickname for our LO that is so ugly and is posting pictures of our daughter all over Facebook using that nickname. So people have started calling our daughter that thinking that's what we're using and we're like "noo- we definitely don't call her that. Her aunt made that up." My SIL doesn't care that we don't like it and said "well it's my special name for her." Second, she always wants to take our daughter from us when she starts crying. My SIL doesn't even have any kids, but she thinks she knows just what to do. She especially does this to my husband. This is our first child so he's already unsure of himself when it comes to calming and taking care of LO, and it makes him feel even more self conscious and nervous. My SIL sees our daughter fuss, tries to take her from my husband, and says "you don't know what you're doing. Give her to me." Plus our LO usually doesn't calm down with my SIL so I have to watch my baby cry until finally she agrees to hand her over. Ugh I could keep going on about other things, but those bug me the most!

flockofmoosen3

My family have gone now. It was bittersweet in that i love seeing them because it's so infrequent, but it is nice to get the house back and in order again.

The second to last night I wanted to give my dad an opportunity to put Isa to sleep since he was feeling like she hates him. Not true, she was just going through a wonder week while they were here and she was fussy with him.

So he was excited to have the chance to snuggle a happy baby and help her sleep before thr trip ends. He used BM bottles, andmade his first attempt at putting her down in her crib. This never works the first time, even for me. He went to pick her back up andcontinue her bottle, only to turn around and see my mom sitting in the rocking chair! She told him something about how he couldn't do it and told him he was tired and should go to bed and let her put Isa to sleep. Dad came down and told me and I was so mad. I could tell he was disappointed but didn't want to fight it. I scolded my mom for it and the next day gave my dad as much snuggle time as he could get. It was really mean of her but I don't think she sees it like that.

pistolpackinmomma

My mom knows better than to try to give unsolicited advice. She knows that I will distance myself and the kids from her if she does. If I ask her she will gladly give her opinion but she also knows that I research pretty much everything. MIL on the other hand doesn't offer advice but will instead just ignore whatever we just said. Case in point: DS1 was 3 months old. She asked him if he wanted some m&ms (because she's grandma and that's what grandmas do) and DH and I both said no. So instead FIL crumbled a cookie between his thumb and index finger until it was dust and "gave him a taste". I was livid. Her excuse was that he didn't give him a cookie, just a little cookie dust. WTF woman. It doesn't magically become healthy when pulverized.

flockofmoosen3

pistolpackinmomma said:

My mom knows better than to try to give unsolicited advice. She knows that I will distance myself and the kids from her if she does. If I ask her she will gladly give her opinion but she also knows that I research pretty much everything. MIL on the other hand doesn't offer advice but will instead just ignore whatever we just said. Case in point: DS1 was 3 months old. She asked him if he wanted some m&ms (because she's grandma and that's what grandmas do) and DH and I both said no. So instead FIL crumbled a cookie between his thumb and index finger until it was dust and "gave him a taste". I was livid. Her excuse was that he didn't give him a cookie, just a little cookie dust. WTF woman. It doesn't magically become healthy when pulverized.

I would be mad too. My mom put some ice cream on my baby's pacifier when I wasn't looking and I was like wtf. Sigh...sometimes it's like we have to babysit our parents, too!

bridetobe9132013

I would be furious if anyone fed my child something I dont approve of... especially when she is this young! Its not just that its unhealthy, their digestive systems aren't mature yet. Couldn't that make them sick?